My Beloved Dittohead Brother Sees the Light (I think)

[charlyvi]

Time: End of July, 2004

Place: My house, down South.

My brother and sister in law came to visit me the last week in July, 2004. Bro is a gun-toting, knife-collecting Dittohead who thinks Liberals are the scourge of American life. Needless to say, politics are avoided when he visits as he is my blood and blood supercedes all politics--or so I keep repeating to myself, over and over and over and over. When he introduces me to people as "my sister, the Liberal", I smile and say glad to meet you. When he shows me his latest gun, and says "I know you're a Liberal and don't approve", I hold my tongue and refrain from asking him how crazy can he be to collect all this macho gun crap and how much of an asshole is he to taunt me with something he knows I can't stand. After all, he's my brother and I truly love him. I remember when we were kids; you know, the salad days.

Anyway, the first night he mentions something glowing about shrub, I can't even remember what it was exactly, and I went nuclear on his ass--blood didn't quite matter enough anymore. I screamed, I yelled, I went through the whole list--Iraq, tax cuts, the war against the working class, Medicare Part D, the treasonizaing of dissent, the incompetence, the embarrassment of a presidential idiot, the lies, the destruction of our country's reputation, etc, etc,. You know the drill. And he was not passive during this monologue. He was yelling as loud as I; I don't know what he was saying though, as I was yelling too loudly to hear him. Windows were rattling. My sister in law was cowering on the Lazy Boy, her eyes looking like Bambi's during the fire, darting from my brother to me and back again, as though she were watching a tennis match. It wasn't pretty. My brother finally yelled, "What are you going to do, throw me out of your house!" and I have to admit I was tempted, but he lives 700 miles away. Geography prevailed.

Things eventually calmed down, and later that night we were watching TV--no one was talking much. Bill Maher came on HBO, it was a Friday night, and I didn't change the channel. My brother stalked out of the room and went to bed. Looking back, not changing the channel was ignorant on my part, but I was still truly pissed. The next day, though, the situation got better as my brother and I kind of made up--we just stopped talking politics entirely. It was a minefield we would not enter. The visit went off with nothing else memorable. Fast forward to:



The Time: Christmas Eve 2006

The Place: My brother's house up North.


I went to my brother's house for Christmas. I vowed not to bring up politics; however, if he brought it up I also vowed not to back down, though I swore I wouldn't scream and yell (but I wasn't too sure the yelling and screaming one was a keeper). I loved seeing my niece and nephew, I gossiped with my sister in law, wrapped packages, helped decorate the tree; in short, did all the normal holiday things quite happily. Then, on Christmas Eve, my brother asked me, "How do you feel about McCain?" DUers, how do you think I feel about McCain? I told him McCain was an ass-kissing opportunist who sold out every value he ever held to get the '08 nomination; a man who kisses shrub's ass after what they did to him in the SC primary, etc. When I was finished, my brother looked at me and said--and this is the supreme moment of truth--"but Bush does that to everyone!" I was stunned. I was incapable of speech. He then went on to say the Repubs had no one worth voting for and he thought Edwards was a good man. EDWARDS, a Democrat, was a good man. You have no idea how many light years of political maturity my brother had to traverse to utter this sentence. I nearly fell into the Christmas tree. But I didn't let him know it--I acted as though it was the most normal thing in the world that my right wing wacko brother should embrace John Edwards, a progressive Democrat, as a "good man". I think he has bro's vote, if he wins the nomination.

I've thought a great deal about bro's turnaround; I think economics is the key. He says he'll be working the rest of his life--his company no longer funds a pension plan--and Edwards' economic populism seems to have done the trick. Anyway, as the saying goes, if the Repubs have lost my brother, they've lost it all.

Side note: My brother gave me two art books for Christmas (Picasso and Michelangelo) and though he prefaced the gifts with "I know you like that weird stuff", I appreciated them greatly.

My brother. God bless him.

