A friend's son was killed in Afghanistan yesterday

[Mind_your_head]

I'm very shocked at the news.....it's affecting me more than I would think it should.

I feel very conflicted because this family was very "gung-ho" 'for' the war....and this soldier (college-graduate) chose and liked his 'calling'?

I just think it's a TRAGIC TRAGIC waste of life.....as they all are in 'war'. Now it has hit 'home'. I want to ask the family, but can't (of course), "do you think the 'war' was/is WORTH it now?

M_Y_H

[still_one]

1. No you can't, and yes you are right it is a tragic waste of life, which is why

voting for the IWR had extremely serious implications

[Mind_your_head]

15. Yes, and anyone who voted for the IWR (Iraq War Resolution)

should put their own children

[Essene]

18. stop falling into the anti-war/pro-war trap. Differentiate between iraq and afghanistan. n/t

[fed-up]

24. you forgot to mention the oil pipeline that managed to get built-those that died in cargo container

at the beginning of the war and the poppy trade that has flourished (thus providing heroin to many people arond the world and destroying THEIR lives)

Don't forget the REAL reason we are in Afghanistan-OIL and the refusal of this administration to fund alternative energy and to wean our dependance off of oil. Innocent lives are also being destroyed so that bush's Oil buddies and the military industrial companies can reap tremendous profits. If legislators' children and the children of those in the oil/ME industries were forced to be the first to sign up for any wars I believe the wars would be canceled due to lack of interest.

edited to add this link:
see thread number 12 in this post
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x2772144

A police hunt for a criminal is one thing, to have a war an entire country because of one extremist group at the cost of thousands of lives and billions of US taxpayer dollars is criminal. How many more Americans have died due to lack of health care because of funding diverted from American soil to kill others? How many of the 911 rescuers are dying because our own government lied to them about the safety/quality of the air after 911. With your logic the military should be bombing D.C....Bush has killed more here at home than were killed in Afghanistan.

How many people die prematurely in the US due to pollution, lack of workplace safety standards, failing infrastructure etc...We need to take care of our own FIRST. What if all those that signed up to KILL, instead worked here in the US to make our country better?


That said, a friend's son is serving in Afghanistan. His mother is one of the sheeple and believes he is "defending our freedoms" and is gungho for the war. When he was home on leave last summer his personality was totally changed, he had the cold, dead look of someone who has targeted and killed people that he had no proof were responsible for the 911 attack. He is forever changed as a human being.

He will carry the scars of whatever he is doing over there for a lifetime. He will have to continue to believe the propoganda to accept that the killing of innocents is "okay".

It is hard to know what to say to him and his mother...so most gets left unsaid...

I am sorry for the loss of your friend's son...

[caligirl]

2. I thing the war in Afghanistan is supported here. Not Iraq. But if

they supported what their son chose to do and now he is gone, they maybe able to reconcile the loss less painfully if thats possible. At this point whose side they were on is useless and they just need to grieve a terrible loss. What I find so awful is the short change they got in Afghanistan due to *. That for sure cost many soldiers their lives.

[still_one]

6. The problem is they screwed that up also at Tora Bora

in addition, they diverted resources to Iraq, which not only was unecessary but a LIE

The Taliban is also gaining more strengh

what idiots we have running our country

[caligirl]

10. and very disloyal to Afghani people. I am sure they are anxious for Nov.

[still_one]

12. I hope we win, but more importantly, I hope we do something about it /nt

[Essene]

17. Tora Bora, but we also didnt need to treat the taliban on par with al qaeda

The taliban is more like a wide tribal affiliation among warlords and clans.

We should made our focus about taking out al qaeda, while basically buying off taliban warlords when possible. Making the taliban on par with international terrorists... and then trying to literally eradicate them... was just dumb.

Our enemy was al qaeda.

Our sole purpose should have been to destroy al qaeda.

If we had made that more clear when we invaded afghanistan, i think things would have gone better. Likewise, if we hadn't been distracted in Iraq... much of the world would be a better place now.

[soothsayer]

21. we should have stopped the taliban from destroying the Bamiyan

Buddhas in the summer before 911

[still_one]

27. and I'll bet if you ask most Americans what you are talking about, they won't know

which is part of the problem

They want to keep their head in the sand

[NNN0LHI]

25. Not so

I have been against the Afghan invasion and occupation since before it began.

My posts here before from years ago will confirm that.

Don

[ingac70]

3. If that is what the guy wanted...

his being "gung-ho" and all, be sad he is gone, but don't be sad for the way he went. He obviously wouldn't want it that way.

Please do not ask his family that. That is ultimately their own business if they want to sacrifice their kids to this bullshit, and they are the ones that will have to live with the guilt, if they have any.

[pinto]

4. Ah, sorry to hear of you and your friends' loss.

[texastoast]

5. So very sorry

It is tratic and stupid.

Hopefully, the late patriot left no children.

