Do you know anyone who has had an abortion?

[Samurai_Writer]

Continuing from the other abortion poll, I'd like to know how many of us know someone who has had an abortion. When taking this poll, choose the selection that is closest in relation to yourself. For example, if your sister and your friend have both had abortions, choose your sister. If you have had an abortion, choose yourself.

[DarkTirade]

1. I hang out with all kindsa liberal hippy type people...

and it's funny, because despite the fact that just about all of them have had sex before marriage, NONE of them have used abortion as 'birth control' like some of the whackos accuse people of doing.

[baldguy]

4. Liberals are generally more responsible people.

[DarkTirade]

5. And they're not afraid of letting their kids know about birth control

[wicket]

7. TOO true!

:thumbsup:

[Jon8503]

50. I think it is because they are generaly more intelligent, they also are

really more responsible people than the RW so called christians.

[ThomWV]

2. I Paid For A Friend's Abortion Years Ago

I had nothing at all to do with it other than that the young lady was a good friend, in serious trouble, and didn't have a dime - nor parents(who didn't have jack shit either) that would be much please by the news that she needed one in the worst of ways. I had some money at the time so I paid for it. She is doing well to this day, with 5 kids and an asshole husband behind her. Still a very good friend.

[populistdriven]

48. I did the same once.

[Hobarticus]

3. I'd be interested to see a nationwide poll like this...

I imagine the results may be surprising.

[southernleftylady]

6. I have and my sister has had one too nt

[Dem Agog]

8. Last option...

I don't know but then again, I don't presume that all the people I know have told me everything about their lives. :)

[HockeyMom]

9. My aunt back in the 1940s when it was illegal

She had a "so called therapeutic" abortion. She was 45 years old and a married grandmother. My Aunt and Uncle did not want to have a child younger than their grandson. She paid her long term OB/GYN a very large sum of money to say she had a serious heart condition which carrying a pregnancy to term would jeopardize her life. She never kept it a secret from anyone in the family. To her dying day, I also never heard her express any regrets over it either.

Money talked and always will.

[bunkerbuster1]

10. Ex-girlfriend. It was the right thing for her to do.

No, I had not impregnated her, it was her new boyfriend, but she told me about it.

She was 18, single, and not anywhere near ready to assume that responsibility.

[KansDem]

18. My ex-girlfriend as well...

And "no" I was not responsible either.

After we had gone awhile, she confided in me that she had had an abortion. It took her quite awhile to tell me. It had happened a few years earlier. I could sense it was an extremely difficult decision to make and she was still saddened by it.

As I recall, when she told her boyfriend, he said something like "Well, take care of "it" (meaning, "end the pregnancy"). The boyfriend's cavalier attitude was enough to upset her, but what really hurt her was his refusal to go with her to have it done. She really wanted him to be with her that day.

Anyway, with this revelation I felt our relationship had reached a new point of complete trust and commitment.

And she was from a conservative Republican family from N.W. Kansas and a registered Republican. I haven't seen her for 25 years but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

[nickshepDEM]

11. I know at least 5 people who have has an abortion...

None of which came from an abusive family, a poor household, etc...

Its sad really.

[Iris]

12. Um, how about an all of the above?

[July]

33. Or combinations of them.

I could only vote in one category, though in fact I could say yes to three of them. I think there could be other categories, as well (e.g., do you know men whose significant others have had abortions).

[Iris]

43. Yes. And it kind of drives home the fact that we all know someone who's

had an abortion - even if she hasn't told us.

[raccoon]

13. Two people that I know of. One woman, who had an abortion in

the early 80s, was taking the pill and had one ovary left and she STILL got pregnant.

The other was a therapeutic abortion. I don't know what the medical reason for doing it was, but it's fortunate this woman didn't raise a child. She was batshit crazy.

[MooPie]

14. Yes, I had an abortion.

I had an illegal one in 1969 through the Jane fund operating out of Chicago. In fact, next Thursday I am being filmed in a documentary about what women had to go through back then. The intent is to show the direction in which this country is heading and what we will have to face when it becomes unavailable to most women.

[July]

34. Wow, thanks for keeping that information out there.

People need to hear about it.

