Rove Opens New School For Evil

[20score]

New York - Amid rumors that Karl Rove was not happy with his new role as a pundit on Fox, some facts were gleaned about a much more ambitious role for the strategist in the country’s future. Since leaving the White House in the role of the Bush’s Brain/Dark Lord, it is widely known in Washington insider circles that Turd Blossom really never gave up his old profession. It was just being done in a different location in order to become more effective by redirecting attention to the less well-known media manipulators
“But, we know the Lizard by his tail-tracks,” said republican strategist Frank Luntz. “ I know it’s him – it has to be. I’ve tried to do his job, but I just couldn’t cut it. And I tried to do everything Karl did, but nothing helped. Voodoo, drinking the blood of virgins…I even had a pentagram tattooed on my ass, like Karl, and still. – Well, that’s why he’s the master.”

But now, advertisements on white supremacist’s web sites and College Republican rags have confirmed the worst. Rove is in the process of opening up a school to train future sociopaths in the finer arts of misdirection and character assassination.
“If only there was a school like this when I was younger,” whined Ralph Reed. “Sure, I’ve done a lot of damage to people and I’m able to act morally superior, but that’s nothing to Karl’s achievements.”

What is known is that the new school will be very selective in the admission process. No one will be allowed to matriculate without first failing a battery of psychological tests.

Dick Cheney, cofounder of The School for Evil, was willing to give one quote about their hopes and goals. “We’re hoping with enough ‘Little Karls’ attached to enough up-and-coming ‘Little Georges’ we’ll be able to destroy what’s left of the constitution, and steal the remainder of the treasury!” Cheney said, with what we were told was a smile on his face.

[napi21]

1. If you don'pt have a link, get this crap off of DU. n/t

[20score]

7. Really? You think they're advertising a School for Evil?' Come on!

[pepperbear]

13. unfuckingbelievable. it's called satire...

asshat.

[20score]

14. Thank you! Humor works much better when you don't have to explain,

it's humor.

[napi21]

2. If you don'pt have a link, get this crap off of DU. n/t

[20score]

4. Here's your link!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=3935048&mesg_id=3935048

[Suich]

3. Uh-oh...here we go again!

:popcorn:

Hang in there, 20score!

[SpiralHawk]

5. We must all Hang In There together, or surely we will Hang Apart.

Loved the OP. Not crap at all. Funny. LOL.

Why do republicon trolls lack a sense of humor? Is it because their republicon party is so corrupt, so amoral, and so seriesly FAIL?

[Liberal Dose]

21. The Republicans require a mandatory lobotomy and humorectomy upon joining.

I think the humorless asshat just blew his cover :rofl:

[20score]

6. Thanks much, Suich!

[cliffordu]

20. Ummm, ME TOO!!!

:popcorn:

[suede1]

8. Recommended! Funny!

[hootinholler]

9. Do you write for The Onion?

:rofl:

-Hoot

[20score]

10. Wow, thanks! Just started writing satire about two weeks ago.

Think I'd like to write for them, though. Go ahead and recommend if you like it, maybe I'll finally make the main page.
But you, rock!!

[hootinholler]

17. Moi? Surely you're joking Mr. Finemann.

Already did rec it before I replied. And seriously, it reads exactly like their copy.

I had no idea I had a fans :shrug: most of my stuff sinks like a rock. Oh, yeah welcome to DU! Forgot my manners there.

-Hoot

[BrklynLiberal]

11. Yes. It would fit perfectly into their usual releases....

:thumbsup:

[RufusTFirefly]

12. Any "laser" beam training at the school?

Nice job, 20score!

[malaise]

15. Well done

K & R

[kurth_]

16. When is this fucker gonna get a painful illness or something?

Evil assholes.

[20score]

18. Aah, if only life worked like that, we'd all be better off.

[Liberal Dose]

19. Excellent!

I'm starting to look for your posts now, 20score. I need a few good laughs :D

[20score]

23. Thank you!! You've made my night!. I'm off to my birthday party.

Have a great weekend.

[20score]

25. Because of people like you, I am going to send my journal to The Onion

See what they think.

[ColbertWatcher]

22. These people are sociopaths.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=3939460&mesg_id=3939460

[warren pease]

24. That sarcasm icon is your friend...

So here's the OP from a thread about the successful landing of NASA's latest Mars rover from back in May:

Looks like the NASA's NEW Mars Lander was successful!!! First Pictures coming in Now!

On NASA TV!

Here's my feeble attempt at timely humor, tongue firmly in cheek but apparently undetectable from the outside:

But... but... solar's not a viable technology...

Good thing the project wasn't underwritten by ExxonMobilStandardTexaco or whatever the hell intergalactic super-state the bastards have formed this weekend.

Had it been a GlutCo Toxic Emissions R Us, Ltd. production, they'd have forced NASA to run Phoenix on their finest fossil fuels.

I'm not an engineer, but I'll bet carrying a couple of tons of oil barrels without increasing the rover's external dimensions or the thrust of the retro-rockets would have been one hell of a tough design challenge.

Assholes... Nationalize the whole lot of them, put all their execs and interlocking boards in jail and toss the keys down the deepest, driest oil well in Texas. And resist the urge to give them any time off for good behavior, since sociopaths are incapable of it.

And here's an appreciative fan responding to my deadly serious post:

Nominated!!

for dumbest post of the month.

If all one had to do is work for only 90 days and only dig a small trench, solar energy would work beautiful.

For most of everything else? Oil is the only power source our idiotic congress has ponied up for.

Remember: Only you can keep satire alive. Always use this protective shield before posting snide remarks on a public forum:

:sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm:



wp