Murray's Writings Echo Columbine Gunman's Manifesto

[joshcryer]

"Well all you people out there can just kiss my a** and die. From now on I don't give a @#%$ about what you mutha f____ have to say, unless I respect you which is highly unlikely, but for those of you who do happen to know me and know that I respect you, may peace be with you and don't be in my line of fire, for the rest of you, you all better @#%$ hide in your houses because I'm coming for EVERYONE soon.

"No I am not crazy, crazy is just a word, to me it has no meaning, everyone is different, but most of you @#%$ heads there in society, going to your everyday @#%$ jobs and doing everyday routine shi____y things, I say @#%$ you and die ....

"DEAD PEOPLE DON'T ARGUE. My belief is that if I say something, it goes. I am the law ... Dead people can't do many things like argue, whine, @#%$, complain, name, rat out, criticize, or even @#%$ talk. So that's the only way to solve argument with all you f__heads out there, I just kill. God, I can't wait till I can kill you people, I'll just go to some downtown area in some big city and blow up and shoot everything I can.

"You break my back but you won't break me ... all is black but I still see...shut me down, knock me to the floor... shoot me up, @#%$ me like a whore, trapped under ice, comfortably cold, I've gone as low as you can go ... feel no remorse, no sorrow or shame .... time's gonna wash away all pain I made a God out of blood not superiority I killed the king of deceit and now I sleep in anarchy."


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Before that last post, he had written a post saying goodbye to everyone in the forum, thanking them for listening to him.

"You guys were awesome. It's time for me to head out and teach these ******* a lesson ... See you all on the other side, we're leaving this nightmare behind to a better place," he wrote.

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In the weeks before the shooting, nghtmrchld26 posted a number of messages about his own pain, despair and fury toward Christianity.

In another posting on Dec. 1, on the expentacostal.org Web site, nghtmrchld26 posted wrote about the "insane things" he went through in Christian homeschool.

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More at the link, don't want my post locked for posting "copyrighted material" (after all, Murray is dead).

edit: forgot to include link: http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/14822541/detail.html

More stuff in below comments.

[malaise]

1. I'm betting this young man was abused

by people in that mega building of hypocrisy.

"You break my back but you won't break me ... all is black but I still see...shut me down, knock me to the floor... shoot me up, @#%$ me like a whore, trapped under ice, comfortably cold, I've gone as low as you can go ... feel no remorse, no sorrow or shame .... time's gonna wash away all pain I made a God out of blood not superiority I killed the king of deceit and now I sleep in anarchy."

[joshcryer]

3. This may be of interest to you:

"We'll make our own religion and be our own God's instead listening to some abusive pedophile church like what I was raised in telling us who's 'saved' and who's not," the person wrote.

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However, I'm not sure that's evidence of abuse. I think in the end he was highly isolated and alone, and this is what compelled him to do something. He was kicked out of the missionary school for "not being social enough." This was probably increasingly confirmed by his behavior on the messageboard. He probably had no life outside of his friends there.

[malaise]

5. Now we'll never know

Truth will out from others

[RandiFan1290]

14. Those are lyrics from a song

by KMFDM

http://www.kmfdm.net/lyrics/anarchy.htm

[joshcryer]

2. After having read the full thing, I believe my original assessment was spot on.

And those who disbelieve the veracity of this I think it shouldn't be too hard to find the original posts now, either in archived form or otherwise.

So, it seems he was a nilihist, with a powertrip, similar to Seung-Hui Cho, Robert A. Hawkins, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. He believed his actions had a higher meaning, though at the same time having the contridictive position that "nothing matters." That "ones position in life is fixed."

He was, essentially, a fucked up individual who needed severe psychological help. Outside of the Church.

[Berry Cool]

11. I think that is as fair an assessment as anyone will ever make.

Horrible, horrible story.

[joshcryer]

4. Found his posts!

The board he posted on, at least incidently, maybe not the main forum:

http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7

His profile, you can see the posts mentioned in the news report here, the post has since been deleted (a shame, hope someone archived it and the responses):

http://p223.ezboard.com/bexpentecostalforums.showUserPublicProfile?gid=nghtmrchld26

His full horror story (the thing that probably motivated him to kill kill kill):

http://p223.ezboard.com/fexpentecostalforumsfrm7.showMessage?topicID=1725.topic&index=10

[joshcryer]

6. Full forum with his archived posts:

http://p223.ezboard.com/nghtmrchld26s-posts-on-12907/fexpentecostalforumsfrm60

I hope this doesn't die, but I suspect it will, as the "drama" is over, and no one gives a shit why an individual would actually commit an atrocious crime. It's all about throwing around abusive language to one another, saying this, saying that, attaching labels. But a bit of constructive thought can make things all the clearer.

[malaise]

7. No more abuse to me, Christian or otherwise

I hope others speak on this subject and expose these snake oil cons.

[joshcryer]

8. Not all Christians are this way, $$$ corrupts.

[malaise]

9. His environment made him an angry monster

I believe he was abused by them
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I'm just so full of hate now and I love it............forcing all your religious bullshit down my throat all these fuckin years with your dominionist christian agenda....like in Jesus Camp.....well...the abuse ends NOW.

[joshcryer]

10. I had the same treatment, that didn't make me an angry monster.

Maybe for a short period but I realized the nihilist POV was just assinine. Read his Youth Ministry post, it's pretty telling.

[Berry Cool]

12. Yeah, it wasn't Christianity per se that did this.

It was a nasty cult, dressing itself up in the guise of Christianity and using it as an excuse to mistreat people, combined with a person whose mind was pretty fragile to begin with and only made more so by his exxperiences.

[joshcryer]

13. After reading many many of his posts, it seems likely he was athiest. Living with fundamentalist...

...and authoritarian Christians.

His last post, the one after the killings at the Youth Mission, but before the New Life attempt, says this:

"There is no god but man."

http://p223.ezboard.com/Man-has-the-right-to-kill-those-who-would-thwart-theserights/fexpentecostalforumsfrm60.showMessage?topicID=5.topic