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HOW TO TELL REPUBLICANS FROM DEMOCRATS:
* Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group. * Republicans consume three-fourths of all the rutabagas produced in this country. The remainder is thrown out. * Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paint brushes. * Democrats give their worn-out clothes to those less fortunate. Republicans wear theirs. * Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs. * Democrats name their children after currently-popular sports figures, politicians, and entertainers. Republican children are named after their parents or grandparents, according to where the money is. * Democrats keep trying to cut down on smoking but are not successful. Neither are Republicans. * Republicans tend to keep their shades drawn, although there is seldom any reason why they should. Democrats ought to, but don't. * Republicans study the financial pages of the newspaper. Democrats put them in the bottom of the bird cage. * Most of the stuff alongside the road has been thrown out of car windows by Democrats. * Republicans raise dahlias, Dalmatians, and eyebrows. Democrats raise Airedales, kids, and taxes. * Democrats eat the fish they catch. Republicans hang them on the wall. * Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel that they're entitled to a little fun first. * Democrats make plans and then do something else. Republicans follow the plans their grandfathers made. * Republicans sleep in twin beds - some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats
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