And now, a roundup of the TRULY minor Democratic candidates...

[Recursion]

Roland Aranjo
http://www.democracyrevival.com/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=82672
"As Americans, we have the right to revive our democracy"
(This guy is actually pretty cool)

Warren R. Ashe
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=26634
"I am involved with time travel communications that are real. And capable of time travel contact throughout history itself. I also build flying saucers that are capable of going to another solar system at high warp speed. The time travel transmissions have communicated at least and no less than 500 years into the future. I have used my saucers built by hand at Edgecombe Community College in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. That has already since 1983 taken sperm and DNA into the future. Into the 22nd, 23rd, and 24th centuries. The methods I used are through flux capacitation and wormhole technology."

George Ballard
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=15721
http://aboveavgjane.blogspot.com/2007/01/george-ballard-for-president.html (not an official site; just a blog mention of him)

Christina Gerasimos Billings-Elias
http://christinabillings.com/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=82713
"Christina born to be President of 'Our America.' ©™. 'The Chosen One," ©™ as proclaimed by Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt, friends of Theodore and Evelyn Gerasimos, first Greek in Detroit 1890. People's King of the Greeks emanating from Spartan Royalty Warriors."

Robert Boyer
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=82776

Willie Carter
http://www.williecarterforpresident.com/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=15697
"If I am elected President, I will take the God fearing approach, addressing the needs of all the people of our nation, the homeless, jobless, the elderly, the business community, moving forward to reduce our national debt, and dependency on foreign resources, fair international trade, maintaining a strong military, strong foreign diplomacy, and stopping the cycle of violence across our nation."

Ryan Joseph Brady
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=69564

Randy Crow
http://www.randycrow.com/ (warning: you'll want to take a shower after this...)
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=21101
"I am involved in politics to get rid of filthy communists and lots of others."

Michael Forrester
http://forrester4president.com/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=69585

Heather Fox
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=101192

Dory Frank
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=82957
"Presidential priorities include: 1. Getting our troops of Iraq as soon as possible 2. Pass the Schip program for children's health insurance whose parents make between $20-60,000. 3. Provide more assistance to Hurricane Katrina victims. The government has not provided enough assistance. 4. Provide more money in the WK program by cutting the military budget, increasing taxes on the upper tax bracket. 5. Eliminating the death penalty until such time as the judicial is fixed 6. Provide more public housing for lower income citizens (elderly, etc.)"

Albert Hamburg
"I make more people mad than I make want to vote for me."
(special note: he has apparently lost 17 consecutive elections for President)

Keith Russell Judd
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=15574
"The Federal Government produces its own currency every year. The Federal Government can merely operate on its own self produced money rather than pretend to borrow it to pay private banks to store it and regulate interest rates, and then tax it."

Karl Kreuger
http://krueger08.com/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=69600
"I intend to put this nation on a course to be energy independent within 10 years of my election. After all, John Kennedy took us to the moon and back in 10 years with technology that didn’t exist when he began, it should not be too difficult for us to become energy independent in the same amount of time using technology that we already have."

John Joseph Kennedy
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=69596
http://www.johnjosephkennedy.com/
"I will stop the Bush family's manipulation of the elements of nature (hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes) which have wrecked insurmountable havoc on our environment and disturbed the natural-flow of all life on this planet. They (especially Bush Sr.) have done this for personal, political and financial gain and greed,"

Dal LaMogna
http://www.lamagnaforpresident.com/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=692
(Note: he produced "Iraq For Sale": good docu)

Monroe Lee
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=67882
"Abortion is an issue that I as your President if elected, I truly believe that it is one of the areas that I think that I am not going to be put in the positions to fight for or against it. My mom had 13 children alive and raised all on the farm."
(Honestly there's something kind of touching, if sad, about this guy -- read his poorly-spelled issue statements at the vote-smart site)

Frank Lynch
http://franklynch.org/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=101071
"a lifelong Republican who converted to become the new ideological leader of the Democratic Party and the most exciting and important Democratic Candidate for President, leading a grassroots revolution for energy independence, free healthcare, free daycare, free college, healing the planet, anti-globalization and abolishing the income tax!"

Lee L. Mercer
http://www.mercerforpresident2008.com/
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=69607
Goals include "To prove The Klu Klux Klan and the Communist Party are gangsters and organize crime in Business and Commerce through Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence ... To prove that every person in the United States and world is hooked up on an Eye Spy Community-Military Intelligence (All Three) Electronic surveillance hot-wires approved by the United States Congress for the U.S. Government Electronic Surveillance of every citizen in America ... To Prove I will be the 2nd Negro President of the United States of America in 2008 ... To Prove President George Walker Bush, Jr. and other Public Officials have been Impeached by the United States Congress in 2004 for torture of me and my family, capital murder in my family, Espionage and other crimes against the state and humanity ... To Prove the government owes me Zillions of Dollars in money and is refraining to pay me and my business ... To Prove Jeb Bush is all in my house with disease ... To Prove My only Guardian Former Governor of Texas Ann Richards has just joined me MERCER FOR PRESIDENT CAMPAIGN ... To Prove I have solved every crime in America and the world for the last 15 years dating back to before Christ"