[sinkingfeeling]

1. A thing of beauty!!

[charlyvi]

4. Thanks. Exactly how I feel. n/t

[gratuitous]

2. Stay in touch; keep the community ties

And lo and behold a Christmas miracle. I'm sure you regret some of the shouting match from 2004, and perhaps there was a better way. But nobody got hit, nobody had to inflict violence on anyone else. And who is to say? Finally standing up to your brother in a fashion and in a language that he could understand might have impressed upon him that you were serious in your beliefs, that you weren't just taking a stand to piss him off. Staying in touch afterward and staying in community with him perhaps kept in his mind what you had said. And sometimes, once a person has heard something new, a new thought canal gets dug, and as events unfold, they're channeled through that canal rather than the same old rut.

Wonderful story. Keep up your witness.

[charlyvi]

6. That thought had crossed my mind.

My brother has friends who think the same way; perhaps hearing a different side from someone he loves was the thing that started him thinking. I hope so, anyway.

[pstans]

3. The Repubs don't have anyone worth voting for

Every candidate has a major downfall to the Republican base.

[jgraz]

5. Nice story -- my fundie brother is still in the dark

He still thinks that Bush is a good president because he's a good Christian. However, I know my brother and our arguments are sounding more and more like he's arguing with himself instead with me. I'm pretty sure his pride is the only thing preventing him from admitting that Chimpy is a complete fuck-up.

The thing that really seemed to get him is when I asked him if he'd be proud to have his sons grow up like George Bush. He got quiet for a while and then asked if I'd like my kids (of which I have none) to grow up like Bill Clinton (raise your hand if you saw that coming). I said "yes" without hesitating, then rattled off a list of about a dozen Dems which I think are great roll models, including our childhood neighbor Russ Feingold.

Then I asked him to name one Rethug he'd like his kids to emulate. He still couldn't come up with one.

[charlyvi]

9. Same thing with my brother.

He can't stand McCain--thinks he's an ass kisser. Doesn't like Guliani, didn't ask why. I think he's come home to the Democratic party.

[YOY]

7. Now the seeds of doubt are planted explain just why he shouldn't listen to Rush

I think the 23 Million dollars a year to tell you your opinion works... Not to mention the fact that he never debates anyone. NEVER.

[charlyvi]

10. He stopped listening to Rush!

I forgot to mention that. Says he doesn't think of the working man. Miracles do happen!

[YOY]

17. Good for him!

There is hope for him yet!

Needs to be pointed out to every goddamn one of his listeners.

[alfredo]

8. Winning America back, one voter at a time.

[charlyvi]

49. I think if we've won back my brother

we must have won back a million voters ahead of him. LOL!

[alfredo]

63. We need tens of millions more. Get to work.

;)

[dave_p]

Darn

Don'tcha just hate it when folk start agreeing with you? Now where are you? Stuck!

I love "you like that weird stuff", though. Think of it as an offer of something else to argue about if things get too quiet a year hence. :D

[charlyvi]

15. LOL!

I was shocked that he actually tried to get me something I like, even if he didn't agree.

[dave_p]

11. Dupe

It posted two again! Please delete

[jackster]

12. amazing! I hear through the family grapevine

that at least one of my rightie family members will support Edwards - and this is the sister who voted for George Bush because he's such a "Christian man." I almost fell off my chair! I NEVER talk politics with them - I'm the black sheep of the family - left redneckville FL in 1980 for that liberal bastions of MASS so I'm one of those damn yankees donchaknow!

[CTyankee]

43. Hey, me too! My Texas relatives haven't ever gotten over my defection.

You can't leave Texas a go live anywhere else. If you do, there's something wrong with you. Even my Dem cousins prolly secretly belieive that, even if they don't say it.

But you just DON'T leave Texas!!! As my aunt told me "All your people are Southern people."

Oh, god.

[peace13]

13. I am so happy for you.

I can't imagine the weight that would be off of my shoulders if my sister had that kind of change of heart. Your family must be higher up on the evolution scale than mine! :) Peace to you and yours, Kim

[AspenRose]

14. My Republican husband offered to take me to see John Edwards

last week while in NH.


