So the new guy at work asked me if I went to

[cboy4]

church yesterday.

RUDE.

I was so offended, that all I could say was, "no."

What could possibly have been his purpose?

To make me feel guilty I didn't go to church on Easter?

I can't explain why this bothers me so much.

[lumberjack_jeff]

Or perhaps just to make conversation.

I wasn't there, so I can't attest to his motivations.

"no" is pretty much how I respond when someone asks if I go to church too, but it doesn't make me feel guilty.

[wuushew]

6. Why is church appropriate for small talk?

It seems talking about the weather would be a far safer bet than wading into the potential mind field which is organized religion.

[seabeyond]

8. some people dont see church and religion as battle ground. lol

like in my area the discussion of church, activity and the social aspect is like talking about the weather

intent matters to me

[lumberjack_jeff]

13. My friends and neighbors all know I'm agnostic.

Nevertheless, I had a nice conversation yesterday afternoon about the projects (woodworking) my neighbor was doing in his church and some of our mutual acquaintances who attend it.

[seabeyond]

18. ya.... those around me know i am a heathen and they love me anyway, lol lol n/t

[El Pinko]

32. I kind of agree. I don't think it's offensive, but it is awfully presumptuous.

I wonder how the co-worker would have felt if it was a heavily Jewish workplace and all the employees assumed he was jewish too and whether he went to temple for Passover or whatever.


I would never assume that anyone was this or that religion without them dropping some clear clues about it.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

192. No more than asking someone if they voted on election day..

[El Pinko]

210. I don't see how it's like that at all...

Most people see voting as a "civic duty". It's rude to ask WHO someone voted for, but not whether or not they voted, IMO...

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

213. Most people see voting as a "civic duty"

And *many* do not, particularly when candidate A is pretty much like candidate B.. Election day is for elections, easter is the holiest day in the Christian faith..

in 2006 43% of eligible Americans voted (80 million)
The average weekly attendance at church for *all* Americans in 43% (107 Million)

As you can imagine many *many* more people go on easter than on a random week, estimates tend to be about 60% of Americans or nearly 160 million! So odds are more people wou work with go to church on easter than vote on election day..

[lumberjack_jeff]

21. Weather? Okay. I'll start. "The weather outside is cold. Global warming is a bunch o' crap."

Every conversation is a minefield if all you can see are mines.

My best friends stopped proselytizing to me years ago. I'm still interested in what they're doing.

[DadOf2LittleAngels]

191. Why is church *not* appropriate for small talk?

I work with a Coptic Christian and for the first six months I was here I assumed he was Muslim because some jerk in the office makes really bad jokes!

I never took the time to ask him so I never got to know a big part of his life. I did not find out until I offered to take the on-call duties from him during Ramadan and I asked him if he would take Christmas from me...

He laughed, completely understood why I was mistaken and even though the Orthodox Coptic faith and my own are *quite* different we enjoy great conversations about our lives in church..

Sorry but some folks you cant know until you know their faith walk, even if that walk is a lack of faith...

[SharonAnn]

202. Try responding "Why would you ask me that?"

[undeterred]

1. He may have just been trying to make conversation.

There are a fair number of people who just go to church on easter and christmas. :shrug:

[Sebass1271]

150. iam one of them.

i think he wanted to create a conversation.. nothing to be alarmed by.. we democrats should be more open minded when questions like these arises.. i mean, aren't we supposed to be the more educated, open minded, informed and have this huuuge "tent"

[lonestarnot]

2. Lemme lend a hand.

Prollee because it is as though you've recognized another theft? They've stolen our Church services. The great deceiver has ruined everything, and at this point it is just as satisfying to practice whatever faith one has from home.

[drmeow]

3. I can't explain why this bothers me so much.

Maybe because:

He made an assumption about you based on his own bias, he invaded your privacy by asking about a personal issue, he brought religion into the workplace where it doesn't belong, he asked a question that implies he's going to be judging you, and it may have felt like the beginnings of proselytizing.

[cboy4]

11. Yea, that's it.

x(

[aikoaiko]

33. It sounded like a simple question....

..unless this is a person you've talked to about NOT discussing religion -- you're reaction seems strange to me.

I'm an atheist living in the deep south -- when people ask me (and they do often), I just say "no" most of the time or, if I am in a playful mood, I say no, I'm a heathen" with a big smile and raise my eyebrows a few times.

[havocmom]

130. And sometimes if feels like people are making a list of who's naughty or nice

OK, that was flip, but the feeling is about the same for some of us when these encounters of the inquisition type happen.

There seems to be a drawing up of lines and there is a part of the population too interested in where everyone else is re religion. It is about to become the new bigotry target, I think, this not going to church.

Have heard several people bringing up being uncomfortable with workplace questions/assumptions and insinuations regarding religious exercise. I deal with it a lot as I live in a very small town and obviously do not go to any of the churches. Add to that my sorta Jewish sounding name and I stand out here abouts. People seem overly curious about what I do for all the big Christian holidays and why I don't even go to church for those.

I would point out what Jesus said about praying, but it wouldn't sink in anyways. Better to just let them wonder. They will come to their own conclusions anyway, no matter what I do or don't say.

But, when it happens, I remember an anthropologist pal of mine who lived in a smallish town in Utah years ago. He tells about the big county map in the sheriff's office, with all the homes of non-mormons marked with red tacks. Said the response time to any emergency seemed to be greatly influenced by whether the emergency happened at a Mormon household or a non-mormon household. Gives me a chill to think we are a nation that is getting so divided, but I fear there are xian factions that are doing just that. The aggressive and presumptive snooping into other people's practices is unnerving and getting worse for many.

[drmeow]

151. Theocracy, here we come n/t

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

179. We all know to never talk about anything other than work, at work.

These are only people we spend 40 - 60 hours a week with, why on earth would we dare ask them a personal question? Congress should pass a law to prevent you from being uncomfortable, ban non-work related speech in the work place. I really hope I don't have to use the sarcasm tag.


David

[drmeow]

217. And, goodness knows,

there are NO other personal topics of conversation that can be discussed at work that do not include potentially judgmental questions about religion - because church is the only social activity that someone might be engaged in. I mean, someone could never ask "did you have a nice weekend" or even "did you have a nice Easter" rather than "did you go to church" because that might allow people to believe that there is an alternative to going to church. Maybe we should make it easier not to offend people by identifying those who don't do an activity so the rest of us don't offend them. I don't know, maybe they could wear something on their clothing ... some sort of patch ... like a scarlet letter or a Star of David or a purple triangle so that the churchgoers would know not to ask them if they went to church and to avoid potentially offending them.

[wuushew]

220. I really never desired to be "chums" with my co-workers

I mean common wisdom dictates that existing friends make for poor choices of room mates and I have found that to be true. If you can't get away time from people it causes stress.

Getting away from work and all the things that it stands for should be the goal. I will never voluntarily put in more than forty hours in a week. The French have the right idea.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

224. I never said find your roommate at work.

Work is a nicer place if you are at least friendly with your co-workers, that's my point. So this fellow asked a question that offended the OP. I bet an answer of, "No, I don't go to church. I drank beer and watched basketball." would have sent the conversation to a place the OP was more comfortable with. Our schedule averages to 52 hours a week on 24 hour shifts. When you are with people 24 hours, it really helps to be friendly. One sign of a good manager is how well he knows his employees and their hobbies. It makes employees feel like the boss cares about them on more than a productivity level, whether he/she does or not. I would have chosen a different question like what did you get into this weekend, but if the OP got offended at a question about church after easter then he better never move to the south. If he does he will be offended often.