Grover Cleveland Mullins, Jr.
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=83514
"1) its time everyone paid there tax,s not just the middleclass and poor those who make over 175000,00 should pay dollar for dollar tax,s"

Michel Anissa Powell
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=83533
"1. support of our spreading democracy in the world as we know it starting now 2007 2. solve the poverty in america and the world 3. finding cures for boils and other skin diseases like cancer ect. basically i would move around finances that needed to be moved to programs to help us all iam the one for the job and yes politicing is my career i know who iam here for and thats the decent people a waiting a president that really knows whats going on from the streets to the federal chiefs iam the federal chief for the job"

Larry Keith Reed
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=83553
"1. If I am elected? I will present and achieve the consist of the United State's Congress and U.S Office of Budget and Management to approve a one quarter to one half million dollar monetary entitlement for all of the citizen's of the United States to own a home, transportation, pay bills, and have money between employment. I also will achieve a similar entitlement for all of the people across the world. Furthermore, I will try to secure a budget and agreement to assure that all of our people are provided enough money for food and clothes, etc.! 2. I will approve a budget that will provide for all of our citizen's a health and medical care insurance plan for free. And, I will achieve a national budget to supplement every employer with enough money to provide sufficient employment for all of our citizens across the nation. 3. I will end all War! I will achieve the above presidential budget by expecting each citizen to sign an agreement to never willfully or recklessly commit any intent and act that is a crime that would cause the unjust or unconstitutional death or loss of life or property to a human being."

Ole Savior
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=20318
http://www.ole-savior.org/
"Dismantle the nuclear and chemical weapons of the world, lower health costs, make this a better world for everyone now and keeping the promise."

John Sawyer III
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=101075
"Gimme a Break. Even the damn French use nuclear energy."

Scott Sheldon
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=69621
"US out of the Mideast. Restore civil liberties at home. Abolish religious fundamentalism in our government. Protect our environment, quality of life, and moral high ground."

Jim Wright (no, not that Jim Wright)
http://www.vote-smart.org/bio.php?can_id=25404
"Establish a secure country based on the citizens vote to protect the rights of the citizen. If we are to continue as a republic and democracy my platform must must become part of our constitution. To do so will require two thirds of the states to radify that goal. I have named it the "Citizens bill of rights." #1 Remove the IRS. #2 Remove the Federal Reserve System to establish a secure money system. #3 End the conflict in the middle east and other places where we are not needed."

Final thought:

Now, before we make fun of any of these men and women (which we will), I want to just point out that they have a platform they believe in enough to spend their time and money promoting it. We don't have a problem with too many candidates for office; we have a problem with too few. I applaud their being willing to go out there and try something so quixotic (even Albert Hamburg). What have you done to advance what you believe in today?

[Truth2Tell]

1. Jeb Bush is all in my house with disease

nuff said.

[Recursion]

3. That calls for a cat macro

[Ian David]

2. Forget those guys. I'm voting for Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey! n/t

[hootinholler]

4. Kicked, Rec'd and bookmarked.

The next smartass that tells me my candidate is a kook, gets this thread back in reply.

Thank You!

-Hoot

[geardaddy]

5. Ahh, Ole Savior.

(pronounced like the Scandinavian name "Ole") That guy is a regular attendee of the MN state convention. He's run for governor as long as I've been active in politics, it seems.

[mzmolly]

6. I demand an Aranjo avatar!

:P

[emlev]

7. Thanks for asking. Here's what I've done for what I believe in today:

On NH 'recount':

1) Edited blog item about the NH 'recount'
2) Posted updates on NH situation on DU
3) Contacted Kucinich campaign to nail down best way to contribute to 'recount' and posted it in several places online
4) Contributed money to 'recount'
5) Called the New Hampshire Secretary of State's office to find out if the deadline for 'recount' payments had been met
6) Drafted a petition regarding changes needed in NH SoS actions and state law, which may be released later, consulted with colleagues about draft
7) Contacted Kucinich's campaign about strategy for raising money for 'recount' and to give feedback on problems with volunteers answering their phones
8) Oh, I forgot this was "today" because it was after midnight last night: typed out text of a .pdf file related to 'recount' so text could easily be posted on blog
9) emailed contacts near NH seeking volunteer 'recount' observers

Other election justice work:
1) advised an elected official in my state about how to get help with problems with a local election and about the makeup of an election committee she's going to try to create
2) communicated with colleagues about all of the above

On a local project to stop aerial spraying of my community:
1) Typed notes from last week's visits to legislators
2) Worked on followup letters to those legislators
3) Advised colleague about disability access accommodations
4) communicated with colleagues about various pieces of effort

Still to do:
1) edit an article for a website
2) transcribe an interview for a different website
3) partcipate in election reform conference call
4) continue work on letters to legislators
5) continued communication with colleagues about all this
6) if I have time, go to local election reform event
7) continue monitoring NH situation, doing what I can

Thanks for that. Now I understand the dirty dishes in the sink and uncompleted work much better.
Actually, I took the time to list this both because it helps me remember that I am not actually wasting my time and so anyone who reads this will notice that the actual tasks of making change are often things you already have the skills to do!

[Recursion]

8. Michael Forrester proves that the most embarrassing two words in web design...

...are "skip intro".