Did you "Dress Up" to attend family gatherings over Holidays or did you

[KoKo]

feel comfortable just being "YOU."

Is it important to look like "WHO YOU ARE?"

Did your parents gasp?

What ARE Holidays anymore....and what does it matter how you dress what you wear or what "manners" might be (just to please) ... the "old folks."

Shouldn't we all be FREE...to BE...YOU and ME? :shrug:

[Mojambo]

1. My family has accepted that I have no use for fancey dress.

Some of the extended family still get a bit peeved about my wedding attire, but I really don't give a rat's ass.

[Tekla West]

10. Funny

it took my family a few years to get past me wearing a dress. Yeesh, parents, just never happy.

[Raine]

2. Dressed up because

I'm the type that likes to dress up, that's when I feel I'm being me so I did both...dressed up and was myself.:-)

[Blue Fire]

3. Are you nuts?

If a comfy old pair of jeans isn't accepted, I ain't goin!

[northofdenali]

32. Amen!

The only restaurant here that tried a "dress code" went out of business in 3 months. If I can't go in my jeans, I don't go.

[noamnety]

4. I am ashamed to say

I wore my veterans for peace shirt, knowing the BIL would be annoyed. But at least I wore the sweatshirt version with the small logo, not the teeshirt where it's a gigantic thing you can't help staring at.

It ended up not mattering though. It became insignificant once the in-laws asked my college-aged daughter if she was still acting. (They used to go see her in community theatre when she was in junior high). She said she wasn't acting, but she's direction a play next semester. They asked what play.

Let me tell you, nothing brings conversation at a Lutheran Christmas gathering to a screeching halt faster than someone saying, loudly, The Vagina Monologues.

:)

[Tekla West]

11. Now that's funny!

I hope everyone lived through that dinner.

[KoKo]

14. LOL's...I can imagine either "stoney silence" or "Shrieks" as they run from

room. :-)'s

[noamnety]

24. we had "stoney silence"

everyone just sat there, not making eye contact with anyone else.

Then I couldn't help myself, I started to laugh. And then my daughter started to laugh. If we hadn't started laughing, though, I really think the evening could have gone on for maybe 10 minutes or so of complete silence, then someone finally saying "well, I suppose I should get going."



Edit: Oops, that previous post should have said "directing a play" not "direction a play." My fingers are unencumbered by the thought process, as the cartalk guys would say.

[pdxmom]

5. Jeans and sweatshirt is standard fare for me and what makes me

happy, so that's what it was. I will go out of my way on occasion to "dress up" for certain things, just because I know it will make certain people happier if I do...but I wear fun underwear when I do. :evilgrin:

[seabeyond]

6. big battle in our family about this. i almost always have holidays

at my house and guest over to my house. at 45 i just no longer feel the need to ever dress up for any reason. funeral i will, or if i were to accept something requiring dress up like a wedding, but then i dont go to those things because i dont like to dress up and would rather not do. but no one has to dress up to come over to my house for party, for holiday or the many times i invite people over for dinner. joke in our house is that i might greet at door in slippers, or sweat pants. how we dress is not the reason people come to my house. though i probably look better in my jeans or comfy clothes cause.... they are more who i am and i am comfy

anyway...

had to have christmas at in laws cause it has been three years since being there for holidays. she demands and throw fits if people dont dress a certain way and i think it is outrageous, and ridiculous. i refused to buy slacks for one son, the other had them. i refused to buy loafers for both children, this would be the only time they wore them. and hubby decided the nice shirt he had brought wasnt nice enough and afraid of his mom, so borrowed a shirt from his brother. i on the other hand wore new jeans, a sparkling shirt and high heel boots where one heel broke half way into meal.

rollin eyes

had one child throwing fit making him get into brothers shirt

had one son in white socks with black slacks.... h so bad, forgot black socks 450 miles away.

just a mess

and unfortunate that so much of the spirit of christmas took a back seat to dress, not even appearance because we all look good, clean, and in order almost all times.

two hours in these clothes and we all run into our guest room and change clothes for rest of day, after the meal. silliness.

[bigwillq]

7. Dressed as I pleased

Parents didn't mind at all.

[Solo_in_MD]

8. I showered, shaved and put on a clean shirt. Does that count?

Seriously, I don't know anyone that serious preens for family events unless that is what they want to do. I do what I always do, khaki dockers and an aloha shirt (Reyns Spooner if it matters).

That said, we did have a Dolly Parton moment...Alopecia Nervosa (sp?) runs in my wifes extended family, and one of her aunts is quite bald. While she does not hide it, unless you know what to look for, you would never know (a clue is the painted on eyebrows). For the family get together, she showed up with a mildly different hair style, somewhat more ornate than her usual style, but quite suitable for a woman her age (late 60s). One of the younger girls asked her how long it took to get her hair looking so pretty. Her answer was that she did not know, since she wasnt there. We all howled.

