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Edited on Fri Dec-15-06 05:01 PM by HawkeyeX
Chanukah song #1
ok ok this is a song that uh, theres a lot of Christmas songs out there and uh not to many Hanukah songs so uh i wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any Hanukah songs."
Put on your yamakah, here comes Hanukah, so much funnukah to celebrate Hanukah, Hanukah is, the feastival of lights, instead of one day of presents we have eight crazy nights!
When you feel like the only kid in town, without a Christmas tree, Here's a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me!
David Lee Roth, lights the Menorah, so do James Konkirk Dougalas and the late Diana Shora, Geuss who eats together at the Carnagi Deli, Bosher from Shanana and Arthur Fonza Relli!
Pualoman half jewish, Goldi Hans too, put them together what a FINE lookin jew!
You don't need Deck the Halls or The Jingle Bell Rock, cause you can spin a dradle with Captian Kirk and Mr. Spock! (both jewish!)
Put on you yarmakah, its time for Hannukah, the owners of the Seattle supersonikahs, celebrate Hanukah!
OJ Simpson, NOT A JEW!, but geuss who is?, Hall o' famer Rod Karou!
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby, Harrison Fords a quater Jewish!, NOT TO SHABBY!
Some people think, Ebaniser Scrooge is, well he's not but geuss who is?, all three Stooges!!!
So many Jews are rich o' biz, Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is!
Tell your friend Veronica, its time to celebrate Hanukah!, O don't forget a harmonica, on this lovely lovely Hanukah! So drink your gin and tonicah, and smoke your marajuanica! if you really really wannukah, have a happy happy happy, HANUKAH!
Chanukah Song #2
Put on your Yamaka Its time for Chanukah So much funnaka To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights Instead of one day of presents We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town Without a Christmas tree Here's a new list of people who are Jewish Just like you and me
Winona Ryder, Drinks Manischewitz wine Then spins a Dreidle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
Guess who gives and receives Loads of Chanukah toys The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys
Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish, Courtney Love is half too Put them together What a funky bad ass Jew
We got Harvey Keitel And flash dancer Jennifer Beals Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish And yes her boobs are real
Put on that yarmulka Its time for Chanukah 2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka celebrates Chanukah
O.J. Simpson Still not a Jew But guess who is, The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo
Bob Dylan was born a Jew Then he wasn't but now he's back, Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish 'Cause we're pretty good in the sack.
Guess who got bar-mitzvahed On the PGA tour No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.
So many Jews are in the show biz Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish But my mother thinks he is.
Tell the world-amanaka It's time to celebrate Chanukah It's not pronounced Ch-nakah The C is silent in Chanukah So read your hooked on phonica Get drunk in Tijuanaka If you really really wannaka Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!
Chanukah Song #3 Put on your yamulke It's time for Chanukah (sounds good guys) Once again it's Onakah The miracle of Chanukah. (give it up for the Drei Dels)
Chanukah is the festival of lights. One day of presents? Hell no, We get eight crazy nights.
But if you still feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree I guess my first two songs didn't do it for you So here comes number three!
Ross and Phoebe from "Friends" say the Chanukah blessing. So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and "Will & Grace"'s Debra Messing.
Melissa Gilbert and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy. Maybe they should have called that show "Little Kosher House on the Prairie."
We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack Black. Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can have him back! (Just kidding Tommy!)
We may not get to kiss underneath the mistletoe But we can do it all night long with Deuce Bigalow! (I'm jewish!) Oh My God! Sweet Robbie Schneider is here!
Put on the yamukah Here comes Chanukah The guy in Willie Nelson's band who plays harmonica Celebrates Chanukah. Oooo, good job Schneider
Osama bin Laden--(Booo!)--not a big fan of the Jews. Well, maybe that's because he lost a figure skating match to gold medalist Sarah Hughes, her mama's Jewish!
Houdini and David Blaine escaped straightjackets with such precision. But the one thing they could not get out of Their painful circumcision.
As for Half-Jewish actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one, And Marlon Brando not a Jew at all , But it looks to me like he ate one.
Gweneth Paltrow is half jewish But an aweful time Oscar winner Jeniffer Conneley's half jewish too And I'd like to put some more in her
There's Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell, Beck and Paula Abdul.
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music But first came Hebrew school.
Natalie Portmanukah It's time to celebrate Chanukah. I hope I get an Abrtronicah, on this joyful, toyful Chanukah.
So get a high colonicah And soil your long johnukahs If you really really wantukah. Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy Happy Chan-u-kah!
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