Silda Spitzer is a beautiful woman

[Stinky The Clown]

[Warpy]

1. Her beauty is probably one reason he paid for thrills

He didn't want to jeopardize a good marriage with a tacky, emotional affair.

[riderinthestorm]

3. Yes, because wives are so much more forgiving if the affair is with a hooker?

I don't get that mentality. The STD possibilities alone would freak me the hell out. That my husband would endanger ME like that by having sex with a prostitute is just as bad as the emotional and mental betrayal of an "emotional" affair.

Sorry, they're both pretty shitty and my husband would have jeopardized our marriage equally either way he would choose.

[Warpy]

4. IF you found out about it.

Face it, if he's out of town and treats himself to an hour with a pro, you're probably not going to.

However, if he's banging somebody you know, you have a hard job ignoring it, especially if it's an icky emotionally charged affair.

[riderinthestorm]

7. Well of course.

I thought your point was that the wife discovered either and that she should be so much more relieved that it was with a prostitute instead of a long term lover.

And not every affair involves someone the wife knows. Sorry but the disease factor would mean either situation (when I found out about it) would be equally as bad for him.

And Spitzer for example, obviously didn't care too much if Silda found out - he wasn't very secretive about it, and $80k is a lot of money to spend on ONE prostitute (how many more there were we don't know about yet at this stage of the game). The Spitzers obviously didn't have money issues but if a couple did, $$ spent on prostitutes would be another shitty aspect that would piss a wife right off.

[Warpy]

10. My dad traveled for a living

and my mother's attitude was that if she ever found out he was paying for sex on the road, she'd take an equivalent amount out of their joint account and blow it on herself.

My dad knew she was stating a fact and not making a threat, so he was either able to hide it very well or he was remarkably faithful.

[riderinthestorm]

12. Heh. See, I'd just take it ALL out of the account.

And everything else out of the house, and my kids as well. And my husband knows that I'm stating a fact and not making a threat.

I know it sounds weird but I honestly believe my husband IS faithful. We're farmers and hiding nookie would be incredibly difficult since so much of our days, nights, work, travel etc. is tied to BOTH of us doing it together. Horse training, breeding, and competitions consume us and frankly the horses demand so much passion and energy, they really are his/our "other" loves.

Peace!

[NashVegas]

106. Shaking Up A Child's Emotional Security Because of Your Feelings

Of hurt and anger. Yeah, that'll help them grow up.

[mondo joe]

5. Among some couples who have explicit or complicit arrangements about sex outside the marriage

the standard is that sex is okay but emotional attachment isn't.

In those terms, a prostitute - particularly a very high end prostitute - could easily be preferable.

[riderinthestorm]

8. What leads you to believe that this is what is going on with Silda and Elliot Spitzer?

What actions at that press conference did you see that left you with that impression?

I agree that there is probably a percentage of people out there who are polyamorous but Warpy's post was talking about couples who are NOT cool with that kind of relationship and that was what I was responding to.

[mondo joe]

9. I didn't say that was the case with the Spitzers (though it could be - I don't know).

I was talking generally about couples in which this might be preferable to an affair, which is what I thought was being discussed in the subthread.

Also, I wouldn't even put all those couples in te "polyamorous" category - the complicit approval is often grudgingly present and unacknowledged, but there.

[riderinthestorm]

13. Fair enough but I didn't interpret Warpy's comment to include couples

who either explicitly or implicitly agreed that sex with prostitutes outside of their relationship is okay. I responded as someone who wouldn't tolerate any of it. Since the OP was about the Spitzers, I believed Warpy was responding to THAT situation and was making a commentary that Silda should perhaps be relieved that Elliot's extramarital sex was with a prostitute instead of an emotional affair.

Generally, I agree that there is a percentage of people who would tolerate their husbands having sex with prostitutes. I believe that percentage is really small but I acknowledge your point that they are out there.

[mondo joe]

19. Yes - I guess I was referring to your earlier comment:

"Yes, because wives are so much more forgiving if the affair is with a hooker? I don't get that mentality."

I was trying to respond to not understanding that mentality, which plainly does exist. I don't think Warpy or I were saying Silda should be relieved - just that in some cases people are, for the reasons given: it's sex but not love.

I also think there have historically been a LOT of women who complicitly consented to their husband's fooling around. Not by ever formally giving consent, but by sort of knowing it and not thinking about it or responding. So I don't consider them polyamorous couples.

I think this may particularly be the case among more wealthy and powerful couples. Look at Jackie Kennedy, or her mother in law, or Princess Diana. It was part of the deal.

[NashVegas]

108. I Think That's the Most Likely Case

Doe to what was written in the complaint.

[lumberjack_jeff]

31. It happens. Take George Burns, for instance:

http://www.adherents.com/people/pb/George_Burns.html

I made some mistakes in our marriage. I made one big mistake that I've never talked about before. I cheated on Gracie once. That's why I've never talked about it before...
...I had my affair in the early 1950s. It was with a beautiful starlet. I don't remember her name, but she was very pretty and very sexy. I actually don't remember what she looked like, either, but this is my book and if I'm going to have an affair in it, it's only going to be with someone beautiful and sexy.

Gracie and I were having a little fight at the time. She wanted to buy a silver centerpiece that cost $750. I didn't want to buy a silver centerpiece at any price. We had silver centerpieces. "What do we need another one for?" I asked Gracie. "We already have two. You can only use one at a time." But Gracie wanted this centerpiece.

Then I cheated with this girl. I had my one-night affair. I don't know why I did it, maybe I had had too much to drink, but it had nothing to do with the centerpiece. I wasn't very good at cheating, maybe because I hadn't done it before. Somehow Gracie found out, and I found out that Grade had found out. So she knew, and I knew she knew, but I didn't know if she knew that I knew that she knew. If that had kept up we might have had a whole new act.

I didn't know what to do about it. Gracie never said a word. That was even tougher than if we had gotten into a big fight. The longer she went without saying anything, the more guilty I felt. Finally, after a few days I couldn't take it anymore. I went out and bought her the $750 silver centerpiece and a $10,000 diamond ring and gave them to her. I never told her why I'd bought them for her and she never asked, and she never said a single word about my affair. At least she didn't say a word for seven years.

Seven years later she was out shopping with Mary Benny and they were in the silver department at Saks. Gracie found a centerpiece she really liked and she said to Mary, "You know, I wish George would cheat again, I really need a new centerpiece."

Look, I was very lucky that Gracie handled it the way she did. My mistake could have ruined both of our lives. But she was so smart, she just never mentioned it. If she had decided to make a big deal about it, we might not have had another decade together. And, in her own way, she forgave me. So today I think about Gracie every single day, and at least once a month I go to the Forest Lawn Cemetery to visit her and tell her all about my life. And the other girl, the starlet? I wouldn't even recognize her if I ran into her. That's how smart Gracie really was.

[pengillian101]

94. That George Burns story was great reading.

Thanks for posting it. :-)

[Skittles]

115. he probably wants a gal to piss on him

that's where I think the MAJOR BUCKS come in - something really kinky

[amborin]

29. wife is exposed to STDs in both instances

the affair partner could easily have an STD

and an affair could more easily lead to zero protection than sex with a prostitute

further, the prostitute is just a fling....for thrills, or many other reasons (unless you remember Belle du Jour)

an affair is way more threatening....it means emotional invlovement, etc....

[femrap]

33. As Ms. Bobbitt...

more would be jeopardized than a marriage!

[Virginia Dare]

14. Some people just get off on sex with strangers..

or maybe it was some kinky stuff he didn't want to ask his wife for that he was after?

[gollygee]

49. beautiful wife = good marriage?

[madokie]

2. In a different setting she would be gorgeous if you were to ask me

I guess its true the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence or sumptin like that

If his past is any indication I think there is a chance we haven't heard it all from the prosecutor here. His fessing up and not taking the blackmail on this may be the spark that starts the fire so to say.
I can hope

[NewJeffCT]

6. Who knows what went on in Spitzer's mind, though?

I never thought the movie "Fatal Attraction" was realistic because I didn't think a guy would cheat on a woman as hot as Anne Archer with Glenn Close... but, you can never tell. And, since plenty of women liked the movie, they must have thought it believable.

