When I come back, in my next life, I'll be a man and use my penis for evil
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:43 PM
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When I come back, in my next life, I'll be a man and use my penis for evil
and I'll rule the world and tell everyone what to do with their bodies. I'm gonna lie like a mutherfuck and make my own religion and tell people to take everything I say literally. I'm gonna hate everyone except those who believe in what I believe and I'm gonna damn everyone to a bad place if they defy me. Please keep in mind defy me not the real god. I mean who in the world would want to believe the real god when they can believe the polyester clad messenger. That is all...back to the Shiraz...Glass 5.
derby378
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:45 PM
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This is what I get for not being on DU all afternoon. What the heck happened?
ThomWV
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:45 PM
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2. It Is Impossible to Use A Penis For Evil
They are inherently good.
madeline_con
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:47 PM
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7. Some men knowingly spread aids....
Do we have to wax philosophical about whether spreading death is "evil"? :popcorn:
ThomWV
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:48 PM
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10. So, The Question is: Can an Evil man have a good penis?
madeline_con
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:49 PM
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13. He was a class-A jerk, but the sex was phenomenal! eom
xchrom
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:49 PM
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15. i know that to be true for a fact.
UncleSepp
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:50 PM
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17. Oh hell yes. Evil, twisted, but good.
The person, not the penis. A twisted penis wouldn't be such a good thing.
Humor_In_Cuneiform
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #10
18. How long have you had this obsession? n/t
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:53 PM
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29. I would say yes but I'm sure the sex wouln't be as good.
UncleSepp
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:56 PM
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31. I dunno. I've had my fill of the evilest penis you can think of..
and it was damn good :evilgrin:
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:57 PM
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33. I'm saying that an evil man with a good penis = bad sex.
UncleSepp
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:58 PM
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35. Oh no. The sex is great. Really really great.
It's the hangover afterward... why, oh why, did I do that again?
Jigarotta
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:14 PM
Response to Reply #35
44. a zuchinni could give good sex.
if you're into the mechanical thing. good sex starts in the brain, not the acoutrements.
UncleSepp
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Sat Apr-15-06 09:50 PM
Response to Reply #44
My goodness, that had really never occurred to me. Thanks for the lecture in the middle of a humor thread. I'd let you in on what's so funny about the "sex with someone evil" joke, but I don't think you'd get it.
HysteryDiagnosis
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:07 PM
Response to Reply #33
38. And she professed roundly to the police that "he really does
love me while she peered out of her one good remaining eye".....
Jigarotta
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:10 PM
Response to Reply #2
40. true, it's the Vagina's that are the evil!!
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:16 PM
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kevinbgoode
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Sat Apr-15-06 08:02 PM
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54. Well...I disagree. . .
But I had an EX who took his out shopping a lot. They are only inherently good when they are wearing little Superman tights and cape...and can bust out of their ..um...booth with cape flying dramatically behind them. . .
madeline_con
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:45 PM
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3. Why would you want to do a thing like that?
You realize you're not allowing your soul to evolve if you come back as an evil being, right? ;)
UncleSepp
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:47 PM
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9. You'd be surprised at the evolution that can happen...
... after one evil lifetime ;-) Or maybe you wouldn't! It's like handicapping in a horse race. That extra baggage just means you're that much stronger!
AlienGirl
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Sun Apr-16-06 11:36 AM
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UncleSepp
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:46 PM
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4. LOL! The dark side of the Schwartz!
Why wait? Get a detachable model and spraypaint it gold. Use it for your scepter!
BlueEyedSon
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:46 PM
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5. Why wait? Use your vagina for evil now!
I'm sorry, this was meant to be ironc/funny, but i just came out rude. :shrug:
madeline_con
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:47 PM
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xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:50 PM
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19. It didn't sound rude. Just creative. I didn't know pocketbooks could
be evil... pocketbook aka southern old lady for vagina.
Humor_In_Cuneiform
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:47 PM
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xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:48 PM
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12. I think I'm gonna start a Blog. The ramblings of the drunken blogger.
