My arguement with McCain

[ColoradoMagician]

Hi Everyone:

Many of you don't know this but I am a real mover and shaker in the political communities. I receive email from some of the top politicians almost daily.

I wanted to share with you my arguement with John McCain. He can be very frustrating to talk to.

Subject Line: Ready to shake things up (Oh, good. I am glad you are ready, and when did you get ready?)

My Friends, (see, I told you I am a 'mover and a shaker' with these guys. Also, I would like to point out that this is an email from McCain, which shows once again that Karl Rove has no idea what he is talking about.)

In my life, no success has come without a good fight and this election is no exception. (Well, you should really try not fighting and instead try negotiating or working to get along with others. They teach this in grade school.)

I am joined in this fight by Governor Sarah Palin and other reformers on our Party's ticket. (ok, I guess you didn't listen to my fight comment. You know, listening to others is a very good skill, you might want to work on that one, but we will move on. I like the reform thing. Things really suck nowadays.)

We are fighting (sigh) for your well-being,(oh good, I have been unemployed for seven months now, and I just had to pay a $70 billion bill to some insurance company named AIG. I don't even have an account with these idiots!)

for our men and women in uniform,(excellent. They need lots of medical care, mental health care and employment. They are helping us and we should be helping them)

for better jobs, (Nice. 7 months of unemployment! But you promised 400,000 new jobs by 2012. We need millions of new jobs now. Millions! Now! BTW, Obama promised a hell of a lot more jobs than you. If you don't mind, I can't wait until 2012.)

for energy independence (OK, but you might be a little out of touch about this one. The new cause is Endless Energy. Energy Independence is good and should happen, but you need to look at the future and not just at the current problems. Say it with me, Endless Energy. Good.)

and for government reform. (How are you going to do this?)

I'm fortunate to have a partner in reform, Governor Palin. (Is REFORM a new word that you just learned?)

Our ticket is ready to shake up Washington, (Yeah!)
ready to bring real change (Yeah!)
and stand up to the status quo. (Oh. Well aren't you the status quo? Are you going to stand up to yourself?

But we won't be elected without your support. (Stop trying to flatter me. I am only one vote.)

The polls all show this election is extremely close and we expect it to remain close until Election Day. (Yeah, I am surprised too. )

The best way to help our ticket secure a win in November is to make a generous donation right away to McCain-Palin Victory 2008. (Once again I have to refer back to the listening skill. I have been unemployed for 7 months. I don't really have money to offer.)

There are big differences between the Obama-Biden Democrats and us. (Yeah, they seem to be more reality based.)
We have different visions for the country. Our ticket has a record of bringing reform to government so that government fights for the people. Instead of talking about change, we use our careers to bring change. And that has the Obama-Biden Democrats running scared. (Dude, do you know what you are talking about? Why would the Dems be running scared? Because of change and reform? Isn't that what the Dems say they want? They aren't running scared. They are running to fight breast cancer, to fight AIDS and to help charities. You certainly do have different visions.)

Election Day is less than 50 days away (Yeeeeaaaahhh!)
and the Obama-Biden Democrats have launched vicious and offensive attacks. (How dare they! The Repubs have been a fine example of compassion and love. You guys are all so innocent and tolerant and friendly towards others. Especially the last 8 years. BTW, did the Dems say anything true? Let me get this straight: 'fight' is good, but 'attack' is bad. right? You know that 'fight' and 'attack' are the same concepts, don't you?)

The Obama-Biden Democrats will no doubt turn these attacks on other reformers on our ticket. (Well, are the other Dems going to try to stop them or are they just going to let these 'Obama-Biden' Democrats do whatever they want. Who are these 'other reformers'?) They can attack if they want; all the insults in the world aren't going to bring change to Washington. (ok, then let them attack. Why are you wasting your time worrying about it. You seem to focus your energy on the wrong things. It's kind of like your paranoid. Just chill.)

Our ticket has a record of putting our country first (come on, dude. I am trying to be serious. Don't lie to me.) and with your help we'll bring other reformers to Washington with us. (Who are these reformers you keep mentioning? And dude, the problem is in Washington D.C., not Washington.)

We put our beloved country above all else (well, you really don't.) and it is my great hope that you will join us today.(I have plans today, you need to give me more notice than that.)

Please join us by making a contribution of $50, $100, $250, $500, $1,000 or more to McCain-Palin Victory 2008. (Dude, don't you listen? I AM UNEMPLOYED! Are you an idiot?)

With your support, we're going to win this election. (Good god, I hope not)

Sincerely,

John McCain

P.S. As the polls begin to turn in our favor, the Obama-Biden Democrats have launched vicious attacks against me and will no doubt launch them against other reformers on our ticket. (Yeah, you said that before. I thought we were over that. Seriously dude. That is paranoia.)
And what you can do to help today is make an immediate donation of $50 or more to McCain-Palin Victory 2008. (Sigh.)
The Obama-Biden Democrats are desperate and scared, (Everybody is desperate and scared. You are so out of touch.)and they should be because with your unwavering support, we are going to win. Thank you. (Go-Bama!)