Want to really irritate conservatives? "Defend" McCain

[2008]

DISCLAIMER: This is a game called SCREW WITH THE CONSERVATIVE. I have absolutely no love for John McCain, and (especially after seeing last night's speeches) I am ecstatic on two fronts: that Barack Obama is our nominee, and that he's running against a fool like McCain.

Want to really irritate conservatives? "Defend" McCain

I was in the same room last night with a "real" conservative while McCain's speech was airing. By "real" conservative, I mean the kind that is very upset that McCain won the R nom because he thinks McCain isn't conservative enough.

The RWer next to me complained about all of McCain's most obvious faults as a candidate, faults that were being magnified more than ever before, right in front of his eyes, on live television.

It was easily the worst speech I've ever seen McCain give, and, to make things worse (for him), his most important so far. I didn't have to ask the RWer what he thought of it.

RWer complained about McCain's rigid stance, his fake laugh and smile, the poor delivery, and the fact that he was reading the teleprompter. RWer was clearly embarrassed.

I decided I'd try to make him feel a little better about McCain (heh heh) because, as a liberal, I hate to see the weak suffer.

"He seems like a nice enough guy, though," I said. RWer simmered at that, and turned up the volume of his criticism.

"But," I continued, "isn't this a huge step up from Bush, the way McCain can speak in complete sentences, and doesn't get confused, or make up words like misunderestimate?"

That dug right into the center of RWer's psyche. This particular RWer had, on many occasions, professed pride in his 2000 and 2004 GW votes, but has fallen silent on the man over the past two years (for reasons that are so obvious, I haven't needed to ask him why).

He lit into McCain again, complaining about what an uneven match this will be and praising Obama's charisma and oratory skills. He derided McCain for being an "old fuddy duddy" and looking like the heartburn he was experiencing was preventing him from fully expressing his disappointment.

"Remember, though, that most Republicans will vote for any candidate with an R next to the name, regardless of how bad that candidate is," I said, trying again to make him feel "better" but all the while twisting the knife because, well, I guess because it's just so damn easy, and because McCain's speech was so bad that this "help the depressed RWer" game was so much more interesting by comparison.

"And at least this one comes across as kind and thoughtful," I continued. "He reminds me of a nice old grandpa, someone you can trust. Bush came across as a pretty untrustworthy guy to me, and Republicans turned out in droves to support him. Seriously, I don't think you have anything to worry about. Republicans vote for Republicans. There's no other way to explain 2004, which should have been a landslide for Kerry."

"Not after the condition Bush has left this country in," RWer argued. "This time, we needed the strongest possible candidate, and we got the weakest. We needed a real conservative, and we got half a liberal instead."

"I guess that's why I kind of like McCain," I said.* "I don't agree with him on a lot of the issues, but he seems to share quite a few of the same liberal positions I have." (Don't ask me what those are. I was parroting criticisms I've heard from the right, that McCain is too liberal.)

RWer was grinding his fingernails into his knuckles and starting darkly at the screen.

"I've heard Obama described as a 'crossover' candidate, too," RWer said, "and in a race between two crossover centrists, who's going to win? The one who puts people to sleep, or the one who comes across as a combination of JFK and Martin Luther King and Lincoln?"

:party:

And there was just nothing more I could do to console him. He was actually more pissed off than before I started.

:spray:

I guess I'm just not very good at helping conservatives.

:rofl:

* please see disclaimer (top of post)

[ZombieHorde]

1. Bwahahahaha!

Oh! and one more thing, I refuse to read your disclaimer so....

GO BACK TO FREEPERVILE YOU FREEPING FREEPER!!11111!!!!!!!1111!

[2008]

5. I spelt that disclamer crectly

That should encategoracly proove I'm no freeper

[izquierdista]

2. You should have asked

About illegal immigration. Asking a constipated about McCain's position about immigration is like taking a cheese grater and going back and forth across their ears. Guaranteed to burst a blood vessel. :rofl:

[2008]

4. But the man was in PAIN!

:rofl:

[Warpy]

3. Driving them to vote for Barr isn't a good idea, either

although some of them aint that smart and will probably just sit this one out rather than vote for some librul in their own party.

It certainly adds to their confusion and I guess it's entertaining to watch simpletons furrow their brows and try to fire that one synapse they have.

[2008]

8. Barr might bleed a lot of votes from them

Pro fiscal responsibility, pro constitutional rights. A considerable percentage of conservatives might vote for him. He could be their Nader, depending on how well he delivers his message.

