Jesse Helms, friend of Bono, dead at 86

[meegbear]

Jesse Helms, whose political career spanned over half a century, has departed this mortal coil on one of his favorite days, the fourth of July.

"Jesse loved the fourth of July," said Ned Parsons, spokesman for the Helms estate. "He loved everything about it - the kids, the music, the fried chicken, watermelon, and Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. And he loved setting off fireworks while blasting out some of his beloved U2."

Helms helped put the oppose in opposition leader. During his long career he opposed many things. He fought against the Civil Rights movement, and when that didn't work out for him, he fought against Martin Luther King day. He fought against homosexuals, even disparaging the use of the word gay because "there's nothing gay about them". He fought against foreign aid, against Marilyn Manson, against modern art, Bill Clinton, and everything else that stuck in his craw. In the end, however, Helms will probably be best remembered for his friendship with Bono.

"Those two were like peas in a pod," says bassist Adam Clayton. "I never could figure it out, but after a while I just got used to seeing the old guy around. He was in the studio half the time when we were recording 'Achtung Baby', played tambourine on a couple of tracks. Used to really bug me. I'd say, come on Bono, lets go grab a couple pints, and don't you know, there'd be that prick Jesse, tagging along. No disrespect to the deceased, but I'm kind of glad the old bugger is gone."

http://ristocrats.blogspot.com/2008/07/jesse-helms-friend-of-bono-dead-at-86.html

[DS1]

1. hahah, great last paragraph

[bkcc]

9. Agreed. I laughed out loud as I read it. n/t

[SacredCow]

2. If I'm not mistaken....

they were in a neck and neck race for the title of world's largest crap... both around 80 courics, or so. But there was an elgibility question, as Helms' crap came from his mouth and 16th century mind....

[newmajority]

3. Bono tries to find the good in everyone

In this case, he must have tried a Hell of a lot harder than I ever would have. :puke:

And if Jesse was around in the Achtung Baby days, you gotta wonder what he thought about the "One" video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFWPeVfWB9o

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

4. RIP, sweet prince.

I'm sure he's fellating Stonewall Jackson in heaven right now.

[Kelvin Mace]

5. I had the hardest time coming up with an appropriate title for his

obit on my blog. My first inclination was "Homophobic, racist, corpse-fucker, Jesse Helms dead at 86"

Then "Evil incarnate finally chokes on own poison".

But I finally settled for "Racist, homophobe Jesse Helms is dead at last, dead at last, thank God almighty, dead at last"

http://www.thoughtcrimes.org/s9/index.php?/archives/2522-Racist,-homophobe-Jesse-Helms-is-dead-at-last,-dead-at-last,-thank-God-almighty,-dead-at-last.html

[Dukkha]

6. Bono's worst collaboration ever

and I am including his painfull "duet" with Sinatra.

[ShaneGR]

7. I have a hard time believing the U2 Basist would say that... link to the quote somewhere?

That's a very harsh quote, even with the no disprespect part.

Incidentally, I HATED Helms domestic racism and fear mongering politics, but he did sign off on a LOT of money for African Relief... because of Bono.

[The Stranger]

8. Bono is pathetic. Why doesn't he have an anti-war concert to rally for peace?

Can you imagine how that would rally the movement?

Oh wait. That would require piece of shit Bono to take a stand that actually carries some risk.

Never mind.

[RandomKoolzip]

10. Can you believe it? "Gullible" isn't in the dictionary!

It's true!

[Wiley50]

11. 3 Days Later, Jesse Helms Is Still Dead. Jesse Was No Jesus Christ. n/t