Parents who take responsibility for their adult children's bills...

[BuelahWitch]

At what point is an adult child responsible for their own bills? I work in a call center and hassle with parents all the time who want me to discuss Skip and Buffy's financial affairs with them because they're paying the bills. The problem is, their names aren't on the account, and Skip and Buffy failed to give us permission to talk to Mums and Daddums about the bill they ran up. It's one thing when the kid is still in college and 18 or 19, but these "kids" are sometimes over 25, even 30. I guess they still see them as little tykes and not grown people who signed a contract...

[Gormy Cuss]

1. I think it's up to the parents and child

and it's unfortunate that you're caught in the middle.

[seabeyond]

2. i have a brother parents took care of his bills and ooopses ect... guy is 48 and father

is still taking care of him.

ya know

[rwheeler31]

3. Get a different job.

[BuelahWitch]

8. Easy to say, not so easy to do

[Warpy]

4. That's an easy one

Just tell them you are not authorized to discuss the account with anyone whose name is not on it and suggest Buffy and Skip come in to straighten that out, too.

That will get rid of them.

It's nice of parents to run interference for Skip and Buffy if Skip and Buffy really don't understand the financial mess they're in, but you do need to protect Skip and Buffy's financial information no matter who the caller says it is.

[BuelahWitch]

7. I do, and they get pissed

They don't seem to understand privacy issues when the kid signs the contract. One guy today told me, "Good luck getting paid," and slammed the phone down. I want to say, "Good luck to Buffy dealing with creditors when she doesn't pay her bill," but didn't of course.

[Warpy]

33. Their reaction is their problem, really

because they're the ones popping veins all over their skulls.

Sometimes realizing just who has the real problem in this is the first step to being able to shrug it off when you realize it's not yours.

[babylonsister]

5. No point, sounds like. The richer the folks, the older the 'kids'. If

the parents continue to pay because they can, that's their choice. I wonder at what point those 'poor kids' get their own trust fund.

[mcctatas]

6. I guess it is situational...

As an adult, my mom has occasionally helped us with bills, etc. (when my husband got downsized out of his job and I was recovering from surgery) but it was short term and I would pay her back now that we are able (except she won't take my money, she just plans on living with me when she's old and feeble <her phrase, not mine;) )

[BuelahWitch]

10. But it's one thing if they help you out privately with the bills

It's another when a parent calls the company the kid did business with and expects their representative to talk to them as if they and they kid were one person.

[Breeze54]

9. My friend takes care of all her daughter's bills and she's in her 20's.

The daughter was diagnosed with schizophrenia and is in and out of reality, if she forgets
her meds and forgets to pay the light bill for the apt her parents rented for her.

[BuelahWitch]

18. Then if the parent's rented it, who signed the lease?

You people are reading things into what I wrote that aren't there. The kid who started the bill signed a contract. Said kid is 25 years old (sometimes more). If said kid has a medical problem, hopefully the parent knows to get power of attorney or some such thing (which we do honor). No, what i'm talking about is when Mom opens Junior's bills and tries to discuss an account that Junior has signed for while Junior is off backpacking in Colorado for the summer. Mom is pissed because I won't break privacy rules and talk about Junior's account with her, even though "she pays the bills." Well then she should have signed the damn contract too...

[Breeze54]

32. well; maybe he asked her to do that and couldn't call to give permission?

:shrug:

Maybe she was lending him some money? Maybe she was trying to help him out and couldn't reach him
because he's off backpacking in the wilderness? Utility companies do it all the time. They take payments
on accounts, from a 3rd party over the phone, without verbal or written permission.

[iamthebandfanman]

11. well, given the current situation

of our economy and country...
id imagine its pretty acceptable...

and why itd be such a big issue to anybody is beyond me.

how about you stay outa peoples private lifes? if parents want to help their kids, whom they love and want to see survive in this messed up world, i say more power to them... so long as the kids are attempting to do things.

this is a different era and age....

[BuelahWitch]

12. It's called "privacy" honey

I can't discuss one person's account with another person unless the account owner gives the ok. That's my job.
Maybe you need to go back to school and learn about some grammar rules (caps at the beginning of a sentence are a good thing too). so that your posts don't look like they're typed by a 12 year old...