[SmokingJacket]

9. I don't think comfortable clothes = who a person is.

When I dress up a little I hope it reflects a part of who I am, just as my exercise clothes reflect another part, and my wedding dress was another part.

My true self isn't entirely the crumb-covered weekend slob! (though it's certainly a part.)

(I did put on a nice shirt for the parties I went to! Just to show the other people at the party that I was honored to be invited -- that's all it's about, imho. If you slob out for other people you're saying you don't care about their company so much.)

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

17. I'm in complete agreement with you

One needn't dress to the nines to convey a festive spirit. A nice shirt or blouse, a little jewelry or makeup shows you are there to celebrate, not sulk. The older we get, the more likely we know that this may be the last time we share an event with people who matter to us.

[seabeyond]

19. i dont think "dirty" crumb covered clothes ='s comfy either.

i also think putting on our nicer comfy clothes is appropriate opposed to my tshirts with holes. but i think that is different from the op asking dress up. i assumed she was talking finer clothes such as dresses, slacks, button up shirts and loafers or suits. that is dress up to me.

[Raine]

23. Same here

I like to putting on good clothes for myself. I also like other people knowing that I feel they are worth the extra care it might take me in dressing, especially when I'm a guest in their home and they have gone to the extra of preparing for me.

[Critters2]

33. Agreed completely. There's a time for dressing nicely, and for making an effort.

It's simply respectful, imo.

[barb162]

49. yes, you're right

[proud patriot]

12. I wore my Merry Grinchmas PJ's all day

They were a Christmas gift :D

[mnhtnbb]

27. Hubby has been in his PJ's ALL day today watching football.

[stanwyck]

41. My husband says he's watched six

bowl games. I'm not sure if that is even possible. I do know there's been a lot of channel switching. So, maybe he's "watching" 3 games simultaneously.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

13. mom used to make me dress up inappropriately when i was young

Mom made me dress up inappropriately, like to go see the cousins across town, wearing a dress.
Then when we got there we'd borrow their shorts and shirts and change into them.

When I was in college she threw a hissy fit because I didn't have any dresses in my dorm closet. I told her we did not do ballroom dancing anymore as part of quaint mating rituals. She thought I was supposed to dress up like a doll to attract boys. It was the 70s. I wore jeans and T shirts and I was clean and showered and washed my hair every day. I hung out with brilliant nerds so I didn't need to dress up. I liked smart boys and intelligent conversation.

Her idea of makeup was red lipstick. I would put on makeup and she said "Where's your lipstick?". I tried to tell her that red lipstick did not look natural.

When I was little she gave me perms and wanted me to look like Shirley Temple, and then wondered why I came home crying from school. When I got big she wanted me to dress like Joan Crawford in big shouldered suits. In high school she wanted me to wear lipstick. She bought me a lipstick and I wore it to school and everyone made fun of me. She did not want me to fit in with the other kids. She wanted me to be like her.

In grade school I had to wear a dress every day for twelve years, no matter how cold it was, so I spent years wearing shorts and slacks. Even now I very rarely wear dresses.

As a result I felt like I was selling out when I thought about wearing makeup or nail polish, as I got older. I even had fits of conscience about buying a flowered shower curtain, for gawd's sake!!

I equated femininity with being stupid and powerless. Because mom was powerless. And none of mom's friends had a good job. The women were taking tranquilizers and being repressed. Some of them were alcoholics. Most of the girls I knew in college were not real bright, so I hung out with boys. I still can't imagine why anyone would belong to a sorority, and dress and act exactly like other people, and have to do stupid stuff to join.

It was really embarrassing when she wanted me to join Navy ROTC in high school so I would have a date. I had no interest in military matters, or military boys. That was pretty humiliating. I was already plenty busy with orchestra and didn't have time for any thing else.

Now I dress like a clean slob, and am much happier. The Depression generation didn't understand that America has gone casual.

I don't have any family left so dressing up is not an issue.

[KoKo]

15. Thanks for sharing your experience with parents who were stuck in a different

time.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

18. Oy, can I relate to that

Our family would force my sister and me into the most god awful getups. Even worse, we had matching outfits foisted on us for years. Our dad refused to let us wear pants until we were pretty far along in grade school. We begged and pleaded until he finally relented because we were getting teased horribly. It was the '70 and most little girls were wearing pants. Dad was a product of the Depression and a subscriber to rigid gender roles. His mother, our grandmother, was even worse. Every Christmas there would be some hideous sweaters or jumpers waiting for us under the tree.

