Assholes check in here.

[chaska]

Wow, DU is crawling with it today.

I think I'm being a bit of an ass today myself. Sorry, having an unhappy day.

I would like to apologize. I'm sorry my fellow DUers. I'll try to do better.

There. Now it's your turn. Unburden yourselves if you've been bad and feel the need.

Hugs, ya'll.

[rpgamerd00d]

1. Hey, what is this thread about ? (looks around)

:D

[meegbear]

2. Here

:hi:

[Virginia Dare]

3. This may actually set a record for most responses ever...

to a DU thread :hide:

[bigendian]

4. Wait a minute.

Let me check. Yep. Got one.

[chaska]

6. Thanks for the grin.

:)

[The Straight Story]

5. Asshole TSS checking in

Do I have to take a number?

[chaska]

7. No, you got here early. Just head through the door marked 'wet noodle room'.

[jschurchin]

8. You know..............

I don't think a day goes by that I don't have a asshole moment. Todays no different just ask Greyl, MervinFerd or Vincent_Vega_Lives. I think they would all agree, "yep, he's an asshole".

[Bonobo]

9. I've been good surprisingly today. But there are some people on this board

that I really frigging hate...

[chaska]

16. Hey, how'd you get in here? Back into the shark pool with you....

Come back after you've taken a chunk outta somebody.

[acmavm]

10. But sometimes you click on something and it's just so

outrageous, you can't help it. And you don't feel bad about it aftwards, either.

[WilliamPitt]

11. Yo

[nebenaube]

12. guilty... n/t

[Beetwasher]

13. Proud Asshole Here

n/t

[wryter2000]

14. Hello,

My name is wryter2000, and I'm an asshole. :hide:

In fact, I'm such an asshole, I nominated this thread. (Embrace your inner asshole and nominate it. You'll feel glad you did.)

[chaska]

20. That's it, own it.

;) I'm so proud.

[bigendian]

21. Hi, wryter 2000!

I will always be an asshole too.

[Nordmadr]

23. Done. Now stop bothering me, I told everyone, I've got

kittens to go kick. :)

Olafr

[Dr.Phool]

15. Reporting for duty, Sir!

[wryter2000]

17. Fundraising idea for DU

The admins should make up a pucker icon, and we can nominate DUers to be assholes for $5 each. Kind of a reverse valentine. :evilgrin:

[NMDemDist2]

109. ROFL I just alerted this!

telling Skinner if he doesn't jump all over this idea he's nutz


:rofl:

edit to add, does that mean I have to check into the asshole thread now too?? :hide:

[wryter2000]

131. Too late. You're already here.

The fundraiser would be good for April Fool's.

[Nordmadr]

18. Cranky one here...

My wife tells me often ..."that wasn't very nice".

I reply, "Honey, I keep telling you, I'm not a nice man"...and then I kick my kitten to prove it. (ok, the kitten part is made up) :)

Olafr

[William769]

19. Well I just got to DU, but the day is still early for me.

Maybe I will have to check in later.

[Buzz Clik]

22. You disturbed me to read this piece of shit?

I'm a serious, self-proclaimed world class asshole. This drivel is not worthy of my input.

[chaska]

25. Go on back out there and get your fix....

We'll be here to kiss your booboos when you return.

[krispos42]

24. Gunner's Mate 1st Class Phillip Asshole!

Reporting for duty, Lord Dark Helmet!



:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[deepthought42]

40. ROTFLMFAO!!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


"I'm surrounded by assholes!"

[krispos42]

42. "I said 'ACROSS her nose', not up it!"

God, I loved that movie...

[deepthought42]

46. I see your Schwartz is as big as mine...

:rofl:

I didn't get that joke as a kid...lmao...

[krispos42]

77. "Now let's see how well you handle it..."

I loved the scene on Jupiter 2...

"Found anything yet?"

"No, sir."

"How about you guys?"

"Not a thing, sir."

"And you two?"

"We ain't found shit!"

[nyrnyr1994]

41. How many assholes do we have on this ship anyway??

Did you see there's an animated series coming out next year?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0870980/

[krispos42]

80. "Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money"?

Hopefully it's an adult 'toon on Comedy Central or Cartoon Network...

[nyrnyr1994]

85. Looks like it will be on G4

(snip)

Production on "Spaceballs: The Animated Series" began in early 2005 with the participation of Brooksfilms Limited, MGM and Berliner Film Compane GmbH. Brooks and "Spaceballs" co-writer Thomas Meehan co-wrote the pilot and Meehan will either writer of oversee the writing on all 13 episodes which will premiere on G4 in the fall of 2007.