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

53. Brava, darlin'!

:yourock:

MMToo many folks today have no clue what it used to be like "back in the day"...

MMI've "hand-held" three "sisters" over the years, financed one, plus another who had a sister to go with her, but needed the $$$ (father wouldn't... mother couldn't...)

MMI think those women of my generation (I'll be 57 in June) who care about women's rights, are obliged (I HATE to use this phraseology, so redolent of "guilt-tripping", but in this case...) to "tell it like it was" to the younger generations of women who have taken abortion somewhat for granted...

MMAnd yes, I know: I'm a man, what the hell business is it of mine? How DARE I have, let alone express, an opinion on such a sensitive issue?

]I DARE because of the fact that I am a) the son of a woman, b) the father of THREE women, c) the brother (birth) of a woman, d) the brother (spirit) of several women, e) a matrist, matriarchist AND gynophile and f) a human being who doesn't let trivialities such as gender blind me to human suffering and injustice.

MMAny questions? Feel free to PM me, please!

[Autumn Colors]

15. raises hand

Yes. Myself and two members of my family. I will ALWAYS fight for reproductive choice.

[Samurai_Writer]

16. Since I made the poll, I should tell my story

I have had three abortions. The first one was when I was 19. I had just surrendered a child for adoption when I was 17, and was completely messed up in the head about it. When I found myself pregnant (while on the pill), I decided I could not go through the grief and heartache of surrendering another child for adoption, so had a first trimester abortion.

My second abortion when I was 24. Again, my birth control failed (diaphram). However, I had decided to keep the baby, because I was better able to financially, mentally, and emotionally. But at 20 weeks, the fetus died in utero, and I had to have a 2nd trimester abortion. The absolutely worse thing I've had to do, besides surrender my first son for adoption.

My third abortion was when I was 34. Again, birth control failed (a different version of the pill from the first time). When I was 30, I was in a very serious car accident that left me partially disabled. My doctors told me I had a very good chance of being paralyzed if I went through with the pregnancy. I had another son by this time to take care of as a single parent, so I decided to have an abortion (1st trimester).

I have also had three miscarriages. I finally found a doctor who would tie my tubes, as I had gotten pregnant on every type of birth control there is (even Norplant!). I had to wait until I was 40 until one would do it, though, even though I had begged since I was in my 20s to get it done. It would have saved me a lot of grief.

[MooPie]

20. When was that?

I mean for getting your tubes tied. At the age of 30 (1980) I had the good fortune to have a gynecologist who respected my opinion enough to tie my tubes even though I had elected to remain childless. I wonder if it's still that difficult.

[Samurai_Writer]

31. I turned 40 five years ago

So it wasn't that long ago. It is still that difficult, from what I've heard from others.

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

54. Sister...

:hug:

[Lumily]

17. My mother has had two abortions.

They were both within 18 months of each other, back in the mid 90s. Her new husband didn't/doesn't like to use birth control, but he doesn't want any more kids either. Goodness knows she doesn't need to have any more kids, because she's a horrible mother.

I think she eventually had her tubes tied. I don't know.

They are both staunch * supporters. I don't have much to do with them for more than just political reasons.

[Blue Belle]

25. He should get a vasectomy...

if he doesn't want kids or use birth control...talk about irresponsible. Oh wait... it's probably the woman's fault for wanting sex... right?

[tjdee]

19. You'd never know, because no one broadcasts that information.

When I got pregnant, three or four women I know very well came and told me they'd had abortions. Had I not gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have known about any of them except one. And none of these women were teenagers/"slept around"/whatever. They were all reasonably responsible and intelligent.

So I think these poll numbers may be misleading. Even those who don't know anyone who's had an abortion in fact, may.

[ellenfl]

21. all of the above (except the last 2)?

me - 2x, 18 years apart so i don't think that makes it 'birth control', per se. my first was in nyc in 1971 and the women there for the procedure ranged in age from 16 to 40. ny at the time was the only place to get a legal abortion. btw, my mother helped me by sending me there AND scraping up enough money to get me there and pay for the procedure. my father kept a VERY tight squeeze on the purse strings so it was not an easy thing for her to do (he didn't find out until my sister spilled the beans years later, altho' looking back on it, i doubt he would have objected). she went to the clinic with me the second time. thanks, mom. (and thanks for the poll . . . it has reminded me of my mother's love and support.)

sister - 2x

grandmother - in the VERY old days (1920s or 30s). she had to go to england for it.

co-worker's daughter

niece

sister-in-law

those are the ones i know about. people that have never been in this desperate situation vote against abortion . . . just like people who have never served in the military are gung-ho for war.

ellen fl

[LibDemAlways]

22. I have a friend whose mom took her to

Mexico for an abortion back in the 60's. She was 15. It was an awful ordeal under very grimy conditions.