I was like, :wow:

[slestak]

23. Edwards may be the darkhorse

My Repub dad (who I really think is only a Repub because he likes Clancy books and John Wayne movies and thinks that's what he should be) was feeling me out about Edwards. "Is he gonna run?" he asked me, followed by a discussion of all the potential Dem candidates.

I knew my Mom liked Edwards, but I thought it was because she thought he was hot (I love my parents dearly but they are not the most politically aware people in the world) but I guess Edwards' message really is resonating with them.

[LiberalEsto]

40. Edwards has been working hard

to build a base among unions, etc.

[charlyvi]

50. That's why I think he hooked my brother. n/t

[aquart]

51. How is he on single payer national health?

That's going to be my voting issue.

[Qutzupalotl]

61. Edwards favors investing in universal health care.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2672228

I do not have details. It sounds like the details are not available yet. I'm leaning toward other candidates, but I can see that Edwards means well.

[Divernan]

52. Sounds like your husband was looking for an excuse so HE could see Edwards.

nt

[Double T]

16. STAGNANT wages, NO pensions, INCREASED contributions.........

to health care plans, OUTSOURCING and loss of American jobs will eventually shake the lemming followers out of their kool-aid induced trance and put them back in touch with reality.

[Hamlette]

18. Send him a copy of Edwards' first book, Four Trials

you can get a used copy for a penny more than the cost of shipping ($3.50) at amazon (skip the booklist review, or better still, read it and see how out of touch it is).

The book is the story of four lawsuits he did. They will break your heart. Populist stuff. Looking out for the little guy. Might kill two birds with one stone with your bro: Edwards cares about the little guy AND trial lawyers have a role to play in the system.

Loved your story. Makes we want to try and re-establish contact with my dittohead bridge player buddy. I've not spoken to him since we invaded Iraq. I'd need a good joke to send to break the ice. Know one? (snif) I miss him but couldn't stand the "all women are against war" shit.

[chimpymustgo]

27. Hamlette - that's a great idea for family and friend freepers (and some

DU'ers, for that matter).

You cannot read that book and not love Edwards and his family. And push aside the RW arguments against him.

[StarTurtle]

71. Since you asked for a joke...

Here's one that's so stupid it might work as an icebreaker:

Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
A. Anyone can roast beef.

[Hamlette]

76. he'd probably like it! thanks n/t

[CrispyQ]

19. Good for you & for him!

I think economic populism will turn many repubs around, at least those on the receiving end of the shrub's "great" economy. If he is open to suggestions, I highly recommend Thom Hartmann's book, "Screwed: The Undeclared War on the Middle Class." It is excellent.

My mother & I agreed not discuss politics at all. She, however, has reneged severals times, sending me little jabs & barbs in the form of right wing sound bites & mean-spirited emails -- always written by someone other than her -- you know the types that get passed around. I told her I was on the verge of cutting her out of my life completely since she couldn't respect a simple request to not discuss politics. She has finally stopped sending me shit & this was the first holiday in 5 years that wasn't unpleasant. Two years ago she stood up & announced that yes, she finally agreed we should leave Iraq, "and just nuke the whole GD place!" :wow:

BTW, my mother has listened to Thom Hartmann's show & said, "He is very reasonable." That is high praise from a right winger who voted for the shrub twice & continues to drink the koolaid.

[aquart]

24. It's important to remember that rightwingers have no idea how liberals think.

They've been told the most outrageous lies about us. So they find it special and a bit shocking when they listen to a liberal and find themselves agreeing.

The word "liberal" has been utterly demonized. Many people who consider themselves prudent conservatives have no idea how close we are in real terms.

[charlyvi]

28. True.

I think my brother realized that. His sister is a liberal, he loves his sister, therefore he must not hate liberals. Makes me think I should not have held my tongue so long.

[yellerpup]

20. Sweet!

Great story full of hope. Thanks.

