Majority Of People In 'Missing Child' Experiment Don't Notice, Help Girl

[ulysses]

link - http://www.local6.com/news/16124767/detail.html

Ok, I have a question. The father of the young actress who participated in this experiment is quoted thusly:

The experiment and the reactions of shoppers was upsetting and satisfying to the child's real father who watched the experiment from a distance.

"On one hand, I wish someone could have stopped to check on a little girl who was obviously by herself," father Brian Ball said. "But on the other hand, it was nice to see there weren't a lot of men walking up to her and random strangers."

As a male (and therefore a frightening predator), I wonder what I'm to do if I'm ever faced with a situation such as this one. Should I approach the child and risk being automatically mistaken for someone with bad intent? Should I seek out a random female and ask her to intervene? Should I pass by and hope everything turns out for the best?

[undeterred]

1. A woman could have bad intent also.

I think anyone who sees a child in trouble should intervene.

[ulysses]

7. fair points.

Thanks.

[LeftyMom]

2. If you're in a shop, walk her over to customer service.

Most stores have a policy for how to handle kids separated from their parents.

[ulysses]

9. true, but I wonder about the automatic assumption

on her dad's part about her being approached by men, given the "situation".

[rwheeler31]

3. That was a good story to cover.

[TomInTib]

4. You gotta be careful...

On a slightly different note, I was leaving the grocery store the other day when a Golden Retriever wandered up to me.

I reached down and there was a tag with a phone number on his collar, but I had left my cell phone in the Gallery a few hundred yards away.

I couldn't find anyone around to help, so I just grabbed his collar, intending to walk him to the safety of the Gallery and phone his owner.

When we started walking away, I heard this woman start screaming (from maybe 50 yards away), "Oh, my God! That man is stealing my dog!".

So I walked him back to her, and she's getting crazier all the time - just screaming.

I wanted so badly to just slap her fat, blubbering face and ask her just what the hell she was thinking, letting that dog walk loose in the parking lot like that.

She was threatening to call the cops. Kept going on about how I would have stolen her dog if she hadn't stopped me.

[undeterred]

5. I know someone whose sheltie was stolen.

They left the dog in the car on a hot day with the windows cracked- but they really were only going into a store for a 5 minute errand. Someone broke the car window and took the dog during those 5 minutes- they were probably well-intentioned, but it was heartbreaking for the owner.

[undeterred]

6. I found a 3 year old walking down the train tracks

a few years ago. He had on "pullups" and was in the middle of the train tracks, nowhere near a residential street. I only saw him because I happened to be walking instead of driving that day, and I looked both ways when crossing the train tracks.

So I ran a half a block to him and scooped him up- then he was afraid of me. He spoke Spanish and I don't. I took him to the nearest business and we called the police. And while we were calling the train was blowing its whistle. Turns out his 13yr old brother had been left in charge of 3 younger brothers and wasn't doing his job.

[rwheeler31]

8. Who is going to care for these poor kids?

We have been told people are evil for so long. We are too afraid.

[Maddy McCall]

10. I've had this happen in department stores...find a kid obviously without a parent...

What I do is keep an eye on the kid and call the nearest employee over to help.

I think that's what anyone should do, regardless of gender.

As for you, if my son were lost, I'd hope that someone as kind as you would find him and help him.

When it comes down to helping someone, don't ever adjust your behavior based on what people might think...if a kid is in danger, then you know what to do. You're a dad!

[ulysses]

14. I probably worry too much.

Since teachers are mandatory reporters, we get it drilled into us every year about the signs of abuse, neglect, etc. I'm kind of hyper-aware by now. :hi:

[bluestateguy]

11. As a single male who lives alone, I'd be reluctant to get involved too

That's the worst thing to be in cases like this.

[madmusic]

12. Go home, post on DU, and ask them.

Then do what they say.

[Journeyman]

13. I smiled at a young boy (4 years?) as I entered an amusement park snack bar. . .

This was a month or so ago. He asked me where his mom was. I said I didn't know, asked him if I could help him find her. He said he had to find her, then turned, ran across the room and out a back door. I didn't know where the door went but something about the situation didn't seem right. I went after him and found the door led directly into the very busy parking lot. Fortunately, I caught up with him around the corner of the building. I told him I'd help him find his Mom, and offered him a finger for him to hold as we looked for her. We hadn't walked far when his Dad came rushing out the door, looking everywhere. I waved, and the two were reunited. A happy look on both faces, a mumbled thanks, and they were gone, back into the snack bar.

I'm a 50+ white guy. I was with my wife and adult children, but they weren't next to me. All I saw was a child acting in fear who'd put himself in a bad way. Yeah, I had thoughts my actions could be seen poorly, and that a hot headed parent could conceivably assault me out of fear I was a molester. But the child's safety came first and that was the be all, end all of that. Sad that visions of negativity entered my head over what should be seen as a simple, compassionate act, but that's unfortunately the society in which we live. It doesn't have to be so, and to whatever extent I can, I try to live my life and base my actions on what's right and not on how it may seem.

[ulysses]

15. this dad thanks you.

My 2.5 year old has been given to zipping off to parts unknown at times, and it's terrifying, as I'm sure you know.