All this I hate Edwards stuff is really aggrivating!

[napi21]

Almost everybody on DU would pounce on anyone who slams a woman for getting pregnant and not being married.

It's OK for same sex couples to adopt children.

It's OK for consenting adults to have sex.

But it's HORRIBLE when a married man or woman has sex and are not married to each other?????

For god sake people, get a grip! This kind of stuff goes on every day, everywhere, in every age group, in every class of society, in every State, every country across the world.

John was wrong to deny it. He should have had the courage to say "Yep I did" and let the chips fall. But to continuously slam him for doing something that a very high % of both men & women do every day is being that same hypocrits as we accuse the pubs of being all the time!

Do I think what he did was the right thing to do? Probably not, but I can give you a lot of scenarios where I could understand why.

[JDPriestly]

1. He should have had the courage to say "Yep I did."

That would have been the end of it for me. I liked his message. I also thought he had integrity. I would have been disappointed in his callousness toward his family, but that would have been their matter.

The problem is that he lacked the courage to be honest. We have far too little courage to be honest in politics today.

We need to hold our politicians to high standards in this regard. We need to demand that they be honest. Same for Republicans. Same for Democrats.

Edwards was not honest when it mattered.

[pengillian101]

4. seconded. n/t

[MonteLukast]

10. He STILL has integrity.

"Edwards was not honest when it mattered."

I think it's time we stopped using family behavior as a shorthand for a person's honesty in all circumstances. Affair or not, Edwards is one of our best fighters against corporate corruption, and I am NOT willing to let him be thrown away because of this.

[arcos]

2. If they're not married to anyone at all and they have sex, not fine, but great...

If they are married to someone else, then it's not fine at all (unless everyone involved has agreed).

If they are married to someone else, and running for President, then it's pretty bad under any circumstance.

If they are married to someone else, running for President, and the spouse has cancer, then it's pretty much terrible.

Just my opinion, of course.

[Debi]

3. I can only speak for myself

Yes, it would be horrible if my husband had sex with someone other than me. And I feel for any married person whose spouse strays.

And I feel for anyone who stood up for John Edwards, supported him, gave him money, voted/caucused for him thinking him to be honest and faithful (because that's what he said he was).

[glowing]

5. yes it does. It sucks because we project our interests onto someone

and when the hero status fades into a normal person with the same types of problems we have in our lives, it makes it harder to beleive in good things and that's what sucks. On top of that. The children and family are brought out into all of this and are humiliated and dragged through his mud... which he deserves.. and if they went through this 2yrs ago, it kinda re-hashes old issues that was a private discussion between him and Elizabeth... Wish sometimes it was like the old days when politicians smut didn't hit tabloid... but in today's world, its a paparazzi event.

[napi21]

12. You're right, but why where the wife & children dragged through the mud?

Because the media & the PUBLIC love salacious stories! Sorry folks, but I want to go back to the days of JFK, when everybody really knew women were "visiting" the WH, but it was left alone in the rumor mill.

[MonteLukast]

18. I think you see why someone would lie right there.

And if they went through this 2yrs ago, it kinda re-hashes old issues that was a private discussion between him and Elizabeth...

I firmly maintain that Bill Clinton lied in an effort to avoid embarrassment. Same with JRE. Everybody who has gone through something humiliating wants the same thing: to do something, ANYTHING to make it all go away.

Usually including lies.

[LWolf]

6. I don't hate him.

I don't respect him, either. It's not personal. I don't respect the character of people who will cheat for self-gratification, knowing that it hurts others.

[dbonds]

7. I don't care what percentage of people cheat on their mates, it is shameful.

I think less of anyone that cheats. No one can speak of honor and trust that breaks the bond between mates.

[TornadoTN]

8. Edwards lied to all of us and he knew the media and the GOP would use this against him

Sure, his affair is none of my business and in a perfect world it should never hold any bearing on our election. But we all know what happens in today's climate when sex-scandals break (unless you are a Republican, where you get a free-pass).

David Patterson had the foresight and integrity to come clean when he was inaugurated and cut off that talking point from the GOP and the media. Why couldn't Edwards have done the same.

[bluethruandthru]

9. It's not just the fact that he cheated on his wife...

It's that he ran for President of the United States, asked for money from supporters, etc. etc. He did this knowing that he had this incident out there, undiscovered. He lied repeatedly to supporters by denying this story. If he had become the nominee, this would have ended our hopes of putting a Democrat in the White House in 09. It's not quite the same as a private citizen having an affair.

[MonteLukast]

14. Actually, this makes me think that the baby must NOT be his.

Without a baby, the consequences of an affair are, relatively speaking, kept to a minimum. I don't think he would've been so confident in his Presidential run if he hadn't been confident the baby was not his.

That, combined with his passion for his agenda, drove him. Just IMO.

[LisaM]

11. It does go on every day.

However, with the rightward tilt to our society, we seem to have become less capable of forgiving infidelity, or understanding that this happens in a fairly high percentage of marriages (40%, according to an article I just read from Psychology Today). It doesn't change the fact that Edwards understood poverty issues better than the other candidates. Elizabeth has also apparently known for some time, and is still with him. It's very regrettable. But it happens. I do not feel that I should stand in judgement on someone else's marriage, particularly when that marriage seems by all accounts to be in good shape now. The Edwards have been on an emotional roller coaster for years, losing their son, working hard to have more kids, losing the VP race (especially when it appears Edwards wanted to fight harder), then the breast cancer. These are not REASONS for having an affair, but can certainly be stresses that lead to actions someone might not normally make. Stress is a strange animal.

http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20040726-000013.html

[napi21]

13. Yes, all of those things have cause tremendous stress on both

John & Elizabeth. Sometimes, if you've never been in situations like that, there's no way you can understand who someone could stray. Many times it's nothing more than an escape from the everyday turmoil of your personal life. It rarely, if ever, means that you don't love your partner & your family. It's more like a safety valve on a pressure cooker that allows the high pressure to vent before the pot explodes.

[MonteLukast]

16. Plus, R was the one in love with *him*. Not so much the other way around.

And let's face it: A LOT of us were attracted to him. A LOT of us had our fantasies. I sure did. ;-)

[MonteLukast]

15. That actually makes me more optimistic about their marriage.

It hurts to have to go through it again.

But if they did indeed discuss this among themselves over a year ago, the evidence is there. They've survived. They're still affectionate. They still love each other.

It takes a helluva strong marriage to withstand this. They've already withstood plenty before!

[tama]

17. Yeas, aggravating

There is war in South-Ossetia between Russia and US goon, and it's more important to discuss marital affairs of a has-been politico?

Interesting how DUers criticize the state of news at US corporate media and then act the same...

[MonteLukast]

20. Didn't want him to be VP anyway.

But I sureashell am gonna be mad if this keeps from being AG. :grr:

[NYCGirl]

19. Putting her on the payroll and giving her hundreds of thousands of dollars from

his campaign is a much bigger problem than having sex.

[MonteLukast]

21. That's what really did in Gov. McGreevey, BTW-- not the affair. (nm)

[psychmommy]

22. it's not my place to judge him.

he would still make an awesome attorney general. cheating on his wife doesn't take away from his credentials and experience. it sucks but, if his wife forgave him-that is enough for me. i did not lose respect for president clinton because of the blow job. this is edwards personal family business. folks forgave pres clinton so why are we beating up edwards? he didn't lie under oath. elizabeth has enough to deal with, can we just let this crap go?