[catmother]

23. my sister had 3. 2 were when she was in college. 1 right after

that. when she got married and tried to get pregnant it took a little while. she now has 2 beautiful grown daughters. she had herself "fixed" when the second one was very young.

my friend had one. she had an IUD and was getting her period. she was gaining weight, but had a tendency to put on weight. went to the doc and was shocked to find out she was pregnant. our gynecologist (we had the same doc) performed the abortion in the hospital and i came to take her home. i stayed with her until her boyfriend got there. she really wanted this child, but the boyfriend was married with kids and had another girlfriend with kids.

she finally got rid of the asshole boyfriend when she met a nice guy. got married and had 2 children.

i got pregnant in 1960. we got married -- that was what you did back then. i would not have had an abortion back then. i was 18 and catholic. our marriage lasted 6 years. i really didn't want more children. we were careful.

in 1970 i met my second husband. he had a child from his first marriage and we decided we did not want to have children together. if for some reason i would have gotten pregnant there is no doubt in my mind that i would have had an abortion. i was no longer catholic and much more mature.

i heard the stories of what women did before abortion was legal. both of my sisters-in-law from my first husband had illegal ones. one sister in law had hers performed on her kitchen table. later she was in bed and having pain. my mother in law was with her. she passed another fetus. it was twins.

i also had an aunt who douched with amonia. she did not miscarry and fortunately the child was born without any defects.

i also heard many stories from my ex-husbands aunts who said that a midwife would come and put something inside the woman. she would then tell her to stay on her feet -- iron clothes, etc. and then she would miscarry. the funny story was that my husband was 16 years younger than his older brother and his aunt told me that the only reason he was born was because the midwife was in jail at the time.

[Iris]

28. omg - performed on her kitchen table; douched with amonia

are we really going back there?

[catmother]

29. that's what i'm afraid of. some young people have always had

access to abortion. they can't believe that this right might be taken away. when a woman does not want a child she will take drastic steps even if it means losing her own life.:cry:

[ulysses]

24. ex-girlfriend in college

I wasn't the father. I also drove another friend to the clinic the year before.

[nonconformist]

26. My sister and some friends have. nt

[Nikia]

27. I don't know of anyone who had an abortion

I grew up in a fairly conservative part of Ohio, especially on this issue, where no one would admit to such a thing. The cases where I heard about someone thinking about it indirectly was when they didn't actually do it.
When I was in college, no one talked about having an abortion either. I don't know if it is because they didn't or they were afraid to talk about it there too. They did talk openly about using birth control, including emergency contraception though.
Where I am now, in my part of Wisconsin, I doubt anyone here would talk about it here either.

[allalone]

30. I try to stay out of others women's wombs,thank you

[July]

36. ????

Many women share their situations and/or seek help from other women (friends, mothers, sisters). Those other women aren't trying to get into "other women's wombs."

[OmmmSweetOmmm]

32. Both my mother and sister have had abortions. My mom, when

it was illegal back in the 40s. Not too long after my sister was born, my mom discovered she was pregnant again. Luckily they had the means to find a very prominent OBGYN who did perform them. A couple of years later she very happily became pregnant with my brother, and 8 years later with me.

My sister had a couple. She was in her 40s and could not foresee having any more children.

I myself, never had to have one. For years I was very careful about birth control, only to find out when trying to have children, that I had been infertile for years. After having surgery and follow-up medication, I later gave birth to two wonderful children. The point is, that while my ex-husband and I were struggling through the infertility issues, there was a church across the street from my office building (the Chrysler Building in NYC)and I used to confront anti-choicers who approached me about what they were doing. Most of them were men. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[uppityperson]

35. Known lots

counseled many, helped with many. Peace to everyone and choice remains necessary.

