Yank-a-Doodle-Do! (James Wolcott)

[Scurrilous]

"The middle-aged neoconservative citizen-soldier for whom everything changed on 9/11 and has been downhill ever since has been underserved in the marketplace when it comes to what Kingsley Amis (or was it Philip Larkin?) (perhaps it was both of them) whimsically called "wank material." We unhawkish liberals are in no twitchy need of such outlets, of course, being already sated from all the godless, faceless, promiscuous, neutron wiggling helter-skelter of pagan sex we enjoy in our own private Babylon beneath the hanging gardens of Arianna Huffington.

But the middle-aged neocon seeking age-appropriate wank fodder has been forced to lead an erotic life of quiet desperation between bloodcurdling cries for war on Israel's behalf.

Until now.

A visionary entrepreneur is presenting a pinup product that will inspire neocon men and young Republicans with MILF fantasies to launch their Peter North projectiles year-round:

The Atlas Shrugs Calendar

Those lips, that hair, those bold assertions--it's every neocon's Rita Hayworth wet dream, though I suspect that even the most tail-thumping horndog will find the presence of this goateed git in the frame something of a cock-crinkler, to quote Kingsley Amis again, and the inclusion of this old boulder will do nothing to improve sap production."

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/blogs/wolcott/2007/07/the-middle-aged.html


For those unfamiliar with Pamela aka Atlas Shrugs:

http://atlasshrugs2000.typepad.com/atlas_shrugs/