Can someone explain to me why getting married at 17 is a good thing?

[nadine_mn]

Personally I think 17 is way too young to have a baby... however if Jamie Lynn Spears can do it and now the VP nominee's daughter can, then maybe I am old-fashioned.

I am not going to discuss whether or not Bristol should have decided abortion (obviously not now... but earlier in the pregnancy) - I am pretty sure that decision was made for her.

But so many republicans and fundies are praising Sarah and her daughter for keeping the baby and for Bristol marrying the father.

I know nothing about the father Levi... the self-proclamed f'ing redneck, salmon poacher, and now famous for his little swimmers. But really... 18 and 17 - is that really a good age to get married? How much of a decision was Bristol and Levi's versus parental pressure? Why is this seen as "doing the right thing".

Now I know that there are plenty of people who married young or married their high school sweethearts and have wonderful marriages. And I know 17 is young but not unusual to have a baby... but to me it seems like less of a choice these young people made than a choice that was made for them... and that is not fair to them or their unborn child. So I guess my concern is less about their young age and more about how much say they have... I would probably feel the same if Bristol was 20.

My mom was a single mother most of my life (she divorced my dad when I was 3.. then "for the sake of" me remarried him and then divorced him again by the time I was 5). I always find it insulting this idea that a child "needs" 2 parents (and of course those parents "must" be a heterosexual father and mother rather than 2 moms or 2 dads :sarcasm: ). Yes it was financially and emotionally harder on my mom, but she was happier (and safer because my dad was abusive) without him in our lives. The difference in my life was that my mom had the love and support of her 5 brothers and her parents. I was (and am) loved and cherished by my family which more than made up for not having a father around.
Parents who stay together for the sake of their kids are not doing the kids any favors, IMO, because that underlying tension and unhappiness can be felt by kids. And that is such an awful feeling - when your parents aren't happy and it shows.

I am 36 and I have been married to a wonderful man for close to 10yrs. We have no human kids.. just furry ones, and our marriage has had a lot of ups and downs, and we don't have public scrutiny (other than our respective in-laws) focused on us. Bristol's marriage will be media fodder for as long as it lasts... a strain I would not wish on anyone. Marriage is a huge life event, so is the birth of a child, and obviously so is having your parent a vice-presidential nominee. To be an observer rather than a particpant in these events is unfair.

So rather than fundies praising this young marriage... I would rather see counseling (be it spiritual or not) to help ready these 2 to be parents first, spouses later.


Sorry if I inadvertently offended anyone

[rurallib]

1. Easier to get a date to the Junior/Senior prom?

:shrug:

[EmeraldCityGrl]

10. Prime reproductive years for the Evangelical Christian Army. N/T

[SmokingJacket]

2. It's not a good thing, it's a terrible thing.

They know it. They don't want Obama to win the election, so they're spinning everything as hard as they can.

[Balbus]

3. Hell, you could've left out the "at 17" part and it would still be a valid question.

[chelsea0011]

4. Thanks for comments, but with respect to your question the answer is,

that this all the fundies have to offer when life hits them in the face. It's called "doing the right thing" and to a fundie it explains it all away.

[OmahaBlueDog]

5. Teen marriage is the fundie cautionary tale

Don't have s-e-x before marriage, or this is what can happen to you.

As a father of 2 young daughters, my view is that what I want from the young man is a legally binding commitment to pay child support.

[NeedleCast]

6. Just Depends on Who it Is

Sort of a thing you have to look at on a case-by-case basis. When I was in the Army, I knew quite a few troops who got married in their late teens, usually to high school sweet hearts before they left for an over-seas tour. Just like any other marriage, sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn't. Like many things, marriage doesn't necessarily have a proper age.

[nadine_mn]

13. That's why I added the part about less about her age

and more about seemingly not having a choice. I think there was a lot of pressure to "do the right thing".

I was engaged at 18... fortunately that didn't work out... that would have been a huge mistake. At 18 I had no idea who I was or what I wanted (heck still not always sure), but I didn't have a pregnancy or any pressure to get married either.

[slackmaster]

7. I respect the right of other people to make stupid decisions

And to live with the consequences of those decisions.

[LonelyLRLiberal]

8. So you'll make better choices for the second spouse?

It's a divorce waiting to happen, preceded by misery and the probability of cheating.

[marew]

9. Palin's narcissistic pursuit of power.

Mommy's fundy ideas are pushing this in an attempt to look "respectable." I feel really sorry for the teens and the unborn child. What a disaster. As far as we know, neither of the kids even finished high school. The chances are so small this "marriage" will ever succeed. It also proves mom wants to pursue her narcissistic power grab and no one, not even her family, her own children, will get in her way.

[OHdem10]

11. I was married at 28 years of age, so you can understand

where I personally stand on such issues. However, as I watch this
campaign I see why the country is so divided. There are serious
cultural differences in our country that make our people seem to be like
ships passing in the night.

Does anyone remember or even bother to watch the Romney interview?
They were married while both were in college. Family preempts all.

While all conservatives are not Mormon, starting families and growing
families is a prime tenet of their philosophy.

Hope this helps. I am not saying they are right or wrong--just trying
to answer the question.

[KharmaTrain]

Wanna Bet How Long This "Marriage" Lasts?

Dare we site the statistics of how many shotgun weddings endure? I'll bet ten years from now Bristol is a single mom. Thank goodness she's got a family that has money...and even then, I'll bet she's cast off and, if mom's political career is hurt by this, the damage will endure...not to mention the stigma the child is sure to go through. While mom and Granny Baracuda may try to cover up the circumstances of his/her birth, others sure won't.

The fact Granny Baracuda is exploiting her child this way is disgusting...first for neglecting her (as well as her newborn special needs child) and then putting her through public humiliation. I feel very sorry for Bristol for being a pawn in this cruel and cynical ploy...and a mother who is putting her ambition ahead of the best interests of her family.

[madokie]

12. Only so they can get that first marriage out of the way

while they're still young ;-)

[sofa king]

14. Okay, here's a few:

* Marrying in one's teens prevents teenagers from endangering themselves and others, because they are too busy working multiple jobs and trying to care for a small child.

* Having children may provide valuable draft deferments should the draft be reinstated.

* Teenage parents have the opportunity to instruct their children while they still know everything.

* By squandering their youth, they'll have the opportunity to vainly try recovering it in their late thirties and early forties.

* Teenage parenthood almost by default precludes higher education, thus ensuring loyalty to the Republican Party and Jebus.

[spanone]

15. only if you're a republican..if you're black and poor youre a welfare mother

[Gormy Cuss]

16. There's exactly one reason why teen marriage is preferred in such situations.

The baby won't be a bastard, thus saving the family from shame. Getting pregnant before marriage is a big no-no but marrying the father before the birth is a do-over. Once the parents are married they have paid penance to God and community. That's what the conservative fundamentalists call family values.

It doesn't matter that they may not get along as adults the same way they did as teens. Divorce is better than never having married. A miserable marriage is better too, for that matter.