Late-Night Political Jokes for Dems

[Amy6627]

"It looks like the boys at San Quentin prison will soon be riding a scooter. Former Dick Cheney aide Scooter Libby now on trial for perjury. Perjury? If you're on trial for perjury, why do they even bother to make you promise to tell the whole truth?" --Jay Leno

"You know whose birthday it is today? Vice President Dick Cheney's. In fact, they even had a party for him. A lawyer jumped out of a cake and Cheney shot him." --Jay Leno

"In his State of the Union address, President Bush said our economy is on the move. It's moving to India, but hey." --Jay Leno

"Vice President Cheney lashed out at Hillary Clinton the other day. He said on CNN that he doesn't believe Hillary would be a good president. I can understand that. I mean, his administration has raised the bar so high." --Jay Leno

"And Pennsylvania Republican Don Sherwood -- he's a congressman and car dealer who lost his House seat last Fall after he ran an ad admitting he had a mistress -- is refusing to pay her the rest of the half a million dollars he promised her. Let that be a lesson to all young women out there -- when you sleep with a member of Congress, get your money up front. ... This woman is surprised he lied. She is surprised he lied? He's a politician, a car dealer and a guy. That's the trifecta of lying." --Jay Leno

"President Bush gave the State of the Union address last night. ... I would say Bush got a cold reception from the Democratically-controlled Congress. I think Saddam got a warmer reception at his hanging." --Jay Leno

"I'll give President Bush credit though. He addressed the problems troubling Americans -- the war in Iraq, the economy, the need to develop alternative fuels. He seemed to know what we were thinking. It's almost as if he was reading our mail or listening to our phone calls." --Jay Leno

"31 million people watched the president -- many, I suspect, in hopes that he would get voted off. ... One of the big topics, of course, was the war. The president said he understands that Americans are losing patience, but he would like us to give his new plan a chance to work. In other words, all he is saying is give war a chance" --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Bush now has the lowest presidential approval rating since Richard Nixon. Now, here's another coincidence. Nixon had a dog named 'Checkers.' Bush plays checkers with his dog" --David Letterman

[Catamount]

1. Thanks--K&R

[A Simple Game]

2. Thanks for the jokes. n/t

[rpgamerd00d]

3. "He's a politician, a car dealer and a guy. That's the trifecta of lying."

:rofl: