Michael Crichton gets back at a columnist by naming a child rapist in his new novel after him.

[Bucky]

That, my friends, shows just how classy Crichton is. Complete with penis jokes, the Huffington Post reports:

Apparently blockbuster novelist Michael Crichton, not content with making up science to debunk global warming, is now taking literary swipes at journalists who write stuff about him that he doesn't like. In his new book, Next, he introduces a character called "Mick Crowley" — a Washington political columnist who rapes a two-year old boy. Funnily enough, Crichton was the target of a highly critical New Republic cover story earlier this year....by Washington political writer Michael Crowley, who often goes by "Mike." Which sounds an awful lot like "Mick." ...

Charming! It's minds like that which merit private sit-down meetings with the President of the United States. Crowley — the real, non-raper of babies Crowley, that is — is pretty sure that Crichton meant the allusion as a dig, calling it "a literary hit-and-run" on today's TNR.com and confirming that at least some of the details about the fictional Crowley dovetail with the original: Both are Washington political writers, both went to Yale, both are in their 30s, both seem to not be Michael Crichton's favorite people.

There is one detail, however, that Crowley singles out as telling: The fictional Crowley is characterized as having a small penis (this detail is important to the narrative insofar as it show's Crichton's disturbing attention to detail). Crowley addresses this point head on by raising the little-known "Small Penis Rule," sourced to a 1998 New York Times article:

{I}t is a sly trick employed by authors who have defamed someone to discourage their targets from filing lawsuits. As libel lawyer Leon Friedman explained to the Times, "No male is going to come forward and say, 'That character with a very small penis, 'That's me!'"

That's a pretty clever defense Crichton's cooked up there. He'll tell the jury, "No, I meant the OTHER Mick Crowley, the one with the tiny penis. This world would be so boring without conservatives.

[11 Bravo]

1. Michael Crichton is a talented writer who happens to be a prick,

as well as a right-wing shill. But I wonder if this particular slam is actionable.

[Bucky]

3. From the article, it sounds like Crowley isn't gonna call a lawyer.

Does anyone doubt Crowley won this feud hands down? Crichton has come off as an incorrigible brat here.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

5. talented?

[Bucky]

9. I've enjoyed his novels in the past. He's talented & prolific.

I dislike his politics, but Eaters of the Dead was not the work of a hack.

[11 Bravo]

10. That's one of the works I was thinking of.

I don't know if the poster to whom you were responding has read it. I could have asked, but I've danced with him before, and frankly, it's not worth the effort.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

11. I'll agree with prolific.

"Eaters of the Dead was not the work of a hack."

That's true. It was written by ibn Fadlan and some unknown Old English poet, then stitched together by a hack.

[MADem]

2. Now, if the REAL guy had a small willie and was willing to whip it out, he might have an argument

for damages! You don't need a big dick when you have a big wallet--there are a boatload of fellas to attest to that interesting truth.

That said, Crichton is a shit. A mean-spirited, likely tiny-penised, shit (after all, the most compelling writing has a grain of truth in it, mmmm?).

[dysfunctional press]

7. i don't know about the tiny-penis bit...

why so eager to sink to crichton's level?

but since he's over 6' 10", i'm guessing he probably swings some serious meat.

[David Zephyr]

4. Michaelangelo was the first to portray one of his critics in art with a small penis.

There's nothing original about Michael Crichton.

Anybody who writes a novel backward using material lifted from Discovery Magazine should not be afforded any serious attention.

Having read more of his "books" than I care to admit, he's about as scientific as I was with my little chemistry set when I was nine years old.

[AspenRose]

6. What IS it about neocons and molestation of children?

That's damn disturbing.

[Bucky]

12. That's the key question. For them it always comes down to power, sex, & license

Of course child rape & child abuse aren't about sex; they're about abusing one's power over others. For many Republicans, politics is all about the license to use power however they please--it's emotionally equivalent for them. Crichton's little tantrum was about using the source of his political power--his widely successful novel writing--to strike at Crowley. Classic psychological projection. Their justification is spelled out in the Dicks-Assholes-and-Pussies monologue in Team America: World Police.

As Democrats, politics for us is about fairness, helping families feed their own, protecting the powerless, seeing justice met. Conservatives weren't always so focused on politics-as-personal-gratification, but their roots were always in the communities where people don't understand what it means to be hungry. When survival is no longer in question, leadership always devolves into being about who has the biggest ego. Egos like Crichton invariably rise to the top.

[MrSlayer]

8. I like some of his work.

Jurassic Park and The Lost World were excellent books. Far superior to the crappy movie adaptons.


Edit: typo.

[BlueManDude]

13. I knew he was a RWer 10+ years ago when I read "Disclosure"

Evil, manipulative, career woman seduces innocent married man then accuses him of sexual harrassment. His attitude about the whole issue was pretty transparent.

His books are basically screenplays - ready for immediate developmet into movies. No character development at all. Why should there be? He knows the movie won't have any.

[jumpoffdaplanet]

14. As I wrote in a previous thread

Writers write from their own experiences.

And if I was a member of Crichton's extended family and had children, I would let that pervert near them.

[carolinayellowdog]

15. Worst person in the world!

And well named as such by KO tonight.

[Blue_Tires]

16. bush league