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Bush Finds Error In Fermilab Calculations

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Aviation Pro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:06 PM
Original message
Bush Finds Error In Fermilab Calculations
BATAVIA, IL–President Bush met with members of the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory research team Monday to discuss a mathematical error he recently discovered in the famed laboratory's "Improved Determination Of Tau Lepton Paths From Inclusive Semileptonic B-Meson Decays" report.

Bush shows Fermilab scientists where they went wrong in their calculations.
"I'm somewhat out of my depth here," said Bush, a longtime Fermilab follower who describes himself as "something of an armchair physicist." "But it seems to me that, when reducing the perturbative uncertainty in the determination of Vub from semileptonic Beta decays, one must calculate the rate of Beta events with a standard dilepton invariant mass at a subleading order in the hybrid expansion. The Fermilab folks' error, as I see it, was omitting that easily overlooked mathematical transformation and, therefore, acquiring incorrectly re-summed logarithmic corrections for the b-quark mass. Obviously, such a miscalculation will result in a precision of less than 25 percent in predicting the resulting path of the tau lepton once the value for any given decaying tau neutrino is determined."

The Bush correction makes it possible for scientists to further study the tau lepton, a subatomic particle formed by the collision of a tau neutrino and an atomic nucleus.

Bush resisted criticizing the Fermilab scientists responsible for the error, saying it was "actually quite small" and that "anyone could have made the mistake."

"High-energy physics is a complex and demanding field, and even top scientists drop a decimal point or two every now and then," Bush said. "Also, I might hasten to add that what I pointed out was more a correction of method than of mathematics. Experimental results on the Tevatron accelerator would have exposed the error in time, anyway."

Fermilab director Michael Witherell said the president was being too modest "by an order of magnitude."

Bush circles the crucial misstep.
"In addition to gently reminding us that even the best minds in the country are occasionally fallible, President Bush has saved his nation a few million dollars," Witherell said. "We would have made four or five runs on the particle accelerator with faulty data before figuring out what was wrong. But, thanks to Mr. Bush, we're back on track."

"It's true, I dabbled in the higher maths during my Yale days," said Bush, who spent three semesters as an assistant to Drs. Kasha and Slaughter at Yale's renowned Sloane High-Energy Physics Lab. "But I didn't have the true gift for what Gauss called 'the musical language in which is spoken the very universe.' If I have any gift at all, it's my instinct for process and order."

Continued Bush: "As much as I enjoyed studying physics at Yale, by my junior year it became apparent that I could far better serve humanity through a career in statecraft."

While he says he is "flattered and honored" by the tau-neutrino research team's request that he review all subsequent Fermilab publications on lepton-path determination, Bush graciously declined the "signal honor."

"This sort of thing is best left to the likes of Becher and Neubert, not a dilettante such as myself," Bush said. "I just happened to have some time on the plane coming back from the European G8 summit, decided to catch up on some reading, and spotted one rather small logarithmic branching-ratio misstep in an otherwise flawless piece of scientific scholarship. Anyone could have done the same."
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Aviation Pro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. eom
....
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Aviation Pro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. new message...
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ReadTomPaine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #2
19. Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31077

Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush delighted an intimate gathering of White House dinner guests Monday, regaling the coterie of dignitaries, artists, and friends with a spirited, off-the-cuff discussion of the Roman poet Virgil's lesser-known works.

...

"It had been too long since I'd heard one of W.'s anecdotes, so I simply got on a plane," Camps said. "I showed up at his doorstep with a watercolor by Ignat Bednarik, whom I know he adores, just to make sure he'd let me in."

...

"Most primarily associate Publius Vergilius Maro with The Aeneid," Bush told guests. "Yet so much pleasure is to be found in his lesser-known works—The Eclogues, completed in 37 B.C., and The Georgics, in 30 B.C., both of which praise the idyllic rural life."

...

Despite urging from dinner guests to continue his Bucolics recitation, Bush declined.


:)
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Shadder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
3. WTF?
Onion, right?
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Aviation Pro Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:08 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. maybe...
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BrklynLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:09 PM
Response to Original message
5. bwaahaahaa......
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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JeffR Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
6. Aviation Pro, while the results won't be official until next Friday
you've just garnered you first DUzy award.
:spray:

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JeffR Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jan-16-07 02:10 PM
Response to Reply #6
22. oops
didn't realize this was from The Onion.
:banghead:

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originalpckelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:10 PM
Response to Original message
7. They errorficated.
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CrazyOrangeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. The only "accelerator" that silly phuck knows about . . .
. . . is on an F-150.

:dunce:
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bobthedrummer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
9. The Decider also collects solitons as a hobby. eom
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:15 PM
Response to Original message
10. Love the Onion and this has to BE an Onon article
I would be shocked if Bush could do simple arithmetic, let alone advanced physics
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Nite Owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
11. "It's true, I dabbled in the higher maths during my Yale days,"
said Bush.

Think he really meant was high while in math class?
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CrazyOrangeCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:28 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. I was high in Geometry once.
Not fun.
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JoMama49 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. No, he just made a small vowel error -- he really meant he
dabbled in the higher "meths" during his Yale days!
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Nite Owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-14-07 12:46 AM
Response to Reply #15
21. Ah yes! that could be it alright! n/t
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karlrschneider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:16 PM
Response to Original message
12. Oh, I'm sure he knows all about leptons and hardons
(sic)

:D
:rofl:
:evilgrin:
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undeterred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:18 PM
Response to Original message
13. Sounds fellatious to me.
:evilgrin:
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IDemo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:49 PM
Response to Original message
16. He should be given credit for his work in moran excitation
And of course, his use of spin
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EstimatedProphet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 10:52 PM
Response to Original message
17. See, we tole you lieberals Our Presidunt waz smarts an all!
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DavidDvorkin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 11:13 PM
Response to Original message
18. It is indeed from the Onion
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WiseButAngrySara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jan-13-07 11:28 PM
Response to Original message
20. LOL! Source? Must be The Onion. Very good. ....n/t
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