It is becoming increasingly obvious that "conservative" Republicans are behind the campaign to destroy American life as generations have known it in this great country. Once this was a land of great opportunity, where people could choose a viable career, start a family, own a home and provide for their children by instilling hope for an even more successful life with each generation.
But as the Easter holiday looms before us, there are increasing signs that Americans today have little to look forward to and perhaps even less to provide their children. The network news broadcasts solemnly explain that many of the favorite and familiar occupants of our annual holiday Easter baskets have not only become too expensive, but are now smaller in size. Cadbury eggs have been shrinking, leaving less chocolate to savor and even less cream filling to enjoy. . .even Resse's peanut butter eggs are now only two bites in my mouth, instead of the much anticipated annual three bites per egg.
Many Americans will have little to put in their baskets beyond the inevitable scourge of the Easter holidays of our youth - the dreaded PEEPS. Yes, even though the company has cleverly concocted ways to dress up the awful yellow chicks by offering a variety of colors and molds, there is little enthusiasm among Easter basket purists for a grass-filled wicker container teeming with the gooey, sugar-coated mess. Even as American culture has tried to endear these awful creatures to us by coining the word "Peeps" into descriptions of those friends we know and love, there seem to be few Americans willing to publicly announce they support having these sticky things in our holiday baskets.
Shoppers look around warily as they slip the marshmallow critters into their shopping carts, quickly covering the packages with boxes of soap or toilet paper so that other shoppers do not see their descent into celebrating Easter with the Walmart of basket candy. And yet those who make PEEPS celebrate the rise in sales, plotting new ways to force the product into the celebrations of other American holidays. . .see
http://www.peepsshow.com Wikipedia describes PEEPS as "small marshmallow candies, shaped into baby chickens, bunnies and other animals." While these creatures were first used as filler in Easter baskets only, Americans now must fear their presence on other holidays. The Just Born company has been morphing the marshmallow mess into new shapes that invade more and more of our other holidays.
The effect of these creatures on American children is also becoming evident. Those not yet poverty-stricken enough to continue to access a microwave have been found sneaking PEEPS into the ovens, creating a household mess that adds to the pain and frustration of those delegated with cleaning duties in the American household. See:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCv3RIpISigSome Americans, in an effort to discover some useful way to handle the invasion of PEEPS, have recruited them as mercenaries in the ongoing battle for American supremacy in the heavens. See:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RekcNK73pkkOthers have attempted using PEEPS to infiltrate some of the most beloved American music, developing videos which use PEEPS to create visuals to Pink Floyd's The Wall.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyzPpTl3Cws Perhaps worse, there are indications the current Administration is using PEEPS to teach children to celebrate war:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJO8oGIePyMClearly, the destruction of the American economy is perhaps most symbolized by the ongoing onslaught of PEEPS and the desperate methods Americans must continue to employ in how to dispose of the creatures. This leads to both cruelty to the American public, and torturous treatment of the marshmallow creatures.
This leads me to encourage Americans to remember one of the more important messages of this season of faith: if we must find them in the Easter baskets of our holiday, be kind to your PEEPS, even if it takes a leap of that same faith to place one into your mouth.
:-).
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