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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-16-06 07:00 PM
Original message
I have bladder cancer
It's stage 1. My doctor isn't treating me with chemo at this time. I had a tumor removed last week and he felt he got it all.

I follow up with him in three months and if there's a recurrence, then I have another surgery and chemo.

I feel a little overwhelmed.

I hatedhatedhated telling my parents! I'm an only child, they're not in the greatest of health, and what parent wants to hear that their kid has cancer, even if it's not that serious?

I'm sorry, I guess I'm rambling. Thanks for listening.
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-16-06 11:02 PM
Response to Original message
1. Oh, sweety, I'm so sorry.
:hug: I was really hoping that wouldn't be the diagnosis. Catching this at stage 1 is *very good*, though. Telling the parents...I know what you're talking about there. You don't want to scare them half to death, but you don't want to treat them like little kids, shielding them from the truth, either. Sometimes it's hard to winnow thru all the new information going thru your head to figure out what is 'safe' to tell them.
Don't be shy about asking your doc for something to help you sleep or for something for your nerves.
And there are psychologists that only deal with oncology patients...they can help you cope if you need the extra help.
:hug::hug::hug:
Lars
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-16-06 11:07 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Thank you so much
You have really been a huge help these past couple of days, I have to tell you. :hug::hug:

I went in there with a good attitude, hoping for the best but prepared for whatever. Given all of my symptoms, I pretty much figured it was going to be cancer, to be honest. My doctor is cool. He spent a lot of time with me during my first appointment and also today answering *all* of my questions (and wow - did I ever have a lot of obscure ones).

I still have a therapist that I've been seeing since my husband died two years ago, and she's been really helpful too, so I do have a good support system around me. It just seems like a lot right now.

But thanks for listening - this is all a big help, and I really do appreciate it so much. :hug:
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-17-06 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. Glad I can help even a little, flamingyouth.
My doc got so used to me hauling out my little blue notebook and asking a ton of questions that she started asking to look at my questions. :D
Writing down her answers helped a lot later on, especially when I was having to recreate those answers for other health-care providers. In fact,I keep a note card in my purse that has all my surgery dates, meds I'm taking, allergies, doctor's phone #'s, etc.

You've been hit with so much the past few years. :hug:

Feel free to pm if you need anything or to just vent. :hug:
Screaming into a pillow does help, even if it does scare the animals. :D

Lars
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ulysses Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-18-06 09:56 PM
Response to Original message
4. !
Good thoughts your way, fy. :hug:
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-19-06 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Thanks, uly
Much appreciated. :hug:
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OzarkDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-18-06 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
5. So sorry to hear it
How are you feeling? I'm sure your parents will be ok, focus on taking care of yourself.

It sounds like they got it very early, and hopefully you won't have anything to worry about. But its perfectly normal to be worried about it now and until you see the doctor again.

A cancer diagnosis is a very stressful event, so its no wonder you feel overwhelmed. Everyone does in that situation. Talking about it, especially with others who've been through it, can be a big help. You can look into a cancer support group by asking your doctor or you can come and talk to us here.

We'll be thinking of you let us know how its going.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-19-06 01:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. Thank you, OzarkDem
I'm feeling a little better now. I had developed a post-op infection, but I think it's clearing up now.

I'm going to get a second opinion about my treatment, after talking to a few other people who have had bladder cancer. Not seeing the doctor for three months just seems like a long time. So tomorrow I'm going to talk to another place and get their input.

I'm so grateful for this group and for all of you here. Thank you for your support. :hug:

I know that I can handle whatever life throws my way, but it's been hard to watch what this has been doing to my parents. My mom had to have an EKG yesterday (she has a heart condition). I'm encouraging her to talk to her friends about this; she has a tendency to keep things inside, which isn't good.

Again, thanks a lot.
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Irishonly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-19-06 02:46 PM
Response to Original message
8. I am do sorry
and you have every right to ramble. The "C" word is one of the foulest words you will hear. I will keep you in prayers or positive thoughts-which ever you prefer. We will think that there will be no recurrence. Again, I am sorry. I had breast cancer but even thought it's different kinds, let me know if you ever want to unload.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-19-06 04:25 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Thank you so much, Irishonly
And welcome to DU. Prayers and positive thoughts are always welcome and are so appreciated. I'm sorry you had breast cancer. I hope you are doing well now. :)
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Imalittleteapot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-19-06 06:26 PM
Response to Original message
10. Caught up in my own troubles and
forgot to wish you the best for a speedy recovery. I'll be thinking of you.