[marions ghost]

15. hmmmm...logic?

so men with "hot" wives don't bother to cheat on them (but if she's not so hot, well she should expect infidelity). Hmmmm...depends on what the meaning of hot is, I guess. :shrug:

[KharmaTrain]

11. Yes She Is...And Very Strong

When this Spitzer shit broke and I read the preliminary reports, I predicted he'd have the obligatory press conference with the wife at one side and the flag on the other. It's so predictable now...and Spitzer did it again with his resignation.

I honestly have a lot of compassion for what that woman must be facing...inside her life and inside herself. While Sptizer deserved to be publicly humiliated by this, his wife ends up the real victim here. Be it from a Laura the Unloved who uses the "if he wasn't getting it at home, he wouldn't be buying hookers" shit or those who think she was an enabler, a gold digger.

What's most amusing in reading the "moral judgements" here is how many are expressed by those who've never had a real long-term relationship...or can only view others through their own experiences. Relationships have to be based on many aspects to last and change over time...it rolls up in a collective history and common causes that can get stronger as time passes. It's also a comfort factor for both...they provide a stability in each other's lives that transcends sex, money and other external and, for the most part, temporal needs or desires. Again...it's complex and to broad brush relationships is a popular past time but I find almost always way off the mark about the real people.

That said, the real test will be how this couple survives the months ahead.

[riderinthestorm]

17. This post alone deserves to be singled out.

:loveya: Elegantly stated and very true. I know how I would react to my husband's infidelities but I would never presume to judge anyone else's response. I've purposefully stayed out of most of the rest of the threads on this but Husb2Sparkly's compassion for Silda attracted me to this one.

[KharmaTrain]

20. Compassion Seems To Be At A Premium Here...

Thank you kindly!! :hugs:

You can never know what a couple goes through...my mother called her marriage "The 60 Year War", but she knew when it was important, she and my father would bond together to weather a lot of storms. I've been fortunate to only have had to endure a 31 year one, so far (just kidding)...but I know my life wouldn't be complete without my wife sharing it with me. We joke that we're the only people who can put up with each other...and there's a lot of truth to that.

Sex is a complicated issue that gets intermingled with other emotions...and I'm sure many here who moralize have skeletons in their closets, just prefer to join in on the feeding frenzy. There's also a disconnect between a strong relationship and an abusive one. I've met women who have endured infidelities due to their strong bonds (Hillary Clinton for one), while other are trapped in an abusive relationship and afraid to be on their own. I can understand those who feel bitter about a cheating spouse (and it's equal "opportunity" these days), but I can't judge, either.

Cheers...

[mondo joe]

21. Absolutely!

Long term marriages are very complex things. That's why I keep saying no one can understand any marriage but the people in it.

The only thing that makes the Spitzers unique is that their relationship is being played out in a far more public way than most.

[Supersedeas]

95. Well said.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. whats that got to do with anything?

[Chovexani]

107. Only ugly women deserve to get cheated on I guess

I have no idea what's on people's minds.

[marions ghost]

18. People cheat for various reasons...

and it usually ends up hurting somebody. I mean "cheat" says it's not a mutual agreement. If there's a mutual agreement for extra-curricular sex, then it's not cheating, still risky emotionally though.

Sorry but anybody who spends $80,000+ on hookers is not wrapped too tight IMO. He could have spent a lot less on psychotherapy. This is an emotional problem and compulsion that goes beyond sex. It might be equated to a shopping or gambling compulsion, or hoarding behavior. Delusions of grandeur, narcissism, undue sense of entitlement...all that probably involved too--but I think it just boils down to a habitual thrill-seeking compulsion, reinforced by shame and guilt over time.

Some men are addicted to power, political control, exploitation, winning at all costs. Tends to make them seek outlets that assuage their guilt about being such basic assholes.

