Freeper writes book and sells 40 copies and thinks he will make the

[madinmaryland]

NY Times best seller list!!

"Just a quick note to my fellow Freepers to thank you all. I've given away over 300 copies of my book, and I checked today to see that I've sold over 40 hard copies!

Yea! NY times best seller list look out! "

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1928000/posts

:rofl:

I didn't know freepers could write!!

[Mythsaje]

1. Giving away 300 copies isn't going to help one make it to the bestseller list...

You usually try to SELL more than you give away.

And I know what I'm talking about here.

[flobee1]

4. Theis is a repug we're talking about here!

economics is not one of their strong points

[Clintonista2]

48. LOL!

[Quantess]

2. I like how one person responded

"hmmm....book pimping?" C'mon, he needs help selling his book. :evilgrin:

[yardwork]

19. Texasgunlover seems dubious, too.

In fact, of the three responses, two are disapproving!

This is an insight into how freepers feel about books. And writing and stuff like that.

[KG]

3. he's maxed out his market. only 340 freeper can read anyway.

[madinmaryland]

5. I think he has sold more copies than Ann Coulter has!!

[SyntaxError]

54. lol

[NanceGreggs]

6. What's the title?

"Spellcheck: A Liberal Plot to Undermine America"

[Mad_Dem_X]

7. !

:rofl: Good one!

[madinmaryland]

10. That's just ass nine! Your casting asparagus!!1!!

:rofl:

[tridim]

12. "Casting Asparagus", by Hugh Moran!!11 ?

[racaulk]

72. OMG!!!111!!!!1 That is HUGH!11!!!1!!!

:rofl:

[aroach]

8. His mommy probably bought them

If I were to write a book my family would buy that many copies. I'm unimpressed.

[petronius]

44. Yep. And when mommy's check bounces, that 'total sold' will drop back to zero. (nt)

[Lasher]

9. Kinda reminds me of Catkiller Frist's contribution to the literary world

Good People Beget Good People: A Genealogy of the Frist Family (Hardcover)

http://www.amazon.com/Good-People-Beget-Genealogy-Family/dp/0742533360

Be sure to read the customer reviews at the bottom if you have not already. I've gone through them about a hundred times myself and I think I'll enjoy them again right now.

[rurallib]

15. OMG that was funny. Thanks for the pick-me-up.

Know where I can pick me up one of them Frist books? What the hell was this thread about anyway?

[yardwork]

20. The very first review!!!!

This is a fascinating study of the extraordinary mix of in-breeding, animal sacrifice, and corruption required to produce the world's worst human being. Coming from a family of mildly despicable cheats, the Frists had a leg up on normal human beings...but it still took an enormous amount of laboratory work and careful training to produce not just a self-involved twit but an unspeakable monster.

Thank you for this link!

[Qanisqineq]

47. Hilarious!

:rofl:

[Lasher]

50. My life would have been unfulfilled if I would have missed that.

I can't believe how funny those comments are!

[theredpen]

11. Science!

From the author's site (highlight mine):

"The Right-Winger's Guide to the Radical Left" is a conservaive book (I guess you get that by the title!) written by Jack Hattendorf. It is a scientific look at the liberal nuts of the radical left-wing of our country. I've written this book to help my fellow conservative understand the liberal crazies that we live with every day.

Scientific... just like Intelligent Design and the Sun orbiting the Earth.

[NanceGreggs]

16. In other words:

"A Hugh & Series Look into Liberalism, as Told By My Own Ass"

[yardwork]

18. Oh, it's a "conservavie" book!

This is hughLLL im' series.

[hootinholler]

21. Well, saying it's scientific prevents it from being called porn...

Since he's looking at liberal nuts.

-Hoot

[Clark2008]

26. I didn't realize "nuts" was a scientific term.

:crazy:

[Mountainman]

59. I never can understand how someone who has never had a liberal thought in their head can explain to

the rest of the world what liberalism is all about.

Freepers are all suffering from delusions of grandeur.

[B Calm]

13. He should have made an audio book.. Freepers don't know how to read!

[Perry Logan]

14. How does he know he wrote a book?

[hootinholler]

17. Ooooh, it has a web site too.

Here. Front and center is a Truman quote!

:rofl:

The Reviews Are IN!

Want to write a review? If it's good, I'll put it on the site.