:hug:
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Nov-19-06 10:24 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Thank you
Edited on Sun Nov-19-06 10:26 PM by flamingyouth
We all have our own troubles. I guess that's why we're here. I hope you're doing okay. I'll keep you in my thoughts as well. If you need a shoulder, please send me a PM any time. :hug:
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Auntie Bush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Nov-22-06 11:58 PM
Response to Original message
12. I wish you so much luck and a Happy Thanksgiving.Take care of yourself and
I'll send healing prayers to you and your parents.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Nov-23-06 12:30 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. Thank you so much, Auntie Bush!
I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving as well. I have so much to be grateful for... so much love and support from family and friends (both online and IRL). I'm just overwhelmed by love and am so thankful.

The shock of the diagnosis has subsided a bit but my symptoms have returned, so it's back to the doctor again first thing Monday. Oh well, like Gilda said, "It's always something!" :hug:
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LeighAnn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-24-06 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. Hope you're feeling okay tonite
Hi there! Sorry for taking so long to weigh in with my well-wishes and prayers! Very proud of you!

When you say your symptoms have returned, do you mean the symptoms of the cancer or the symptoms of the subsequent infection? Just wondering. Have you got decent pain medication and all? Does Uristat help you? Sorry for the thousand questions.
Hope you find lots of peace and comfort this weekend *~*

Take care!
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Nov-24-06 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Thanks, LeighAnn
Unfortunately, the symptoms are ambiguous at this point. I have blood in my urine and it's not from an infection (sorry for the gory details :(). I need to check with him on Monday. I've been pain off and on but I've been getting by. I have been receiving *so* much support, I'm just overwhelmed. I feel like the luckiest person in the world. :)

I went to a yoga class yesterday and it was awesome; I even did a couple of handstands and some pretty intense poses (I was having a good day). Then had an awesome meal with my family. Right now I'm on Pyridium and Percocet (when I need the latter). Hopefully he can find the cause of this latest bout of symptoms. It's a little scary.

Thanks again. :)
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Bullwinkle925 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-27-06 01:04 AM
Response to Original message
16. I'm sorry to hear your news.
I'm assuming your physician is an oncologist? Sounds like you're on top of it. I've worked with surgeons and have been around oncologists for several years. Having trust in your doctor is one of the most important things.
I'll keep you in my thoughts.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-27-06 05:46 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. No, he's a urologist and a surgeon.
He does treat cancer, but he's not an oncologist. I have an appointment with an oncologist scheduled for next Wednesday. The consultation will last about and an hour or 75 minutes and he's come very highly recommended by a friend who's an oncology nurse.

My current doctor isn't even concerned that I still have daily nausea and vomiting,tons of pain, blood in my urine and that we have absolutely no treatment plan. So it's more than a little frustrating. According to my friend the nurse, this new dr. is wonderful, easy to talk to and will allay all of my fears (which unfortunately seem to be multiplying).

I feel like crap physically. I think I'd be dealing with this better emotionally if I weren't so miserable. :(

Thanks for your post. :)
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Bullwinkle925 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-27-06 06:15 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Your appt. is this Weds. - 29th?
Good. Your oncologist will take matters into hand. Ask all the questions - take notes with you if you must. Will someone else be attending the appt. with you?

:hug:
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-27-06 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. No - next Wednesday the 6th
And my fiance will be going with me. I made the mistake of going in alone to get my diagnosis (not a good idea - that was all a blur), and we're even considering a tape recorder, which someone else recommended.

Thanks a lot. :hug:
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Irishonly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Nov-27-06 09:41 PM
Response to Reply #19
20. I am
glad your fiancee is going. Two sets of ears are better than one. Writing down questions is a great help and taking notes is also a great idea. You will find that both of you focus on different things and when you talk about it you will have a better idea of what all was said. If you don't understand something, stop and ask. You are an important part of your treatment and the more relaxed and informed you feel, the more you feel you have a bit of control. Tape recorders are also an excellent tool. Do you have access to a support group?
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Selteri Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-28-06 12:45 PM
Response to Original message
21. I know it's scary but you can make it through this.
Edited on Tue Nov-28-06 12:51 PM by Selteri
Use this scare to make yourself a stronger person, you got very lucky that this was found in time where it could be easily plucked out by surgery. While it's difficult right now you will get better and know to keep an eye out now. It was caught in stage 1, not stage 4, I suspect it was negative nodes as well as negative margins and no metastasizing or else you'd be getting chemo or radiation treatment.

