*Alert* Man Sues Over Long-Lasting Erection From Boost Plus

[EV_Ares]

Watch that Boost Plus:

NEW YORK (AP) - A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized.

The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it.

Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment that day for the condition, called severe priapism.

They say Woods, 29, underwent surgery for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another.

(rest of story @ link below:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8PJ2RN80&show_article=1&catnum=0

[MadMaddie]

1. Hmm..suppose if had just drank water he would have been fine..

just sayin...

[Kurovski]

69. Or, ironically, something stiff like bourbon, perhaps.

[Xipe Totec]

2. Let me get this straight,

the guy's name is woods?

This isn't a joke or something? :think:


:rofl:

[jilln]

11. Not to mention the name of the product

which says it all, no?

[mcg]

57. Woods woke up with wood. nt

[rhett o rick]

58. Right and you want to get it straight. lol nm

[William769]

3. Oy vey.

I get this paid for by Medicaid, does this mean they are going to take it away from me?

[Kurovski]

4. Boneritus.

That's gotta be hard.

[slackmaster]

5. This has to be a sales stunt

Watch sales of Boost Plus and the stock price of Novartis AG go up firmly.

[Kurovski]

14. So then

they're trying to stick it to us?

[slackmaster]

43. They're giving us the shaft

BIG time.

[Kurovski]

44. I wish companies would stop yanking us..

[slackmaster]

46. They're trying to make us blow our wad

We must maintain control.

[Kurovski]

47. I'm keeping a firm hold on my spendings.

They can't manipulate me.

[HeeBGBz]

16. Some stiff competition for other nutritional drinks. n/t

[Edweird]

22. Good PR + A lack of critical thinking skills = this crap being reported as news.

[Kurovski]

24. Oh come on, can't we talk about some dicks OUTSIDE of Washington DC for a change?

[Edweird]

25. Of course! I'm not ragging on anybody here. I'm just amazed that this was on the newswires as honest

to goodness news. That's all. Chill my brother.

[Kurovski]

30. Sorry, couldn't resist the opportunity

for another cheap joke. :hi:

[Edweird]

35. I'm such a tard. I JUST got the dick joke.

:toast:

[Kurovski]

39. I knew it would come to you.

:toast:

[rucky]

54. heh-heh. you said "go up firmly". n/t

[emilyg]

6. I know some men

who would gladly trade places for a few days lol

[Richard Steele]

117. Hope he wins. I need a precedent for my billion-dollar class-action suit against "Mr. Softee Inc".

:evilgrin:

[Kurovski]

118. If anyone can lick 'em, it's you dick.

[Richard Steele]

120. Heah me now, and beleef me laduh: Mister Softee is going DOWN!

:rofl:

[Cronus Protagonist]

7. This is clearly astroturf for the drink manufacturers

Think about it for a second or two. Who benefits?

[Spinzonner]

8. So, will the manufacturer

get a stiff fine ?

(Sorry)

[uppityperson]

9. Ingredients from the website... (did he drink it or rub it on?)

While I agree priapism is a dangerous, unpleasant thing, I don't see any ingredients here that would cause it.

http://www.novartisnutrition.com/us/productDetail?id=794
Vanilla:
Water, corn syrup solids, sugar, vegetable oil (canola, high oleic sunflower, corn oils), milk protein concentrate, calcium caseinate, sodium caseinate, and less than 0.5%: potassium citrate, magnesium chloride, soy lecithin, calcium phosphate, salt, ascorbic acid, sodium ascorbate, beta carotene, biotin, niacinamide, calcium pantothenate, vitamin B12, vitamin B6 hydrochloride, riboflavin, thiamine hydrochloride, folic acid, potassium iodide, magnesium phosphate, artificial flavor, choline chloride, vitamin E acetate, vitamin A palmitate, vitamin D3, vitamin K1, carrageenan, potassium chloride, zinc sulfate, manganese sulfate, cupric sulfate, chromium chloride, sodium molybdate, sodium selenite, ferrous sulfate.
UD

In addition to the above: Chocolate-flavored BOOST PLUS contains cocoa processed with alkali and ferric pyrophosphate (instead of ferrous sulfate); Strawberry-flavored BOOST PLUS contains Red 3.

[Kurovski]

121. It's a great marinade for beef.

[rsmith6621]

10. He Has To Be Hard Up.....

.......for some cash...

[Xipe Totec]

12. He's not out of the woods yet... nt

[rug]

18. . . . . though his name is Woods.

[Xipe Totec]

19. coincidence

not.

