From Pottersville, a blog I've been reading for a long time, that's one of my favorites:http://welcome-to-pottersville.blogspot.com/2008/06/ten-things-republicans-should-never-say.htmlThe Ten Things Republicans Should Never Say to DemocratsWe’ve all seen the battle of the sexes lists, such as the 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Woman and the inevitable rejoinder, the 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Guy.
Yet, no one has, to my knowledge, ever compiled a list of things party members should never say to each other, although some wingnuts have made grammatically and factually abortive attempts in that vein.
So here’s my list of the Top Ten Things Republicans Should Never Say to Democrats:
10) “Why Can’t You Reach Across the Aisle and Work With Us In a Bipartisan Fashion Like Joe Lieberman?”
OK, first off, Lieberman is no more a Democrat than Richard Viguerie. Lieberman is like a faux punk rocker who wears clip-on body jewelry. He’s the embedded mole in the Senate sent to us from the Knesset and the Likud party. Caucusing with the Democrats while voting with you maniacs at every opportunity up to the point of publicly endorsing John McCain is so openly hypocritical that I’m amazed members of both parties don’t throw this simpering, skeletal cocksucker a boot camp blanket party.
Secondly, any naïve attempt to reach across your side of the aisle will only result in getting pulled over into your turf whereby any poor, uninitiated naif will get mercilessly rogered and shagged to the point of fatal anal hemorrhaging. It’s notable that Republicans only call for bipartisanship when they’re down on one or (as in the case of Larry Craig and Mark Foley) both knees.
9) “Where’s Your Flag Lapel Pin?”
I’m using it to pop Republican delusions that you support the troops while blaming them for their own squalor when scandals like Walter Reed come out, when you deny them adequate body armor and steel plating year after year, when you vote to cut their VA funding, make their death benefits conditional on wearing the shoddy armor you do give them, when you vote to condemn them in Iraq year after year.
If all Republicans donated and melted down their flag lapel pins it would still be inadequate for body armor for even one soldier because they tend to be made of gold, a soft medal useless against bullets. Besides, wearing a tiny flag on your lapel only gives you the appearance of minimizing the value of the American government and the role of the Constitution.
Here’s a couple of ideas since you “support” Iraq and the troops you’ve condemned to that arid sinkhole: Switch from American to Iraqi flag lapel pins. Or rather, that’s if your wonderful manufactured democracy created at the point of over 150,000 guns can get around to voting on a temporary Iraqi flag. Or you could supplant the American flag with the face of a fallen service member. I realize that’s over 4100 different varieties and that there are just barely over 250 Republicans in Congress but if you throw in the Bush White House, State Department, Pentagon and the Department of Justice, maybe you’ll only have to pull double duty and wear one face on each lapel.
8) “It’s the Fault of the Liberal Media!”
Liberal media? What liberal media would that be? An overrated blog where literally every other post consists of “Heh, indeedy”? Free Speech TV, which is available on channel 9995 and has an operating budget smaller than most high school cable trust shows? The liberal media that never challenged any administration official from Bush on down when they tried to tie Saddam to al Qaeda and 9/11 and treats the administration’s most overtly fascist agendas as if they, at best, present stiff constitutional challenges? You mean that liberal media?
7) “Barack Obama is (Insert any unchallenged lie here)…”
Black? Muslim? Even if he was (and he’s neither), then so what? What else have you got?
Barack Obama wouldn’t be the lightning rod for stupidity that he is if he wasn’t mulatto. If they demonized Kennedy 48 years ago for being a Catholic, they’ve made Obama the AntiChrist over a religion that he isn't and for his skin color. What amazes me is the sheer number of Republican chain emails that have circulated about Obama faster than Canadian pharmacy and Swiss Rolex watch spam. They blame Obama for being everything to being educated at a Muslim madrassa as a child to his Kenyan father leaving his white mother and being raised by his white grandparents in Kansas. None of which he had any power over (even if half of it was true, which it isn’t) because he was a child and we’re still left with the question of, How is it germane to this election and indicative of his fitness to lead?
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5) “But… but… Bill Clinton!”
This, by rights, ought to be the unholiest of unholies but Bill’s snarling at the press on behalf of his wife has burned up whatever little moral currency he may’ve had before Hillary threw her jester cap in the ring. So I’m moving it down to the middle of the list.
Bill may have had a blow job once or twice but do you really want me to enumerate how many Republicans just from that point on, starting with Gingrich, whose own mistress was even younger than Monica, have cheated on their wives?
Oh, it’s different because he lied about a family matter to a grand jury? Well, then let’s hold grand jury investigations about every other scumbag Republican who couldn’t keep his trunk where it belonged. Let’s start with David Vitter, who lied not to a grand jury about a now-dead hooker but the entire fucking state of Louisiana when he was leaving the House to run for the Senate? That is, we can get Ken Starr out of retirement when they stop giving Vitter standing ovations for coming clean only when the proof was about to come out.
4) “America is a Christian Nation Founded on Christian Principles by Christian Men.”
Bullshit. The only concession to religion was in the first amendment of the Bill of Rights, one that states that Americans will have the right to worship any religion without fear of persecution.
George Washington, instead of a God, believed in a spiritual energy, leading me to believe that if he was alive today he’d be running a blog devoted to Star Wars. Thomas Jefferson was a secular Renaissance man who was a scientist, statesman, diplomat, inventor and a polyglot who never wasted an opportunity to lambaste Christianity. Plus, if America is a Christian nation founded on Christian principles then why did the Founding Fathers insist we have separation of church and state?
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