What is the best approach to take when you discover your child is taking drugs?

[I Have A Dream]

I don't have children; I'm asking for a friend who wants to handle this situation correctly.

She discovered some Vicodin tablets in her teenager's bedroom. (I think that her child is 16 years old.)

Any advice that you could offer would be greatly appreciated.

[endarkenment]

1. If you support the war on some drugs: call the police!

Why should your precious child be treated any different than those 'other' kids?

[ixion]

4. oh yeah...bring the cops into it makes everything better

:sarcasm:

[endarkenment]

6. Having been through this with my kids...

I know parents who actually went this route with their own kid and were determined to get those 'other' kids (you know, the bad kids) in serious legal trouble. I was amazed. At least they were consistent.

You talk. Talk honestly. And make it an absolute rule that anything your kid tells you stays in your house.

[ixion]

9. yep, I think that's the best way

otherwise you end up ruining the life of the child and the fabric of the family.

[ixion]

2. my mom told me to talk to her, and she was always very upfront...as a result

we could talk about almost everything as I got older.

[Evergreen Emerald]

3. time to take her to the doctor and a counselor.

[ixion]

8. Until the WoD is ended, that's not a good solution, IMO

once you throw a kid into the gaping maw of 'the State' you've pretty much ruined their life, and their family.

[Evergreen Emerald]

11. they are only mandatory reporters for sexual and physical assault--not drugs.

And I have seen kids get into the system. They get probation and required treatment. But, a counselor is not "the state."

[ixion]

19. I disagree, but it's not my family, it's yours

so enjoy.

[H2O Man]

14. That's the best answer. n/t

[Rosa Luxemburg]

5. where did the teen get the Vicodin?

at school, from friends or at home? They would be grounded and if the source is school then the school should be approached.

[I Have A Dream]

7. I don't know where he got it. We're meeting for dinner tonight...

because my friend needs to talk about this. I'll know more tonight.

[tekisui]

10. Perscription drugs can be very dangerous.

I would encourage your friend to have a serious talk about the potential consequences that come from abusing drugs. But, I would also encourage her to be level-headed and reasonable. Drugs are prevalent, and flying off the handle can make things worse.

[JVS]

12. Make her take them all, just like traditionally is done with a pack of smokes

[dorkulon]

30. I sure hope this is a joke.

Okay, I'm assuming it is.

[Hamlette]

31. this is a seriously bad idea

taking prescription drugs is different from smoking cigarettes and could endanger her health.

[zabet]

13. Every pill is a seperate

offense if the child were to get
arrested with these pills. Each
individual pill is a FELONY. Each
pill confiscated carry a 'tax' that
has to be paid within 24 hours of
confiscation or that amount doubles.
5 pills = 5 felonies
Explain not only the physical dangers
of taking prescription drugs but also
the legal implications. At 16 he can
be charged and tried as an adult.
Find out where he got the pills, if they
came from a 'friend', odds are that 'friend'
took them from their parents' medicine
cabinet.

[iamthebandfanman]

15. yeah, just talk with him

just so it starts out as , 'im not mad at you"

one things for sure tho, addictions to perscription drugs and run wild and get outa hand relatively quickly depending on his ability to resist addiction...
some people are better at keeping things occasional fun times than others... because of mental or genetic disposition.

what i find amasing is that, from my experiences from being a teenager in the 90s and turning 18 for the new century, is that most of these kids are turning to pills because its HARDER TO GET CAUGHT. so you see, even the war on drugs can effect this indirectly with undesired consiquences.
they are small, they dont have a smell, and you dont have to smoke them. most people who smoked weed or would be likely to smoke weed as a youth are now turning to pills so they WONT GET CAUGHT!

glad you did find this out, as i say... prescriptions can be a hell of a battle once they take hold of you mentally and physically.
then again, some people are lucky and can kick any habit at anytime.

anywho, be sure to thank any drug law enforement agents for your their sons curiousity about perscription drugs.

God forbid anybody smoke a joint!

[CoffeeCat]

16. This is tough...

I am no expert, and I'm not even sure I have an answer. Without knowing this
child's background, it's difficult to say. Understanding why this child is doing
this, determines how you handle it.

