Ferengi Rules of Acquisition -
The Rules of Acquisition
Rule 1: Once you have their money, you never give it back.
Rule 2: You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
Rule 3: Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Rule 4: Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
Rule 5: If you can't break a contract, bend it.
Rule 6: Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Rule 7: Keep your ears open.
Rule 8: Keep count of your change.
Rule 9: Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Rule 10: A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
Rule 11: Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
Rule 12: Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
Rule 13:
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
Rule 14: Anything stolen is pure profit.
Rule 15: Acting stupid is often smart.
Rule 16: A deal is a deal (...until a better one comes along).
Rule 17: A contract, is a contract, is a contract... but only between Ferengi.
Rule 18: A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Rule 18: Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
Rule 19: Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
Rule 20: There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule 21: Never place friendship before profit.
Rule 22: A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Rule 23: Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
Rule 24: Never ask when you can take.
Rule 25: Fear makes a good business partner.
Rule 26: The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it.
Rule 27: The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.
Rule 27: There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
Rule 28: Morality is always defined by those in power.
Rule 29: When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying.
Rule 30: Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
Rule 31: Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.... insult something he cares about instead.
Rule 32: Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
Rule 33: It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Rule 34: Compassion is no substitute for profit.
Rule 34: War is good for business.
Rule 35: Peace is good for business.
Rule 35: You could afford your ship without your government--if it weren't for your government.
Rule 36: Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
Rule 37: You can always buy back a lost reputation.
Rule 38: Free advertising is cheap.
Rule 39: Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers.
Rule 40: She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
Rule 41: Profit is its own reward.
Rule 42: Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
Rule 43: Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
Rule 44: Never argue with a loaded phaser.
Rule 45: Profit has limits. Loss has none.
Rule 46: Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person.
Rule 47: Don't trust a man wearing a suit better than your own.
Rule 48: The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Rule 49: Old age and wisdom will always overcome youth and talent
Rule 50: Never bluff a Klingon.
Rule 51: Never admit a mistake if they're someone else to blame.
Rule 52: Never ask when you can take.
Rule 52: Only Bugsy could have built Las Vegas.
Rule 53: Sell first; ask questions later.
Rule 54: Never buy anything you can't sell.
Rule 55: Always sell at the highest possible profit.
Rule 56: Pursue profit; women come later.
Rule 57: Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
Rule 58: Friendship is seldom cheap.
Rule 59: Free advice is seldom cheap.
Rule 60: Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 60: Never use credit where your words will do.
Rule 62: The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
Rule 63: Power without profit is like a ship without an engine.
Rule 64: Don't talk shop; talk shopping.
Rule 65: Don't talk ship; talk shipping.
Rule 66: Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it.
Rule 67: Anyone asking to be relieved is not crazy and must be forced to serve.
Rule 68: War is good for business.
Rule 69: Peace is good for business.
Rule 70: Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
Rule 71: Greed is eternal.
Rule 72: Small print leads to large risk.
Rule 73: Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
Rule 74: Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Rule 75: Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
Rule 76: Every once in a while, declare peace; it confuses the hell out of your enemy.
Rule 77: A bargain usually isn't.
Rule 79: There is no substitute for success.
Rule 81: Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
Rule 82: The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Rule 85: Never let the competition know what you're thinking
Rule 86: Don't lie too soon after a promotion.
Rule 87: When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
Rule 88: A friend in need is a customer in the making.
Rule 89: Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits.
Rule 94: Females and finances don't mix.
Rule 97: Enough ... is never enough.
Rule 99: Trust is the biggest liability of all.
Rule 100: Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer.
Rule 101: Never do something you can make someone do for you.
Rule 103: Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
Rule 104: Faith moves mountains of inventory.
Rule 104: Money is never made. It is merely won or lost.
Rule 105: Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
Rule 106: There is no honor in poverty
Rule 107: A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
Rule 108: Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
Rule 109: Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
Rule 110: Never sleep with the boss' wife unless you pay him first.
Rule 111: Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them.
Rule 112: Never have sex with the boss's sister.
Rule 113: Always have sex with the boss.
Rule 114: Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff.
Rule 116: Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
Rule 117: You can't free a fish from water
Rule 118: Keep your lies consistent.
Rule 119: Buy, sell, or get out of the way.
Rule 121: Everything is for sale, including friendship.
Rule 122: Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum
Rule 123: A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer.
Rule 138: Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder.
Rule 139: Wives serve, brothers inherit.
Rule 141: Only fools pay retail.
Rule 144: There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
Rule 148: Opportunity waits for no one.
Rule 153: Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
Rule 162: Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
Rule 163: Rules are always subject to interpretation.
Rule 164: Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's.
Rule 172: If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.
Rule 177: Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
Rule 180: Never offer a confession when a bribe will do.
Rule 181: Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
Rule 188: Never bet on a race you haven't fixed.
Rule 189: Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing.
Rule 190: Hear all; trust nothing.
Rule 192: Never cheat a Klingon unless you're sure you can get away with it
Rule 194: It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
Rule 202: The justification for profit is profit.
Rule 203: New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
Rule 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.
Rule 211:
Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success
-- don't hesitate to step on them.
Rule 214: Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
Rule 215: Instinct without opportunity is useless.
Rule 216: Never gamble with an empath.
Rule 217: You can't free a fish from water.
Rule 218: Always know what you're buying.
Rule 219: Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
Rule 221: Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes.
Rule 222: Knowledge is power.
Rule 223: Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
Rule 229: Latinum lasts longer than lust.
Rule 236: You can't buy fate.
Rule 239: Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Rule 242: More is good...all is better.
Rule 255: A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant is a necessity.
Rule 261: A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
Rule 263: Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
Rule 266: When in doubt, lie.
Rule 281: Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell.
Rule 282: Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner.
Rule 283: Rules are always subject to change.
Rule 284: Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
Rule 285: No good deed ever goes unpunished.