I'm having an extremely hard time...

[King_Crimson]

readying myself to depart for the funeral home to say good-bye to my wife. Forgive me DU'ers...I'm trying to type through a maze of tears and unbearable pain. Your strength and prayers are with me...I feel that... but the inner strength I thought I had has turned to mush. I know when I walk into that place...I'm going to totally lose it. My sister-in-law and my 10 year old niece are going to reside in my home as they know I can't stay here alone...and they were here last night My poor dog....who was mommy's pet... is wondering around the house trying to find mom. Two nights ago he laid in the kitchen all night...something he has never done.
I really must go now. I guess I'm trying to prolong the inevitable. Hopefully when I return to the I'll be able to join in the normal fray. God bless each of you and I beg he give me strength. :cry::cry::cry:

[The Straight Story]

1. I remember that feeling when my mom died

no idea how I got through it, but somehow I did - I went for mom, and to have some final thing to end a part of it.

I don't know what else to say my friend.

[bigtree]

2. steady, KC

glad to hear you have some support there.

[qanda]

3. I just left you a message in the other thread

I wish I could give you a big hug right now. I hope you can feel the arms of this community around you.

[SmokingJacket]

4. We're here for you, buddy.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[BoneDaddy]

5. Then lean on others

there is no shame in that. Give yourself permission to feel devastated, there is nothing wrong with that. Cry, weep, grieve. Now is not the time to try and make sense of this, you can put back the pieces much later. Surround yourself with loved ones and know that you have support. Peace brother.

[SammyWinstonJack]

26. I did that after my husband died in a motorcycle accident.

Support from loved ones helps immensely.

[wicket]

49. It certainly does

I am so sorry :hug:

[Solly Mack]

6. I wish there were magic words that could make this any easier for you

There are none...but we are here for you and what comfort that offers, let it embrace you.

[havocmom]

7. Be at least as kind and forgiving to yourself as you would be to your best friend,

especially today.

Know there are many who wish they could be there in the flesh to lend you muscle to lean on.

Make some allowances for yourself. It's allowed. :hug:

[MadHound]

8. Many prayers and hugs to you my friend

I know that you are in hell now, but you will survive and carry on. Don't worry about joining in on the normal fray, worry about yourself and your family first and foremost. We're here for you, not the other way around. :hug::hug::hug:

[Pharaoh]

9. My prayers are with you man

This is the grieving process and it is healthy to grieve and cry right now, it does get better my friend.:grouphug:

[wicket]

10. I've been thinking of you a lot KC

I know we don't know each other, but I want you to know how much we all care :hug: :hug:

Thoughts and prayers for you and your family in this extremely difficult time.


Amazing Grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas Grace that taught my heart to fear,
And Grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils, and snares
I have already come.
'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far
And Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His Word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be
As long as life endures.

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

38. I am sorry. I do not like that song.

That word "wretch" is insulting to me and every other human who is muddling through pain and grief and just getting from one day to another. I think you're insulting Mr. KC who is going through hell, and doesn't need to be reminded about sin.

I don't believe in original sin, nor do I believe in substitutionary atonement; and if you think the words to Amazing Grace are comforting, I beg to differ. Any sermon about how sinful and bad we are makes me want to go crawl in a hole and die. Or just slash my wrists, if it didn't hurt so much.

So PLEASE don't make this guy feel any worse, OK?
You didn't ask for my opinion and you don't know if this guy would like that song either.

[wicket]

40. You're right - I didn't ask for your opinion

It certainly wasn't my intention to insult him. I too have gone through great loss recently and find this song comforting. That was my only intention. But thanks for the lecture.

[BoneDaddy]

63. This isn't about you

is it.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

65. No, I'm talking about human nature. Nobody likes to be told they are bad people.

Do you enjoy being referred to as a "wretch"?

Do you enjoy preachers who stand up and tell the audience how sinful and filthy they ALL are? Knowing nothing about them personally? You think that's responsible? I think it's emotional abuse and name calling.

