God is gonna open his wallet for me!

[Neecy]

I just received the most appalling fund raising letter from a church in Oklahoma (I have NO idea how I got on their list - it's only addressed to 'dear friend').

They enclosed something they call a Jesus Prayer Rug which is actually a printed piece of paper with Jesus and fringe. Apparently all I have to do is sleep with it and I'll be rich, rich, rich! Here are the instructions:

"The next 24 hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God. After you kneel on this prayer rug, or place it over your knees, place it in a Bible, on Philippians 4:19 (if you don't have a bible, it's okay - just slide it under your side of your bed for tonight, if you can. If you can't do this it is okay). (my note: timing may be important to God, but he sure is sloppy when it comes to what you do with this frikkin' thing!). Leave it there no longer than tonight only! God sees. Then, in the morning it is a must that you get this unusual blessing prayer rug out of the house and back to us, here are the church's prayer room, in faith. We also must have this letter back, with whatever you need prayer for printed on page two. You must get this prayer rug back to us so we can rush it to a family in need of a blessing. Do it without fail. Please, do not break this flow of power between us."

Of course, when I return my cheap PRINTED PIECE OF PAPER they call a 'prayer rug' it's returned with a contribution envelope to these hucksters.

What do they suggest you pray for? Well, there's a brochure enclosed with 'success stories' and they all deal with a big cash windfall! God has a wallet!

"Pennsylvania - God blessed me with over 5,000.00"

"Texas - Our Lord has blessed us with a big 6 room house" (laughing hysterically here)

"North Carolina - Received $10,000.00 in a financial blessing"

Delaware - God made it possible for us to buy 17 acres of land"

Texas - I've gotten a new car - I've been blessed!"

I'm going to return my 'prayer rug' asking God to impeach George Bush and keep money-changing zealots out of my fucking mailbox!

How in the world do people fall for this shit??

[Nitrogenica]

1. What's the name of the church?

[Neecy]

3. let's see...

Wow, even touching it creeps me out.

It's from Saint Matthew's Churches (plural - interesting) in Tulsa.

[karlrschneider]

2. Sounds an awful lot like that bastard Robert Tilton...

:eyes:

[Warpy]

5. Tilton is the "farting preacher."

For that 5 minutes of hilarity, I will forgive him a lot.

On edit, for the 3 people on this board who haven't seen it: http://gorillamask.net/fartingpreacher.shtml

[Ksec]

4. Jes say yer prairs

and ya'll have tons o money comin yer way.

Ive heard that one before. Just donate tons of money to me and Ill get rich off of suckers who donate money to me.

[thatgemguy]

6. I got one of those

and returned it after filling in my cat's name (Benny Katt). Benny got quite a few additional mailings from that church. To think of it, it was about this time of year too. Benny's on quite a few mailing lists.

Wait till you get the paper sandal.... what a hoot!

We had another Siamese cat "Mousie Tongue" who we put on mailing lists when she was a kitten in the early 90's. "Missy" is now geting prom gown catalogs, offers for help with college scholarships, beauty pageant applications, and recruitment info from the Army and the National Guard.

It's scary how we are all tracked these days.

[Blue Diadem]

7. here is much much more on Saint Matthew's churches

http://www.trinityfi.org/press/tulsaworld01.html

Special Report: Reaping from faith

Ole Anthony, the founder of the Trinity Foundation, a non-profit religious watchdog group, sits among posters displaying mailings by the Rev. James Eugene Ewing and his organization, now called Saint Matthew's Churches. Anthony's group has tracked Ewing's organization for years.

snip:

Ole Anthony, founder of the Trinity Foundation, a nonprofit religious watchdog group, has tracked Ewing's organization for years. The foundation was largely responsible for exposing televangelist Robert Tilton in 1991 after Antho ny said he found prayer requests sent to Tilton in Tulsa trash Dumpsters.

At the time, Tilton and Ewing shared the same Tulsa attorney, J.C. Joyce. Saint Matthew's Churches is incorporated at Joyce's downtown Tulsa law office and the organization paid Joyce's law firm more than $2.6 million for legal services during three years, records show.

Anthony has also obtained documents that describe how Ewing and his organization use demographic data to target the poor.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Lengthy but very informative. Looks like this guy sells packages to the televangelists. I wish I had this information when my Mom was alive and sent them her money.

[Neecy]

8. thanks for the info...

I read it through, and how repulsive this operation is!

Imagine using a post office box as a tax-exempt 'church' to milk people out of their money. No shame, none whatsover...