David

[ecstatic]

203. Yes. It began as small talk, and ended with a judgment on his part

because the politically correct response wasn't given.

I was asked the same question. The guy was so visibly shocked when I said "no" that I just went ahead and added "I was sick." Oh well.

People go to church once or twice a year and then try to act superior if you too didn't do the same.

[knitter4democracy]

229. Excellent analysis.

I'm a Christian, and I'd be surprised if someone who doesn't know me asked me about church at work. It's not the place.

[defendandprotect]

4. Yes, in a sense it is rude, but once he has ...

brought this into the public arena --- some other time it can give you the opportunity
to introduce some of your own ideas about religion.

[lpbk2713]

5. You could have told him ...

that thanks to the BushCo war on the economy you didn't have any money for Easter clothes or even any money to put in the collection plate so you had to stay home and eat franks and beans for Easter dinner.

[mamalone]

7. Maybe I'm wrong

but I imagine he was just trying to be nice. Going to church on Easter Sunday is kind of a culturally iconic type of thing to do... especially in some social circles. I would kind of put it on the same level as "How was your weekend?"

Of course when people ask me if I went to church, I usually say, "Yes," because that's where I am most Sundays;-)

lumberjack_jeff
BTW, I noticed your ribbon... I have an amazing daughter who happens to have Asperger's, so I have that same ribbon on my vehicle!

[Dora]

9. Because he wanted to know something about you?

A rude question is, "Hey, was that fart yours?" What he asked you was personal, but not rude.

I used to be uncomfortable when people would ask me about my church habits (I don't go, never have, raised godless). Then I realized I had nothing to be uncomfortable about, and if their ulterior motive is to invite me, then I wouldn't worry about it. I've been invited to other people's churches a couple of times now, and I just give them my stock reply, "I do appreciate your kind invitation, but no thank you, I'm not a church-going woman.

Some of us live in godded worlds, other worlds are godless, and miscreants like myself dwell somehwere in the alchemical inbetweens.

[cboy4]

19. Wouldn't a more appropriate way to ask the question been,

"What did you do on Easter?"

And then when I don't mention church, he could say something like, "ah, you don't go to church?"

Something like that?

But to come right out of the gates hit me with, "did you go to church," . . that is inappropriate, IMO.

[Dora]

41. A lot of people lack finesse, diplomacy, tact, etc.

I'm pretty awkward myself sometimes, and I try to be forgiving of others.

[Squatch]

49. Forgiveness is for pussies.

It's far better to answer the question with a "no" and then come bitch about it on an anonymous discussion forum. :eyes:

[Dora]

54. I think somebody needs a hug.

:hug:

[timtom]

65. LOL!!!

Great answer.

[drmeow]

218. Or even simply, "Did you have a nice Easter?" n/t

[stanwyck]

58. Old-fashioned as this will seem to you, it's bad manners

to ask someone a personal question concerning their religion. And it's totally wrong to ask a personal question about religion in the work environment. Jesus admonished his followers to practice their beliefs privately. Religion is supposed to be about your private spirituality and growth. Not a weapon to use against other people. No doubt you find "manners" to be rather quaint. I can understand that sentiment. However, asking someone if they went to church yesterday IS a rude question. To use another old-fashioned term, it's not "good breeding". It shows a lack of respect. Quite frankly, whether or not someone went to church yesterday is none of your business.

[Dora]

72. AMAZING! You know my mind, my very thoughts!

Thanks for the lecture, Mme. Manners, but in my world there's a difference between what is rude and what is curiosity, and there is a vast grey area between the two. My level of happiness goes way up when I remember that people in general aren't self-righteous shitheels with a point to make. We're all human.

The OP said that this came from the newbie in his office. Did it cross your mind or the OP's, that perhaps his coworker is seeking a community? Maybe he wants to be friendly, but doesn't know how? I haven't judged the OP for his harsh assessment of his coworker, neither have I lectured him for what I might perceive as cycnicism and social mistrust. He lives his life, I live mine. Unfortunately, you seem to think the Internet is a great way to assess someone's values (mine, ahem) by virtue of a 50 word post and offer up a lesson on courtesy that wasn't asked for and isn't related to the OP.

Quite frankly, rude is taking it upon oneself to teach another person what "rude" is. And respect is something we give to the world, not demand that the world show it to us.

You wanted to teach me something, and in return, I'll offer you this: Aside from animal husbandry, "good breeding" is a turn of phrase with racist, classist, and elitist connotations. It's a phrase that any person truly concerned with manners that matter will stop using.

[stanwyck]

75. Wow. I had no idea having respect

for other people by not asking intrusive questions is racist and elitist. I totally get the elitist part. But racist? That's a stretch worthy of O'Reilly. Good for you. Here's some homework: Read The Bible. Read the American Constitution. And, of course, read an etiquette book while you're at it. A person's religious beliefs are a private matter. Private. Unless you're the kind of person with no boundaries. In that case, go ahead and ask the new guy if he "got lucky" yesterday. Ask for details.

[Dora]

78. Thank you for reading my post and giving it some thought.

:eyes:

[stanwyck]

82. You're welcome

because you and I are both so very, very polite and "well-bred." (Just like horses.)

[Dora]

96. No, thank you... and the horse you rode in on.

[stanwyck]

140. Oh, snap! n/t

[datasuspect]

212. bravo!

[CTyankee]

102. You are absolutely correct! Brava!

And thank you very much for setting this thread straight!

[drmeow]

219. .

:applause:

[TooBigaTent]

10. It's the assumption that "good" people go to church and believe in god and all the other

crap that forms the good american meme pushed by the right. Like swearing on a bible or running for political office - if you don't, something is wrong with you.

Better beware of this person.

[cboy4]

12. Yea, I see it as a huge red warning flag.

I was really getting along with him well until he had to ask that.

[Captain Sensible]

20. It was just a question......

Until you know him better try not to assume it was sinister.

[cboy4]

23. I work from sinister back to good when I'm asked certain

questions. Sorry.

[mamalone]

16. Why would you think all that...

just because he asked her if she went to church on Easter?

I'm pretty much a warm friendly kind of person. I like to talk to people and make new friends, so I might ask someone a similar question. In all honesty, none of those assumptions you mentioned would ever occur to me. I think it's kinder to give folks the benefit of the doubt... but maybe that's just me.

[LostinVA]

35. My Damien (cboy4) is a he

[mamalone]

48. oops!

sorry:-)

[TooBigaTent]

51. How would you react if I (a vegetarian athiest) asked you, "Did you eat any murdered animal flesh

to celebrate the fictional rising from the dead of your fake messiah?"

I don't mean any insult, I am just asking a friendly, get-to-know-you question from my perspective.

See how that works?

[timtom]

66. Not a good comparison

Original question was just a question.

Yours is inflammatory and strident.

If someone asked me if I went to church yesterday, I'd give a yes or no answer.