Especially when you are going through hell on earth, as in the OP?

I don't believe in hell after death, because I've been through my own hell on earth, thank you.

[BoneDaddy]

68. I, I, I, I, I

I, I, I, I...understand? The OP is writing about his grief, and this is not the place for you to make a stand about your religious or non religious convictions, your dislike of Amazing Grace or the word "wretch".

[wicket]

93. Thank-you

n/t

[emcguffie]

74. Excuse me, but I think there could be some different way of --

-- looking at how the word "wretch"is used in this song.

I think it is a reference to how badly one is feeling. The fact that one is suffering makes one wretched. A wretch being a person who is wretched, not a bad evil person. A suffering person, in pain.

As in, I have lost the person most important to me, and I feel utterly wretched.

That's what I think that means.


Forgive me for butting in.

I have lost people I loved mightily myself, and I was wretched for a very long time afterward.

I think our modern usage of the word is a departure from its meaning at the time when those lyrics were first sung.

[Tsiyu]

11. Sending thoughts of strength and peace your way

What a rough day. I'm glad you'll have some company to help you through this.

Hang in there, King Crimson :hug:

[democrank]

12. We`re with you in spirit, KC.

Bless you.

[LynzM]

13. Sending love and strength your way....

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[mzteris]

14. Peace to you.

Focus on the good memories and share them with others who loved her, too.

:hug:

[City Lights]

15. I'll be with you in spirit today, King_Crimson.

:hug:

[rainy]

16. look for a sign today. Something living that keeps just hanging around or

you see everywhere you go. Energy is in all of us. Many people who lose loved ones say things like I kept seeing a butterfly near me all day. Or, I saw a bird by my window all day. Where does the energy go? Does it join all the other energy in the universe as in a god like energy? Will it come back in another life form? A child? No one knows but at least it will keep your mind busy looking, and being busy is the best therapy for loss.
We are all with you today.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

17. I never lost someone as close and vital as a spouse

but when I sat with my parents in their caskets, I was actually greatly comforted to see them at rest and peaceful, and just be in their presence. The casket closing was the very difficult part.

It sounds like you have loving family. Be carried by that love.

I am so sorry for you loss and I send you warmth and peace and hope it finds a home with you.

Keep posting.

[murray hill farm]

18. You can get through this...as hard as it is right now.

Sometimes it seems that you cannot..but you can...remember this, at times so hard just "put one foot in front of the other" and say that to yourself...just one foot in front of the other..until you get through this day...and this time. My prayers are with you.

[lonestarnot]

19. Oh dear K_C.

Sending you strength. :cry:

[blm]

20. Our hearts are with you. Trust that there are many who hear you and care.

.

[all.of.me]

21. allow yourself to grieve, and reach out.

my thoughts are with you.

[Fovea]

22. Tincure of time

It isn't the best medicine for grief, but it is the one that works.

Much hugs, man. Be strong, be well.

[fed-up]

23. I remember feeling an unbearable, deep, dark sorrow-like a bottomless pit

of sadness after my mom passed away. I had been her caregiver after her massive stroke and I wondered how I would ever be able to function again.

It took a few weeks until the sharpest of the pain softened around the edges, then a few months later I was able to get through most days without crying at the mere thought or mention of her. A few years later I would have only sporadic waves of sadness.

To get through the toughest times I watched a lot of movies and tried to do mindless tasks that took minimal concentration. I also found that instead of mourning my loss, if I spent my time thinking and appreciating the good times we had together I was much better off.

Grieving the loss of someone that close is a privilige and I am glad that I had such a close relationship with my mother, even though it made losing her harder.


{{{{{ {{{{{ {{{{{ hugs}}}}} }}}}} }}}}}

[mopinko]

of course you are in unbearable pain.

sometimes i think that all smiles are paid for later in tears. the higher the peak of love and joy, the deeper the valley of grief at the end. and when it is complicated with your justifiable anger, it can be a deep valley, indeed. hang on to those that extend a hand to you now. they can be your stepping stones while your tears obscure the way. let those tear out now, and you will leave them behind. hold them in, and they will cloud your sight for a very long time.
take care of yourself, friend.
and let the dog sleep with you. i don't usually allow that, myself, but you need each other.