[seabeyond]

21. ahhh, dont you love 'em, even in all their rw. you southern liberal, those

republican yankees, wink. my republican (never rw) hubby wanted edwards in 2004. out of the field, that was the guy he wanted. once kerry won the primary and hubby started listening to him became very enthusiastic for kerry. the small business and health care is what really did it for my husband with kerry.

good for you brother,... and you. thanks for your story
happy new years

[charlyvi]

26. I joke with him that we ought to switch houses. LOL! n/t

[monmouth]

22. Not only a great story, but a wonderful Christmas gift for you. I'm

also the blacksheep from a RW, Rush-lovin family. However, I notice the "points" e-mails are no longer forthcoming. The election woke a lot of them up. They started to see the hypocricy of the BushCo. Good for you and your bro, and a wonderful New Year to you and yours.

[charlyvi]

25. Thanks. A happy New Year to you and yours!

Actually, his conversion was better than any gift he gave me!

[Hoping4Change]

29. Kudos. What a great story and written so well. K & R

:woohoo: :applause:

[charlyvi]

30. Thanks.

You have no idea how happy I am that I can write it. My brother has come home (I think).

[ruggerson]

31. Edwards has amazing crossover appeal

and you have done a great job over the years standing up for what is right, regardless of how it might rattle your brother.

Your story points out, amongst other things, two salient truths: one, Shrub has truly decimated the faithful in his own party and two, the Republican power elite is quaking at the notion that Edwards will win the nomination, because they know, if nominated, that he will win the election.

[charlyvi]

34. You know, I think you may be right.

Sweet Johnny may actually be the uniter--the REAL uniter.

[Divernan]

53. I've been impressed by the # of people who have spontaneously expressed

support for Edwards to me. These are Dems who do not necessarily vote straight party lines. I haven't picked any particular candidate yet, and I don't know that much about Edwards' positions, but I am impressed that he is generating such enthusiasm and support.

[Kurovski]

32. I enjoyed that story immensely. K&R

A warm welcome to your beloved brother, charlyvi.

You're an excellent writer.

"DUers, how do you think I feel about McCain?" Lol!

[charlyvi]

36. It's the truth!

McCain is no kind of man to me.

[Kurovski]

39. McCain was a great disappointment.

He has completely lost his trustworthiness, and his dignity to boot!

I think DU is in two camps about it: those who once had respect for McCain, and those who thought we were crazy for having any respect for him in the first place. :D

[charlyvi]

41. I think I'm in the second camp.

I checked out his website in 2000 and thought, Oh Lord no!

[Lil Red]

67. I will never forget McCain's role in the Keating 5 S&L scandal.

We don't need another larcenous con man in the White House. Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that in the last 50 years (I'm dating myself here) the GOP has only nominated paranoid, homicidal thieves for President. When are we going to wise up and criminalize these deliberate attempts to destroy the constitution and our government. Neither anarchy nor tyranny are tolerable "points of view" in a democratic republic.

Okay, I'll get off of my soap box now...Go Edwards!!!

[Kurovski]

69. Here's more info on McCain's role.

http://www.slate.com/id/1004633/

"...The Senate Ethics Committee probe of the Keating Five began in November 1990, and committee Special Counsel Robert Bennett recommended that McCain and Glenn be dropped from the investigation. They were not. McCain believes Democrats on the committee blocked Bennett's recommendation because he was the lone Keating Five Republican.

In February 1991, the Senate Ethics Committee found McCain and Glenn to be the least blameworthy of the five senators. (McCain and Glenn attended the meetings but did nothing else to influence the regulators.) McCain was guilty of nothing more than "poor judgment," the committee said, and declared his actions were not "improper nor attended with gross negligence." McCain considered the committee's judgment to be "full exoneration," and he contributed $112,000 (the amount raised for him by Keating) to the U.S. Treasury."

[madeline_con]

33. "I know you're a Liberal and don't approve"

A lot of Dems own guns. You might pass that on.