It's possible that this child was experimenting...and it was an atypical act,
and that this 16-year old otherwise is functioning well and not in trouble.

However, it's possible that there is some underlying reason for the drug use and the
drug use may be a device used to quell pain or stress or a deep problem.

I think you have to get to the bottom of what is going on in this teenager's life.

Drug use could be, but is not always, a sign that something is very, very wrong and
the child is medicating themselves to avoid pain. That may not be the case in this
situation, so the parents need to find out if this is a rare, recreational thing that
probably won't happen again--or a sign of a bigger problem.

Do the parents have a close, open relationship with this teenager? That's obviously
essential if you're planning on having any credibility or influence in your child's life.

I wish these parents the best of luck. You're a good, caring friend to be so concerned.

[Bonobo]

17. The important thing is "why". Find the answer to that and solve it.

Substance abuse is a symptom of a problem which soon can become the problem itself.

At this point, Vicodin shouldn't present that big of a problem in and of itself. Tell your friend to talk, talk, talk.

Pot would be 1000 times better than vicodin.

[iamthebandfanman]

18. could be any number of reasons

most kids do it for fun tho, and it just turns into something else...

like i said in my other post in this topic, we can all thank the war on drugs for kids turning to substances that are hard to get caught with.
pills are small, dont smell like anything, and you dont hafta smoke it.

[Bonobo]

22. Yeah and you eat and feel nothing until they kick in, so you eat some more...

Really bad idea and that's also why even a synthetic marijuana pill will never be as good as smoking it. You can't stop when you've had enough.

[iamthebandfanman]

23. ive always been curious about THC pills

as ive wondered how the body and mind would respond to someone trying to take to many... as you know when u smoke it u are incapable of taking that much THC... u either get tired of smoking or fall asleep. lol.
altho i would dare say that giving the majority of pot smokers a good clean way of doing it outweighes the few people who would end up abusing it...
i guess the same can be said about most prescription drugs to tho eh ?

also, most pill users i know dont swallow the pill... they snorted it.. so it reacts way faster.. infact i had a friend pass away last month from overdose. found crushed methadones and oxycontin in the house.

[Bonobo]

25. I've had a few unpleasant experiences.

Sometimes hash is so strong, it puts you away before you know it. Not that fun IMHO.

Also, pot brownies can do that to you.

Want to hear a funny pot brownie experience? Watch this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnZb5wi_jsU

[stillcool]

20. And NA meeting is always..

an eye opener..or an AA meeting for that matter. Listen to "What happened, what it was like, and what it is like now".

[iamthebandfanman]

24. depends on the NA meeting

my mothers was a little shop of horrors! she was offered pills EVERY night before and after the meeting.

[stillcool]

38. I think you are right...

about that. NA meetings tend to be smaller, and rougher. I think I've been to every type of meeting there is, but then again South Florida is probably the Addiction Capital of the US, if not the world. There are meetings everywhere and almost every day you can find a meeting at any hour. I think every meeting is it's own "Little Shop of Horrors", which was my point. I've known many addicts who've brought their children to 'Open Meetings', to try and avert the continuation of the cycle, and understand what addiction is all about.

[0007]

21. Share

Sharing
by Ron Carnell

We should share if we would keep
Our blessing from above.
Ceasing to share we cease to have.
Such is the Law of Love.

[Bigmack]

26. True story....

A couple we know were kids in the late 60's... took every drug known and several that were not known.

At a big gathering that included this couple and their two sons, the dad said 'I told our boys..."Do NOT bring drugs into this house... unless you have enough to share!"

Even I was aghast!

His kids laughed and said it was true... and that the folks always took stuff from their stash.

Interesting... the "boys" are now men, and both are professionals and pillars of the community.

Not the way I would have handled it... just a different perspective on "What to do when the kids do drugs."

[AlertLurker]

27. Phone in an anonymous tip?

Sorry - couldn't resist.

Seriously - she should gently confront the child and attempt to have a discussion about it - make sure the child understands the incredibly serious stakes of the game - addiction and incarceration can be seriously life-ending. I don't know much about Vicodin, other than the facts that it is both dangerous and highly addictive, but stuff like this can absolutely RUIN your entire life, and the lives of the parents involved. If the activity does not cease, perhaps she could look into taking the child on a tour of a substance abuse treatment centre...scare her straight, so to speak.