[nonconformist]

24. You are in my prayers, KC.

:hug:

[In Truth We Trust]

25. Draw strength from your cherished memories and be strong for her. Allow yourself the grief but try

to channel in a healthy and positive way.

My sincerest sympathies KC.

[SammyWinstonJack]

27. ..

:hug:

[TZ]

28. Its really hard to know what to say to someone

who is grieving because those of us not intimately involved can't truly understand but just know that we are here for you and we care. I think thats going to be the most helpful thing for you to know. Bless you and my condolences:grouphug:

[nicknameless]

29. .

:hug:

[sinkingfeeling]

30. You must go, but if you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed, step outside and

a way from others. I did that over and over again during the 'viewing' of my dad. I'm so glad that your sister-in-law and niece will be with you and your puppy.

Love.

[tuvor]

31. God bless, KC.

Take care of yourself.

[no_hypocrisy]

32. I promise that every dawn, it will be easier to get up.

Your memories of your beloved will be a comfort and your loved ones including your dog will tend to your bereavement.

We too will stand by you.

I wish you much love, much peace, many blessings.

[schmuls]

33. We will all be at your side at the Funeral Home.

[zalinda]

34. This may seem weird, but

see if you can take your dog to the funeral home so he can say goodbye. Animals accept and understand death, I think easier than we do. What they don't seem to understand is when someone disappears from their life.

Here are 2 examples of what I mean. We had 2 cats, one had to be put to sleep so she wouldn't suffer anymore. We didn't bring the body home. Her companion walked around looking for her for months, and still cries now and then at the door, hoping she is on the other side.

But the 2 ferrets that we had is a different story. They were very close, sleeping and playing together. The one died in her sleep, and the other nudged her with her nose trying to wake her up. When her companion didn't wake up, she accepted it and was able to live her life over the years without a sign of depression.

zalinda

[seafan]

35. You could plant a special tree in her memory, and tend it with love.

That might be a meaningful way to remember her, especially if she liked to garden.


I like this little saying:

The kiss of the sun for pardon,
The song of the birds for mirth,
One is nearer God's heart in a garden,
than any place else on earth.


Give yourself some time to mourn, King_Crimson. Nothing else will take the place of that.

We at DU are here for you.

[dogday]

36. I lost my Mom when I was seventeen

and I thought my whole world had ended. I gave my daughter my Mother's name and she lives on in memory every time I look at my child.... I never forget my Mom's birthday or death date, and I always honor her memory....

[Bunny]

37. One foot in front of the other, and one day/hour/minute/second at a time.

My thoughts are with you today. :grouphug:

A few years ago an employee in our company lost her little daughter in a housefire. Although I didn't know this employee (she worked in a different department) I went to the funeral home to pay respects. I found out that she was in the funeral home, but was too overcome with grief to face the visitors - she spent most of the visitation hours in a smoking lounge in the funeral home. Her feelings and behaviors were certainly understandable under the circumstances.

You, too, should feel free to do whatever you need to do to get through this. Take care of yourself. :hug:

[Sinistrous]

39. My heart goes out to you. I have been where you are.

Hold hands with someone close to you and share their strength.

My deepest sympathy.

Sinistrous

[OneBlueSky]

41. remember the good time, my friend . . . God bless . . . n/t

.

[cali]

42. So many of us are with you in spirit

please remember that.

Love, Cali

[spooky3]

43. We are here for you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[MamaBear]

44. Take good care of yourself KC.

It will never stop hurting, but you'll learn how to continue on. It's good to know you have people with you at this time.

:hug:

[ljm2002]

45. Hang in there...

...and don't be in too much of a hurry to "join the normal fray".

You need to grieve, and it will take awhile. Just know that life will be worth living again, although that empty place where your beloved was can never be filled again.