BlueEyedSon
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #12
But don't let that stop you.... Don't forget to post/PM the URL!
SmokingJacket
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:48 PM
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11. I'm drinking Shiraz this fine evening, too...
:clink: I'm going to come back as a cockroach, so I can survive the nuclear winter...
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:49 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. Make sure yto say hello to my penis!!!
muntrv
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:49 PM
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16. You're coming back as Pat Robertson?
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:51 PM
Response to Reply #16
22. He ain't got no penis. Furthermore he's molesting Christianity not
Edited on Sat Apr-15-06 06:54 PM by xultar
creating his own.
madeline_con
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:52 PM
Response to Reply #22
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. spellcheck says molesting.
madeline_con
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:57 PM
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32. Ah yes, he is definitely a molester.
He fucks people's minds. :wow:
ThomWV
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:53 PM
Response to Reply #16
28. The Master Keeper Of The Keys nt
xchrom
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:50 PM
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xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:52 PM
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24. A great wine varietal grown in Australia and other southern hemispheric
xchrom
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:14 PM
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43. oz does grow some good vines
and they do well with shiraz.
MadMaddie
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:51 PM
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23. Bwah...haw..haw...I knew it was you Xultar
you are too damn funny....I am going to have to try me some of that Shiraz..... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
SmokingJacket
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:52 PM
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25. Hey, are we about to have another drunk xultar thread?
That one from last year was toooo funny.
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:52 PM
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26. I'm nevah gonna live that down ahe?
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 06:58 PM
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34. This tread will be locked if we don't clean it iup people. Lets talk cats
MadisonProgressive
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #34
42. If you have a cat - I can provide a loving puppy!
Pass the bottle, beeotch! :toast:
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:16 PM
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45. Passing the bottle baybay
MadisonProgressive
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:17 PM
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47. That's some good shit, Madame X!
Talismom
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Sat Apr-15-06 08:15 PM
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55. I'm gonna come back as a well cared-for house cat. n/t
Kenergy
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:05 PM
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Vinnie From Indy
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:05 PM
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37. What about balls? Will your balls be evil too?
In addition to using your penis for evil, your balls will give something to scratch in the morning.
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:12 PM
Response to Reply #37
41. I love cojones. They can never be evil.
FreakinDJ
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:07 PM
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39. Laura said Bush was a Wimp in that department
Talismom
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Sat Apr-15-06 08:16 PM
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56. Well that's pretty obvious to all of us...didn't need her to tell us...n/t
Jazz2006
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:19 PM
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48. Hee hee - must be excellent Shiraz at that :)
:toast: Thanks for the laughs ~ ~ ~ ~
Freedom_from_Chains
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:36 PM
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49. My wife really likes it when I use mine for evil.
xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:50 PM
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52. I bet she does. IF she decides to rent you out PM me.
stellanoir
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:43 PM
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xultar
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:49 PM
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51. Then hook me up with ole boy! You know who I'm talkin about.
OPERATIONMINDCRIME
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Sat Apr-15-06 07:56 PM
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53. You Can Do That Now If You Want, Since It Has NADA To Do With Being A Man
or having a penis. So why wait? Since it has nothing to do with gender or genitalia, if you want to do those things so much go for it! There's nothing in THIS life stopping you from doing it already.
CatWoman
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Sat Apr-15-06 08:33 PM
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57. I really love evil penises
:D much more fun than the righteous ones :D
ContraBass Black
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Sat Apr-15-06 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #57
60. That's not good news for me.
I have a very righteous penis.
xultar
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Sun Apr-16-06 11:45 AM
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spacelady
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Sat Apr-15-06 09:56 PM
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59. Penis, penis, penis, penis, PENIS!!!!
xultar
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Sun Apr-16-06 11:43 AM
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Chomp
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Sun Apr-16-06 11:42 AM
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use my penis for evil every Saturday night. But, you know, good evil.
Fenris
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Sun Apr-16-06 12:20 PM
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Do not post "flame bait" discussion topics.
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