Bipartisan Declaration: War is on with Iran (Unconfirmed Sources)

[BurtWorm]

;-)

http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=2112

Washington, DC (APE) - With a strong show of bi-partisan support from Joe Lieberman and the Connecticut for Lieberman party, President Bush early this morning announced that a de-facto state of war now exists between Iran and the Iraqi coalition forces. An Iranian consulate in the northern Iraqi town of Irbil was raided by US forces at approximately 3AM local time practically as the president was outlining his "New Way Forward" in Iraq to the American People in a nationally televised address. Iranian personnel as well as computers and papers have been reportedly seized, but the Pentagon and the White House refused further comment on the incident, citing national security concerns.

"If any mistakes are made from this point on, they won't be my fault." Bush insisted.

Bush and Lieberman went on to emphasize the importance of the planned deployment of the patriot antimissile system to address the threat from Iran's R-27 and Shaab missile systems. The battle tested and hardened patriot system was credited in 2003 with the downing of a US Navy pilot.

Depending upon an investigation of the seized paperwork and computers, Bush went on to state that the next likely series of events would include strategic nuclear strikes launched from US aircraft carrier assets in the Persian Gulf, which would be designed to wipe out Iran's controversial nuclear enrichment facilities.

"We certainly hope this answers the criticisms from fatalistic defeatists who would claim that a surge of 21,000 troops is not enough," stated Lieberman. "We have essentially 'doubled down' with the very future of our country at stake." Lieberman then turned to Bush and gave him a kiss and a hug in a decidedly emotional display.

[JeffR]

1. In one sense, this is hilarious

In another sense, not so much.:scared:

[BurtWorm]

2. True and true.

For instance, US forces really did raid the Iranian embassy in Irbil this morning.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6251167.stm

[JeffR]

5. The real news and parodies of it will eventually become identical

if they haven't already.

[seemslikeadream]

3. new game plan that will most probably lead to U.S. air strikes

http://www.upi.com/InternationalIntelligence/view.php?StoryID=20070102-125318-7565r

Anticipating the new line, Sen. Joe Lieberman (Independent-CT) referred to "Iran and al-Qaida" on Wolf Blitzer's Sunday program on CNN. That Iran is Shiite and al-Qaida Sunni becomes irrelevant in the new game plan that will most probably lead to U.S. air strikes against Iran's nuclear facilities in 2007/08. Can a Democratic Congress be bypassed under a blanket authorization already secured to hunt down transnational terrorists wherever they may be hiding?

[Selatius]

4. Is this a summer blockbuster hollywood movie?

Y'know, those 150,000,000-dollar movies with those big-ass explosions and big-ass weapons and big-ass armies with body counts up the wazoo?

[RaleighNCDUer]

6. could be

but I reckon we'll be paying a good deal more than $10 apiece for it.