Life has its pains, yours is more tragic than some, but you know she would have wanted you to keep living and loving life eventually.

Don't rush the process, but don't reject the moments of happiness when they start coming your way -- which they will, eventually.

:hug: :cry: :hug: :cry: :hug:

[flyarm]

46. KC my mother in law died a couple weeks ago , from mal-practice..

she had a horrible death...i understand your anger..i understand your pain..

When you love unconditionally ..it is hard to understand how this can be done to our loved ones..

Now is the time for you to get through the funeral and all that goes with sending our loved ones to the other side with the dignity they so deserve...

I understand how hard it is for you...


but right now is the time you need for you..you need to vent, you need to mourn "YOUR WAY"

No one can tell you how to do it...it is a process..that we usually sleep walk through...emothinally and physically.

reach out all you can...but it is imperative to keep talking..talk to your friends, talk to family..talk to anyone and every one you want to and can talk to...

hold nothing back..that is the healthiest way to mourn..

and do look for a sign...

My mother in law was American Indian..her tribe's sign was the Bald Eagle...the memorial card we had chosen was a deer and a bald eagle....most would have considered it a man's card..but we chose it because it was representative to my mother in laws indian heritage that she loved so dearly..and it represented her Indian tribe...

My mother in law wanted creamation so she could have her ashes spread in the No. Calif Marble mountains..of which she loved so dearly , just above the reservation she grew up at..

The day of her memorial and reception we had..at a country club..as she was an avid golfer..something incredible happened..

The country club over looked the Sacramento River..in Redding Calif..

As my husband looked out the massive windows..over the river..a deer came up under the reception room...and next to the deer landed a bald eagle...

My husband was looking out the window..and he was so taken aback...
then the eagle flew up right to the windows..full wing span..a thing of beauty..and everyone saw it..it flew back and forth in front of the window for a couple minutes...then it landed right in front of the windows..for a moment..then it took off ..it was magestic..such beauty..a perfect bald eagle..in color and in presence..and it flew one last time in front of the window..and flew away........


My husband was mezmerized as were his brothers...there were around 500 people at my mother in laws memorial reception....and all saw it..

My husband was crying..but he turned with a smile and tears in his eyes..and said..i now know..mom is ok...that was her signal..that was her sign to us..to live on..to go on...

KC..watch for a sign..when you see it ..it will help you...but you must watch for it..

I wish i could help you more...

My husband is also angry..and i helped him contact attorneys...but i told him..we have time..just get through this time as best you can..

...and understand ..part of mourning is anger..it is ok to be angry..there is no emotion that is not a good emotion for you to feel..just don't hold things inside..

your healing depends on feeling your emotions..,

Bless you dear..this is the hardest time of your life.but you will get through it..
not easily..and it is a process...

You can not love one so dearly and not hurt like hell when they are taken from you.

fly

[WinkyDink]

51. {{{{{flyarm}}}}} God bless you.

[wicket]

52. I am so sorry for your loss

How horrible :cry:

[Sweet Freedom]

47. Everytime something reminds you of her --

a song, a saying, a smell -- it's her letting you know she's with you. And she is always with you. By your side and in your heart and soul.

And why should we forgive you? You have every right to grieve. Hardly anytime has passed and no one expects you to bounce back overnight. Take your time and heal at your own pace.

I wish I had advice for you about your dog. I don't suppose you could take the dog with you and let him say goodbye to her? (That may be bad advice, I don't know. It was just the first thought that popped into my head.)

Take care KC. :hug:

[renate]

59. that's good advice

Hearing a song, seeing something she would have liked--and you turn to her to point it out, but she's not physically there--or having thoughts of her pop into your head at unexpected times... think of these as little visits from her.

She's still a part of your life, and always will be--just in a very different way. But just as real.

I am so sorry for your terrible loss.

