Another Father's Day, another chance to recall my own. Such as he was.

[Faygo Kid]

I don't know exactly why, but somehow this year I feel like sharing my story. I am reminded this Father's Day yet again of my own father, who beat my mother in front of me and my younger brother until the cops arrived (this happened often). Then he disappeared when I was 9. Of course, Mom never saw a dime of child support.

Then out of the blue, when I was 22, I got a phone call from him. My brother and I - more out of curiosity than anything - went and saw him. It was just weird, although he was on his best behavior. We chatted awkwardly and left after less than an hour. My brother (two years younger) was cold as ice; I felt sympathy for a life wasted.

We talked in vague terms of a picnic sometime, but nothing came of it. Six months later, I got a call from the county coroner. He had died of a sudden heart attack. Could I come down to the morgue and identify his body?

I did. And that was the extent of my relationship with my father. I then had to straighten out his affairs. Wasn't hard. His possessions were few (he lived on his WWII veteran's pension). His wallet had all his money in it - 20 bucks.

And it was also filled with pictures of my brother and me as little kids.

So all of you with fathers who worked hard for you might want to give them a special thanks today, even given their multiple and sometimes mystifying imperfections.

My grown daughter did that for me today. My father in a backhanded fashion taught me the importance of fatherhood, and I took that lesson to heart.

Happy Father's Day, my fellow devoted Dads.

[Frustratedlady]

1. Happy Father's Day, Faygokid

Your story is not that unusual, sad as that may be. I'm so glad you were able to learn and grow from that experience. He sounded like a very sad man.

To carry those photos with him for all those years must have given you some answers to the questions that went through your minds while you were growing up and filled that empty space within your heart.

Thank you for telling your story. It was very touching.

[Faygo Kid]

3. Thanks. You are right - there are many such stories.

Way too many.

Sure made me a determined Dad. I screwed up more often than I can count, but we sure had fun together (especially Christmas). Daughter is 31 and lives in another state, but I am thankful for e-mail, so I can continue to keep in touch (and occasionally drive her nuts. Like a good Dad is expected to do).

:pals:

[trof]

2. Mine bailed when I was 4. 'Casualty of war'.

Long story, but he and my mom divorced in 1945.
I never saw him again.

Today my 36 years old daughter wished me a happy Fathers' day.
I told her I was very proud to be her father.

[Faygo Kid]

4. Great story. Similar happy ending.

Mine is 31, and in another state, but I got my good wishes from her today, too.

Gotta love happy endings.

[trof]

5. Our daughter lives 1500 miles from us.

And I hate that.
But we're at her house now.
Here for Father's day and the birthdays.

Our granddaughter celebrated her 1st birthday on the 5th.
Our grandson will be 6 on the 22nd.
Life is good.
:-)

[Faygo Kid]

7. Congratulations. Never take it for granted.

The only thing you can be sure of in life, is that it will change.

So always, always treasure those family moments and memories. I know I do.

[Mojorabbit]

6. I am sorry your father was as he was. I wish life was fair. Sigh

I wish everyone could have had a Dad like mine.
I loved him. He was my John Wayne. Quiet and very wise. He was a republican of the classic type. He voted his last time for Kerry, his first Dem vote since RFK. He told me Bush was crazy. He died a bit over a year ago and I miss him terribly. We used to have the liveliest political discussions and I could call him for advice on anything and we would talk for hours about anything and everything. I still see articles and think, "Dad would love this" and prepare to send him an email and then remember....He is gone. So in his memory, I wish you a very happy father's day.

[Faygo Kid]

8. Thank you. I am humbled. I DID have a great father-in-law, and I miss him, too.

Divorced his daughter 14 years ago, but she and I share our own (grown) daughter, and that's cool. But for 30 years, I had the pleasure of having a wonderful father-in-law, until his sudden death at 81 in 2006. And yes, that includes many years after the divorce; we remained great friends until the end. He was a raging liberal college professor and a Tigers fan who played the cello, spoke fluent Russian and cheated at tennis. I miss him still, but am grateful for all that time we had together.

I was too old (mid-20s) to actually have a "surrogate Dad" when we met, but we were great friends, and that was good enough for me.