If someone asked me a question like yours, I'd back slowly away, look for an exit and be very wary of that person. I would consider them to be armed for bear.

[dmallind]

188. True, but the main gist of that post has validity

Even if the examples don't.

Would there be the same acceptance and assumption of basic friendliness if the question had been "did you go the local atheist club meeting this weekend?" or "Did you attend the Pagan vernal equinox festival this weekend"? (NOTE - I confess to being completely clueless about Paganism and am merely assuming they have some kind of vernal equinox celebration - it's a hypothetical that's all). Heck even "Did you celebrate Passover" or "did you go to the mosque?"

The only way you can say that these are different is by relying on assumptions that Xianity = normal, everything else = weird.

[mamalone]

68. Hmmm.......

Well.... it's not exactly the same due to the phrasing of the questions posed.

"Did you eat any murdered animal flesh?" by including the word "murdered," has within it a value judgment.

and "celebrate the fictional rising of your fake messiah?" by using the words "fake" and "fictional" is confrontational in nature and is disrespectful of the belief system of the person you are addressing.

The original question, "Did you go to church yesterday?" doesn't contain any of those value laden words. In fact, going to church on Easter Sunday is often solely a cultural or family experience. Attending an Easter service doesn't even assume any personal belief in God or Jesus or the spiritual associations of the day.

I'm not trying to be obtuse or anything. I do understand that the original poster was offended, and I see that several other folks would feel similarly. I'm just trying to give the viewpoint of someone who might ask such a question with no ill intent.

[unapatriciated]

152. "Did you eat any murdered animal flesh"

:rofl: I have a co-worker who asks me that every day. No holiday needed. It's working, I haven't had meat in months. I must admit bush's economy gave him an edge.

[Fire_Medic_Dave]

181. I would laugh at you and say yes.

Might even tell you that I killed it myself. Surely you would find that a friendly response to your question. I can already envision a budding friendship developing.


David

[Parche]

14. I agree

I believe in Creator/God, but dont need a church, or a religion to tell me how to pray, what to eat on saturdays or sundays, or what not to eat, or what to wear....

:spray: :hi:

[NeedleCast]

15. I'm curious why it bothers you so much too

Guess I don't see the difference in asking that and asking if you went out for dinner last night. Obviously I wasn't there so maybe it was his tone or something that put you off, but I don't see anything rude about it.

Edit after reading some of the responses: Some of you have very curious ideas as to what invasion of privacy is.

[TooBigaTent]

57. Ask the homeless person on the street, "Did you go out to dinner last night?"

Same assumption. Everyone is like me.

[Raskolnik]

74. I'm not sure you're using an accurate definition of "assumption"

Asking someone "Did you enjoy church yesterday" is an assumption.

Asking someone "Did you go to church yesterday" is a question.

[NeedleCast]

85. It's really not though

Not even a little bit.

[stanwyck]

60. I guess it depends on how you were raised

But asking someone a religious question was simply "not done" among our family and friends. It's not the same as asking if you "went out to dinner last night." Religion is a very loaded subject in our country. People have been discriminated against according to their religion, not their restaurant choice. If you were raised with good manners, and an understanding of Jesus teaching that religion is best practiced privately -- not as a banner of self importance, then you would know that you do not ask a person if he/she went to church yesterday. To do so shows a lack of respect and a sense of self dignity. Asking this question at work is even more inappropriate.
It's none of your business. Literally.

[NeedleCast]

88. I respect that I guess

but this wasn't a religious question, it was a location question. I guess I see a difference between a question like "Do you believe in God" and "Did you go to church yesterday." Neither would offend me, as I'm not an easy person to offend, but I can see where one would be more personal than the other. You say it's a matter of manners and that my be true where you're from but among my associates it's not a particularly taboo subject. I'm a very open person who was raised to ask questions and explore and tend to gravitate towards similar people so someone getting bent out of shape over what I perceive as a pretty harmless question is a little alien to me.

If someone were uncomfortable talking about the subject I'd certainly respect that but I don't think that's something that can be known unless you ask.

[Thickasabrick]

116. You know - it bothers me when people ask me that - but the reason it

bothers me so much I've realized is that I have this "guilt" of not going. There is no rationale for it - other than being raised in a "you must go to church every Sunday" atmosphere.

[proud2BlibKansan]

17. Tell him you spent the morning at the Satanic Temple

and invite him to join you next week.

[lumberjack_jeff]

22. Right. "Nope, the frisbeetarian coven is closed on Easter" n/t

[proud2BlibKansan]

46. LOL

[cboy4]

25. Well I'm gay, so that goes without saying.

:thumbsup:

[The Straight Story]

24. Well...DID you go to church?

I didn't just for the record.

[cboy4]

27. I don't care if you ask me because this is the appropriate

environment.

And I did not either.

[El Pinko]

26. I wouldn't have been offended but I probably would have said...

"why would I have gone to church yesterday when I haven't set foot in one in 20 years except to attend weddings?"

That is a strange thing to ask and to assume that everyone attends church.

Another good reply-

"Of course. The Church of Satan has a special rabbit roast on Easter"

[Rageneau]

28. He thinks he's doing you a kindness.

Many of these churchfolks are pixilated, but they have been taught to sincerely believe that their Loving and Merciful God will send you straight into everlasting torment if you don't toe the line. That line starts at church. People who don't go to church on Easter are people who NEVER go to church, and people who are NEVER go to church are going straight to ... you know.

People like these know they may irritate you a little with their questions, but they honestly believe that your answer may lead them to lead you to a place that later -- ten thousand or so years from now -- you will dearly thank them for leading you.

So don't get angry with the guy. But if he persists, tell him to go to hell.

[Rex]

29. That kinda stuff doesn't bother me.

I love the looks on their faces when I tell them I haven't been to church since I was 5. :)

[Sheets of Easter]

30. What was the context? Was it an honest inquiry, or asked

with a smug tone?

He may have just been asking.

[cboy4]

34. It was the way it was asked....just out of the blue...nothing

leading up to it, such as, "What did you do for Easter?"

[Joe Chi Minh]

31. Why feel uncomfortable about it? If your atheism/agnosticism is in good faith,

you should allow yourself to feel comfortable about it; in which case, you would have chuckled and said something like, "No... church-going isn't my cup of tea. I'm an atheist/agnostic. I presume you did..?"

[cboy4]

36. Yea, maybe I shouldn't feel uncomfortable about it.

I just answered no.

And actually, I am a non-church going Christian.

But I deeply respect my atheist/agnostic friends.

[winter999]

43. Shame. Sounds like you lost an opportunity to say just what you

mentioned.

[skater314159]

80. I think you feel bad for not thinking of what you just said...

Actually, I am a non-church going Christian.

I think that is what you wanted to say, but were so shocked/surprised by the question, that you blanked.

I've had similar experiences in the past, and the feeling I have over not saying what I wanted to, added to the initial surprise of the question being asked really bothered me.

I'd think that mebbe the new guy wants to talk or hang out with you, he is just unsure of himself and possibly socially awkward. I think he may have planned that question (or one similar to it) over the weekend just so he could have something to talk about, and he may be feeling weird because he made you feel uncomfortable - depending on how you reacted to/answered the question.