Required reading for those of us that need to learn what goes on in the simple minds of the “Leftist Idiots” and how to deal with them without spending any time in jail! Great read and thanks for the education Jack!

Henry

Reviews?

:rofl:

-Hoot

[madinmaryland]

24. Did you check out his blog?

http://www.rightwingersguide.com/blog.html

..snip


Entry for September 28, 2007



_uacct = "UA-2698141-1";
urchinTracker();


..snip

:rofl:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

27. His friend Spencer thinks he's cool.

How old is this kid?

[Neecy]

69. his site is a scream....

No excerpts from the book - we can guess why, that would (further) tank sales - but a quote from his friend Spencer that has nothing to do with the book itself.

Yeah, the real world is really gonna shell out $15 for ignorant, paranoid freeper rants. LOL.

[earth mom]

22. ROFLMAO! Thanks for the laugh. I needed one today!

:rofl:

[K8-EEE]

23. LOL! Hilarious!

God the 24% are such dorks...

[johnfunk]

25. His screen name is Monkey_Feet -- and he has a brain to match!

It should be Monkey_Wings (cue "Wizard of Oz" flying monkey theme).

[RavensChick]

30. That is so, so true!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I needed a laugh today! Thanks!

[Libby2]

37. Could it be bush?

[mainer]

28. It's not listed on Amazon.com

So how's he selling it? Out of the trunk of his car?

[madinmaryland]

31. Out of his bedroom in his mother's house!

:rofl:

[SyntaxError]

58. heh, it's lulu... with that, anyone can pretend to be a writer. :P

http://lulu.com

[mainer]

71. Even Lulu-pubbed books can be listed on Amazon.com

There are lots of self-pubbed books listed on Amazon. The writer's obviously a neophyte at this game.

[alarimer]

29. I don't think he will make it on to the bestseller lists.

Freepers can't read. Of course I didn't even know they could write a whole book either.

[lpbk2713]

32. I always knew freeper types were delusional.

This just serves to prove the point.

Who the hell would read a book written with Crayolas anyway?

(Well, OK. Who other than Dumbya?)

[Lord Wortherington]

33. I thought freepers hated the New York Times.

Probably just jealous

[hayu_lol]

34. He should do what the other conservative writers do...

sell his book, in case lots, to Richard Mellon Scaife who will then give them away as premiums on his site: Newsmax.com.

Thats how THEY all make the bestseller list.

[marmar]

35. .... then he climbed back up his tree.

Freepers are not the most evolved members of the human race, are they? :dunce: :dunce: :dunce:

[baldguy]

36. The sad part is the 300 he gave away are counted as "sales" by the NYT.

[blondeatlast]

38. My dear Freeper friend, your own have abandoned you. I'm so terribly sorry. I'm a former book buyer

Here's how it works. Crown/Regnery/Nelson etc. manufacture the demand for their books and it's vitally important you realize how it is done. Let me try to explain...

Precious, precious few nonfiction books have print runs in excess of even 100,000. Most of these RW books have INITIAL print runs of 1 million or more, though--and the publisher KNOWS that they will sell--it's guaranteed.

How is that possible? It's a bit complicated, stay with me. It also explains how these titles reach Number 1 the very week they are released.

As soon as the titles are announced, the market gears up and pre orders are made in mass quantities--but traditional retailers (B&N, Border's, etc) aren't buying in those mass quantities. They buy enough stock to cover a modest demand only.

But distributors (who drive the bestseller lists; bestseller lists are NOT derived from retail sales, but by distributor sales) will buy in massive quantities knowing full well they will sell out and possible need to backorder. So who's buying these pre-pubs in mass quantities?

The RNC, the Heritage Foundation, the College Republicans, etc--that's who. They buy in enough quantity that they can qualify as a retailer but THEY NEVER SELL A SINGLE BOOK.

They give them away by the handful. Donate to the RNC? Get the new Coulter book. Attend a Bill O'Reilly speaking engagement? Get his latest. Here, have another dozen for your friends who don't attend.

There's a reason that the NYT (the bible of the bestseller lists, the only one that retailers know really matters) puts a star by these books--they know that the market for them is artificailly generated--and now the retailers have caught up.

These books "sell" indeed. but the retailers sell few of them.

[madinmaryland]

52. That's exactly it.

The only way they can "sell" most of those books is to give them away!