I'm lucky in that the most serious drugs my kids ever took (that I know of) was pot, and I remember vividly many arguments I had with them regarding it's use. I certainly could have handled it better, but at the time, there were so few resources available...everything is so different now, and kids seem to grow up so much faster...16-year olds are not known for their rationality, but GENTLE confrontation seems to be the best way to go. Coming down excessively harshly on them can and does often lead to backlash. Kids will be kids and unless there is a serious addiction issue, most will attempt to be reasonable.

Good Luck.

[fed-up]

28. what kept my son off drugs was going with me when he was about 11 or 12 to help

clean out my oldest sister's apartment when she was put in jail for 6 months for heroin possession.

We had lots of long talks about various drugs and their effects and also the fact that alcoholism/drug abuse runs in our family.

He also had a friend with an alcoholic mother so that has pretty much steered him away from alcohol.

The best class I ever took in junior college was a health class. The book was Drugs, Society and Human Behavior
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/103-2975591-4054223?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=drugs+society+human+behavior&x=0&y=0

The teacher explained that he was not there to tell us to take drugs or not, but that his job was to inform us of their effects. This was way back in the late 1970's and whatever I learned kept me out of the drug culture. I also attended a few AA meetings with my mother in the 1980's. Educate without distorting the facts. Take him on a trip to skid row...

I recently lost my 45 year old brother to drug/alcohol abuse and I am pretty sure that he was self-medicating for untreated mental health issues. Bipolar runs in our family...

They need to have some long honest talks and find out how much, how long and if he knows why he has been experimenting.

THey also need to help him find activities to do to keep him away from his druggie friends.

Good luck..

[L. Coyote]

29. Education, education, education. A "child" of what age?

If a mature child, a good place to start is research skills. Ask, "Do you know how to research side effects of medications?" for example.

Even doctors do not take time to discuss every aspect of a drug. Everyone needs the research skills to access information about drugs and health. Research is an important skill, and easy today (not long ago, health research entailed a journey to a med school library). Those who possess it will make wiser decisions about all drug use, prescription or self-medicated.

[Javaman]

32. Do what my dad did for me...

Took me on a tour of a half way house.

Made me clean for life.

[northzax]

33. it depends on the situation

does she have reason to suspect he is abusing them? (the typical signs include withdrawal from family and social life, dropping grades, behaviour changes?)

how many vicodin are we talking about? 3? 30? 300? makes a difference, imho.

[I Have A Dream]

35. I don't know all fo the details yet. I'm meeting her for dinner tonight...

so that she can talk about it. (She's a divorced mother, and the father really doesn't want to be involved with any "complications" involving the children.)

[northzax]

36. it's probably just childish experimentation

especially if she's been open about talking to her kids about drugs. if that's all it is, ground him, make him do some community service, tell him she loves him, but that sort of thing is not ok in her house. and then never bring it up again (unless you have serious cause)

when I was 16, there were worse things than Vicodin floating around my room.

[zalinda]

34. At sixteen, kids feel like they're adults

First, she has to explain why and how she found the pills. Because if she doesn't, the kid is going to become resistant to anything that comes after, "I found some pills in your room". Finding out why, is the key. Making sure that she talks to the kid in an even tone, you can't be angry or accusing. That is the hard part. What I told my kid was that it was stupid to take drugs. Look how much money you waste. Would you rather spend the money on buying drugs, or buying a car? (Well, for my kid it was a newer, faster computer.) Anyway, I keyed into what was most important to him. Is it school, is it sports, is it sex, you get the idea, when drugs are involved, you don't do well, and besides that you look laughable to other people who are not on drugs.

If the kid is logical, you go one way, if emotions are more in the mix, you go another way. There are plenty of dead celebrities or has been celebrities, to more than get the point across.

zalinda

[alfredo]

37. It's self medication. Go at it from that direction too.

[mdmc]

39. lay down the law at the first sign of use

and never stop loving.

God bless.

[Jed Dilligan]

40. Give him a bag of weed

at least you can't OD on that.