Mary - the transsexual

[The Straight Story]

I won't reveal Mary's last name, as it is someone some of us may know. Especially if you are in the computer field (mainly in the Unix field, not windoze).

I met her about 4 years ago when she came out to my site to install a server. She had left for a time, when she was male, and came back as a female (the company I work for is pretty good about these things). It shocked a lot of people that knew her before. But I had never known her until the day I met her (though I knew of her).

I could tell she had been a man previously, but that was not really an issue here. Her reputation preceded her and I respected her unix skills. I was able to get her in and to work out her server placement, set up, etc.

As the days turned into months we were in contact more and more over issues, new servers, parts, etc. I would call her at home, she would call me, we would bitch about processes and security, then hammer out ways to get around the issues.

She has written papers that make my head spin with their technical details, and I am about as nerdy as they come (own my own sun servers, etc). She has published papers on unix stuff, and knows her shit.

Mary was once married. With kids. Thankfully it all worked out OK for her, her X is understanding. But one cannot imagine the hell she must have went through over the years leading a double life. I have thought about interviewing her and posting it here, I may well do so before long as she and I have a lot to catch up on (I moved to a different dept and do programming now and not management, I needed to get away from all that for my wife's sake and to spend time at home caring for her).

We might get down on corporations and America at times - but I have seen progress here I have not seen everywhere else. Mary is doing well, and part of why she is is because the company we work for got off it's ass and took issues seriously.

Part of being an American is freedom to be who you are. Whether you are a straight white man, or a transsexual, or black, etc. And the freedom to not be fucked over because you are who you are. You might be poor with bad credit, you could be handicapped, you might be a lutheran, or an atheist. The ideal is that we treat people equally when it comes down to the brass tacks of it all. In this sense, I think capitalism has a plus - when companies look for the best people based on talent and not on color/sex/orientation/etc.

And companies have done a better job at this than our government. My friend and once coworker (until I moved to a different dept) was a translator for the govt (he speaks and reads French, Arabic, English) but was fired because he is also gay. Chevy is a hard working guy who had a lot to offer this country - and now he works for a corporation that does not care he is gay. Mary could probably help the government with their issues on the computer side - but they won't be hiring her into any military computer positions because she was once a he.

Let's hope our newly elected officials fix this problem.

[Hekate]

1. Thanks for this. I, too, hope for the day our government gets it

As I've mentioned here before, I was an Affirmative Action Commissioner for my county for about 12 years, so I'm a believer. I saw the progress the county-as-employer made -- and I'm sad about the backlash among misinformed voters.

Maybe with a Democratic president and Congress we can regain some of that lost ground, maybe we can at a minimum get rid of that stupid "don't ask don't tell" regulation in the military.

How are you doing, btw? Have you made the transition to Bakersfield yet?

Be well,

Hekate

[The Straight Story]

2. will be moving at end of this month

I hope. truck to move costs a ton, etc. But aiming to be there April 1-2.

[Hekate]

3. Best of luck to your family

:hug:

Hekate

[TheWatcher]

4. Thank you for posting this.

Transgender Issues don't get touched very much even on DU, and I am very glad to see this post.

I wouldn't hold your breath on many of our newly elected officials giving people like Mary, or me for that matter much attention.

I hope one day our country will evolve to the point where people like us are not an issue at all, but accepted.

We are human just like everyone else.

And many of us are damn good ones.

[Name removed]

5. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[myrna minx]

6. ?

:wtf: If you knew a transsexual personally, you would "laugh your ass off"? I don't understand your post at all.

[Bluebear]

7. I bet you've never seen ANYBODY naked. nt

[helderheid]

9. IF you were KKK?

:rofl:

Don't let the door hit ya on the way out!

:hi:

[terrya]

10. "I'd probably laugh my ass off at one if I knew"

That's the stupidest, most brain dead thing I've read here in a long, long time.

Show us a picture of yourself so we can laugh at you.

[NMMNG]

11. I'll bet you go through a lot of band-aids

You know, for all of the abrasions on your knuckles. :popcorn:

[helderheid]

12. What do you expect from someone named "EvilAl"? In Canada. Poor booby.

[Der Blaue Engel]

14. That's the best ya got, huh?

:eyes:

:boring:

[spinbaby]

8. I've only met two transexuals

And they were both exceptionally bright and personable people. In other words, they were just the sort of person you'd want to hire.

[sniffa]

13. .

[Maat]

15. Thanks for the post, Straight Story.

Be well, and let us know after you have made it to California. I'm way down an hour north of San Diego, but maybe we can all meet up one day.

I would love to read Mary's story (either with her writing a column, or as expressed through you).

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

16. Wait, your Arabic translator friend was fired from the US government for being gay?

I hope he received a nice settlement from the lawsuit, because sexual orientation is a protected group as far as federal employees go.

[Cerridwen]

17. I'll add my hope to yours.

I look forward to a day, which I hope will happen in my lifetime, in which people are seen as, well, people rather than a category.

We're a funny lot we humans. First we categorize people into groups so we can identify which of them needs "special" legal protections in order to get the protected groups the same rights the rest have, which might have the result of providing equal rights and protections across categories.

I wish we'd just take the shortcut and invoke something like, ya know "all Men are created equal" (yeah, I know the issues with that but changing the text destroys the flow of the sentence) LOL

:toast:

[porphyrian]

18. Some companies, anyway. I'm sure there are fifty negative examples for every "Mary" story.

Change is slow in America, unless it is overnight. Perhaps the rapidly-evolving nature of technology makes IT seem more progressive and accepting of change than other industries. I'm not knocking it, I've just seen a whole lot of ugly.