I'd say just be cool and if he brings it up again (or a similar topic) you will have an opportunity to say what you want, and you can also tell him if you want that you'd rather not discuss faith at work.

[cboy4]

125. Yea, good advice. But actually, I don't really feel like

like explaining to people I don't know very well, why I am a non-church-going Christian.

It will take us down a road that leads to a deep conversation.

I'd much rather talk about the NCAA tourney or what I'm doing this summer.

[bunkerbuster1]

104. Well, it was worth starting the thread.

When I read your OP I thought you were a bit hypersensitive about the question, but at this point, 3/4 of the way through the replies, I've come to realize a bit better why you took some offense.

As it happens, I didn't go to church this Sunday, but most Sundays I do.

[cboy4]

126. Well, I was an Altar Boy who went to Catholic school

for 8 years, so I respect people who go to church.

[Joe Chi Minh]

227. Good to hear on all counts.

[MindPilot]

37. I had several people point out the significance of this past Friday

I would make some off-handed remark like, Oboy it's Friday; are you ready for the weekend? And the response would be "it's GOOD Friday!" To which I would respond "ALL Fridays are good!"

Most took it with the humor with which it was intended, but one woman actually thought I didn't know. Of course unspoken in her condescending explanation that this is EASTER weekend was "you poor pathetic unknowing fool of an Atheist, I can't believe I'm having to explain this to you."

[tanyev]

38. I bet it was a feeler to see if there was fertile ground for some witnessing.

Next time, you can be ready.

[mitchtv]

55. That's the distinct impression I received

Now you know, I am a retired Catholic

[RaleighNCDUer]

39. Want to shut him up?

"No, I was running late, and if I can't be there for the ritual sacrifice, what's the point?"

[otherlander]

40. Meh.

If you had said yes, he probably would have thought, "Oh, cool, we have something in common to talk about." Not such a big deal, really.

[trashcanistanista]

42. You are exactly right.

I would have taken it the same way.

[damntexdem]

44. Well, I couldn't go to church yesterday, because I had to drive 300 miles home.

But I went to church on Easter last year. It was a great service: we poured water over the head of a statue of Buddha.

[B Calm]

45. Tell him you worship the Sun God.

[Bluebear]

47. Say "Yes, at Home Baptist Church"

[Duer 157099]

50. I'm going to be the complete contrarian here

Of course, depending on the tone, this might be completely wrong.

What if *he* was a non-church-goer, and was trying to find a tactful way to find others of similar bent? It's probably perceived as less risky to ask someone if they *did* go to church, rather than if they *didn't* because who wants to offend the self-righteous religious church-goers, you know they'll get up in your face.

Just another way of looking at it.

[Iggo]

52. the appropriate response is...

"Of course not. Why do you ask?"

[Vickers]

53. "HELL fucking no."

:P

[Recursion]

56. This guy at work asked me if I watched the game Sunday

What possibly could have been his purpose?

To make me feel guilty that I'm not a basketball fan?

[stanwyck]

69. Asking someone if they watched the game

is hardly comparable to asking a religious question. People have been discriminated against for centuries for their religious beliefs. For their basketball picks? Not so much.

[skater314159]

84. but Hockey IS my religion... nt

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

196. You're my type of spiritual guide!

Although there was no hockey around here Sunday, so I watched b-ball instead.

[lumpy]

59. Almost as bad as a stranger asking if I believe in God.

An new employee I didn't even know asked me that at work one day. I just looked at her and without a word just went back to working. Freaky.

[Ilsa]

61. "Nah, I don't go much any more, and I always hated

those people who only came to church on Easter."

[LWolf]

62. So one of my students

two weeks ago demanded to know if I was "religious," then stuck his finger in my face and yelled, "Are you a jew?"

You can respond the same way I did.

"None of your business."

[skater314159]

86. That's fucking weird and CREEPY!

:wtf:

Can you drop the student from your class? I had a "drop prosyletizers" policy when I taught.

[LWolf]

90. No.

I can't drop a middle-schooler from my class. Especially since there's only one 7th grade class at my school. I can refer him to the counselor for counseling, which I did.

It was er...unpleasant.

Apparently, the U.S. in the 21st Century finds "in your face" religion to be a social norm. :(

[skater314159]

95. Wow.

I am sooo glad I didn't teach in a HS or MS... hats off to you though. Seriously.



I think folks like you who are "in the trenches" of the modern educational system deserve to get paid and supported like a rockstar.

[cboy4]

103. Oh, thanks for posting a better story than mine.

x(

lol

That's unreal. That little boy is going to be in a lot of fights by the time he's finished with high school.

[LWolf]

105. He will if he doesn't change the path he's currently on.

What's in the air lately, that people need to get in others' faces about religion?

[cboy4]

106. Probably the same thing that's in the air that causes

people not to want DK in the White House. :(

[LWolf]

121. That's a sad thing,

that people are willing to leave the gold by the side of the road while they fight over the tin. :(

[knitter4democracy]

230. That is creepy.

When I taught, I was sexually harrassed and offered drugs, but that one never happened to me.

[Mountainman]

63. I wonder why we feel bad also. Some guy was handing out some pamphlets and asked us

on Sat if we wanted to go to his church. I said no but my wife made an excuse that we were not from there and would not be around to go.

I hate it because I would never go around trying to get people to be what I am. I hate it when they do that to me. Also some church goers feel they are part of the few who have the truth. How can so many different denominations all have the truth?

I really don't like proselytizing at all!

[skater314159]

87. I think of it...

...as "why should ONLY one sect of one denomination of one religion have all the truth"?

But then again, that's why I am a Chaplain - I want to help people find and express whatever they are, however they choose, even if that is "none".

Proselytizing is like war... it has no place where there is peace and love.

[Mountainman]

93. You're a Chaplain? My brother is a Catholic priest. (he doesn't go for little boys)

We don't see eye to eye on things spiritual. I'm Buddhist but we get along great because we accept each other as we are.

[skater314159]

94. That is important...

... accepting each other as you are, that is.

... a book you might want to recommend to him is:

http://books.google.com/books?id=f1ia9GsG_vQC&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_summary_r

It might help him to understand that his faith isn't that different from yours.

[dmallind]

189. Heck I'm a pretty outspoken atheist and even I think it's sad

that you felt the need to add the bit about the boys.

And by that I don't mean that your choice to do so was a sad or otherwise poor one, merely that the circumstances that made it even cross anyone's (heck almost everyone's I would guess) mind are pretty telling and disappointing.

[nadinbrzezinski]

64. Perhaps it was innocent, as in conversation... but

you knew that was coming

More and more people are wearing their religion on their sleeve.

Hell, the bagger at the supermarket made exactly that conversation with me.. I happen to be Jewish, but I decided to just play along... at this point I hope the next president reminds people why religion is a PRIVATE thing

[timtom]

67. Two psychiatrists pass each other on the street.

The one says, "How are you doing today?"

The other says, "WHAT do you MEAN by that??"

[zorahopkins]

70. Report This To Your Boss Or EEO Office

I hope you report this to your boss or EEO Office.

It is one sign of a hostile workplace.

If you don't report it, it will only get worse.

