Paris Hilton for President

[kpete]

Paris Hilton for President
by Hunter
Sat Jun 09, 2007 at 03:18:05 PM PDT

Attention, please. I have learned some very important and interesting and remarkable things, and they are things which we must discuss, right now, and at length, and to the exclusion of all else.

...................

We should, in deference to the enforced vapidity of the press, simply abandon all hope of anything better, and elect Paris Hilton as our president. We have already had a reality TV series revolving around the seemingly simple proposition of trying to somehow coax an honest day's work out of the delicate and endowed heiress: this could be the much-needed blockbuster sequel.

...............

We've lived through six years of Bush. We've seen Paris' boobs, and we've seen Bush's boobs, and Bush's various and more free-ranging boobs have done more lasting damage and gotten far less slavish coverage. It is entirely possible, I admit, that under a Paris Hilton presidency things would take a dramatic turn towards the even worse, and that her administration would, between drinking binges, White House sex tapes, and pandering celebration of the wealthy and powerful that sails right past the lofty heights of the oligarchic and into circuslike and Neroesque, along with all the rest of the presumably predictable peccadillos -- none of these flaws on their face much worse, we must admit, than the abstract behavior of many previous presidents -- bring even more ruin upon the nation.

But at least it would be very well covered, in the press. Very, very well covered indeed. With cameras, and helicopters, and driving scenes, and earnest psychological analyses, and computer generated models of the various rooms she might or might not be in at any particular time, and smiles on anchors' faces like it was Christmas morning and Santa had just delivered anatomically correct Ken and Barbie dolls just like they had asked for, and pundits galore, by satellite and in studio and via telephone and remote feeds and perhaps the entire prolonged event could even gain its own musical theme: maybe a single riff, descending, a siren call towards national apocalypse.

The national interest, covered with such fervor and fanfare? The fate and future of the nation, the fate of the courts, of our sky and soil, our national security, the future dreams of our children, all covered as if it were a single extraordinarily wealthy and connected and spoiled white girl?

We should be so lucky.

MUCH MUCH more at:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2007/6/9/181441/2008

[BlueJazz]

1. Hey...I'll vote for her. I've been wanting to get on her "Good Side"...

..for quite some time.

She's Pretty...She's Rich...She's intelligent...
OK..OK...She's Pretty and Rich...That's good enough for me..

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

2. This piece is about much more than PH - you really must read the whole thing

It's worth it. There's no way to excerpt it. In fact the excerpt here kind of gives away the ending, so unless you read the entire piece you miss all the wonderful connections that culminate in the author's proposition.

It's beautifully written, it's funny as hell and it provides the most elegant analysis of Fred Thompson's appeal that I have read to date.