(snip)

"Spaceballs," a parody of the "Star Wars" films (among other sci-fi targets), opened in 1987 and starred Bill Pullman, Rick Moranis and Daphne Zuniga. Brooks has periodically discussed the possibility of a live-action sequel.

http://www.zap2it.com/tv/news/zap-spaceballsseriesg4,0,217489.story?coll=zap-tv-headlines

[Jawja]

A lot of assholes are out in

traffic today (me being the biggest, of course).

People of &*^%&%$^% crazy out there. Lots of short fuses for this holiday season.

[arewenotdemo]

54. not to mention that solar flare the other day

those things ignite the inner asshole

[cwydro]

26. Hey, I'm just cracking up at the

number of views.:rofl:

[Marr]

27. Someone sent me this URL and said I should say "hello".

Hello.

[chaska]

29. LOL!

[masshole]

28. here

getting mine kicked today, does that count?

[QuestionAll...]

30. checking in. puce coloured and puckered. nt

[chaska]

35. What, you got a mirror???

Or, are you just extry bendy?

[QuestionAll...]

37. ohhh.... *blush*

wasn't a mirror on the equipment list?

[chaska]

45. Yeah, but, you know, it's kinda heavy so I didn't pack mine. But since you have yours...

you can be in charge of inspections!

[QuestionAll...]

47. good grief, what an asshole...

:rofl:

[chaska]

50. Somehow, I don't think you're a trained proctologist.

Your asshole-side manner needs work.

[Kelly Rupert]

31. Checkin' in! nt

[NoPasaran]

32. 'sup?

[geek tragedy]

33. Arrogant asshole here. eom

[OneBlueSky]

34. "Everybody's an asshole to somebody" . . . A Wise Person I Once Knew . . . n/t

.

[QuestionAll...]

38. "Assholes are like Opinions, evryone has one and everyone else's Stinks!!!

[Captain Hilts]

59. Well, I TRY to be an asshole, but I was 'reared' to have manners. I think I overcome them. nt

[ShrewdLiberal]

36. I'm a Howard Stern fan. That's a presupposition for being an asshole

:hi:

[TlalocW]

39. Checking in

Whatcha want there, cupcake?

TlalocW

[judaspriestess]

43. define asshole please n/t

:P

[chaska]

48. It's a hole, and it spews shit. Usually found in the lower torso, but...

has been spotted far to the north.

[Ron Green]

44. I'm an asshole, but I'm in recovery.

Checkin' in.

On edit: Proud to move this to the Greatest Page, where more assholes can step right up!

[QuestionAll...]

49. I'm an anus, all you peasants are the assholes.

[chaska]

55. Ah, put a cork in it.

[tridim]

51. Maybe the asshole that broke into my car last night will check in

2nd break in in 2 weeks. About the 6th in 2 years.

I've long since learned to leave my doors unlocked and remove everything of value. They never take anything, but this time they broke some plastic parts for no apparent reason. Assholes.

[Brazenly Liberal]

52. The worst assholes have no idea on this earth that they're assholes

So I figured I'd better check in, just in case.

[chaska]

58. ya can't be too careful.

[salinen]

53. Do taints count?

I haven't been a total asshole.

[chaska]

62. OUT!!! And take your broccolli head with you...

come back after you've tasted blood.

[sandnsea]

56. Well I'm a bitch

or is that just me being an asshole again. :shrug:

:rofl:

[chaska]

64. Sand AND sea, bitch OR asshole.... You're all over the map. Get it straight, then we'll talk.

...God, how I hate to see that. Poor confused thing. We used to have institutions to take care of these people, but since Reagan.... It's a just a damned shame.

[Bobbie Jo]

70. Bitches Unite!

We're more powerful in packs ya know! :grouphug:

Checking in! :hi:

[EvolveOrConvolve]

57. Hey bite me!

Oops, I guess I'm an asshole too. :)

[chaska]

72. Bite you??? Why, are you made of chocolate? Cause, that would be really cool.

[krispos42]

82. Umm... chocolate? In this context? Ooch, yuck. n/t

[chaska]

101. good point. LOL!

[BushOut06]

60. All these replies, and no Denis Leary references?

I'm an asshole, and I'm proud of it!