It's hard for me to believe that his wife would not know about large withdrawals and had no idea where the money was going. She didn't have to be an enabler though, she could just be in denial.

[KharmaTrain]

22. Most Times Cheating Means Other Things Than Sex

It's withholding support...financial or emotional. Withdrawing communications is so common with couples I've seen go kaput...the sex is the byproduct.

From what I've read, Spitzer had quite a bit of family money...and I wouldn't be surprised that he had some stashed away in his name he could "play" with...while we all easily wince at throwing $80gs away (and a statement about his "fiscal responsibility") but when you have a fund in seven figures cranking out 6% or more interest, there's plenty to go around. I see it no different than Bettamillion Bill Bennett going to the casino and tossing that kind of money away. They have it and have the feeling there's more where that came from. It's a luxuary few ever can afford.

[mondo joe]

23. I've heard it said that no marriage breaks because of infidelity, but infidelity happens

because of broken marriages.

[marions ghost]

26. right but

some people with "excess" money start foundations and do something worthwhile with it. I would have even been OK with it if he bought the art they were "offering" instead of the hookers. That might be an elitist thing, but at least it supports something cultural and outside of oneself.

People who just blow their big bucks (that we presume they made legitimately but that's always a question mark) --on self indulgent activities, material crap, steroidal houses, ridiculous luxuries that they really don't need or deserve--how can anyone have any respect for them? They're just no-class pigs.

I had an uncle who went from rags to riches. He made a lot of money in big construction projects after the war--pretty big money in those days. He lived fairly modestly, traveled some, helped some family members out, generally had a very nice life. He gave the bulk of his fortune to public universities, foundations, charities, public sports facilities. What was the difference? My uncle was generous, community minded, and had his lusts under control.

I just can't in any way admire a person who behaves like Spitzer. Really these kind of guys need help. It's worse than "fiscal irresponsibility"--it's a kind of sickness.

[JDPriestly]

79. Spitzer had a foundation.

[marions ghost]

100. oh I'm sure

but the point is that public servants with excess money who go around indulging themselves in risky business at others' expense (no matter what the extravagance) are not people you can really admire. I feel the same way about excess consumption, although it doesn't carry the emotional price of betrayal.
Spitzer risked his office and his career, not a wise decision.

Clearly he needed to make some adjustments and face his self-delusion about living out adolescent fantasies while attempting to cure some deep insecurities. I'm just saying there are more mature ways to deal with the problem of excess money to burn than acting like King Studmuffins. In a psychological sense I'm sure he is somewhat relieved to have it over, the addiction exposed. But what a price.

Should I have an opinion about what people do with their money? Absolutely, especially in this world of growing scarcity. Same goes for John Edwards too, for his house thing-- as much as I like and support Edwards, it was an ostentatious indulgence when he could have shown more restraint. John got a little more of his money's worth in his house and his haircut than Spitzer did in his hookers though. Unless you'd argue that it was essential for Spitzer's mental and physical health--even so, very over-priced.

[JDPriestly]

104. Here is what happened.

http://www.gregpalast.com/elliot-spitzer-gets-nailed/#more-1979

While New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was paying an ‘escort’ $4,300 in a hotel room in Washington, just down the road, George Bush’s new Federal Reserve Board Chairman, Ben Bernanke, was secretly handing over $200 billion in a tryst with mortgage bank industry speculators.

Both acts were wanton, wicked and lewd. But there’s a BIG difference. The Governor was using his own checkbook. Bush’s man Bernanke was using ours.

. . .
It was the night of February 13 when Spitzer made the bone-headed choice to order take-out in his Washington Hotel room. He had just finished signing these words for the Washington Post about predatory loans:

“Not only did the Bush administration do nothing to protect consumers, it embarked on an aggressive and unprecedented campaign to prevent states from protecting their residents from the very problems to which the federal government was turning a blind eye.”

***

Trust me on this. Very few people are flawless. Most people have made a mistake, said something false. There is a whole list of things. Spitzer cheated on his wife with a call girl, a number of call girls.