[Warpy]

9. He could also be ours

An ACLU civil libertarian, he could attract the voters who will never vote for a black man or a woman but who don't want to vote for 4 more years of the screwing over the GOP has given them.

My guess it's going to be a race between Obama and Barr this time around. The only question will be which party casts the most protest votes over a candidate who is unpalatable to them.

[Fly by night]

16. Barr is also now strongly against the war on (some) drugs, which might also draw some votes.

Barr has been serving as a spokesman for the Marijuana Policy Project for the past few years.

[Mountainman]

6. What is so funny to me is that the conservatives believe in their ideology so much that they can't

see the reality of it's results. Their answer to all the problems cause by the conservative revolution is poor on a little more conservatism and everything will be ok.

[2008]

7. Reminds me of a girlfriend who once asked me...

"Didn't your mom, when she was helping you with a burn or cut or scape, ever explain why she was doing what she was doing?" She was asking me this question because she caught me putting baby powder on a severe sunburn.

Dry, burning skin? Add baby powder!
Conservative policies destroying your country? Add more conservatism!

[DCKit]

10. Thanks for the tips, an exhaustive list of backhanded compliments would help this thread along.

1) But he looks pretty good for his age. What is he, 78 now?
2) He speaks English way better than Bush, but he needs to get better fitting dentures.
3) He's done so much for the Veterans.
4) It's great to see one of our WWII vets giving it a shot.
5) Yeah, Cindy's great, but I wonder what happened to his first wife.
6) Nah, he HATES lobbyists, that's why he's got so many in his campaign. "Keep your friends close, your enemies closer".
7) Joe LIEberman? Yeah, even the Democrats love "librul McCain".

[Ishoutandscream2]

12. LOL at 1, 2, 4, and 5

Adding those to my repertoire.

[central scrutinizer]

15. more

I cannot recommend him too highly nor say enough good things about him.

There is no other person with whom I can adequately compare him.

His political history is the sort you don’t expect to see nowadays and in it he has clearly demonstrated his complete capabilities.

The depth of his knowledge will surprise you.

You will be amazed at the quantity and quality of the questions he asks.

You will indeed be fortunate if you can get him to work for you.

[Brigid]

11. You sound like Mike Royko!

:rofl:

[2008]

19. As a narcissist, I have no other choice than to...

...take that as a supreme compliment.

:bounce:

[Brigid]

23. If you've never heard of Royko, here ya go:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Royko

He's been gone for over a decade now, but he was an institution in Chicago. My local paper used to reprint his column three times a a week. He would have had a field day with the Bush regime.

[tom_paine]

13. Excellent. K & R.

[crispini]

14. hee

hee hee hee hee

[localroger]

17. * taking notes *

Lots of people like that down here in LA / MS etc. Can't let them stay dejected :-)

[Median Democrat]

18. Defend McCain With These McCain Quotes. . .

Conservatives, of course, are irate about McCain self-annointing himself as Bush's biggest critic. So, defend McCain with these wonderful McCain quotes, which reveal the simple fact that John McCain is a political opportunist. McCain can be Bush's biggest critic and biggest supporter depending on his mood at the moment:

How would American troops be greeted?: "I believe... that the Iraqi people will greet us as liberators." (March 20, 2003)

Did Saddam Hussein have a nuclear program that posed an imminent threat to the United States?: "Saddam Hussein is on a crash course to construct a nuclear weapon." (October 10, 2002)

Will a war with Iraq be long or short?: "This conflict is... going to be relatively short." (March 23, 2003)

How is the war going?: "I would argue that the next three to six months will be critical." (September 10, 2003)

How is it going (almost two months later, from the war's "greatest critic")? "I think the initial phases of were so spectacularly successful that it took us all by surprise." (October 31, 2003)

Is this war really necessary?: "Only the most deluded of us could doubt the necessity of this war." (August 30, 2004)

How is it going? (Recurring question for the war's "greatest critic"): "We will probably see significant progress in the next six months to a year." (December 4, 2005)

Will the President's "surge" of troops into Baghdad and surrounding areas that the senator had been calling for finally make the difference?: "We can know fairly well in a few months." (February 4, 2007)

[Left coast liberal]

20. Sounds like fun. Let the good times roll!

[lonestarnot]

21. You sooooo bad!

:evilgrin:

[old mark]

22. "You know, he's really not as dumb...

...as Bush."

mark