Barney reports from the White House--Bush consults with Congress before last night's speech

[bklyncowgirl]

This is Barney, the White House Dog reporting from under the desk in the Oval Office.

Look, I know what you're thinking, he's Bush's dog but just between you and me, I can't stand that Son of a Bush. Making it sound like I support his stupid war. Well a dog can't choose his owners but we do have ways of getting even.

The other day Karl Rove lost his cell phone. It's pretty cool. Does video and voice recording and it's so easy you can work it with your nose. I deleted all those pictures of naked men in army uniforms and now I'm ready to rumble. Here come the Congressional leaders now.

Secret Service Agent: Mr. President, the Speaker of the House, the Senate Majority Leader and the House and Senate Minority Leaders.

Bush: Just a minute, I'm working on my cool, determined stare.

Reid: Mr. President. I think...

Bush: Waddya think, Pruneface Red tie or Blue.

Reid: Mr. President I believe that your policy of escalating the war is doomed to failure. We have to start redeploying...."

Bush: (sternly) RED TIE OR BLUE.

Reid: Blue sir.

Bush: I'll wear red.

Boehner: Red is an excellent choice, sir, it makes you look strong and determined.

Bush: (dangerously) Does that mean I wouldn't look strong and determined in blue?

Boehner: (nervously) Of course not, Sir, you're the DECIDER, whatever you wear you will look stub... er I mean stupendous.

Bush: Heh heh, thanks there Brownnoser. You had me going there for a minute.

Boehner: Thank YOU Sir.

Bush: Thank you Gentlemen, gotta run.

Pelosi: Mr. President

Bush: Sorry there, Teacher Lady, didn't see ya. Like that thing you did banning smoking in the Speaker's Lounge. Got old Brownnoser's panties in a twist. Heh Heh.

Pelosi: Mr. President. I strongly urge you to start talking to Iran and Syria....

Bush: Right, we'll talk to 'em. Heh Heh.

Pelosi: SIR...

Bush: Gotta go. Condi's waitin' for me in the gym.

This is Barney the White House Dog signing off from the Oval Office. Now how can I get Keith Olbermann's e-mail address.

[Cobalt-60]

1. If Chimpy doesn't feed him to the Chinese

We'll grant him the canine medal of freedom for this.

[bklyncowgirl]

2. Barney is a true patriot. nt

[opihimoimoi]

3. Barney is more of a Man than his First Dufus...........