Breaking: VP Cheney to get a heart!!

[Breeze54]

Vice President Cheney needs new pacemaker battery

http://www.startribune.com/587/story/1233792.html

Vice President Dick Cheney, who has a history of heart problems, will undergo
a routine cardiology check-up on Friday, his spokeswoman said.

snip-->

WASHINGTON —

Vice President Dick Cheney's routine checkup on Friday revealed no new blockages in his heart,
but doctors said he needs a new battery for a special pacemaker he has in his chest,
a spokeswoman said.

The battery in his implanted cardiac defibrillator is reaching its limit, said Megan McGinn,
deputy press secretary for the vice president

More.....

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To bad Kevorkian lost his license to practice! :rofl:

[Sanity Claws]

1. But he didn't use his first one!

[Breeze54]

2. LOL! I don't think he ever had one!

Just that mechanical one he got years ago! :P

[Betsy Ross]

11. Use it or lose it! n/t

[loyalkydem]

3. LOL

That was wrong on so many levels LOL

[Breeze54]

6. LOL!

Sowwy!! :rofl: (not!!)

Welcome to DU!!! :hi:

;)

[MUAD_DIB]

4. Well, considering all of the available hearts from the

recently deceased US troops and Iraqis you would think that Cheney could have his pick.

Myabe he is shoppping for the right GI to bite it so he can make out lie a bandit.

</sarcasm>

[monktonman]

Too much bravery in those hearts for him

After the transplant he might grow a set of balls and want to take back his five deferments.

[Breeze54]

10. On the side..... (off topic)

</sarcasm> = : sarcasm :

without the spaces! ;)

:sarcasm:

[EFerrari]

5. Great! Now, if Bush gets a brain and Gates gets the nerve, we're set.

[Breeze54]

8. You're dreaming again!!

:rofl:

[eleny]

9. DUzy for you, ubetcha!

[EFerrari]

15. Have I mentioned how much I hate these people?

lol

:hi:

[SharonRB]

13. Yeah, and Condi can buy herself a new pair of ruby slippers

and change her name to Dorothy.

:hi:

[frogcycle]

7. give him an oil-fired generator

screw the battery - he doesn't believe in hybrids

[dweller]

12. it'll never happen ...

they've already tried transplanting a variety of species, human, ape, pig, lizard, snake, rat, etc.

they've all rejected him.

dp

[SharonRB]

14. You read my mind n/t

[ShortnFiery]

16. Come Around Big Dick!

Total Collapse of Dick's Heart
Lyrics by John Cougarstein http://www.cougarstein.com/index.html

Sung to "Total Eclipse of the Heart"

(Come around)
Every now and then I get a little bit worried that you're never coming 'round

(Come around)
Every now and then I get a little bit tired memorizing nuclear codes by myself

(Come around)
Every now and then I know I'll never get the budget without all the cartoons you draw

(Come around)
Every now and then I need you to remind me not to dance in front of John Ashcroft

(Come around, Big Dick)
Every now and then I fall apart

(Come around, Big Dick)
Every now and then I fall apart

(Come around)
Every now and then I mix up King Hussein of Jordan and Saddam Hussein of Iraq

(Come around)
Every now and then I tell a racist joke in front of Colin Powell 'cuz I forget he is black

(Come around)
Every now and then I get a little bit edgy and I need you to score me some blow

(Come around)
Every now and then I wonder why did they cancel "Small Wonder," that was such a good show

(Come around, Big Dick)
Every now and then I fall apart

(Come around, Big Dick)
Every now and then I fall apart

And I need you now tonight
and I need you more than ever

I lost the number for Condi Rice
and I lost a rematch with Grenada

And I can't call my Dad for advice
'cuz he's cutting me off

Together we can make it to the end of the term
I promise not to stain Lynne's dress with my sperm

I really need you tonight
Grenada kicked my ass tonight
Grenada kicked my ass tonight

Once upon a time it was parties and brew
now they make me work until dark

Don't know what to do
Total collapse of Dick's heart

Once I was the dumbest guy in the room


Don't know what to do
Total collapse of Dick's heart

*Can be downloaded (MP3) ---> http://www.cougarstein.com/tunes.html

[Breeze54]

18. Awesome!! LOL!

:rofl: Thanks!!

[ShortnFiery]

19. Thanks. The lyrics fit in years ago - but the combination song parody is still quite hilarious.

I'm not in anyway acquainted with the guy, but it's worth the visit to the site and an MP3 download ... for IMO guaranteed *hearty belly laugh.* :thumbsup:

:hi:

[warren pease]

17. And keep the managed care vampires in cost-control heaven...

.. by having a geologist do the initial exploratory work to see where the shriveled little lump of coal actually is.

And then, surgery completed, may the Dick of the Ages waltz by a gigantic wall of leaky microwaves sometime real, real soon. Bzzz, click, whirrrrr, whirrrrr, bzzzzz... click.

Lights out.



wp

[emilyg]

20. I wish him .. oh hell nevermind