Unlike you, I didn't grow up to dislike dressing up as you can see by my other post in this thread. But I sure cringe when I remember being forced to dress like some weird hyperfeminine throwback.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

36. we couldn't wear pants to school

in the winter. I have heard of women that couldn't wear pants to school when they were girls, even up north where the winters were really bad, like Connecticut, for instance!

My grandmother told me we should not wear hair rollers or shorts downtown (in a little bitty shithole of about a thousand people). Grandma spent her life worrying about what other people think.

My dad tried to help me fit in, in spite of my mom's determination to make me the object of ridicule all the way thru school. Dad knew a lady that was a beauty operator, so we decided I would get a fashionable haircut when, I was in junior high. This was about 1967. I got a Jane Fonda shag. As in Jane Fonda in the movie "Klute", playing prostitute Bree Daniels. Well, mom was horrified that I had those straggly pieces of hair going down my neck. She had no idea that the style was from a Jane Fonda movie that I was undoubtedly too young to see, she just didn't like it. It wasn't "neat" and curly.

I didn't know I had beautiful naturally wavy/curly hair until I was 19 and went to a real hairstylist who didn't beat it into submission. Mom's stinkin' ammonia perm torture wasn't necessary. In fact, I've had people ask me if it's a perm and it's not. I eventually figured out I had to keep it fairly short and shaped or else it's outta control. I look at pics of me with the hippy-dippy center part, hair down below my shoulders, and now I realize that I couldn't even get it all clean.

The other thing Dad did was to take me to get some jeans. I got some vertically striped hiphugger Levi's. Mom thought hiphuggers were terrible. Not to mention those big stripes!! I remember my grandma getting me some bell bottom pants with a three inch wide waistband, which I detested. That meant they were OVER the bottom of my ribs. I happen to be short and short-waisted, so I actually looked better in hiphuggers. And Mom was a fashion design/clothing major in college, and she couldn't see that hiphuggers helped my proportions!!!

Pierced ears and bikini panties were bad as well. If you had those two, then you must be a slutty girl. I was smart, so therefore I had very few dates in high school, and had no occasions to be slutty. :evilgrin:

Dad also committed the mortal sin of buying me denim bib overalls with mattress ticking pockets, in about 1971. I wore them that summer to music camp, and everyone thought they were cute. Mom was worried about being "ladylike". Even though she never used that word, she just frowned. She didn't like the fact that I rode a ten speed bike in college and later played volleyball, and generally found exercise I liked to do, and sweated.

Mom never took a walk, that I can remember, or got any exercise whatsoever. She just sat around. As a result, she was very frail and sick in her old age. That's what too much of being ladylike can do to you.

[mrreowwr_kittty]

16. I guess I'm different from you guys. I like to dress up sometimes.

I dress casually most of the time but for special occasions I tend to go a bit formal. It perks me up and has a salutary effect on my behavior and comportment. But that's just me - I don't care what anyone else has on.

[Raine]

21. Me too

I like dressing up it makes me feel really good! :-)

[seabeyond]

22. in post above i say how all are welcome comfy, but... i have a family member

and a friend that enjoy dressing up. they like doing it. i totally embrace as we giggle about the inevitable that they come to my house all in place putting us to shame. they feel good. and that is what i am after when people come to my home. is for them to feel good. my mom liked dressing up. she did it well. excellent with accessories. i dont even kinda have her skills.

and thanks for reminding us, there are those that enjoy dressing up and feel good in those clothes.

[etherealtruth]

28. I feel that way , as well

[nonconformist]

20. I dressed "nice", but I didn't go all-out

Frankly, I kind of wish I did have somewhere to go where it would be expected/appropriate to get all dolled up. It would be a nice change of pace for me. I'm a stay at home mom so my life is lived in sweats and jeans, ha.

[mnhtnbb]

25. I enjoy "dressing up" and refuse to be intimidated into dressing down

just to fit in with the more casual approach. But I'm 55--and I'm the parent!

[Deep13]

26. No, I was pretty casual while vacationing in Las Vegas.

I don't do Christmas anymore.

[Scooter24]

29. Yes. Jacket and tie...

my parents and family are very formal. I grew up with strict rules on etiquette at the dinner table. Primarily, no jeans, t-shirts, shorts, hats, or sneakers to the dinner table. My parents are big on appearances.