[Mind_your_head]

9. No ....no children (or wife).......

He was (supposedly) doing 'secrect stuff' for the military......wouldn't discuss what he did at all

Makes my mind wander off into al sorts of directions.....

a) didn't want to admit to his Christian family all that he was 'into'
b) I dunno.....all the 'secret' stuff now, to me, means.....HIDING ILLEGAL, UNCONSCIOUABLE STUFF. :shrug:

[texastoast]

13. It's a shame

how the military will use really gung-ho people to do their dirtiest deeds. It's always helpful (to the military) that they leave no loose ends like children or spouses. Parents just have to deal with it. It's just crazy.

[Mind_your_head]

14. Yep, it's crazy....

and flat-out WRONG (as you most likely know).

[CRF450]

22. Well, if they're "gung-ho" people...

That may mean there very willing to do dirty work and do some tough stuff.

[Catshrink]

7. I'm sorry to learn this.

It hits very close to home -- my nephew will be deployed to Afghanistan in a few months. He will be training the Afghan police force. He's gung-ho, his mom is gung-ho and his aunties are worried sick.

[MannyGoldstein]

8. That Is Awful, Awful

My sympathies to all.

[Binka]

11. As A Mother Who Nearly Lost Her First Born In Iraq Just Love Them

The pain is so great, the grief so overwhelming, you gotta let them get over the shock. Love them.

[Essene]

16. Afghanistan was a valid action and his life was not in vain. PERIOD

Making an issue of the war's legitimacy among family would be disgraceful.



Our mission in afghanistan was legitimate and i find it personally disgusting when folks pretend it was not.

Shall i mention people i know who died on 9/11? THAT was a waste of life.

Our fight against al qaeda is valid, as is our attempt to help stabilize afghanistan (although i dont support making the taliban equal enemies as al qaeda).

The troops there are fighting the REAL war.

The war our leaders turned their backs on to invade iraq. Those soliders out there are doing it for america, regardless of how we feel about the task.

A fallen soldier in afghanistan should get your RESPECT, not your rants about how he lived and died for nothing...

But dont forget tora bora.

[CRF450]

23. Very right.

If we had a real commander in chief, we wouldn't have even bothered Iraq, and BinLadin would have been caught a long time ago.

[burrowowl]

31. Afghanistan and Taliban

Should have been a police action not a war action!
Yes, the soldier's death was in vain. However, I am sad at his death and they should be consoled.

[nadinbrzezinski]

19. Let it go

a soldier died in a war. Parents will live with that

It does not matter, or will not matter, in thirty years what for.

As to secret stuff... anybody who has served (raises hand) or has sent somebody to war (again raises hand) understand this thing called Operational Security... which basically means, sorry I cannot tell you what I am doing at the risk of putting my life and other's at risk. It may be something as simple as the schedule for a convoy... or a super, duper, green beret, seal secret mission. Regardless, MOST Americans have fofgotten this... and yes, loose lips sink ships (ww II saying) true then, and true today.

As to the soldier, TAPS, and to the family, don't ask. EVER.

If they raise the point, then you may touch on it, But you should NEVER raise that question.

[libodem]

20. tragic waste of life

is well put. Sorry for your friend's loss. I hope she changes her position.

[VP505]

26. It is a tragic waste of life,

somehow we (progressives) are going to have to figure out a way to put a stop to our Government and specifically our President misusing our military personnel. Perhaps that is something we should be asking our Candidates?

[earth mom]

28. The real pain will come if they ever realize that their son died for no good reason.

Just like Cindy Sheehan realized. How tragic is that?

[Mind_your_head]

29. Thank you all

for your thoughtful responses to this thread. Thank you (on behalf of this man's family) for your condolences.

I would NEVER EVER say/do anything that would be disrespectful (as I stated in the OP), or cause distress of any sort to the family/other friends, so some of the 'cautioning' was unnecessary (hopefully I only make an *ss of myself on the internet from time to time and not very often in 'real life' ;-) ). We all, who know this family and this soldier, (and the family themselves) all surely hold our own thoughts about the war, the 'cause', the ultimate price this man paid, etc. which we will "respectfully" keep to ourselves mostly. I very much appreciate DU for being a place that I could vent my shock, anger, frustration, and a whole host of feelings/thoughts ..... things I couldn't say out-loud to any of the other 'grievers' (even though some may be thinking very similar things) without sounding like an *ss.

For the poster(s) who said that they've got folks they care about coming back from 'theatre' or going soon.....I don't really know what to say.....I hope that they come back "happy & whole".

Thank you again DU'ers.

Peace,
M_Y_H

edit: typo

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

30. They've no doubt already answered that question for themselves.

Somehow I doubt their answer is "yes".

[Disturbed]

32. The Forgotten Afghan War will go on for many years.

I don't think that Afghanistan will ever be conquered by the Western Powers.

The Afghanis probably hate the Western Imperialists more than they do the Taliban & al Q.

[Feron]

33. I'm sorry for their loss.

Regardless of their position on the war, it's every parent's nightmare to bury a child.

Asking that question right now would, imho, be cruel. Just be there for your friend in his or her time of need.

As for your question, I wouldn't be surprised if his death spurs them to rally for the war even more. Nobody wants to admit that a loved one died in vain.

But then again, your friend may reassess his or her position. Time will tell.