[Mountainman]

64. I think that the books are ghost written also. They put a famous wing nut's name on them. It is

all planned as another means to feed the knuckle draggers the pablum that keeps them voting against their own best interest.

Every ploy the wing nuts use is a bastardization of something we use to have faith in like the news or the best seller list and such.

Still with all the efforts of the right over the past twenty years or so, they haven't gotten more than about a third of the citizens to buy into their shit.

Freepers like this duffus could do a lot better for himself by throwing off his slave masters and waking up to reality. He is one of the ones that helps KB&R rip off this government for billions all the while sucking the dicks of his fellow freepers by writing some drivel about a non existent threat from left wing wackos.

[northzax]

65. it's a dagger, actually, not a star

and the Times is believed to determine that by finding a huge difference between wholesale sales and retail sales, both of which they survey.

[blondeatlast]

68. You are correct, sir/madam. My bad. nt

[theredpen]

39. The "Money Quote": Minorities are a sub-species

I kid you not. Here's an excerpt from the "http://www.rightwingersguide.com/about_us">About Us" page:

This quasi scientific (and that term is used very loosely!) of the radical liberal left wing or our country breaks down the genus of the liberal into several sub-sections of “Species” including:

...
* Corporate
* Unions
* Minorities (African Americans)
* Clinton Lovers
* Tree Huggers
* Animal Lovers
* Homosexuals
...

Ugh. This means Alan Keyes is a sub-species of liberal. Oh well, it's all in the name of science.

[wicket]

62. Jesus!

:wow:

[Neecy]

70. wow...

The "radical left" loves Bill Clinton? That's news to me - but thank god I have a freeper to explain the left to this leftist!

WTF with "Minorities (African Americans)"?

[Blue-Jay]

40. Wow! 40 whole copies!

I could sell more copies of my latest bowel movement, and probably charge more for the 8x10 glossies.

"I'm a writer!"

[Hoof Hearted]

41. That was the most pathetic 12 minutes I've ever spent in my life.

I should go to bed.

BTW. Freepers absolutely CANNOT write, and this schmuck absolutely proves that.

[Initech]

42. He's got to get someone to buy it in bulk first.

[Oeditpus Rex]

43. Well, at least he's truthful on the flap blurb

Jack Hattendorf is a radical conservative right-wing extremist who is part of the vast conservative Republican conspiracy and evil attack machine that fully intends on ruling the world and repressing all minorities, gays, lesbians, poor people, working Americans, unemployed Americans, and illegal aliens, all while giving tax cuts to the rich so that we, the insidious conservative Right, can convert all the other dumb Americans to our brand of snake-handling Christianity and persecute all who don’t agree with us even as we support companies like Halliburton, Exxon, and Enron, or any other company that rapes the environment and sucker-punches the poor American worker by sending jobs overseas.

http://www.rightwingersguide.com/about_us

[Guaranteed]

45. Excuse me, I believe that's "I didn't know freepers could RIGHT." nt

[Joe for Clark]

46. That is funny.

Joe

[Bright Eyes]

49. Is it a Pop-Up Book, or something?

[NoPasaran]

51. Giving books away? Sounds like SOCIALISM!

Come on, boys! Let's get a rope!

[SyntaxError]

53. I'm assuming his best sellers list comment was joke...

:P

[dysfunctional press]

55. do you have a particular problem recognizing sarcasm?

:shrug:

it would seem so.

[madinmaryland]

61. What are you implying is sarcasm?

The book itself or his comment about the NY Times. The Times comment is probably sarcasm, but the book appears to be pure hatred.

:shrug:

[dysfunctional press]

63. "Yea! NY times best seller list look out! "

obviously sarcasm...(except to you- "Freeper writes book and sells 40 copies and thinks he will make the

NY Times best seller list!!")

[northzax]

66. i'm with you here

this is obviously sarcasm. it's like finding a five dollar bill on the street and saying "woohoo! I'm rich"

[tuckessee]

56. How many copies did your last book sell? n/t

[alfredo]

57. It's a coloring book.

[Oilwellian]

60. He should do what Bill O'Reilly did...

For every copy of his book sold, he'll send a copy to the troops in Iraq. Isn't that speshulllll? :D

[ProgressiveFool]

67. I wonder how many editors took their lives in the process of making it ready for publishing