[bobbie]

61. Whatzup?

...

[frustrated_lefty]

63. Checking in, bitchy here

[chaska]

67. Where, exactly, in the thread title did you read the word "bitchy"?

OUT!!! You're not qualified.

NEXT!

[dogday]

65. I have been an asshole all this week

and it has been a very bad week for me....

[chaska]

71. Well, I'd offer a hug, but you've been such an asshole...

Ahhhh, come here. :hug:

[dogday]

73. My story is so bad, it would blow your mind

I have managed to stop the postal service to my complex because they were misdirecting and stealing the packages... I also managed to get it on my local news station this morning. I really did not want to be on TV though, I just wanted the story told....

[chaska]

75. Ooooh, you're a marked woman. I hope the neighbors aren't mad at you.

Sounds like you may need to take a couple for later. :hug: :hug:

[dogday]

76. Mine was the complaint that broke the

camels back... So many over the year that they had to do something... They are forcing him to put in locked mail boxes... which should of been done all along....

[chaska]

79. Oh good, you're not in trouble then. I'll have those hugs back.

:)

[porphyrian]

66. Need I bother? - n/t

[Contrary1]

68. "I think I'm being a bit of an ass today..."

Don't sweat it. I've been an asshole for several years now. Fortunately for those acquainted with me, and even those not, I have been gifted with the ability to hide it well. If people knew what I was really thinking...well, I won't go there.

So, if it makes you feel any better, be grateful that you are not a hypocritical asshole, unless of course you are one, in which case...you are not alone.

[chaska]

98. You're Jesus, aren't you? Look at you, bein' all beatific.

Thanks! Really!

[JacksonWest]

69. F'n A.

Bout time.

[Spazito]

74. Hmmm, is this limited only to today or is it to be a simple admission

that on most days I can be an asshole?

I have NOT been an asshole, yet, today but today is an anomaly so........

Overall, I proclaim my assholishness and will make it my New Years Resolution to try and have more than ONE day a year whereby I am not an asshole.

[chaska]

84. Gotta love a true Proggressive, making progress on his assholishness.

[Canuckistanian]

78. So if I post, then I'm automatically an asshole?

I don't even have to engage in assholetry?

[chaska]

97. We will protect your privacy, and will never realease your name to any turd parties.

[Canuckistanian]

111. Gee, thanks.

Wouldn't want other assholes knowing my name! :)

[IronLionZion]

81. Yup, I just feel crummy in general today

and I have a pretty bad cold so I don't feel like doing anything.

[Lilith Velkor]

83. *pffft*

That's all I gotta say.

:)

[chaska]

87. Wooo! No more eggs for you...

Go easy on the garlic while you're at it.

[mogster]

86. I'm actually having a happy day, my sis was cleared of cancer today

Her brain tumor was removed last November, now she's declared free of cancer :-)
So here I am, coding pascal with a smile *tic* *tic* *tic* *tic*

[chaska]

89. Good for her, AND you....

:hug:

[mogster]

126. Thank you, chaska

:hug: right back to ya!

[jgraz]

120. Hey -- congrats for you and your sister

Though it's too bad you're stuck coding Pascal. Objective-C is the only true path to enlightenment. :P

[mogster]

125. Heh-heh, thanks

I'll try that path sometimes, I guess ;-)

[ftr23532]

88. man, you all are such a bunch of assholes!

I feel so at home :grouphug:

[chaska]

95. Hold on, let me check the rules. Are newbies allowed to partake in group hugs?

I'll have to get back to you on that. Until then stand here and try not to knock anything over.

:) Welcome to DU, unpronouncibly named person.

[ftr23532]

115. you asshole...

...this one is just for you :pals:


And now, getting back to my usual activites...
:smoke::grr::nuke:
:banghead::spank::argh:
:beer::toast::puke:

[QuestionAll...]

90. can I put my sister-in-law's name here...

hey Jackie, you're an even bigger asshole than all these assholes combined.

[chaska]

94. I'll see your sister-in-law and raise you a sister-in-law....

GRRRR. You had to go there, din't you.

[BlackVelvet04]

118. Thankfully mine is an EX

sister in law.

[Deja Q]

91. I'll apologize for my sins.

[chaska]

93. There now, don't you feel better?

I'd like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love,

Grow apple trees and honey bees, and snow white turtle doves.

I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony,

I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company.