[July]

37. Off the top of my head I know of 7.

I'm sure there are others among my family and acquaintance, but I have personal knowledge of these.

[SmokingJacket]

38. My family is very private, and probably wouldn't tell me.

I do know one relative had an illegal one back in the preRoe days, which destroyed her fertility.

Also, a number of friends.

[Samurai_Writer]

39. Kick for the evening crowd NT

[Qanisqineq]

40. Two of the above

I've had 2 abortions, I know two acquaintances that have had abortions.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

41. Yes, I have had several friends.

I was faced with the choice when I was 19, I had my child. It was in the "best" of circumstances for a young woman. I was with a man several years older who loved me, wanted to marry me, and I (along with my religious indoctrination in Catholic schools) felt I was doing the right thing. We had more children.

It took me years to wake up and realize that a man close to 30 who is bedding a 19 year old is a (generally speaking of course, individuals may vary, enough said there) control freak in regard to relationships. It was a long haul getting out of it.

Years ago, I remember being very sanctimonious (though still pro-choice) about the subject until I really grew up unfortunately. Life is not simple and these choices (and having these choices) alter our lives as women. If I were to get pregnant now, I simply could not continue with the pregnancy. I know that and I'm careful, but it scares me there are those who don't think I should have the choice. Men who know nothing about who I am far, far away who with the strike of a pen, could take my choice away.

[savemefromdumbya]

42. Plenty

[Solly Mack]

44. I fall into more than 1 category

though I voted in the mother/sister/daughter

mother.sister.aunt.neice.friends

[redwitch]

45. I never had to make the choice but know countless friends who did.

n/t

[0007]

46. Not counting my wife, my mother, my sister or my brother's

children, I'd say I know above a hundred and fifty women that have had a abortions. They all love Jesus and are well adjusted with no second thoughts.

[populistdriven]

47. This is what happened to my wife's best friend:

She was the typical woman who wants to have her baby. She even had her babies name picked out. Like most, she goes through all the hopes and dreams and nesting activities that expectant mothers do UNTIL she goes for a repeat visit to her doctors office and is horrified and distraught to hear her doctor tell her the pregnancy is so messed up that she has to abort because the kid wont live 2 seconds after being born because the baby is already brain-dead and her pregnancy will most likely end in miscarraige and that complications could kill her later in the pregnancy.

She has to go the abortion clinic by herself because she couldn't bear to even talk about her situation with anyone, racked with guilt and fear she gets there and is assaulted by anti-abortion freaks with huge signs showing horrible bloody pictures of the ordeal she is about to go through, gets inside after being pelted with debris and shouted with insults like 'baby killer'.

She gets injected with the doses of drugs that will help her abort the horribly mutated foetus from her body, undergoes horrible cramps and after what seemed like hours of pain she is exhausted has to quickly go into the bathroom and as she sits on the toilet finally expells the baby that she wanted to love, that she still loves all over herself and the floor, doesnt know if she should pick it up and hug it to say goodbye or what, then has to get up, clean herself off and go out the door and get assaulted and called a baby killer again by the right to lifers.

I see her every week and she has recovered but she cannot get involved in the politics of it because she can't stand listening to a single wing-nut for 5 seconds.

She has only told her story to me once and I immediately signed up and the local planned parenthood to provide escorts if needed.

[hyphenate]

49. My sister in law had an abortion

right before she and my brother got married. They had no money, no permanent place to live, no plans, nothing. It was decided to wait a few years before they started a family. She says at the time it was the right decision, though now she believes it would have been the daughter she never had. (Two sons only)

[blondeatlast]

51. Medically necessary, and the thought of what it would soon require

for me to have had it terrifies me.

I now am the proud mother of a wonderful son.

[bleedingheart]

52. I took one of my friends to a family planning clinic after her abortion

you see she had a boyfriend that had impregnated her two years previously. He drove her to Ohio for the abortion and then dumped her.

So when I met her she was just starting to date another fellow ...and once again....this twit convinced her that the withdrawal method was just grand...

I took her to family planning and she went on the pill after a nice dicussion with the doctor.

Now I grew up in a strict household but the one topic my mother was very open about was sex and birth control.