[Recursion]

71. Oh come on, that's as lame as fundies claiming they're "oppressed"

Asking if you went to church on the day that generally has the highest church attendance in the nation does not make a workplace hostile; it's conversation.

[Raskolnik]

73. Please tell me you're not serious.

Please.

[dysfunctional press]

79. i'd be more wary of a co-worker with your attitude, than one who asked if i went to church on easter

and i'm an atheist.

the person is new at work, and just trying to make conversation- there's nothing nefarious in a simple question.

[skater314159]

89. Go to the individual first.

Tell him you were offended. Ask him to not talk about religion any more.

IF (and ONLY IF) he doesn't desist, go to the boss or HR office.

Give him a chance to explain himself, and to understand he caused offense, if you really want him to learn from this.

You don't need to be so reactionary.

[cboy4]

101. Oh, if it had been a situation where he learned I didn't

go to church, and then confronted me and wanted to argue about it.

That's one thing.

He asked me what I thought was an inappropriate question.

It's not the end of the world.

Hopefully my cool response sent the message that there a million other things we can talk about besides something I feel does a whole lot of bad in this world.

[undeterred]

134. ,,,

talk about overreacting! :rofl:

[Raskolnik]

76. Do the people encouraging the OP to respond rudely really act this way in real life

or is this posturing for the sake of the internets?

[cboy4]

100. Yea, of course I would not act rudely....I know what you're

saying, but I also understand why others might not have been as polite as I was.

[Raskolnik]

110. Why? What is offensive about asking someone if they went to church for Easter?

[cboy4]

118. Sigh. Ok, I'll explain it again....Someone who's new at

work -- someone I don't know very well -- came up to me out of the blue while I was sitting at my desk and asked me:

"Hey, did you go to church on Easter?"

Is he a detective with the Church Police Department?

No, he's a new co-worker who shouldn't be asking questions about religion and politics (the two no-no topics)...especially worded that way.

That's accusatory language, even if it wasn't meant to be.

Instead, he should have said, "Hey, how was your Easter? What did you do?"

And then when I don't mention church as one of the activities, he can follow up with, "oh, you don't go to church?" or something like that.

I mean, you really have to be socially retarded to start a new job and go around to people you don't know and ask hot button questions. Right?

I don't go to church for a sad reason, and it is therefore a hot button issue for me -- one that I don't care to discuss with most people, let alone a stranger at the office.

[Raskolnik]

131. Out of the two people in your story, one is socially retarded all right.

Hint: it might be the one that ran to the internet to talk about the *crazy* man at work that asked him if he went to church on Easter.

[cboy4]

146. And you are very socially challenged if you're brain is

having trouble compute this topic -- one that many people agree with me about.

By the way, I brought this up because I belong to a discussion board -- you know, where people come to discuss issues.

I also didn't say he was crazy.

But I'm going to let what you say slide because you're completely hysterical about this for some reason.

I'm getting a lot of right wing fundamentalist christian vibes from you.

[Raskolnik]

158. "I'm getting a lot of right wing fundamentalist christian vibes from you."

It must be exhausting to have such a finely tuned, yet faulty, vibe detector.

[undeterred]

136. I think you're admitting that you're the one who is defensive

and that's good. I can't see that question as meant to be offensive or proselytizing- people who are new at a job are usually just trying to make a few friends, even if their attempts at it are awkward.

[cboy4]

147. Why is making new friends so easy for me? That's because

I don't strike up controversial topics with people.

It seems so elementary.

I don't understand this whole concept of being socially awkward.

Its seems instinctive to me.

[usrbs]

161. That is just as faulty an assumption as your co-worker's

Nothing is more difficult for me than social relations, and my social skills, such as they are today, have developed slowly and painfully, certainly not instinctively.

My son has full-blown Aspergers, which I think is a disability every bit as bad as lacking a limb or a sense - it certainly restricts his life almost as much.

You're very lucky to be able to make new friends easily. It's a gift you should treasure.

I have several religious folk in my workplace. I almost blew one of them's mind away when I revealed I had no belief in a deity. (He has literally met only a handful of admitted non-believers). I like to think I'm educating them by proving one can be moral and caring without following a 2000 year old instruction book.

[datasuspect]

214. nah, it's because their mommies and daddies didn't love them enough as children

and they set out into adulthood with the comprehension and emotional maturity of a teenager, forever railing against perceived injustices.

[IndianaJones]

77. I'd be askin' too. nt.

[cboy4]

124. And I'd be alerting at the same time.

Can I alert at work?

[DesertRat]

81. He was probably just trying to make conversation

Some people are socially awkward around new people and don't know exactly what to say in an attempt to start a conversation. That could be the case in this instance. I've had people that I don't know well ask, "so do you have kids"? I do have kids so I say yes. But what if I wanted them, but couldn't have kids or had recently had a child die? Then that question might seem insensitive, offensive and rude to me.

Is it possible that he didn't intend it the way you took it? I personally don't see it as an offensive question. Perhaps socially inept, but not rude. Since it bothers you so much, is it possible that for some reason you DO feel guilty? He obviously touched a nerve most likely without even knowing he did so. You need to examine your defensive reaction to this and why it bothers you enough to write about it here.

I would just let it go. Peace.

[cboy4]

98. I don't go to church because I have a problem with my

religion, which in Catholicism.

I don't think this is a really good starter conversation in any circumstance.

It has nothing to do with guilt, and more to do with privacy.

One I get to know him better, perhaps I won't have a problem discussing this.

But to start at a new job, and begin asking questions about the two no-no's (religion and politics) -- I think it's inappropriate.

A better topic would have been to ask me if my team is advancing to the Sweet 16, which it is.

[DesertRat]

115. I agree that religion and politics should be off limits at work

Without knowing anything about the person, I think that he might have just been trying (awkwardly) to make small talk. A lot of people just didn't learn "social graces" while growing up. And others just don't pick up on social cues.

Hopefully this won't continue to bother you.

BTW, Good luck in the Sweet 16. :)

[cboy4]

127. Nah, it's all good.

And thanks. :)

[ScreamingMeemie]

83. His purpose was that he thinks everyone is just like him...

I think it is rude and I think you answered him nicely.

[rniel]

91. I would take it

as an attack. As far as work I lie about it all the time if someone asked me that I'd just tell them I did go to church. I don't want them to use it as a weapon against me. People rank atheists worse than any other group in the country so you'd better watch out. I'd assume they are gathering names to put on a list of people to burn during the rapture. America is a dangerous place for people that think for themselves.

[DesertRat]

92. Why assume that the guy is a churchgoer?

Maybe he's against organized religion and looking for someone else with his same views. :shrug:

[Raskolnik]

113. "I would take it as an attack"

It must be exhausting to live like that.

[truebrit71]

97. "None of your fucking business" should have been the answer...

...it bother you because they are judging you..

[Raskolnik]

111. So if a coworker asks if you're married or have kids, you tell them "none of your fucking business?"

What the hell is wrong with you?

[truebrit71]

141. Yeah because asking someone what I did in my personal time is the same as asking if I'm married...

..did IQ's suddenly drop on DU?

READ what I wrote...THEN comment...

:eyes:

[Raskolnik]

159. Could you explain how it's different?

How is one personal question indicative of right-wing Christian fundamentalism (according to a plurality on this thread) and the other a simple get-to-know-you question that someone might ask a new coworker?