Had he taken a plane to Paris instead of to D.C., it would have been perfectly legal, and he would have had no problem.

I don't want my husband to cheat on me. Cheating on your spouse is a horrible thing, but compared to selling sub-prime loans to ignorant fools and thereby ruining the economy and cheating millions out of their pension funds, it's nothing.

Here is how I feel. I'm 64. Bush spent my share of Social Security on the Iraq War. The banks and mortgage companies have spent every cent I've ever saved on a scam that transferred those savings to the companies' CEOs. I could care less about what Spitzer paid to his prostitute. It wasn't my money. It wasn't your money. It wasn't America's money. It was his own money. Not a cent of it was mine or yours. Forget this. Start focusing on the real crimes.

[ikojo]

41. I'm sure the Bush tax cuts for the rich helped

Mr Spitzer's accounts.

[Freddie Stubbs]

24. She is a beautiful doormat

Watching her stand by her husband during that press conference all I could think of was what a doormat.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

25. you dont know what their agreement is. this is their marriage not yours.

without know their understanding it is not your position to judge her.

[Bucky]

27. While you may be right there, technically, morally, legally, and ethically speaking...

...laughing at someone else's misfortunes can be a lot more fun.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

48. yeah, and thats what we 'progressives' have become

sigh!

[stanwyck]

28. I don't think beauty is the issue

Do men cheat because their wives aren't attractive enough? Maybe some. But I doubt that's the reason for most. They cheat because they want variety. They want something different. They want what they think everybody else is getting. And they're not. They want what they saw on a porn site. Or in a movie. Or heard about in the men's locker room. I'm just not sure they the majority of humans are monogamous by nature. Many of us choose monogamy. But, is it our nature? So, many decide to indulge themselves. It's really none of our business -- unless we're in a relationship with a person who has agreed to monogamy or the person is endangering someone else. Having a beautiful wife is no guarantee of fidelity. Spitzer would probably cheat on Michelle Pfieffer or Angelina Jolie.

[defendandprotect]

38. If "beauty" were the issue Silda wouldn't be married to Elliot --- !!!

[amborin]

30. she is gorgeous

and experts say there are MANY different reasons why men use prostitutes

and using prostitutes is DIFFERENT than cheating with a love interest or gf

latter is way more damaging to the marital rel'p

[tabasco]

32. She's hotter than hell.

She needs to get with someone who appreciates her.

[JuniperLea]

34. Affairs are a control issue...

Hookers are paid for... owned. Has nothing to do with beauty.

She is a looker, no question.

[AZ Criminal JD]

35. She may have been pretty at one time

But she is no longer a 22 year old.

[tabasco]

36. A woman can't be beautiful if she's over 22?

I feel sorry for you.

[Faygo Kid]

39. She sure can. And she is. And she ought to dump him.

And she ought to dump the SOB, take a hundred million or so and take her daughters outta here where they will be left alone.

At their age, they are so vulnerable. I'm a Dad of a daughter myself, and I can't imagine what this cretin has done to his daughters. Hell, "Kristen" could be their sister.

[marions ghost]

50. ditto

If I were one of his daughters I'd never quite feel the same about dear old Dad. I'm sure they can forgive him someday but finding out your Dad is a sleeze for any reason is pretty devastating. I had a friend whose Dad ended up in jail for shamefully bad business dealings when she was a teenager. His daughter was never able to reconcile "the Dad she knew with the Dad she didn't know." What had been a good relationship became strained and broken over time. In the Spitzer case the daughters have all the media hoopla to endure and the public shaming, which I certainly don't agree with. They'll take their cue from Mom, but they'll never be the same. He has deeply hurt his family.

On the other hand I do think he was set up in this and the hypocrisy is rampant on all sides. Such is the fall of people who don't understand the nature of their enemies.

[seabeyond]

53. my dad did

my husband pays for it, as much as i really really dont want him to. it isnt fair to him

[AZ Criminal JD]

45. Please don't be. I'm very happy.

[seabeyond]

52. until you go beyond 22 and become disposable? n/t

[AZ Criminal JD]

59. I am not a woman and I didn't say women over 22 were disposable.

What I am saying is men like variety and usually younger variety as they get older. All men like this, whether they act on it or not, as long as they have a sex drive. As far as Ms. Spitzer being "hot" would any 22 year old man want her? PC replies not needed.

