What's the difference between Bush and a petulant, shit-flinging chimpanzee?

[11 Bravo]

Seriously ... This is not a rhetorical question ... I can't think of a fucking thing.

[geardaddy]

1. The chimp smells better? n/t

Oops, "The chimp smell better"? I'm in a serious X-mas cookie sugar coma.

[hobbit709]

2. and is more intelligent.

[undeterred]

37. Some of us can use email and post on DU.

[XemaSab]

3. Put it this way: what's the difference between Bush and Bonzo?

One's a petulant, shit-flinging chimpanzee, and the other one's an ape.

(Or something along those lines)

[shain from kane]

13. How are Bush* and Bonzo alike? Both had their diapers changed by Ronald Reagan.

How are Bush*, Bonzo, and Ronald Reagan alike? All had their diapers changed by Nancy Reagan. (Nancy had to babysit for Bush* while his father attended a funeral.)

[XemaSab]

18. OUCH!

:rofl:

[Kucinich4America]

26. And Reagan bottle fed both of them too.

[geardaddy]

15. *rimshot*

;)

[ColbertWatcher]

4. chimps fling the poo themselves...

...instead of hiring private contractors to do it for them?

[EFerrari]

5. Chimps have a longer attention span, are loyal to their troop

and they don't mangle English?

Chimps can devise and use simple tools?

Chimps have never killed and maimed millions of people?

On behalf of those beautiful animals, I protest this comparison.

[geardaddy]

38. I agree. Nothing can compare to *

He's a species of his own.

[Buns_of_Fire]

The chimpanzee has better table manners.

[TwilightGardener]

6. Chimps wouldn't be caught dead in Crocs.

[Beetwasher]

7. The Chimp Has Superior Ethics

n/t

[villager]

8. Okay, I'm stumped. What is it?

:shrug:

[11 Bravo]

12. I asked you first!

[DemGa]

9. Why, one of them was installed as president, of course!

[yardwork]

10. The chimp acts that way because he's in a cage.

Bush has no excuse.

[flvegan]

11. A chimp can ride a Segway without falling the hell over.

A chimp doesn't have to write a note to ask for a potty break.

I could keep going.

[shain from kane]

14. Bush* better not stand too close to the chimp, or he will be the shit that is flung.

[geardaddy]

16. The chimp is more closely related to humans than *?

[WhiteTara]

17. one of them lives in our white house?

:shrug:

[ThomWV]

19. Bush would be very specific about where he flung the shit, the monkey wouldn't care.

You see that's the difference, the monkey has no ability to Petulent.

[bunkerbuster1]

The chimp is much, much stronger.

Seriously, chimpanzees are scary-strong.

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_001b.html

Chimpanzees look mighty cute trucking around on their roller skates, wearing funny hats, and going "ook, ook," but when roused they are vicious little bastards and not to be trifled with. Blessed with a muscle structure considerably superior to that of Homo sapiens (if not nearly as fetching in a bathing suit), chimpanzees can handle almost anything that comes along. Three drunks at a carnival would be no sweat.

It's a lot easier to get a chimp in roller skates than it is to get him to pump iron--hence, most of the data on chimp strength is anecdotal and decidedly unscientific. In tests at the Bronx Zoo in 1924, a dynamometer--a scale that measures the mechanical force of a pull on a spring--was erected in the monkey house. A 165-pound male chimpanzee named "Boma" registered a pull of 847 pounds, using only his right hand (although he did have his feet braced against the wall, being somewhat hip, in his simian way, to the principles of leverage). A 165-pound man, by comparison, could manage a one-handed pull of about 210 pounds. Even more frightening, a female chimp, weighing a mere 135 pounds and going by the name of Suzette, checked in with a one-handed pull of 1,260 pounds. (She was in a fit of passion at the time; one shudders to think what her boyfriend must have looked like next morning.) In dead lifts, chimps have been known to manage weights of 600 pounds without even breaking into a sweat. A male gorilla could probably heft an 1,800-pound weight and not think twice about it.

[mmonk]

20. I have no idea.

They are so closely related.

[shain from kane]

24. Same DNA, except for that Bar bit.

(The implication is that Bar mated with another chimp.)

[countingbluecars]

21. About 10 IQ points

in the chimps favor.

[MiniMe]

22. You don't know either?

:shrug:

[mmonk]

23. One's in the Whitehouse?

[datadiva]

25. The chimp is better looking! n/t

[Perry Logan]

27. Thousands of people are not dead because of the chimp.

[underpants]

28. the chimps actually get something positive accomplished

:shrug:

[jody]

29. Chimp would be a better president. n/t

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

30. There are no "petulant, shit-flinging chimpanzees". There is a GWB. eom

[Canuckistanian]

41. Zing!

Actually the OP is quite insulting of chimps. It's unfair to compare them to inferior species.

[zorahopkins]

31. The Chimp Would Be A Better President

The chimp would be a better president.

The chimp likely has a better-looking mate.

The chimp's parents make more of a contribution to the welfare of the Earth.

The chimp does not have Dick Cheney as a friend.

The chimp never led a country to war for illegal reasons.

[IDemo]

32. The chimp can do math like a college kid

Chimpolini can only drink like one..

[Selatius]

33. Killing power.

You honestly think a shit-throwing monkey could kill as many soldiers as Bush?

[Cha]

34. Shit flinging chimps have

better families than the bfee.

[undeterred]

35. Do not make fun of my species or I will shoot you.

[rateyes]

36. That's like asking, "what's the difference between a

horse's ass, and a horse's ass.

Bush IS a petulant, shit-flinging chimpanzee.

[Octafish]

39. Skull and Bones.

Deep doo doo-only connected
get into the Tomb.



Poppy headed the CIA before becoming President,
the nation's first top spook --
corrupt secret policeman and capitalism's invisible accomplice --
to so do.

Something else different:
The chimp wouldn't need a ringer to pass his exams.

[Canuckistanian]

40. The chimp will eventually tire

Not so with the Commander Bunnypants.

[Generic Brad]

42. 60 IQ points

Those chimps are smart.

[kineneb]

43. Chimp is chimp. Bush still working on "human". nt.

[JeanGrey]

44. THE CHIMP IS SMARTER!