[truebrit71]

164. Umm..because one asks if you went to a place of worship and other didn't?

...

[Raskolnik]

167. If that's all you've got, I don't think you've justified "none of your fucking business"

[truebrit71]

172. My personal religious activities are none of anyone's fucking business...

...whether I'm married or not is pretty much public knowledge...

[Raskolnik]

173. I can think of a hundred reasons why someone's marital status

could be considered private, could bring up painful personal memories, and generally be "none of anyone's fucking business." Would it be appropriate for me to respond with a "none of your fucking business" to a coworker has the temerity to ask me if I'm married? No, it wouldn't, because if I did that I'd be a hyper-sensitive douche who is making his own issues everyone else's problem.

Perhaps you feel differently, but I have no desire to live in a world where we have to reduce human interaction to the absolute lowest common denominator or risk someone throwing a hissyfit.

[truebrit71]

175. Religious beliefs = personal and private...Marriage = public info....

...two totally different things...

Um, if you wear a wedding ring, or introduce a person as your spouse doesn't that pretty much make your point moot?

Bottom line...my religious beliefs and activities are no-ones fucking business...I believe that a bunch of folks a few hundred years ago started a new country to underline that point...

[Raskolnik]

176. Keep your religious beliefs & practices private to your little heart's content

no one is forcing you to do otherwise. If you don't think you could muster a polite "I don't like to discuss my religion, but how was your Easter?" when someone asks you about going to Church, I honestly don't know how you make it in the world. Do you seriously respond that way to people that ask questions like that, or is that just talk?

Seriously, I don't want to live in a world where everyone has to walk on eggshells because some prude is going to go out of their way to interpret every little attempt at personal interaction as an attack on their religious beliefs.

And as far as marriage being public info, I believe the guy who is going through a messy divorce, the woman who just married her lesbian partner but hasn't come out publicly, and the guy whose wife just died might disagree with that characterization. All those people have very good reasons to keep their marital status private, but that doesn't mean it's necessary to refrain from ever asking a coworker if they are married, much less make it acceptable to respond with a "none of your fucking business."

[truebrit71]

177. You see it differently than me obviously...

...personal religious beliefs are exactly that....PERSONAL.

[Raskolnik]

183. You changed the issue.

Personal religious beliefs are personal. If you don't want to discuss them, don't. If you don't want someone to ask you about anything having to do with religion, or any other topic, just tell them.

But responding to a coworker who asked if you went to church on Easter with "none of your fucking business?" Ridiculous.

[truebrit71]

185. Sez you.

Done.

[Raskolnik]

186. No, says common sense and civil society.

Done.

[truebrit71]

187. No, says respect of people's privacy.

Done.

[Raskolnik]

200. Nope, you're changing the issue again.

You can keep your religious affiliation and practices top-secret if you want, and never discuss them with a living soul. Have at it. No one, least of all me, is asking you to do any different.

What isn't appropriate, however, is responding with "none of your fucking business" to someone asking if you attended Church on Easter. Such a response is incredibly rude, childish, and betrays a lack of tolerance that I find ridiculous.

I understand that you want to have the last word, so please proceed, but please don't try and move the goalposts in a final post. That's rude as well.

[ourbluenation]

99. it's a loaded question that could be neutered w a reasonable answer like this...

no I didn't.

[Bravo Zulu]

107. Don't ask, don't tell

is the best policy!

[noamnety]

109. That's funny - I related it to the same thing.

I was thinking a nice response would be to wait til the next gay pride parade rolls into town, and on the following work day as the same coworker out of the blue if they attended it. If they are cool with the question, no issue. But if for some reason they're offended and consider it a "personal" question, then that's the time to remind them it's also inappropriate to ask about people's church going habits at work without an invite to pry.

(This is in my imaginary world where it's considered normal to take several months to find a suitable comeback.)

[Raskolnik]

112. Yeah! That'll teach him for trying to make a human connection with a coworker!

How dare he.

[cboy4]

122. Are you really this socially awkward, or do you know

that you just don't ask people any question that's on your mind?

Are you one of these people at the party who goes around and asks people awkward personal questions?

Do you ask people how much money they make, and if they've ever filed for bankruptcy, and how much their credit cards balances are, and if they're behind on the mortgage, and whether they've ever had a 3-way and whether they've ever cheated on their significant other...?

Do you get it now?

There are boundaries...especially when dealing with people you don't know.

And you're downplaying the inappropriateness of the question by attributing it to him wanting to make a human connection.

Maybe I'll make a human connection with him tomorrow and ask if he's circumcised.

Right?

[noamnety]

129. Isn't my question also about making a human connection? (nt)

[Raskolnik]

135. I thought it was more about being wilfully hyper-sensitive

But if you want to live in a world so homogeneous that you never have to interact with people different than you, I guess that's your business.

[noamnety]

137. Have we switched topics now?

Have I said anything to indicate that I prefer not to interact with people different than me?

(not that I don't appreciate your turning a discussion that was NOT about me into a personal attack on an unrelated subject, mind you.)

[Raskolnik]

163. Planning a little 'trap' to make someone feel bad about asking a harmless question

is ridiculous.

Being offended by a coworker asking if you attended church on Easter is ridiculous. Full stop.

[noamnety]

165. Asking if they went to Gay Pride is equally inoffensive.

You have a problem with that question?

[Raskolnik]

168. I fully agree. Anyone who takes offense at being asked if they saw a parade,

be it St. Patrick's, Gay Pride, or Bud Billiken, is being a hyper-sensitive scold.

The same goes for the Church/Easter question.

[TooBigaTent]

170. NO. The parallel would be, "Did you march in the Civil Rights Parade yesterday?"

The assumption with this question is - if you did not, there is something bigotted about you.

[noamnety]

171. You could say the same about the gay pride parade

It's not like you have to be gay to support gay rights.

[cboy4]

123. Umm, no. That's the worst policy. I have an idea.....

How about people just use their heads?

[varelse]

108. It probably felt like an intrusion into your private domain

especially since it was delivered without preamble. Your simple "No" was a perfect answer. Concise, honest, and impossible to read as an invitation to continue a discussion about a sensitive topic.

I feel much the same way when people ask me if I have any children, and especially so when they follow up my blunt "no" with a "well, why not"?

Heheh - that usually doesn't end pretty :P

[question everything]

114. Responding that you were Jewish would not have cut it, would it? (nt)

[madmom]

117. I answered a similar question at work with "I don't do the god thing",

the subject has never been broached again and the resident "bible thumper" and I work pretty amicably together. It's all in knowing the boundaries, I guess.

[cboy4]

120. Yea, and hopefully I established the boundaries with

my polite enough, yet chilly response.

You have to work around each other....I'm all for getting along.

[LisaL]

145. I am not embarrassed at all to say that I don't believe in god.

And so nobody asks me if I went to church cause they know I didn't.

[madmom]

226. when my children were small I was kinda discreet, but now that they're

grown,not so much. My son is undecided, I think because his wife and her family are so-called "christians" ( I put it that way because I doubt they know the meaning), my daughter is of the same persuasion as me.