:hug:

[JanusAscending]

92. This is good advice, and may I add to that.....

Don't hesitate to talk about her, often, and to anyone who will listen. I found it helped me through the worst part shortly after my husband passed 4 yrs. ago. I still talk about him with friends and family. Remember all the good times. This helps immensely. There is a hymn that helped me through, I can't remember all of the words but it goes something like this.... "Many things about tomorrow, we don't seem to understand....but I know WHO holds tomorrow, and I know WHO holds my hand." God be with you!!:grouphug: and your Angels be close around you.

[Catherine Vincent]

48. We here at DU feel your pain, KC...we really do.

I am so sorry you're having a hard time.:-(

[WinkyDink]

50. He WILL give you strength, KC, for WE are the manifestation of it.

Feel her love. It hasn't left you.

[redwitch]

53. words are totally inadequate right now.

I am so very sorry for your pain. You do have inner strength, but you need to grieve. It's impossible to avoid when you have loved. Bless you today and always.

[pecwae]

54. Lean on others.

Allow yourself to mourn. Don't feel you must be strong at every moment. Don't expect the normal to return; you'll have a new normal. Don't hesitate to ask. Honor your feelings, cherish your memories, let the tears flow. I give this unasked-for advice only in wishing I had taken it myself when my son died.

Here is our strength, it is yours, please draw from it.

Many blessings to you and your family sent upon wings of healing thoughts.

[femmedem]

55. Oh King Crimson....

Heart ache is so physical, isn't it? It isn't a metaphor. Your heart really hurts. It's like a truck parked on your chest, every breath painful.

My deepest condolences to you.

[jasmeel]

56. Good Luck King Crimson-I'm sending you a HUGE bear hug!

:cry:

[Gregorian]

57. Please know that we all hurt.

I couldn't even read your previous posts. Because of my own loss, I found it hard to share. Or bear.

If I shared the specifics, we could commiserate. I could tell you about my loss. And you, yours. And I think it may be important to do so. I know that just how your dog is behaving is terribly painful to see. How saddening. I totally lost it yesterday when the vets called me wanting to know what to do with my beloved Bart, who is still in their freezer. I literally hung up on them. I couldn't take the reminder.

I've been a very unoptimistic person in my life. I've watched the world turn into something it didn't have to turn into. It could have been so nice, so easily. It was a death, of sorts. For me. Yesterday, after several years of physical suffering due to what I believe is a life of frustration, I decided it's time to look at things from a less stressed attitude. It's survival. Either I take it easier on myself, or I'm not going to last much longer.

I know this doesn't sit well with people here. But I'm going to say how I think things work. I think life cannot be destroyed. And I think what we have here is only part of the picture. And it is partly a test. We are human, but we are also beings. Very big beings. Bigger than death. Death is something that is relative to earth. As I sit here, I miss Bart greatly. I'll miss him forever. And you will, your wife. I find it hard to contain my suffering while I type this. There are a number of ways to look at this. I had ten years with Bart. You had twenty with your wife. But that is over. But it existed. And that is to be thankful for. And then there is the future. We don't know the future. And we don't know everything. But I strongly believe that there is perfection. And that your wife may be gone from you now, but that she exists. Perhaps still exists.

We are here together as no mistake. No matter what, when we are together, we are helping each other. I think this is how we become bigger than the pain. I do not know how to grow out of loss . Remember what was. Be grateful for that. Continue to live. And remember that all may not be lost. There is hope in a hopeless world.

[Hubert Flottz]

58. Sometimes it's okay to "totally lose it".

If that is how your heart and mind direct you to respond, then by all means do not hold back. I'm sure your wife would not be ashamed of you, for totally losing it and I wouldn't either. You are facing some of the hardest moments that you will have to deal with in your entire life and your friends and family will understand if you lose it. I have gone through some times myself like you are going through now and I let the tears fly when the urge came to shed them. It made it easier for me to cope and I didn't care how it looked to anyone else.

Only the passage of time will ease the pain and I know that the first few days of this kind of sorrow are almost more than one can bear. I wish you and your friends and family the very best. My thoughts and best wishes will be with you.

