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[helderheid]

[Hydra]

1. "I'm tired of giving public appearances...

can't I just go curl up with a bottle?"

[spanone]

2. 'even i hate me'

[BurtWorm]

3. "Man, I could use a pretzel."

[Warpy]

4. *hic*

[no_hypocrisy]

5. Asleep at the wheel -- again.

[BlueJac]

6. Beer me

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

7. The Lost Weekend that lasted eight years

"I keep seein' little critters runnin' around. I think a little Bugs Bunny just ran in one ear and out the other."

[lame54]

8. "Can I quit bein' prezdent now?"

[book_worm]

9. "ladies and gentlemen I have to fart."

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

10. "Has anybody seen my drool cup?"

:headbang:

[AlCzervik]

11. "It's hard out here for a chimp"

[Canuckistanian]

12. It's hard wor... Awww, who am I kidding?

Get me outta here, Dick. There's a bottle of Jack with my name on it.

[jimshoes]

13. Nobody likes me

everybody hates me,
Guess I'll go eat worms,
Long, thin, slimy ones; Short, fat, juicy ones,
Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms.

[Brigid]

16. Here's the version my dad taught me:

Nobody likes me
Everybody hates me
Guess I'll go eat worms
Great big fat ones
Great big juicy ones
Worms that wiggle and squirm

[Brigid]

14. Nobody can put enough lipstick on this pig.

[eppur_se_muova]

15. "Time for you to go."