Anyway, congrats on the turn around. :woohoo:

[charlyvi]

35. He knows that.

Actually, I don't dislike guns based on any liberal viewpoint; I was robbed at gunpoint once and get very queasy when guns are around.

[madeline_con]

37. Oh, sorry...

I see the reason for the apprehension. :(

[charlyvi]

38. That's okay.

I just really have this phobia about guns.

[RiverStone]

42. Fun story & a request...

Great story charlyvi, thanks for sharing!

So cool that something clicked in your formally wingnut Bro. Give yourself some credit too.
:yourock:

And if you find next Christmas that his transformation is complete, please invite him to post what shifted his thinking here on DU - even via his cool sister.

I always value the perspective of a rehabilitated rightie!

[charlyvi]

44. I would invite him to post, but it might scare him away.

Bro hates computers; but of course you probably could have guessed that. I don't want him to dig in his heels--this situation must be treated with kid gloves! LOL!

[librechik]

45. Hmm--I wonder how he would feel about Hillary?

let's compromise with John for now. That's a good middle point.

[charlyvi]

47. Exactly. I think Hillary would scare him away. n/t

[ellisonz]

46. You should have...

given him enlistment papers since he loves guns so much.

[charlyvi]

48. He served in Nam. I think he's done his part.

In fact, I think it's Nam that turned him into what he is today. He is not a 101st keyboarder--he has walked the walk.

[Kahuna]

54. What a great story and very well told.

:applause:

[charlyvi]

55. Thanks. I'm really proud of my brother. n/t

[fujiyama]

56. That's good news

Did you guys talk about any other potential Democratic presidential candidates?

I would seriously doubt Hillary would appeal much to him or other recent white male converts. Even though her politics are right of center, she's been defined already and is polarizing as well. Most people seem to have made up their mind about her by now. I think Clark would possibly have an appeal. After all, he served in Vietnam, but doesn't have the baggage Kerry did with regards to protesting (not dissing Kerry's protesting - in fact I find it admirable, but easier to swift boat).

Do you think Gore or Obama would appeal? Granted, a Gore run doesn't seem as likely, but Obama has a similar message as Edwards, but do you think race would play a factor?

Just kinda curious how you might gauge your brother's recent defection...

[charlyvi]

57. I didn't discuss any other candidates with him, but

I would guess, knowing my brother, that Hillary is a definite no. Too much baggage re Bill, who my brother thought was a draft dodger. Don't ask how he manages not to think shrub was a draft dodger--he gets angry, or used to get angry, when I point that out. Clark would be a definite yes, I think. Gore, no, because he voted against him once. Obama? I'm not sure. I didn't hear him say anything for or against Obama. As far as the strenght of his political defection, I think my brother is mourning the fact the today's repub party is not the repub party of old. He realizes, finally, that Rush is out for Rush only, soldiers are dying in Iraq for no clear reason (he was a soldier in Vietnam) and he will have to work til he drops because of the policies of the Bush Administration. But my brother surprises me all the time, so none of this is written in stone.

[Morgana LaFey]

58. What a fun read

I LOL a couple of times, and your affection for your dittohead brother shines through, and is very sweet.

Best of all, a REALLY happy ending. Now, it's YOUR job, should Edwards not get the nom, to bring him along anyway. Got it? ;-) I knew you did.

[charlyvi]

59. I'll try my damndest.

But if it's Hillary, though I like and respect Hillary, it will be a REALLY hard sell for him.

[Morgana LaFey]

65. Hah! You'd have trouble with ME under that circumstance nt

;-)

[LuckyLib]

60. There's always hope. I had screaming matches with my Dad over the Vietnam War.

And Nixon, and Watergate, you name it. Common sense, lots of reading, and paying attention transforms lots of folks. He's 93 now, and wouldn't cross the street to vote for a Republican. Can't believe Chimpy and the boys have no notion of diplomacy, compromise, or that the government is the people. Miracles do happen.

[charlyvi]

62. Right now, I'm thinking of this as a semi-miracle.

I'm hoping it will turn into a full blown miracle by '08.

