Is Santa a Conservative?!

[Bicoastal]

Mr. Claus keeps tabs on who's naughty and nice, demonstrating a predilection torwards wiretapping and other forms of increased surveilance...

Mr. Claus does not employ human workers to make his wares, but outsources his North Pole jobs to low-paid elves (probably breaking all sorts of labor laws in the process)...

Mr. Claus has been known to pander to Christians, and his prejudice is demonstrated every year when Jewish, Buddhist, and Muslim children wake up on December 25th without a single present...

Mr. Claus is definitely on the side of large corporations, as he doesn't hesitate to put in numerous appearances at Walmart, Target, and Macy's, or do commercial endorsements for Coca-Cola...

Mr. Claus has been known to wear fur, and further mistreats animals by forcing his reindeer to make long, global journeys while pulling an obese man and several hundred thousand pounds of toys...

And last but not least, what kind of insensitive, anti-feminist statement is Mr. Claus making when he repeatedly utters his infamous "Ho Ho Ho?"

[Perry Logan]

1. Then there's that involvement with elves.

[ColbertWatcher]

2. Santa is a pedophile!? n/t

[baldguy]

3. And why has he located Claus Inc headquarters at the North Pole?

Beyond any & all environmental, health & safety and labor regulations? The AFL-CIO has been trying to unionize the elves for years.

[JohnnyLib2]

4. Uh-oh. I read on DU today that he endorsed Obama!

Santa Claus Officially Endorses Barack Obama for President! Updated at 3:51 PM

Santa Claus Officially Endorses Barack Obama for President!

(NP) North Pole - December 24, 2007

Santa Claus has officially come out to endorse Barack Obama for President of the United States. He made this statement just before leaving for his very busy evening delivering toys and other goodies to people all over the World.

"I remember that letter I got from little Barack when he was in kindergarden saying that he would like to one day be President, but wanted to make sure that Santa and the Elves also had decent working conditions and were able to safely make toys with eco-friendly materials. The kid was just way ahead of this time", said Santa before a crowd of climate change reporters in town to see the disappearing glacial formations near Santa's business center,

"When I saw that he was now running for President and wanted to take lead out of toys (http://www.suntimes.com/news/politics/obama/711047,CST-... ), I just had to tell Mrs. Claus to send him money on his website and get an Obama sticker for the sleigh, since I am hearby endorsing Barack Obama for President!", said Santa as he handed out Obama bumperstickers to the adoring crowd.

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer was told he could still wear his Kucinich button for tonight's journey.
www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x3885467:evilgrin:

[H2O Man]

5. The Pause of Mr. Claus

by Arlo Guthrie

Why do you sit there so strange?
Is it because you are beautiful?
You must think you are deranged
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?

You must think Santa Clause weird
He has long hair and a beard
Giving his presents for free
Why do police guys mess with peace guys?

Let's get Santa Clause 'cause;
Santa Clause has a red suit
He's a communist
And a beard, and long hair
Must be a pacifist
What's in the pipe that he's smoking?

Mister Clause sneaks in your home at night.
He must be a dope fiend, to put you up tight
Why do police guys beat on peace guys?

[jmm]

6. Santa loves rich kids in industrial nations while

he neglects children who are poor and in developing countries :tinfoilhat:.

[iamjoy]

7. No Santa Is A Democrat

at least according to PJ O'Rourke. In "Parliament of Whores" he contends that God is a Republican and Santa is a Democrat.

God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged mate, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men strictly accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well-being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God's heavenly country club.

Santa Claus is another matter. He's cute. He's nonthreatening. He's always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who's been naughty and who's been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without thought of a quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he's famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.