George Bush's resume for when he is unemployed on 1-20-2009

[LSK]

Found this on another forum:


GEORGE W. BUSH


1600 Pennsylvania Avenue


Washington, DC 20520


EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:


Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.


Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.


College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.


PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:


I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.


I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.


I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.


With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:


I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.


I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.


I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.


With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.


ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:


I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.


I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.


I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.


I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.


I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.


I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.


I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.


I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.


I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.


I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.


My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.


My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.


I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.


I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.


I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.


I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.


I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.


I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.


I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.


I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.


I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.


I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).


I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.


I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, 2001, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.


I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.


I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.


I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.


I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.


In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.


I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.


I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.


I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.


RECORDS AND REFERENCES:


All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.


All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.


All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

[gateley]

1. I would love to see him not draw any crowds to his speaking engagements --

like Alberto G.

[HughBeaumont]

2. Wiki Entry, 2025:

George Walker Bush (born July 6, 1946) was the forty-third and worst fucking President of the United States of America, originally inaugurated on January 20, 2001 after an obviously let's-rape-the-USA partisan Supreme Court intervened on a state-decided-election and usurped the rightful position of the Democratic Candidate Albert Gore. Bush was first selected in the 2000 presidential election, and, thanks to a little more theft and fraud . . . and a fuckton of American voters sharing the same brain, re-selected for a second term in the 2004 presidential election. He previously served as the forty-sixth Governor of Texas from 1995 to 2000, shitting that state all to hell in just about every category, and is the annointed son of the late former shitbag United States President and CIA spook George Herbert Walker Bush.

Following college, Bush worked in his family's oil businesses before making an unsuccessful run for the U.S. House of Representatives in 1978. He later co-owned the Texas Rangers baseball team before returning to politics in a campaign for Governor of Texas. He defeated Ann Richards through an assload of dirty trickery from Karl Rove, playing strictly on the homophobia of the Republican voters, and was elected Governor of Texas in 1994. Bush won the presidency in 2000 as the Republican candidate in one of the most blatant thefts in American history, in which he lost the nationwide popular vote, but won the electoral vote. He mostly got away with it due to a complicit media, spineless Clinton-and-Democratic-hating public, fucked up court system and unprecedented corporate power and dollars.

As president, Bush burned the surplus by pushing through a $1.3 trillion tax cut program, mostly for the wealthy who didn't need it and the No Child Left Behind Act, also proven to be a miserable failure to America's youth. In October 2001, after the MIHOP attacks on September 11, 2001 (© 2001, Republican Party, All Rights Reserved), Bush pretty much was given carte blanche to just about anything he wanted and announced a global War on Terrorism . . . "War on Terrorism" . . . hoo boy, did he actually declare war on a noun? . .. anyway, and ordered an invasion of Afghanistan to overthrow the Taliban, destroy Al-Qaeda, and to capture Osama bin Laden, which he failed at.

In March 2003, Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq, asserting, through falsified evidence, that Iraq was in violation of UN Security Council Resolution 1441 and that the war was necessary for the protection of the United States. Of course, the tits-up Congress that rubberstamped everything he threw at them approved this debacle, and the blood on their hands will never be cleansed. It cost 43,934 American soldiers lives and an estimated 3.5 million Iraqi lives and did not completely end until 2016, the longest occupation or war of a sovereign nation in American history. A memorial in Washington D.C. is being planned for the Americans lost in Iraq and Afghanistan. The "War On Terrorism" was regarded as "the failure of failures". Anyone see a pattern here, or is it just me?

Running as a self-described "war president" in the midst of the Iraq War,<5> Bush was re-elected in 2004 by a whole lotta fraud and a steaming pile of 50-some million idiots who cowered to and believed the thought of "them Ay-Rabs invadin' mah town!".<6> His presidential campaign against Senator John Kerry was successful despite controversy over the fact that Bush's administration didn't do a single goddamned thing right in four years.<7><8> After his re-election, Bush continued to send America on a rocket-ride to the abyss. His domestic approval had declined from 90 percent (the highest ever recorded by The Gallup Organization) immediately after the September 11, 2001 (© 2001, Republican Party, All Rights Reserved) attacks to a low of 26 percent (in a Newsweek poll taken in June 2007),<9> the lowest level for any sitting president in 35 years.<10>

When asked about the Bush Presidency, most Americans generally have four reactions: they either decline to comment, make obscene gestures followed by anti-liberal, anti-Clinton and/or anti-homosexual remarks, sob uncontrollably, or just shrug their shoulders and walk away shaking their heads in shame.

Hey, I think it would make a HELL of a historical tidbit!

[Imagevision]

3. Bush speaking engagements? more like return to puuting fireworks in frogs mouths...(seriously!)

[NC_Nurse]

4. My GOD, that's depressing!

:-(

I doubt he'll ever pay for his crimes.

[hfojvt]

5. the sad fact is, that he does not need a job

even before he was selected, he was making something like $600,000 from his investments. Now on top of that, he gets a pension from the taxpayers to the tune of about $200,000 a year, plus medical care funded by the taxpayers and secret service protection funded by the taxpayers. Probably he will ghostwrite a couple of books and those will be pimped by Limbaugh, Hannity and Billo, etc. He's quite likely to live out the rest of his life in luxury and self indulgence and never face any earthly justice for the damage he has done.

It's enough to make you wish there was a hell.

[louis-t]

6. This is pretty good. Stupid only bought a 2% share of Rangers.

From what I've read, it was only 2% share he bought for $600,000. Money came from the $800,000 he got from cashing in his stock 30 days before Harken(?)or maybe Spectrum 7 collapsed. What I don't understand is how a $600,000 investment turned into $14 million-what he got when he sold his ownership. The value of the team merely tripled, I believe, after the stadium was built (at a time when teams were increasing in value anyway). I must be missing something.

Edit: Oh, bookmarked.

[Dukkha]

7. if it's for 01-20-2009

then "I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice" can be replaced with:
Made a pledge to bring in Osama Bin Laden 'Dead or Alive' then retracted it by saying 'I truly am not that concerned about him.'

and the first president to lose two wars during his terms

[Myrina]

8. dont forget:

(and maybe I missed it): "I amassed a bigger budget deficit in 7 years than all of my predecessors, over 200 years, COMBINED."