[mainegreen]

61. You're delusional. n/t

[AZ Criminal JD]

63. No, just realistic with a reasonable amount of knowledge of how people think.

[mainegreen]

64. No, you're an idiot with very little experience with people.

[AZ Criminal JD]

65. I have more experience with people than most people who post on this board.

That is how I make my money and I do quite well.

[mainegreen]

73. Never the less, you are wrong here.

I know this for a fact based on plenty of firsthand observation of just this subject matter.

You are wrong. More wrong than you realize.

[seabeyond]

78. wrong place, so wrong, lol.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

83. I wouldn't bother with this one. He will spew some $2 evo-psych drivel at you

And think that it constitutes a valid argument. It's a waste of time arguing with men like this. They're like religious nuts with their junk science.

[LanternWaste]

68. Not as reasonable an amount as you may think...

Not as reasonable an amount as you may think...

You may with all right and conscience speak for yourself, however once you begin to speak for all other males, you begin advertising a lack of both credibility and a "reasonable amount of knowledge".

Sorry, Charlie.

[AZ Criminal JD]

77. I don't speak for all other males. I was replying to a poster who claimed Ms. Spitzer

was "hot" by "any standard" which means he was speaking for all males.

[seabeyond]

72. i was gonna put a crude and tacky post, but there are some men here

walking the higher ground, they raise me instead of me lowering myself....

oh

lol

i will be nice.

[AZ Criminal JD]

80. You should really post what you think, nice or not.

Most of us real men can handle it, really.

[seabeyond]

96. do you really think it is unique to men to want variety and youth.

do you think age is unique to women and something the man isnt experiencing right along with the woman.

when i was waitressing a couple decades ago, i would have old men flirt and hit on me, ..... 40 somethings, and beyond. some were harmless and in play, and those i could giggle with. then there were a lot that actually thought i would want anything from them, .... eeeeeeeew, they were my dads age, gross.


and then there is commitment and love and marriage.

old is old... either gender, men cannot run and hide from it anymore than female. man can lie to himself though.

some men can be honest and have something empowering come from it.

[AZ Criminal JD]

97. No. I don't think it is unique to men to want variety and youth.

You can read about hollywood females who are coupled with younger men. Not common but it is there when they have wealth and power. Just because most men and most women can't act on their desires does not mean it is not there.

[seabeyond]

98. not a matter of simply not acting on a desire....... surely

that implies a lack, or denied....

are you suggesting that most women and men are walking thru life feeling unsatisfied, and being denied their desire?

[AZ Criminal JD]

101. Yes. That is a fair statement.

Most are. If one adds up the divorce rates and then the vast number who don't get divorced because of "the children" or the cost or insecurity or power, then yes a majority live unsatisfied lives (or at least live a good portion of that life unsatisfied).

[seabeyond]

102. well,.... arent i the lucky one that i am mature enough and love well enough

that it means squat to me and regardless of hubby aging, sex with him is better and better......

and i am satisfied and content

much better than experiencing a lack in my life..... i cringe

[defendandprotect]

40. If she were still 22 would she be married to Elliot --- ???

[AZ Criminal JD]

56. Only she could answer that question. Who knows why they got married.

Some people marry for love, some for power, some for money, some for other reasons. Who knows what her reason was?

[Frank Cannon]

42. She's hot by anyone's standards, regardless of her age

There is something wrong with Mr. Spitzer. Like Jed Clampett used to day, "That boy ain't right."

[AZ Criminal JD]

46. I know you say that to be PC but she is not "hot" by anyone's standards.

[Frank Cannon]

47. I don't say that to be PC. She is genuinely attractive.

Anyone who states otherwise is not being truthful or has, shall we say, another agenda.

[AZ Criminal JD]

55. Since by your words I am not being truthful, what is my agenda?

[Ellen Forradalom]

57. Wow. You speak for the ENTIRE WORLD?

[AZ Criminal JD]

62. No I don't. If you bother reading the posts you will see I was replying to a poster.

He or she said Ms. Spitzer was hot by "anyones standards." If that poster can speak for the world I guess I can in reply.

[NashVegas]

109. Men Who Fancy Themselves "Players" Tend Not to Rate as Hot

Any woman whose physical grooming and body language don't scream "fuck me in the ass just before I give you a blow job that will make you explode like Vesuvius."

Also, very young men who have no clue how sexually expressive women become as they age.

That said, anyone who would be disappointed if they found themselves in bed next to this may as well just go masturbate, cause no real woman is going to be good enough for you.

[Karenina]

112. Happier times...

She's just gorgeous. As was Princess Di and we all know where that dot her...

[AZ Criminal JD]

113. I don't have that problem but thanks for the thought.

[Frank Cannon]

118. Bamalib doesn't go for women that look like that

He obviously has a much higher standard.

Hmmm...

[gollygee]

51. Her husband isn't 22 either

[AZ Criminal JD]

54. He is not selling himself. He is buying. There is a difference.

[Ellen Forradalom]

58. Silda "sold" herself?

[AZ Criminal JD]

60. No. The other woman in the case did. I think you know that.

[JerseygirlCT]

67. So now she's selling herself?

Is that what they call being married these days?

[AZ Criminal JD]

82. Spitzer's paid girlfriend is selling herself.

Some people in a marriage do sell themselves. Most do not. Only Ms. Spitzer can answer whether it applies to her or not.

[LanternWaste]

66. You appear to imply that there's an either/or

You appear to imply that there's an either/or in your statement-- either she's 22, or she's not pretty. Did I infer that correctly?

If so, what is the precise and relevant age you believe a woman to be not pretty any more?

[Ellen Forradalom]

69. * Crickets chirping *

Our troll isn't defending his "logic."

[AZ Criminal JD]

74. Chirp away. I actually work, unlike many on this board, so I can't immeditely comment.

[Ellen Forradalom]

76. You had plenty of time to comment before.

[AZ Criminal JD]

84. So now you are managing my work schedule. Interesting.

You don't even know what I do or how I do it and you are making assumptions about my time. Incredible.

[Ellen Forradalom]

86. You're telling me that I AM UNATTRACTIVE

because I am 44. But you don't know anything about my face, my body or my love life.

Incredible.

Incidentally, Mr. Spitzer and others aren't just paying for beauty. They are paying for inequality. They are paying for irresponsibility. To squirt their body liquids into her and throw her away like a Kleenex. Not so easily done with the wife.

[AZ Criminal JD]

89. I have no idea if you are attractive or not.

The issue was whether Ms. Spitzer was "hot" or not which I believe is a higher standard than "attractive." I do agree with you on the gist of your comments about Spitzer. He is paying for the girlfriend to leave, as the saying goes, not for the sex.

[Ellen Forradalom]

92. a. Kindly define how hot is a higher standard than attractive.

b. Kindly define how hot and attractive differ from beautiful, which is the term in the OP.
c. Kindly justify your arrogance in appointing yourself the arbiter of Mrs. Spitzer's appearance ("by no one's standards...") If someone else does find her hot, do you overrule that person?

[AZ Criminal JD]

99. I was replying to poster #42 who said Ms. Spitzer was hot by "anyone's standards."

I don't wish to "overrule" anyone if they think she is "hot" by any definition. I guess I can't define a. and b. It is like Justice Stewart said trying to define "obscenity". "I know it when I see it.

[NashVegas]

110. I'm Pretty Sure "Hot" in this Case

Means, "I'd fuck her and brag about it to my friends."

[AZ Criminal JD]

75. Don't you know the facts in this case?

Spitzer's paid girlfriend, who he purposely selected, is 22. Some may consider Ms. Spitzer "pretty" and maybe she is for a woman of her age. Most men would laugh at the suggestion she is "hot" as some have posted. No woman of that age is 'hot.' Spitzer thinks so too and that is why he went elsewhere to be with someone he thinks is "hot."