[Xenotime]

119. Ha! What an ass.

[Sanctified]

128. For some people this is no different than asking did you watch the game yesterday. n/t

[LisaL]

132. Oh the guy was just likely trying to make small talk.

By the way if somebody asked me that question I would have just said I am an atheist and don't go to church.
It's not big deal.

[Ordr]

133. That's all it takes to offend you?

[cboy4]

143. You clearly haven't read any of my responses throughout

this thread.

Otherwise you wouldn't have to ask this question.

[spotbird]

138. Why do you ask?

If it was an honest question, there will be a good answer. Otherwise they will be flabbergasted.

[cboy4]

142. Actually, that's an excellent, excellent response.

One thing is for sure, I won't be as shocked next time.

I was basically speechless, which disappointed me because I'm usually pretty quick on the fly.

[Chovexani]

139. Rude as hell, and you were right to be bothered

For the people who think this guy was just some poor schmuck trying to make conversation, I would like to know when asking an intrusive question about something as intensely personal as religion became acceptable small talk.

A lot of this is cultural. For people in the South and other fundie infested areas, church questions are like talking about the weather. But far too often these types of things turn into Inquisitions where they will start prying about which church you go to, ask why you don't go to a "proper" church, etc. I see this all the time when I go down south.

Some of these responses smack of Christian privilege. For some of us the "religion" question is not innocuous, it stirs up bad memories at worst, and some of us that are religious minorities are sick and damn tired of having to constantly explain "what" we are to people.

I've had any number of rude ass questions about religion directed at me by various people at work because I wear a pentacle, and a bindi (just last Thursday, in fact, at a big training conference). My response is always the same: I am Pagan, and that I do not discuss religion in the workplace. If they are persistent I tell them it's none of their damn business.

[LisaL]

144. O'key. It's easter and many people go to church.

It might not even occur to the "poor schmuck" that some people might be offended if they are asked if they went to church.
I personally don't think it's an intrusive question.

[cboy4]

149. Lizzy, it may not be "intrusive" per se, if the question is

not asked as a direct question.

Envision:

Person walks up to my desk, says to me, "Hey did you go to church on Easter?"

Uh, ummm, what???

And Happy Monday to you "John."

Do you just walk up to people and ask direct questions Lizzy, or do you start with a greeting?

How about, "Hey, what's up? How was your Easter...What did you do...anything fun?"

And then when I don't mention church, he can follow...

"Oh, you don't go to church, or you didn't make it to church?"

See how that's a conversation, and not a direct question as though I'm on the witness stand.

That's not how you make small talk.

And I happen to agree with Chovexani's analysis.

It's a million times worse for her, since I'm a non-church-going Catholic -- that's much more acceptable to society than someone who isn't Christian.

[Chovexani]

153. Once again Ignore comes to my rescue.

It's nice to get periodic reminders of why people are on my list.

[anitar1]

148. I think the best answer is with a question. Such as

"Why is it you want to know"? I have found that works very well. Just using a soft tone.

[Skittles]

154. bad answer, my sweet

"HOW THF FUCK WOULD THAT BE ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS" would have been much more appropriate. :D

[cboy4]

156. LOL. You see, this is why I need to text you in situations like

this. ;)

[Raskolnik]

162. Yes, that seems reasonable.

Is that really how you interact with people?

[DainBramaged]

155. My answer is always "Why yes, my church is where my God is"

"and he doesn't live in a building".


It has caused more than a few devout "Christians" to curse me out.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Fuck 'em where they breathe, and don't let it bother you. It's just a way for the Fundies to start a conversation since their lives are so limited in scope.

Other than divorce court and child abandonment.

Incest and prostitution.

Love of money and property.

And minding YOUR business and not their own,

GODD Christian values.

Try not to share them with them.

[cboy4]

157. You're too much!

Very amusing post.

[DangerDave921]

160. If you can't explain why

then you need to analyze it more. Do you feel guilty for not going to church? If so, why?

The guy was not being rude at all. For many millions of folks, church and easter are a given. So ease up on the guy. And think hard why the question bothered you so much.

[stanwyck]

178. Not just rude, but totally not in

keeping with the spirit of our founding fathers and our Constitution. People have been put to death, discriminated against, fired, and ostracized for their religious beliefs. That is why, decent people understand that a person's religion is PRIVATE. This is personal information. There are boundaries. An individual is entitled to privacy, particularly in the workplace. Do you ask people you barely know about their sex lives? Do you ask the new guy "get any this weekend?" (Maybe you do. Some people have no filters.)Your very post indicates the problem here. "Feel guilty"? Religion is used as a weapon. Read the Bible. (do religious people ever actually read the Bible?) Jesus admonished his followers to practice their beliefs PRIVATELY. Do not use religion as a weapon to beat up other people.
I regret that your parents did not teach you respect for other people. If they had, you would know that basic consideration for others means you do not ask a person you barely know a public question about their personal life. You're flat out wrong here. Remember, for millions of Americans, church and Easter are NOT a given. This is arrogance on your part and the co-workers. Again, it's a matter of respect for other people.

[DangerDave921]

190. LOL

Sorry, don't mean to laugh at your post, but I just couldn't help it. Seriously, you are way too easily offended. And believe me, I'm not religious and did not go to church on Easter. But if a co-worker asked if I did, I'd just say nope, not my thing. And that would be the end of it. It wouldn't be some huge constitutional crisis where my very privacy had been grossly infringed on. Call EEOC and report a civil rights case!

Of course I wouldn't ask about a person's sex life. That would be rude and crass. And I personally wouldn't ask about a person's religious life either. But I don't see the offense in a co-worker asking an innocent question. Now if it was the boss, and there some penalities for not going to church, of course that would be wrong.

Is it OK to ask if the guy's kids had an easter egg hunt? Or is that an invasion of privacy too? Is it OK to ask if someone had a good easter dinner? Or is that taboo?

[stanwyck]

205. I'm OK with the easter egg hunt question, but not the

easter dinner.
Alright. I was too harsh. I understand your points.

[Liberal In Texas]

166. Americans tend to be pretty nosy.

A lot of people in this country ask the most personal questions from people they hardly know and even co-workers where the relationship is supposed to be professional. There is far less of this in Europe, and I suspect in other cultures as well.

Yes, your co-worker was rude and unprofessional.

[BB1]

169. What did he do? Just plain ask?

Intonation not right?

Obviously he was not informing if you did anything at all, otherwise you'd not have written this down.

Next time, tell him you're an atheist. Tell him you live by science, and could not conceive anybody thinking otherwise. Like ID or creationism. In fact, the single question you're asking is offending me that much, that I'm thinking of complaining about it to some-one, for offending my freedom FROM religion. But for now, if you promise never to make any reference to any religion at all, anymore, to me, we'll call it even. Shake hands.

Not convinced?
Tell him once the atheist take over the world, we're going to burn all the believers.
or
Ask him how many wars have been fought over atheist beliefs.