:rofl:

[Ravy]

20. I think he has a legitimate bone to pick with the company... (n/t)

[Gman]

13. Buy stock in Boost Plus now!

[Kurovski]

37. It's rising in the face of this news.

[Avalux]

15. There is nothing in Boost Plus that would cause severe priapsim.

Maybe someone slipped a mickey in his Boost Plus without him knowing it? :rofl:

[Kurovski]

36. Slipped a what in his who now?

[donco]

17. When he was a kid I wonder

if his nickname was woody? :)

[uppityperson]

21. Hard to know

[Kurovski]

28. The defense will pull it out of him.

[tjwash]

23. He'd better hope for a hung jury

:yoiks:

[Kurovski]

38. His lawyer better thoroughly review his briefs.

[tjwash]

49. Only if he wants it to stand up in court.

This is getting locked soon, isn't it?

[Kurovski]

50. Put as much of it in as you can.

And then we'll see how much further we can take it.

[Kurovski]

52. The oral arguments will really drive his point home.

[tjwash]

74. Judge enters the courtroom--Bailiff-"all rise"

[Kurovski]

75. ...For the Honorable Maya Dikk Hertz.

[flying rabbit]

60. he's only in it for the money shot

[Kurovski]

63. I'd like to have been present for the motions made before the judge.

[Kurovski]

72. I hope that if he takes it to an Appelate court, they will affirm the decision.

[mcg]

62. Willy meat with stiff opposition in court? nt

[Kurovski]

66. The petit jury will decide the stiffness of the sentence

based on whether or not the facts are presented by a cunning linguist.

[Seedersandleechers]

26. Instead of going to the hospital

he should have gone and hired a hooker....

[Kurovski]

40. There are enough damages in this case as it is.

[Kurovski]

59. But would there have been a witness for the prostitution?

[krispos42]

97. As long as he agrees on a flat fee

If she charges by the stroke... ooch.

[Kurovski]

101. I've been around the world, yet I've never heard of such a thing.

Maybe he has a check stub.

[krispos42]

103. I wince at where the counter might go...

:rofl:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

27. Oddest Lawsuit I've Seen In Quite Some Time. How On Earth Could He Think Boost Did This?

What possible medical evidence does he have for such a claim?

[Kurovski]

83. Aren't the court's caseloads swollen enough as it is?

[Swamp Rat]

29. Prosecutor Hair F. Buttz is calling for a stiff punitive measure.

:D

[Kurovski]

31. Thank God someone is on it.

[Swamp Rat]

32. Action reporter Jeff Gannon is on it like...

*pre-emptive delete* :D

[Kurovski]

33. OMG. Where can I get some of that boost shit?

I'll need it for the rest of my life from here on out.

[krispos42]

98. Well, there goes it for me

Nothing kills the mood like Rudy in drag. I need some porn or something.

:shudder:

[Kurovski]

102. Let's put joint action against the twisted bastard.

Or is that too nuts?

[Kurovski]

105. We can charge him with alienation of erections.

[krispos42]

109. Erection fraud? n/t

[Kurovski]

110. I'm too inflamed and angry to think straight.

There's a chance we might blow this.

[Cronus Protagonist]

34. Ah, but does he have the BALLS to go with it? (n/t)

[Kurovski]

88. The balls are in his court.

[dave29]

41. I hope they are severely penalized

I won't get into my reasons at length.

[Kurovski]

42. Don't make me beg for it.

Spill.

[dave29]

76. Ok, here it comes.

My story begins deep in the Australian Bush. I was working hard for U.P. Pharmaceuticals, a small upstart with what I thought was huge potential. I was young, vibrant, and perhaps a bit arrogant... let me say... eager to swing my weight around.

I had discovered a flower which dripped with a nectar all of the wildlife seemed unable to resist. It peaked my curiosity, but was to start a chain of events that left me the drained man I am today.

I cannot write these words without a sense of nostalgia for the deep penetration our team made into the science of the ernormilingus vibrosi as it came to be known, and the impact it had on U.P's bottom line.

The weight of these thoughts is, however, too much. I must retreat to consider revisiting this subject, despite an almost irresistable urge to plow onwards with reckless abandon.

[Kurovski]

77. A tawdry tale of poking around in nature for selfish ends.

Capitalist pig!

[dave29]

78. I confess to succumbing

to the sweet embrace of capitalist desire. It was a mistake I shall never forget, for the entire length of my days.

[Kurovski]

106. I see. Always looking over your shoulder for the long arm of the law?

[Richard Steele]

45. This thread is a good example of the serious discussion his claim deserves. (THX Kurovski!)

He's an idjit looking for a jury-ordered payday.
I hope he loses and gets slapped for BoostCo's
court costs.

