http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/wiser/623661,CST-NWS-paige28.articleYOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN MARRIED, BUT ...
October 28, 2007
BY PAIGE WISER Sun-Times Columnist
It's not often that People magazine declares a Chicagoan to be one of the
Sexiest Men Alive, much less a Chicagoan who's a single crime-fighter who
stashes an extra pair of socks in his office. Justice is hot.
So it is with mixed feelings that we greet the news that U.S. Attorney
Patrick Fitzgerald is getting married. Apparently, when not crusading against
corruption, Fitzgerald managed to work in a little canoodling. He and Head Start
teacher Jennifer Letzkus are planning a small, private wedding. And they probably
shouldn't expect candlesticks from the mob, al-Qaida or Scooter Libby.
My gift to the happy couple? A little reality check. Because once a man reaches
sexy celebrity status, the relationship is doomed. It's just a matter of time
before at least one of the parties involved ends up heartbroken and on the horn
to Us magazine, spinning their side of the story.
But a breakup needn't be all bad. Celebrities have much to teach us about healing.
Here's the right way to part ways:
1. Book a flight to Hawaii.
Once your love story has ended, the first order of business is surfing lessons.
Surfing champ Kelly Slater is the ultimate rebound man, having romanced Pamela Anderson,
Gisele Bundchen, and a post-Timberlake Cameron Diaz. Most recently, he's been spotted
comforting Bar Rafaeli, freshly split from Leonardo DiCaprio. Kelly Slater is more
satisfying than Haagen Dazs.
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