[npincus]

60. we'll be thinking about you

and wishing you strength.

[longship]

61. We're all with you, KingC

Please keep strong, persevere, and keep friends close.

We here at DU will try to take some of the burden for you.
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Flying Dream Blues]

62. I'm so sorry King Crimson. We will all be with you in spirit.

There were so many things I counted on for help after my son died in a fire a few years ago. I'll pass on what I can remember just in case any of it may be of help to you.

Let your family and friends stay around you as long as they can. I remember the first week or so we stayed together in a a pack. We did try to get out of the house a little bit, and as long as we were together it seemed to help.

Sleeping is so hard, and yet you know every day is easier when you've rested. I used Simply Sleep (basically Tylenol PM without the Tylenol) every night for a few months, and it did a much better job than the Ambien the doctor prescribed.

Waking up and letting the animals cheer me. My little dog wakes up every day so happy and sweet, it made me smile in spite of myself, just watching her and knowing that every day is a gift in some way. For me, it was the thought that every day took me a little farther from that day that the world went upside down. The passage of time and allowing yourself the time and space to grieve are really what helps the most.

I couldn't concentrate well enough to read a book for a while, so I watched mindless TV and watched some good movies. Sad movies are great for those times when you want to cry but you can't. It helps to release the tears...studies have shown that tears from crying vs. lubricating tears have a completely different chemical makeup, which makes the case that tears may serve an important purpose.

Try to remind yourself that it's okay to smile and laugh when you feel like it. My son was so funny and we laughed and told stories about things we remembered, and then it made it easier to laugh at other things. I tried to remember that when I asked for help, perhaps some of the help I was receiving were moments of laughter that lifted my spirit, and I should try to receive that as a gift.

I also agree with looking for signs that your wife is with you. Because she was so sick, it may take a little while, but keep watching for them, and I know you will see something that helps you. She is with you and wants you to be comforted.

I wish there was something I could do to ease your pain. Please ask whenever you need anything from us. Do feel free to PM me if I can help you. I'm wishing you peace, comfort and healing. And love.

[Mnemosyne]

64. We are with you in spirit KC. :hugs: n/t

[G_j]

66. bless you, good thoughts winging your way

all love to you in this time

[Ferretherder]

67. I can't imagine what you are going through, right now...

...-and that makes me realize how fortunate I am to have another day with my wife beside me.

Hope things can get back to some semblance of normal for you soon. I will be thinking of you, today.

[happydreams]

69. Peace to you . It may help to know that in time, the pain

will leasen.
Peace to you.

[laruemtt]

70. you are in my heart today, KC.

:hug:

[Pithlet]

71. You are in my thoughts, King_Crimson

:hug:

[blues90]

72. This has to be so very difficult

I can't imagine what I would do if my wife passed away after being with her for 27 years . I don;t know if I could handle it personally .

I hope each day brings you strength and reason .

[RiverStone]

73. One step at a time...it will take time.

Know that your doing the best you can.

Know that its OK to totally lose it - there are others to hold you up.

Know that people here at DU care about you, understand you, and hear you.

Breath in - breath out.

We are here if you need us King_Crimson.


Blessings~

[Bucky]

75. I find you continuing to post here to be incredibly brave.

I personally would want to crawl into a hole and whimper for a year. I hope you're also staying involved and circulated with other real world people in your life. I know nothing can fill up the hole in your life now, but us humans need to have a tribe around us to deal with these devastating losses.

Be strong, King Crimson. And be strong enough to be vulnerable, hurt and angry about what an unfair thing this is. I wish I could send you a big ol' cyber hug over the internet. Just know that whenever anyone hugs you in real life, that there are a hundred DUers here spiritually joining in on that hug and love you and want you know how loved you are.

God bless you, King Crimson.

[LittleClarkie]

76. There's nothing wrong with totally losing it

We didn't expect that with my mom. We were all holding up pretty well, but the minute we saw her in the casket we all went to pieces. But it's part of the process. You don't have to be strong.

My prayers are with you.