[Kurovski]

48. Slapped around like a hairy little monkey, at that.

[Richard Steele]

81. Let's not go dragging my personal life into this, OK?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Seriously, though: You've worked LONG and HARD
to make this thread a real STANDOUT!

And few DUers appreciate a good phallic pun as much as I do;
I guess having one on my frickin BIRTH CERTIFICATE just makes
me more appreciative of the genré as a whole...

Just wanna give you a big :thumbsup: for making this thread so much fun!

Sincerely,
Richard.

[Kurovski]

90. Well, I was gonna say something about your name...

but It was remanded by the judge. Which is an unusual ruling in my case.

[tjwash]

51. Now tyou have the perfect handle for this thread.

:rofl:

[Kurovski]

53. The golden mean.

[Richard Steele]

82. Heh heh...you said "handle"...heh heh...

[Screwfly]

55. A hard boiled detective sums it up

The guy should've drank it with someone he loved.

[Kurovski]

94. Oh my gosh. He thought boiling it would help?

[rucky]

56. Severe priapism is no laughing matter!

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Kurovski]

61. Hardly.

It's deeply serious. I don't like the erection this thread has taken.

[mcg]

65. it's a big problem. nt

[Kurovski]

86. It might ultimately be up to the high court to take it.

[Kurovski]

64. How many complaints have been filed

over this thread?

[rucky]

67. If you don't get a DUzy out of this one... n/t

[Kurovski]

68. Oh for gods sake...

are you saying I have to do Jeff AGAIN?

[firefox_fan]

70. I'm all for erection reform.

Sorry...

[Kurovski]

71. No stuffing the ballot boxes.

[Canuckistanian]

73. I Hope his lawyer knows the penal code

Or he's screwed

[Kurovski]

80. Do you think the company can get on top of future Subpoenas?

[dailykoff]

79. That must have been hard on him.

We shouldn't laugh at his hardship.

[Kurovski]

85. It must have been grinding.

I don't envy the lawyers trying to mount this case.

[dailykoff]

116. These cases have to be handled carefully.

They can be explosive.

[La_Fourmi_Rouge]

84. Oh, shit!

[Kurovski]

87. That's what he said.

[underseasurveyor]

89. HEY NOW y'all.............

Show dick some respect will ya :evilgrin:

[Kurovski]

91. But seriously, is there a statute of stimulations on this case,

or does the protuberance of evidence discount it?

[underseasurveyor]

92. One might have to ponder a while

and pause, over the mounting evidence.

[Kurovski]

93. Indeed. It will take an aggressive lawyer to straddle that one.

[Kurovski]

95. I was thinking...Wouldn't "Quid Pro Quo"

be a good name for a prophylactic?

They could put them in bottles of Boost Plus in much the same way Dolly Parton put towels in boxes of Breeze.

Or did she use to just pull them out of the box? I can't remember.

[aaronbees]

96. Maybe he should've should've stuck with the ....

Boost Pudding? :scared:

http://www.boost.com/boostpuddcons.html
(It's available in vanilla, chocolate and butterscotch.)


:tinfoilhat: :shrug:

[Kurovski]

99. Hmmm...

put the prophylactics in the pudding instead of the other way around?

Hmmm.

[Kurovski]

100. To be fair, is it possible that his batch was tampered with?

[Kurovski]

104. Nah. the problem would have been bigger and more widespread.

[Kurovski]

107. Justice isn't blind, it's one-eyed.

[Kurovski]

108. Doesn't anyone here have a drum set?

:shrug:

[Hubert Flottz]

111. Sounds like that guy really has a hard on for Novartis AG

Sounds like he's really worked up over a little thang!

Edit...I'll bet his wife took it awfully hard too.

Hard Times?

He needs to get hold of himself and try and find the solution.

[Kurovski]

113. Maybe he wants to get his hands on a big basket of scratch?

[Hubert Flottz]

115. The case of the misguided muscle

That's one head that really does have a mind of it's own!

Hard on...Apply directly to the forehead.

[muriel_volestrangler]

112. "complete oral supplement"

yeah, that's what he tried to tell all the girls ...

[Kurovski]

114. "Vitamin love". I want to see that pervert clutching iron bars in the pen.

I want to sit on that jury. I want to help grind the wheels of justice slow and fine.

That'd fix him.

[Eurobabe]

119. What a dick!

:rofl:

[Parche]

122. What A Prick

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Kurovski]

123. I just can't swallow this.