Fighting terror with a flashlight

[babylonsister]

Is this the entry to the theater of the absurd? Are we there yet?


http://www.npr.org/blogs/news/2007/08/sending_terrorists_running_for.html

Sending Terrorists Running for the Bathroom

If the war on terror makes you sick, well, soon you won't be the only one. The Department of Homeland Security is developing a new weapon to fight the bad guys: a flashlight that makes a person throw up. It looks like an old-fashioned, if somewhat bulky, light. But don't look too closely. The bright light pulses, which vary in color and duration, induce disorientation, vertigo and nausea.

The DHS says the flashlight could be in use by 2010. Of course, terrorists could just close their eyes or wear dark glasses or run away. But if they look, watch out: barf-o-rama.

Technology Review reports that researchers are now analyzing combinations of wavelengths and light intensities to see which ones make you sickest. And this fall, they will test the device on subjects who have some experience driving the porcelain bus, Penn State University students.

[monktonman]

1. I always wanted to puke on a cop

[shain from kane]

2. Can't imagine what mutton smells like the second time around. n/t

[Maddy McCall]

3. I wish I had special headlights like that...

so that everytime I meet a vehicle that's got those xenon headlights on bright, I could stick it to them with my vomit lights.

[havocmom]

6. Beware the Puke-O-Beams of Maddy!

:rofl:

[Maddy McCall]

11. LOL

Puke-o-beams.

:rofl:

:hi:

[Me.]

4. Or Mount A Counter Insurgency And Duct Tape The Tops Of The Flashlights

Our tax dollars at work. Besides we don't need anything else to make us sick, isn't * and Chertoff enough?

[havocmom]

5. Sounds more like a crowd control device- for use on protesters.

Making terrorists puke is gonna keep the HOMELAND safe?

What the fuck is in the water coolers in D.C. that they buy any dumb gadget some dingbat in a corporate lab can devise?

[babylonsister]

7. LOVE the chapeau on that cat!

And I agree with you; if this is their idea of combatting terror, it seems to me they don't really have a clue.

[tjwash]

8. The same thing in the water coolers that had them start the star wars project.

nt

[havocmom]

9. Hey, You gave ME a hair-brained idea! Maybe I could get a job in bushland

Make really BIG flashlights with the Beam-O-Puke, and mount them on orbital platforms! We could solve the obesity problem in a few weeks!

And it would put an end to those annoying Jenny Craig and Nutri System commercials!

:woohoo: We're saved!

[tjwash]

12. The Beam-OPuke! Damn. Does that have "19.95, and call in the next 5 minutes..." written all over it?

That's gonna be big I tell you...BIG.

[tjwash]

10. Police Rave suspect to death...film at 11.

It has a handy backup switch on it as well that allows the cops to bash someone in the head with it just in case the puke option doesn't work.

[dkofos]

13. Get a mirror and give it back to them!!

[tjwash]

14. Dude...you just hacked their system before it even got into production.

Everyone thinks I'm crazy because I wear this tin foil hat. Who's laughing now...WHO'S LAUGHING NOW???

:rofl:

[shain from kane]

15. Homeland Security: New rule --- No mirrors allowed. Subject to search and seizure.

There will be a protest when women (and men) start looking like raggedy-ass bums. Then again, it could become the new look, and beauty care suppliers and manufacturers, hairdressers, and barbers go bankrupt.

[TygrBright]

16. Seriously, haven't these guys ever heard of things called "mirrors?" n/t