A Republican's Christmas Prayer

[Jackpine Radical]

Dear Lord,
Far be it from me to tell You how to run things in Your universe, but I've noticed a few things that maybe You will want to attend to when you get the time.

First, there's my neighbor Tom down the road. I think he's a homosexual or something, what with that long hair and earring of his, and he's got one of those peace signs nailed up on his garage. I notice he's driving a nice new little furrin car, and you know Lord that just don't seem right. I'm hoping you'll see your way clear to send him a pestilence or something just to put him in his place.

And another thing, Lord. My boss said he doesn't believe in You. I wanted to make sure you know that, just in case it slipped Your mind what with all the things You have to think about.

And Lord, I don't know if you get out shopping much, but some of the stores have big Happy Holidays signs instead of wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

My Aunt Mabel said bad things about President Bush the other day. She said he's an idiot and he tells lies. Well maybe you would want to think about smiting her, Lord.

Billy Johnson down the street came back from Iraq and now he don't seem right in the head. Well, Lord, as far as I'm concerned that boy never was right in the head, and he never did go to church much. I told his mother that Billy was one of those phony soldiers who were saying bad things about the war, otherwise you would have protected him from that roadside bomb. I told her it was only fair that the Army won't pay for Billy's doctors because I shouldn't have to pay taxes to take care of somebody like that.

And Lord, I sure been trying my best to do Your work down here. I been talking up that Huckabee fellow to everybody, and I been telling everyone I sent him a hundred dollars in order to be a good example. I even been thinking about actually sending hims some money for real, but you know how hard things is for me down here like I told you the last time we had one of these little talks.

I don't mean to complain, Lord, but that million dollars we talked about ain't got here yet, and neither did the new Cadillac, so I think some of the people down at church don't understand how much you love me. Like I say, I don't mean to complain or nothing, and I knw you're awful busy smiting infidels and such, but I wonder if you couldn't maybe move me up a notch or two on your To-Do list.

I guess that's about it for now, Lord.

Amen.

[GOPBasher]

1. LOL n/t

[Jackpine Radical]

2. Thanks...

I'm glad SOMEBODY noticed it.