THe chemo doctor might recommend a follow up treatment with chemo, it's not uncommon, I'd suggest doing your research. When I was diagnosed stage 4 the chemo doctors were suggesting a treatment based on "Maybe"s which I did not like becaue they were assuing things that were not present in the results. I had Stage 4a Metasticized cancer that literally had only recently gotten out of my appendix. At the moment I'm recovering from surgery from a problem from the chemo - Radiation and most likely will start chemo again on the 14th. Through this whole process I've made goals and kept fighting forward because it is the only way I can make it through some of the harder days; but with support of friends and family I have made it through some very hard times and will make it through harder times in the future as well. I'm more than sure you can do the same.

Just being told I had cancer crushed the world around me for a few hours. I know it is very difficult at times when a stray thought or such will caught you up, but the strongest medicine is determination to live and not let the cancer beat you.
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-28-06 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. Thanks, Selteri
I feel a little better now. But tomorrow I go in for some tests on my kidneys and I'm also seeing an oncologist, so chemo is a definite option at this point. I'm not sure what's going on, which I think is causing me the most anxiety at this point. I hope I'll know more by next week. This not-knowing is the worst.

Plus, I just feel so lousy and am in a lot of pain, which isn't helping matters. If I could get that under control somewhat, I think my attitude would perk up a bit. Every day I read and/or watch something funny and also meditate and read something inspirational. I'm keeping my attitude positive. :)
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Rhiannon12866 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Dec-02-06 02:11 AM
Response to Original message
23. Jesus, I'm so sorry, my friend.
And any kind of cancer is serious and you have to treat this aggressively. I'm so glad that you have confidence in your doctor. But please keep us up to speed on this. I had very good doctors in Boston... We care about you and I sure do, Lisa. :-)

Lisa:hug:
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katmondoo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-27-08 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
24.  You will do fine
I was told that treatments and or follow ups are for the rest of my life.
Don't worry so much, be happy you have no tumors now, You will be will be OK I promise. This from Katmondoo
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JohnnyLib2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-27-08 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
25. Very best wishes for your health.

Our family learned to say "damn the cancer" and that even got included in some blessings before holiday meals. Many prayers.....
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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-28-08 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
26. Thanks for kicking this.
Just an update: I've been cancer-free for 11 months now and when I'm cleared in May I can go to an every six-month schedule for check-ups instead of every 90 days, which will be awesome.

It's weird to read this post of mine now. OMG, I was so frightened when I was first diagnosed. Now I look back and think about how a lot of little things or people used to aggravate me, you know? Now all that pretty much rolls off my back. Cancer does a pretty good job of putting things in perspective, that's for sure. :D
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pecwae Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-30-08 07:54 AM
Response to Reply #26
27. You're right about that perspective.
I also think this has given me more compassion for fellow creatures in general.

I'm also on every 6 month checkups and scans and it sure makes life easier.

:hug:
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Hawkeye-X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-30-08 11:07 PM
Response to Reply #27
28. Well, you know me - a son of a cancer survivor - it does change
one's perspective of life after all....

You gotta appreciate the little things!

Hawkeye-X
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auntAgonist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-02-08 01:21 AM
Response to Reply #26
29. I'm so happy for you and the improvement in your health.
I stop by this forum often and try to keep up with what's happening.

continued good health flamingyouth!!!!

:hug:

kesha.
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Redbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Apr-08-08 08:32 AM
Response to Reply #26
30. Im glad its gone so well.
I have my first 90 day check on 4/29.
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noiretextatique Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Apr-14-08 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #26
31. yes...it does put things in perspective
i am so glad that you are doing well. i am doing great too.
thank you for all your support, and i will be holding you in my thoughts. let's all stay healthy!
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OzarkDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-10-08 08:39 AM
Response to Reply #26
32. Wow! That's great news!
The first year after is the most stressful, but glad you're feeling more optimistic now!
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