Little Melissa

[Omaha Steve]

Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?"

Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a Valentine to?"

"Osama Bin Laden," she says.

"Why Osama Bin Laden," her father asks in shock.

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. "Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the bastard."

[TomInTib]

1. Oh, man, that's rich. nt

[varkam]

2. Good grief.

I think I need a shower after that one.

[uppityperson]

3. Valentine's Day is a Christian holiday? huh.

I thought it was to make most kids feel bad when they didn't get enough store bought valentines of the right sort from enough people. That and candy.

[Omaha Steve]

4. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day

Valentine's Day or Saint Valentine's Day is a holiday celebrated on February 14. In the Americas and Europe, it is the traditional day on which lovers express their love for each other by sending Valentine's cards, presenting flowers, or offering confectionery. The holiday is named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. The day became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.

[tavalon]

5. It's named after St. Valentine

But it's dedicated to Hallmark, much as most of these holidays have come to be. I've stopped celebrating most holidays because the original intent has been so corrupted that they really are just excuses for excessive consumerism and I don't care to join in the orgy of buying.

[Preston120]

6. I love your last line. It was great.