[Deja Q]

99. To an extent

The bulk of those who I'd be saying it to probably have me on 'ignore'. And that's their prerogative. It's impossible to be loved by everybody and those who listen should in turn be listened to...

I wish I listened to the fella I am thinking of right now... what you said in the e-mail was right...

[chaska]

100. Excuse me, is this a private conversation?

confession good for the soul, is it?

:hug:

[dweller]

92. which way is the bar?

i just loves hanging with my homies.

who's buying?
dp

[chaska]

96. Congratulations, YOU are!

[Cetacea]

102. here here

I propose a thread like this once a week/month.
Guilty as charged.

[novalib]

103. I DO SORT OF SMELL.....

Well, I do SORT OF -- BUTT ONLY SORT OF -- SMELL!!!!!

And I am KIND OF CHEEKY!!!!!!

I just don't like GETTING DUMPED ON!!!!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

104. Confess to being an asshole?

I don' need no stinkin' confessions!

I'm an asshole and this week has been especially stinky. Flu, fever, days without shower, and not getting any Christmas shopping done.

I forgot to feed the cats. Until one of them head-butted me. Even my cats are assholes.

Regards.

[Cetacea]

105. seems like mostly non-assholes are responding!

Oops. Was that an asshole thing to say?

[QuestionAll...]

106. I just saw a pretty big asshole of some notoriety

visit in another thread. I;m talking about an 8 on the Schitker scale.

wonder if he'll get the hint....

kick.

[Libby2]

107. I see assholes

[xultar]

108. I'll check in.

[high density]

110. I was driving around Mass. yesterday so I think that automatically makes me an asshole

Hello!!

[krispos42]

134. No, that makes you a Masshole

Especially when you keep driving like you're still on a crooked Bahstahn street when you're really driving on a nice straight Connecticut highway! :-P

[newsdude]

112. Yo. In da house

eom

[Warren Stupidity]

113. Get your fresh hot assholes right here!

[annabanana]

114. Oh yeah. .

no doubt about it

[Laurab]

116. After much debate with myself

I decided to check in. Well, actually, that's a lie - I didn't debate much at all, but I did just lie about it, which makes me an asshole I think...

[BlackVelvet04]

117. I don't really think of myself as an asshole....

but I'll fess up to being a royal bitch. :-)

[Ferretherder]

119. Honest, I just stopped in to see what was going on here......

.....really.

Uh, I, uh, guess,....ya' know, I'd better be, ummm,....ya'know....movin' on.

Yeah, uh,.....yeah.

Uh, but before I go, uh, I'd just like, umm, to say that, uh, what I really wanted to do was.....
to......

...SEE WHAT A ROOM FULL OF SUCK-ASS LOSERS LOOKS LIKE, YEAH!!!

(high-fives the nearest asshole) How's my Homies?!

Get me a beer, ya' fuck!

[byronius]

121. Why is everybody talking about me?

This is why I hate people!

[sweetheart]

122. Yo!

Sphincter on the ready... :-)

[Tiggeroshii]

123. I will never apologize for beingwho I am

[cool user name]

124. I just got laid by a cute little red head ...

No way I could be an asshole right now. I'm in too good a mood.

Wow. I mean, fucking wow!

[justice1]

127. Sorry I am late, but I am here.

[Cameron27]

128. Yep, for sure the last two days

on and off all my life:+

[Paladin]

129. Any DU Thread Dealing With Those Lost Outdoors.....

....will present you with all the assholes you could possibly want. The uniquely Republican "they brought it on themselves by driving up that treacherous road/climbing that mountain in winter/etc., so just fuck them" sentiment is in full flower these days......

[Hugin]

130. A friend of mine is an Asshole...

A big, huge, unapologetic asshole.

[yurbud]

132. so am I supposed to hit the key with my sphincter? I might need a pencil to do that....

[treestar]

133. DU is full of assholes who convert any thread immediately into

a referendum on just how superior they are.

Jumping immediately onto any thread about the utility of the mountain climbing rescue with the "oh, how dare you even question that, you must be a republican every man for hiself," etc. Immediate accusations against the person talking just to apparently prove they are better people than others. It must be hard to live like that, having to wait to see somebody else say something that proves them inferior and then having to divert the attention to yourself and how full of endless compassion you are for anybody who does anything, it must even include Dubya, why the poor man should be rescued by the rest of us for making the mistakes he made. We should all run to Iraq and risk our lives so he can have the comfort of being proven right.