Headline: Penis theft panic hits city!

[Bluebear]

Well this is...unusual.


KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.

Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN2319603620080423

[leftofcool]

1. Gee! One wonders if they can work magic for the opposite effect?

Think of the men who would line up for this.

[Olney Blue]

2. Thought this was an anti-Hillary thread....

:)

[bronxiteforever]

3. Didn't know the President was kidnapped

:evilgrin:

[Solly Mack]

4. For $19.99 - you can be saved from the penis snatchers

and if you act now, I'll give you two - that's TWO - penis snatching cures for the price of one!

You heard me right! 2 peckers saved for the price of 1!!

You - and a friend - will never again have to worry about anyone wanting your penis!

Act today - to keep your penis in your pants!

CASH ONLY, please.

Send all payments to:

Solly Mack
c/o
B.P.P.O.E.
Best Penis Protection on Earth.

[leftofcool]

5. Shit! I just spit coffee all over my monitor!

I love it

[Solly Mack]

9. Sorry - we only protect the penis

:)

[Bluebear]

6. I worried daily that somebody was about to shrink or steal my penis...

Then I bought Solly Mack's BPPOE. Thanks, Solly Mack!

[leftofcool]

7. Okay, that's it!

Note to self: DO NOT drink coffee while reading early morning penis snatching threads on DU

[Solly Mack]

8. Another satisfied customer keeping his penis in his pants

Otherwise he wouldn't be able to give the product 2 thumbs up.

[Snarkturian Clone]

10. "I swear honey, the sorcerer SHRANK my penis!!!" NT

[Berry Cool]

11. In the case of some men

this would qualify as only petty larceny.

[Bluebear]

14. LMAO!!@!!!

[dysfunctional press]

12. has anyone had to undergo an addadicktomy yet as a result?

:shrug:

[Javaman]

13. not yet, but I have heard of "paste-a-penis" kit