I think the reason it bothers you might be the lack of pride in not believing. There's no pride in it, you and I know it's only common sense, but still. Believers seem so happy and proud of their fairytale, it just makes you want to slap them in the face. That's the part that hurts - you know you're talking to mental 5 year olds, who have the same votingrights as you do. And still you have to put up with them, make sure the world doesn't go to pieces while they sing psalms in a too expensive church.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

195. Yes, anyone who believes in God is automatically a "mental 5 year old."

Good grief.:eyes:

[BB1]

209. I'm sure that's not the case in your part of the world,

but since we teach each and every kid in school about evolution, and make sure not to infect them with fairytales about God, Creation and Such; the ones who stubbornly persist in believing I treat like a mental 5 year old. Lots of good it does them, nor me, but I get it off my chest and after they stop crying, I offer a popsicle.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

199. Wow, that's the sort of arrogant judgement........

.....I try to avoid from the ultra right wing religious folks.

[immoderate]

174. I take it as awkward but innocent.

For most social situations I'm likely to say something like, "It's not my thing." This as opposed to, "I'm an atheist," which many theists take as an insult, because they see it as an implication that I think what they believe is wrong. (Which I do, but I think everyone has beliefs and they're a part of personality, and unique to each individual.)

Once I was sent on a consulting job for some ultra-fundamental rapturist who was putting out a newsletter. At the end of our session, he turns to me and says, "So...do you go to church?" I think about that he's a customer, and I like working for my company, so I say, "Not really applicable -- I'm Jewish," which I thought would end it. But that wasn't to be. He pressed on, "Do you go to synagogue?" With no hesitation, I said, "Every chance I get." And that seemed to satisfy him. It sure wasn't worth while to get into some deep philosophical discussion with that asshole.

When people proselytize me, I usually let them know that their time would be more productively spent elsewhere. But I would give this person the benefit of the doubt.

--IMM

[DangerDave921]

193. Very nice response. eom

[knitter4democracy]

232. I usually tell proselytizers that we're fine and not to waste their resources on us.

They seem to understand that argument. Why waste God's money and all on someone who's not going to listen or care?

[immoderate]

233. Agree.

That's what seems to work when they come to your door. I say something like, "Your time would be more profitably spent elsewhere."

They usually get it.

--IMM

[noel711]

180. In some parts of the country, a question like that

is simply civil discourse. A question like: "Nice day."
OR "How was your weekend?"

Please do not attach too much meaning to the
question.

I don't think it has anything to do with one's
religious beliefs. Now he had asked:
"What commandment did you break this weekend?"
That might be evidence for offence.

Going to church on Easter, in many cases,
is simply an observance of the holiday, like many
non-churched folks like to attend a Christmas Eve service,
not because they are deeply spiritual, but because it is
a lovely thing to observe in realation to the holiday.
Sing some lovely songs, enjoy the choir and the musicians,
look at the little kids in their Easter finery bicker over
the easter candy during the sermon..

Easter Sunday, which I am sure most of us had off from
work (I am the exception), and most of us wouldn't take
offence that the day off is a given, whether we are religious
or not.

And, many churches (like my own) have a free breakfast
on Easter Sunday, and the whole neighborhood is invited,
whether they attend the church or not. As we did during Lent,
free Thursday supper. No strings. Would that offend those
of you who aren't religiously affiliated? It's not about
trying to strongarm people into conversion. It's about
being a good neighbor and a welcoming presence in the
community. We don't have to agree about everything,
but we are proud of our community.

Take a chill pill; most of us don't accost people at gunpoint,
and say: 'Come in lockstep and join me for worship or you'll
burn in hell.'

[roody]

182. At least he didn't ask you,

"What church did you go to yesterday?" That is a southern Arkansas question.

[progressoid]

184. "Sure! But the orgy was delayed because we ran out of kittens to sacrifice to Persephone!"

[wtmusic]

198. LOL!

:thumbsup:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

194. Did he damn you to hell for saying "no"?

If not, I don't know why you are bothered either.

Maybe it was a bit presumptious on his part, but hardly offensive.

I mean, people look at my last name and automatically assume I am Jewish. I correct them and say I am not, but I'm not offended if they think I am.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

197. It depends on the tone

If he looked at you with that inquisition stare like when your mom or dad used to ask in that low tone "Did you do this?".....then yes, rude.

Otherwise, maybe he just doesn't know how to make small talk.

[kineneb]

201. got to give a pastor a Norooz candy

(Persian new year) he wished me happy Easter and blathered a bit, but really couldn't say too much, since my holiday is far older than his...

Mmm, Mom sent me a package of Gaz (soft, rosewater-flavored nougat candy with pistachios) for Norooz... nummy

[SoCalDem]

204. A clerk at Best Buy once told me to "Have a Blessed Day"

:cringe:

If I had been at a religious-book store, I would have expected it..but buying batteries at Best Buy?? not so much :(

[Raskolnik]

206. And the problem with that is...?

[SoCalDem]

207. If I hafta-tell-ya, you'll never "get" it

:hi: :rofl:

[Raskolnik]

208. That's a cop-out.

If you can't/won't explain why wishing someone a "blessed day" is wrong, it seems disingenuous to even bring it up in the first place.

[wuushew]

221. Its fairly obvious isn't it?

Does Gawd bless Amerika? Does he/she favor one sport teams over another? Declaring something to be blessed is a projection of pure arrogance.

[Raskolnik]

222. With all due respect, that is nonsense.

The person didn't say "god bless America" or "god bless the Lakers."

The phrase in question is "have a blessed day" in the context of saying goodbye to someone. How does wishing someone a very good, i.e. blessed, day project arrogance?

[wuushew]

223. Well as listed in the dictionary the religious definition is listed first

blessed
3 entries found.

blessedblessBlessed Sacrament



Main Entry: bless·ed
Pronunciation: \ˈble-səd\
Variant(s): also blest \ˈblest\
Function: adjective
Date: before 12th century
1 a: held in reverence : venerated <the blessed saints> b: honored in worship : hallowed <the blessed Trinity> c: beatific <a blessed visitation>
2: of or enjoying happiness; specifically : enjoying the bliss of heaven —used as a title for a beatified person
3: bringing pleasure, contentment, or good fortune
4—used as an intensive <never had one blessed minute of instruction — Charles Scribner Jr.>
— bless·ed·ly adverb
— bless·ed·ness noun

[Raskolnik]

225. So what? Do you really think it makes more sense to interpret "have a blessed day"

as "have a venerated day" as opposed to "have a day that brings you pleasure, contentment, or good fortune?"

And who cares if it has a religious connotation? If it's offered in good faith (no pun intended), and there is no reason to suspect from the facts available that is wasn't, what is the harm in a religious person wishing you a "blessed day?" Are you really that sensitive that you can't accept good will unless it conforms to your political bent?

[datasuspect]

211. people who have issues

have a hard time making peace with belief and believers. religion serves a very useful purpose in many people's lives.

are you still mad at your parents for something too?

[Joe Chi Minh]

228. Would that be Hector "Macho" Camacho? Or is he a congressman?

Oops. I've just seen your signature line! Just jesting.

[Throd]

215. As an atheist I would have just said "No, I did not."

And left it at that. He didn't ask you what your favorite sexual position is.

[BreweryYardRat]

216. Eh, I don't see the harm.

It sounds like he was just trying to make conversation.

Then again, I haven't set foot in a church since I was a kid, so your mileage may vary.

[Catshrink]

231. He wants to save your ass, friend.

And find out if you're a true 'merikan.