[iamthebandfanman]

22. lol

well lock me up grammar police.

id rather type like a 12 year old than have the attitude of one.

writing skills do not make you superior to someone, regardless of what youve told yourself.

instead of attacking me, stick to the subject would ya ?

maybe thats to complex for ya.

good on ya tho, thatll teach me to reply to an arrogant know it all..
ill be sure to keep what ive learned here today in mind the next time i read any of your posts.. thanks!

lol

p.s.
im sorry ive dashed your love for spell check. ill be sure to use it more often so it doesnt feel unwanted.

[Drunken Irishman]

13. I still need help from my mom.

It's sad, but true. Gas is killing me, especially since my work is like 20 miles from my house.

:(

I guess I'm a loser, eh?

[BuelahWitch]

14. But does she open your bills and call the companies who bill you?

Or help you privately? I'm talking about the people that think they need to take over their kid's accounts, not people giving money to help with bills.

[Drunken Irishman]

16. Oh, no.

Thankfully. :D

[BuelahWitch]

21. Then your situation is different

:hug: Don't call yourself a loser.

[ingac70]

17. Does your mom call your creditors bitching?

If not, then I would say you are NOT a loser.

[CountAllVotes]

19. you are not a loser

My parents helped me on and off throughout their lives. In the end, it fell upon me to find and obtain the help and the kind of care they needed.

I think this is what families are all about. One member helps the other if the need is there.

However, there are these types that milk mom & dad dry having them pay for things that are not necessary in some cases.

I don't think you are one of them however. I bet you'd be there for your mom wouldn't you?

Having children, especially these days is a tremendous responsibility. I'm sure your mom sees this and if she is a position to help, I'm sure she wants to help. :)

[Redstone]

15. are idiots.

Redstone

[BuelahWitch]

20. Thanks

:thumbsup:

[tularetom]

23. Your kids are always your kids but that's ridiculous

Both of our kids moved back with us after we thought we had gotten rid of them (Son after a bad career decision, daughter after a marital separation) but both got their shit together and left again.

They are now in their 40's but if they needed us we'd be there for them. But we'd never intercede on their behalf in any business or personal agreement they made.

[Speck Tater]

24. Once my kids were on their own...

I helped on many occasions with food and shelter, but NOT with bills. I did once make the mistake of making my daughter's car payment for her for a couple months, but after that she EXPECTED me to go on making her car payments for her while she ran up huge credit card bills on unnecessary crap. So I did what I had to do; finally give her the opportunity to learn personal financial responsibility.

[rwheeler31]

25. You are in the most hellish job in America.

[JI7]

26. the parents should put it in their name

if they want to know.

[ecstatic]

27. 30 is the new 21!!!! nt

[TwixVoy]

28. Can you explain more?

Are you working for a collection agency?

So you are saying you have to call 20+ year olds who (I am assuming) have credit card collections and the parents try to handle it for them?

[Lyric]

29. I wish I had parents who were well-off enough to concern themselves with my bills.

It wouldn't hurt our society to get back to the days when families worked together to keep each other going--financially and otherwise.

And for people that don't HAVE the support network of a family, the government should step in and provide at LEAST a guaranteed basic support system. It's to everyone's benefit, because people who aren't terrified about where their next meal is coming from are less likely to commit a crime out of desperation, or agree to work for some ridiculously low wage because *some* money is better than *no* money.

[Berry Cool]

30. There's a difference between parents helping their adult children out financially

and essentially running their finances for them...especially when the kids are in their 20s and not struggling financially other than the problems they create for themselves...when Mums and Daddums are still handling the bill paying after college, that's called "helicopter parenting."

[Mr. Blonde]

31. I'm starting at a new school in the fall

but have been overseas and unable to handle a lot of the stuff involved with getting the school all the information they want. So I had my mom call them about it. She explained the situation and the lady said oh don't worry we have lots of parents call. I was very surprised when my mom told me that. This is pretty basic stuff like getting a transcript. Sometimes I am thankful that both of my parents had to work a lot and I had to grow up and take care of stuff on my own if I wanted it handled.