[sonias]

64. Wonderful awakening story charlyvi!

I hope you continue to heal the family. Next year he might be telling you stories about the people he's had to wake up.

:grouphug:

Sonia

[mzmolly]

66. "Repubs had no one worth voting for and he thought Edwards was a good man."

:wow:

Good news!

[Polemicist]

68. Isn't family and politics wonderful?

This past Christmas, my dear 80 year old father called me "addle-brained", because I wasn't in favor of replacing all the "liberal judges" with good conservative judges. I think he was upset because I had just told him I was in favor of withdrawing our troops from Iraq as soon as practical. He really had no response to my comment that it's lunacy for our soldiers to patrol the same streets day after day, while being shot at and bombed each day in the middle of an Iraqi civil war.

But I was shocked at his "addle-brained" comment and I decided to keep my mouth shut and vowed not to mention politics again until my Christmas visit was over. And I actually considered cutting it short and leaving early. I thought better of it and didn't leave early.

He is just full to overflowing with FoxNews and Fundamentalist Christianist propaganda. I even endured his changing the TV channel to Fox News to attempt to try to present me with some of his "truth" while I visited. I watched Fox News silently.

I just pray that one day he will come to the realization of how he has been deceived, lied to, and used by cynical manipulators that don't really care for his religious beliefs, but only use the appearance of such to mine for votes. While at the same time they rob his and millions of other middle class families.

I will try to remain silent when he does one day see the light. As the young lady who started this thread did when she realized the light went on in her brother's mind and heart. You can't change any one's mind and heart for them, certainly not by angry arguing and fighting. Tolerance, love, and patience are required.

[marions ghost]

70. thank you

for this encouraging account of the epiphany of your brother. The awakening is occurring and many who were hijacked are jumping ship. I hope there are enough life vests.

[melody]

72. I had a similar holiday miracle with my brother

Not as true and clear as your lovely story, but nevertheless, the former Reaganite gave me for Christmas "The Audacity of Hope" by Barack Obama. I nearly called him and said, "who the hell are you and what have you done with my brother?" lol

[sonias]

74. Good for him, and you too melody

Good book. I wonder if he bought it online, or went to a local store and had to pay for it at the register?

I hope he asks to borrow it from you so he can read it too.

Sonia

[The Backlash Cometh]

73. Edwards IS a good man.

How is he on foreign policy? We need someone who can understand the intricacies of foreign cultures, and be able to navigate around them without tripping any wires.

[regularguy]

75. Nice story, excellent writing! NT

[BoneDaddy]

77. I have a similar story

I have alot of friends who are republicans, men and women who I have a long history with from childhood and I, like you, refuse to let politics destroy what is some rather good relationships.

I have this one couple who make a gazillion dollars and have been praising Bush from the getgo, voting for him twice.

I don't bring it up, but I won't back down either. While introducing me to another couple he said "you will have something in common with him (meaning me), she is also a Democrat". Well the woman said "she wasn't a Democrat perse, but she hated Bush".

Then my two friends, die hard republicans, did something that I never thought I would hear. They, and her republican Mother, all agreed that Bush was a failure.

I, like you, just kept an inner smile and simply said "let's hope the Democrats can help clean up the mess"... They all agreed, thought not very warmly.

[Matariki]

78. The Olive Branch you should offer your brother -

The next time he shows you his latest gun, and says "I know you're a Liberal and don't approve" - you should say "I'm a Progressive and I value the Constitution - including the 2nd Amendment". Then instead of being condescending to him because you think guns and knives are "macho crap" surprise him by showing interest (you could even go so far as asking him to take you to a shooting range!). He obviously has a passion for his gun and knife collection and you probably have hurt his feelings with your disapproval - and now he mistakenly thinks that 'Liberals' are all anti-gun.

Glad he likes John Edwards. There's hope yet.

(edited for a misplaced 'g')

[Joe Chi Minh]

79. Very funny! And moving too.