[LonelyLRLiberal]

77. You have my very best wishes as you make your way through the grieving process.

I hope you and your poor grieving dog can comfort each other. He is one being who can be with you without demanding talk or trying to make you eat another piece of pie.

[BleedingHeartRN]

78. One day will come

When you will be able to think of your wife and you will smile instead of cry. I know it doesn't seem like it will now, and as so many others have said before me, feel your pain, accept your broken heart, own your anger - these things are all real and there is no shame in any of your feelings. Your brave sharing throws each of us back to the day we experienced our own heartwrenching loss, and it makes us grateful we survived it when we thought we couldn't. You too will make it there someday, my friend. Just hold on now to the small comforts you do have, no matter how miniscule they may seem today.

A million hugs for you KC, and your poor doggie too.

:grouphug:

[me b zola]

79. I wish that I could take away your pain

Please take care of yourself :hug:

[Rex]

80. Be strong.

You have all my best wishes!!! :hug:

Be well.

[bdamomma]

81. King Crimson we are here for you.

:grouphug:

[ikojo]

82. King_Crimson...my thoughts are

with you..know that you do not enter the funeral home alone. Many from DU are there with you.


:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[Morgana LaFey]

83. It's not important that you be strong. It's important that you

allow yourself to grieve. Let it out. You've undergone a tremendous loss -- a traumatic and tremendous loss.

Be kind to yourself.

[northofdenali]

84. God grant you strength and peace, KC -

my heart goes out to you and family. Please take care :hug::cry::hug:

[enigmatic]

85. You've got a mountainful of people who are sending you love, KC

Including me. :hug:

[roguevalley]

86. sweetie, my dad passed in July and I thought nothing would ever

be good again. All the light had gone out of the world, all the hope, all the love and goodness. My dad was the finest man I ever met and how would I keep going? I know millions of people do every day but I couldn't figure it out.

How do you do this? You do, that is all. Every day it is more bearable, every day you get through things. Find diversion. Magazines was ours. We bought dozens and read them, the pictures and such were a way to pass time. Have loved ones with you. Have people stay over. And last and most important of all, get the grief out. Cry. Talk. Share your heart. Your sweet wife would never leave you, she hasn't left you. She's right beside you and will be there as long as you live. Every time I turn around, I see hummingbirds. They were dad's favorite bird. Blue jays sit on the porch and hang around our house. They didn't before he left us and they shouldn't be here now but they are.

You will find your way. We all do. It doesn't seem you will now. But you will. And we will help you.
God bless you and yours, my friend.

RV, who firmly believes that 'moving on' is the biggest myth going when something like this happens. My dad is with me always. I don't have to move on.

[Dervill Crow]

87. I am so, so sorry.

The most awful thing I have ever gone through was losing my parents, so I cannot imagine what this must be like for you to lose your wife. Please take comfort where you can. It will get better, but let it take as long as it needs to.

Blessed be. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: Wish there were words to take the pain away.

[Th1onein]

88. You would not be feeling so much pain if you did not love her so much.

This is the price that each of us pay for loving, as humans. Life is finite. But ask yourself: Would you rather not have loved her? I think that you would endure this pain, just for the chance of having the love. Most of us would.

The pain will come in waves, though. Between the waves, rest. With time, there will be less pain, and you can remember the good times more, instead of the bad.

Take care of yourself and be with friends and family. I can see, by all of the hearts you've been given, that you are loved, on DU.

[undergroundpanther]

89. Hugs

And cat purrs to you. So sad. Take care ok?
I know anything I would type here would be woefully inadequate.. Just take care...Use your supports hold onto them.They can give you strength to go on when you think yours is gone.And please hug the dog too.

[AikidoSoul]

90. Man, I'm so sorry for your loss

:hug:

May her spirit be at peace.

[faithnotgreed]

91. continued love and prayers kc

its so important to reach out when we are in need of strength - and often most difficult to do

keep talking and releasing friend
sending you and your dog companion many hugs and lots of love