[Ellen Forradalom]

81. "No woman of that age is "hot.""

There you go again, speaking for the entire world.

[AZ Criminal JD]

85. No. That is my opinion and how I see women of that age.

But given the number of conversations and comments I have heard over the years I think a healthy majority of men feel the same.

[Ellen Forradalom]

87. You sad sad man.

[AZ Criminal JD]

90. I hope you are not dismayed but I am very happy.

But don't worry maybe something bad will happen to me in the future. One can only hope.

[Ellen Forradalom]

93. Pathetic people frequently are.

[girl gone mad]

103. When I was younger..

I believed this kind of garbage. Now that I have gained a bit of age and experience, I know better. I think you might, too at some point, as you broaden your standards and your pool of potential partners grows.

At one time I thought I was as beautiful as I would ever be at 21. Sometime between then and now, I figured out how to style my hair, I started weight training a couple of times a week, I fixed my teeth and I grew out of my awkwardness. I get hit on now more than at any time in my past. I am also not nearly as judgmental of men's appearances as I was when I was 21. A grey hair or a wrinkle wouldn't be a complete turn off now.

Your logic is a bit flawed when you claim Mr. Spitzer chose his hooker based on her youth. According to transcripts, he had no idea which whore they were sending to meet him. He didn't even ask about age, just body type and hair color.

You have the attitude of a very naive person. That naivete is what so many older people find most appealing about 20 year olds. They are easy to take advantage of.

By the way, when I was 21, I was often initially rejected by men who thought I was too young looking.

[AZ Criminal JD]

114. That is great you have found happiness

[girl gone mad]

116. I didn't find happiness.

I'm still about the same, emotionally speaking. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes bored, etc., etc.

What I did find was the real world, miles apart from the fantasy world of teenagers and young adults. In this world, women don't automagically lose their looks and sex appeal when they turn 25, men aren't all Peter Pans forever needing the company of young girls to feel good about themselves and there's a lot more to life than perfect looks and getting laid every night.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

71. I actually think she's more attractive than the prostitute.

And I'm far from middle-aged.

[AZ Criminal JD]

88. The future people of the world can thank goodness there is a variety of feelings about beauty.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

91. Okay...

:shrug:

[defendandprotect]

37. Yes, she is quite beautiful ... and this is sad for the family and the children . . .

I wonder if they will stay together or divorce ---

however, we really know nothing about what their true relationship is ---

except that at the moment she seems to be willing to stand by him.

[JI7]

43. she looks like Jennifer Aniston but better

a little like Aniston but prettier and about 10 years older.

[JackRiddler]

44. Yes, and it would be nice...

If everyone on this thread didn't use her as their field of projection.

I don't know what's in her head or heart, or his, and neither do all the armchair psychologists here. (Wait a minute - that metaphor may have gone wrong somehow. But you know what I mean.)

[marions ghost]

70. Nothing wrong

with discussing the issues, even if we don't know the pricipals in person. We all know people like them, and the media is certainly making sure we know ALL about the Spitzers (more than we need or want to know).

"field of projection"--people do this with all celebrities, politicians, public figures....

What kind of people do we want running the country, esp after Boosh? Get real, we who are at their mercy --we have been sensitized... we need to know who these people are and what drives them.

Gotta discuss. That's what brings us here. Not crickets.

[moondust]

105. You have to wonder how much she knew.

And what, if anything, she tried to do about it.

An MSNBC special report the other night claimed that she, too, was very ambitious as was Eliot. Harvard law, Wall Street, etc.

Personally I think Eliot may have some kind of personality defect possibly dating back to childhood. Still hard to believe somebody would risk that much on something so dumb and believe nobody would ever find out about it.

[MichiganVote]

111. Its called sex addiction. Any sex addict in touch with his/her addiction

knows exactly what Eliot was thinking....

[moondust]

117. I was thinking more along the lines of

some underlying repressed sexuality or deviant sexual experiences in childhood.