John McCain Suicide Watch: Day 23.

[Pab Sungenis]

On October 18th, 2006, John McCain announced his intention to kill himself if the Democrats took control of both the House and the Senate.

We are now entering Day 23 of the John McCain Suicide Watch. By all measures, John McCain appears to still be healthy today, so we can safely rule out slow acting poisons. Aides have apparently done their best to keep letter openers away from him, and are only allowing him to use the little plastic scissors with rounded points. Whether his wife is cutting his steak for him we are not yet sure, but someone must be doing that since it's apparent they won't let any knives around him, foiling any attempt at hara-kiri.

As the days roll by, it's possible that McCain's announcement of his impending suicide will turn out to be just another in a long line of broken campaign promises, but we still have faith in you, John! We know you can do it! You're a man of your word, and we'll be right here waiting for you to live up to your promise.

Have a cigar.

[JI7]

1. HAHAHHAH

great post

[JI7]

2. btw, didn't Drudge say he would stop work on his website if Dems won Congress

anyone know if his website is still updated ?

[Poll_Blind]

3. LOL! I was just thinking about that tonight and musing privately that...

...if I were a fellow senator the day after the elections I would have sent two things to his office: A funerary wreath with the words "John McCain: He was true to his word" and a note saying "Senator McCain, despite your comments I implore you not to commit suicide. The wreath is in case this message has arrived too late."

PB

[Blue_Tires]

4. hey johnny boy!

you owe yourself a shotgun sandwich!

[dchill]

5. Just another typical example...

of John McCain being (not so much) true to his word.

[Trillo]

6. Hey, I've felt like that,

but not if "Democrats took control."

In all fairness, he didn't say he would kill himself, only that he'd "think" about it.

Has he gotten any new prescriptions? If you don't know, maybe the Executive Branch does. I think they've got all sorts of new kinds of fancy computers and databases all connected up to each other that are matching all financial transactions through third-party check clearers to just about everything. (just a guess)

That Brancy might not really want to perform a special database search for anyone that's not their crony, however.

[Kiouni]

7. need an exit bag?

[Neshanic]

8. He will just spend a lost weekend in his wifes beer warehouse.

[Perky]

9. LOL Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still valliantly dead

[malaise]

10. Make that Day 24

We're waiting John - get on with it.

[Tyler Durden]

11. As the late, great Jerry Orbach said:

"I guess here 'suicide watch' means they watch as the guy committs suicide."

Ah, to have lived in the time of giants, versus today, the Moment of Midgets. Figuratively, of course.