Dressing up also adds a bit of class to an occasion. I'm the type of guy that would spend 30 min getting ready to go grocery shopping (lol) so it should come as no surprise that I do enjoy it.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

30. I didn't have to go anywhere

and I didn't. I worked between the holidays and otherwise stayed home. :)

[pitohui]

31. the real me is vegas, style, and glitz, yes i dressed up

if some in my family think i'm over the top and i'm sure they do, that's their problem, i'll dress as i please and pile on the gold and gilt for the holidays

if you can't sparkle then when can you sparkle?

life is short, wear glitter

i don't much care what anyone else wears but expect me to pull out all the stops!

[OnceUponTimeOnTheNet]

38. I enjoy dressing up too.

I've even gone out on New Years eve's past wearing an ankle length Cheongsam, with my hubby wearing a flannel shirt and blue jeans. It doesn't matter to me what anyone else is wearing, Just that all are comfortable and having fun, dressed up me included!

[alcibiades_mystery]

34. Oh fer fuck's sake

So, if my brother asks me to wear black tie to his wedding, then he is some tyrant restricting my precious freedom, whereas if I show up in jeans and an old sweater, I'm some sort of liberation fighter? And if I show up in black tie, I'm lying about who I am? Gimme a fucking break.

[Solon]

37. I don't think the OP is talking about weddings...

Hopefully, you will attend a particular couple's wedding only ONCE in your and their lives, so its a special occasion. The wedding isn't YOURS, you are dressing up to show respect at a special occasion, similar to funerals, gotta admit the similarities. :)

Christmas, Easter, other holidays may be different, depending on family, in my family, its definitely not a "black tie" event, a polo shirt and blue jeans will suffice. Just basically being comfortable and CLEAN, decent rather than "fancy".

ON EDIT: Actually, here is a good example, my sister is getting married in about 2 months, a couple of weeks ago, me, being in the wedding and all, was fitted for a tux, well, everything went well except for this, the shoes, my feet are rather wide, I always have to where either a size or two too large shoes, which mean they slip out of my foot, or I suffer with what feels like vice grips gripping the sides of my feet. My sister recommended the shiny black POINTED shoes for us guys, and the fitting place said the square toed shoes are wider. I can wear a size and a half too large shoes, for the wedding, but walking will be a problem, my heel slips out. So I asked my sister if I could get the squared toed shoes instead, she doesn't care, so she approved.

By the way, her fiance is going ALL out for his outfit, us Groomsman are going to where pretty much standard faire black tuxes, he's wearing a white tux, with black and white shoes, and a white Fedora on his head, I'm going to call him Bugsy. :)

[Nicole]

35. I dressed up

I like wearing dresses but seldom do because I'm home alone all day. So anytime I have an excuse to dress up I do.

Plus I find a dress or skirt more comfortable after holiday events that involve eating. I don't want jeans cutting into my bloated tummy. :rofl:

[RB TexLa]

39. What if who you are is considered "dressed up"

I wore a suit and tie to family events, was comfortable and was being me.


Of course someone people consider a tuxedo to be "dressing up," while others consider it to be tucking their tank top in.

[FooFootheSnoo]

40. Our get togethers are always pretty casual

I put a bit more effort into my hair and makeup than normal, but that's about it. I wore nice jeans and a sweater. That's what everyone else does. I do like dressing up though. I was a stay at home mom for the last five years and wore t-shirts and ponytails every day. I just got a job working in an office with a "professional" dress code and I enjoy it. It'll wear off though.

[mitchum]

42. Wore a little black dress and fuck me pumps

[Solo_in_MD]

44. I occasionally wear a red plaid pleated skirt and fancy shoes myself

Then again I tend to carry a real dirk when so dressed, it keeps the catty comments to a minimum

[mitchum]

47. A sawed off shotgun works for me

different strokes...:)

[eridani]

43. In my neck of the Pacific Northwest woods--

--casual is jeans and a flannel shirt. Formal is new jeans and a clean flannel shirt. I wore cotton-linen blend pants, a nice sweater with some of my home-made jewelry, and my crosstrainers with the special orthotics.

[Left Is Write]

45. The idea that my mother would dress up for Christmas -

or "gasp" that someone else didn't is nothing short of laughable. :) Mom likes comfort.

My dad wore a red shirt and a silly Christmas tie for Christmas Eve, but that's just him. I dressed my kids up for Christmas Day but not Christmas Eve, when they wore jeans and sweaters.

I wore jeans both days, blue jeans Christmas Eve and black jeans Christmas Day. I wore pink sweaters (different ones) each day, and I went to Christmas Eve church services in blue jeans.

[aikoaiko]

46. "Did my parents gasp?" ..... How old are you?

I stopped worrying about dressing up or down when I became an adult. Is not dressing up supposed to be me? Are manners not supposed to be something I do?

I must not understand this thread. Is it supposed to be ironic?

[barb162]

48. I dressed better than I normally do but wasn't really dressed up

as I would have a few or more years ago.