All I Want for Christmas Is a Shot of Paralyzing Toxins to the Forehead

[Orwellian_Ghost]

Giving the gift of cosmetic change is now hotter than ever this holiday season!



Want to give the breast holiday present ever? How about the gift that keeps on giving: Plastic surgery!

We've all heard about high schoolers begging for -- and getting -- nose jobs for graduation or sugar daddies funding their girlfriends' lunchtime lipo, but now, just in time for Christmas, you can give the one you love a BOTOX® Cosmetic (Botulinum Toxin Type A) gift card. Just wait until you see the (lack of) expression on her face when she unwraps what she thinks is a $50 Bed, Bath & Beyond gift certificate but is actually the pathway to three-to-six months of eternal youth.

"Dear Journalist," the press release addressed to me read, "For your Holiday Gift Guide, please consider a story about taking the stress out of finding the perfect holiday gift! A recent international survey found that 52% of women 'of a certain age' would like to receive cosmetic injectables as a gift, which begs the question ... how do you wrap it?"

(This email came to me in response to a request I put out for "fitness-related gift guide ideas for young women, from soy candles to the hottest running shoes." So the fact that a PR agent translated my query into a plastic surgery inquest just tickles me. But I'm glad he did because now, I know what to get my notoriously hard-to-buy-for best friend with totally unsightly crow's feet.)

To the rescue are doctors' offices now selling gift cards for physician-administered aesthetic treatments, including BOTOX® Cosmetic, JUVÉDERM™ dermal fillers, laser treatments and facials. The cost pretty much rules it out as a Secret Santa gift, but here's a quick breakdown of the price: The average BOTOX treatment for vertical frown lines (those little monsters that furrow in deep between your eyebrows) is $300 to $500. The effects of the treatment can last up to four months. So for just $3-$5 per day, you're giving the gift of baby-smooth skin ... for cheaper than a daily Peppermint White Mocha Latte from Starbucks.

If BOTOX is so last year for your group of friends, why not try JUVÉDERM, a type of hyaluronic acid dermal filler? As my (now favorite) press release cheerfully chirps, "...the gift of JUVÉDERM™ will keep on giving because it's the only HA dermal filler currently FDA approved to last up to one year! Much better than a fruitcake!" I love whoever wrote this.

......


http://www.alternet.org/healthwellness/71018/

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. Oh boy!

That certainly beats the colonoscopy I want for Christmas!

[Raejeanowl]

2. I'm Getting Frown Lines Right Now

Puzzling why anyone would drop $300-500 to lose their facial expressions. Although I could use a little lipo under the jawline. Maybe next Christmas?

[Skittles]

3. what's really disconcerting is

older people whose faces are unlined and frozen with age-appropriate hands :o

I'm with you - I'll take wrinkles over lack of expression ANY day. I think the problem with plastic surgery is a tweak here and there is fine but if you're trying to stop or reverse time eventually you end up looking like The Joker.

[sandnsea]

4. Lentils

I thought everybody wanted lentils for the holidays.

:shrug:

[DemGa]

5. A free natural facelift for Christmas (and the new year)

This guy discovered an exercise to help him regain his hair, with the side-effect of toning your face. He explains how to do it free.

"The first positive side effect will be a firm-looking forehead and a younger-looking upper face. The frontalis muscles at the front of the head, the occipitalis muscles at the back of the head, and the temporalis muscles, three fan-shaped muscles around each ear, act as master muscles of the upper face. They keep the other muscles smoothly and firmly in place. But as we get older these muscles start to lose their tone and elasticity. When this happens the face starts to sag and the skin begins to droop. The signs of age are there for everyone to see.

The scalp exercise will quickly tone up these muscles, and when these muscles are toned up they pull up and back on the face. It’s almost like a face-lift but without the surgery.

The second positive side effect will be a smooth-looking forehead. The scalp exercise will definitely remove the wrinkles from the forehead. It will remove those horizontal and vertical (glabellar) lines that make a person look older. It’s a well-known fact that exercise has an invigorating effect on areas adjacent to the muscles, in this case the skin of the forehead. The exercise will make the skin of the forehead more pliable, more resilient. It will give the skin of the forehead some elasticity. Botox will also remove lines from the forehead but it does this at the expense of facial expression. The scalp exercise strengthens the muscles of the upper face; Botox deadens them."

http://www.hairloss-reversible.com/my_approach.htm

http://www.hairloss-reversible.com/default.htm

[Brewman_Jax]

6. That's a radio station give-away

That's right! One of the pop stations is giving to some lucky individual a cosmetic surgery makeover of their choice. :crazy:

[jmowreader]

8. And I would like to win that!

A couple years ago, I was making a drum on a wood lathe. My chisel caught the drum, it came off and whacked me in the nose. Now I have this lump on my nose.

The lump isn't ruining the quality of my life or anything, but I'd have it sanded off if I could do it for free.

[peekaloo]

7. A must for poker players.

the needle and the damage undone. }(

[avenger64]

9. Hey, can they botox your Knee?

I got wrinkles all over that thing.